13-My Life Without God Was Self-Driven

13- My Life Without God Was Self-Driven

When I told God I was leaving Him but that I would at some point “be back” in relationship with Him, little did I know there would be eight years of wandering in the dreadful wilderness known as rebellion.

This is how it looked for me:

I did not take God into account, didn’t ask for His guidance, didn’t ask for protection, and didn’t ask for His provision or His help.

I was “doing life on my own”, just as I had spelled out to Him that afternoon in my dormitory room. I was not considering Him.

That doesn’t mean that I was slothful or negligent or that nothing was accomplished. I was successful in my teaching—children learned to read and write, and my goal was to visit every child’s home each year. Because I was at the school seven years, and many siblings came through my doors, and I knew a lot of the parents on a first-name basis. Some of those of years I had small groups of students to my house for dinner.

Jackie, me, Judy (student teacher) and some of our first graders having dinner at Jackie'sIn this picture Jackie (the first Jackie, who was married to Joe), on the left, entertained a group of us for dessert. Judy, on the right, is one of our student teachers. I am in the middle.

Because I supervised nine student teachers between 1973 and 1977, I had the status of adjunct faculty at the University.

When we were asked by a colleague of Rory’s to do emergency care for a toddler for several weeks in the summer, he and I said yes.

You’ve read about the Disneyland story.

I filled up that God space inside of me, the space that He prefers to be reserved for Him, with activity, ambitious projects, and my ego. I collected local artwork, drove a bright yellow CJ-5 Jeep, went to operas and ballets at the Pioneer Theater, and even worked a weekend job as a cocktail waitress at a popular steak house.

In the Thesaurus that I am using, immediately following the words rebellion and rebellious is the word rebirth! My rebirth is what I am leading up to, but first a couple of more stories.