13- My Life Without God Was Self-Driven
When I told God I was leaving Him but that I would at some point “be back” in relationship with Him, little did I know there would be eight years of wandering in the dreadful wilderness known as rebellion.
This is how it looked for me:
I did not take God into account, didn’t ask for His guidance, didn’t ask for protection, and didn’t ask for His provision or His help.
I was “doing life on my own”, just as I had spelled out to Him that afternoon in my dormitory room. I was not considering Him.
That doesn’t mean that I was slothful or negligent or that nothing was accomplished. I was successful in my teaching—children learned to read and write, and my goal was to visit every child’s home each year. Because I was at the school seven years, and many siblings came through my doors, and I knew a lot of the parents on a first-name basis. Some of those of years I had small groups of students to my house for dinner.
In this picture Jackie (the first Jackie, who was married to Joe), on the left, entertained a group of us for dessert. Judy, on the right, is one of our student teachers. I am in the middle.
Because I supervised nine student teachers between 1973 and 1977, I had the status of adjunct faculty at the University.
When we were asked by a colleague of Rory’s to do emergency care for a toddler for several weeks in the summer, he and I said yes.
You’ve read about the Disneyland story.
I filled up that God space inside of me, the space that He prefers to be reserved for Him, with activity, ambitious projects, and my ego. I collected local artwork, drove a bright yellow CJ-5 Jeep, went to operas and ballets at the Pioneer Theater, and even worked a weekend job as a cocktail waitress at a popular steak house.
In the Thesaurus that I am using, immediately following the words rebellion and rebellious is the word rebirth! My rebirth is what I am leading up to, but first a couple of more stories.