113- Praying, Surrendering, Hearing from God

113- Praying, Surrendering, Hearing from God

Dan felt he needed more training in order for us to fulfill our goal to be missionaries to Japan someday. We were seeking God about a Bible school that would offer that curriculum. I was struggling with uprooting the family and yet really wanted to please God and please my husband. It was the surrender struggle–putting it all in the Lord’s hands and trusting Him to guide us into the best course of action.

August 16, 1983

Surrendering to You, Lord, I release our house, our living in Reno, our church and friends, our close-by relatives (Dan’s) and our far-away relatives (mine).

I open myself up— 

*to prosperity

*to deeper teaching of the Word

*to geographical move

*to a closer walk with You

*to being the wife of a student

*to embracing Dan’s furthering his education

 September 2

I am claiming this:

Isaiah 32:18 My people will dwell in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.

September 6

I MUST keep full of the Word – or else I am not secure about Jesus being all I need and worthy of worship and service.

September 8

I am realizing that I am very fearful and anxious about the unknown…the next step…

moving… where?… we sent letters to four Bible schools.

I need grace for this Jesus.

Philippians 3:8 I count all things loss …and count them as rubbish that I may gain Christ.

September 14

John 10:11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep.

Realizing that I am to shepherd my boys and give my life for them—really, lay down my life daily on their behalf, that THEY might be raised to fear God. I do choose that.

Having lately chosen intercession over friendships has been wonderful, and turning to praying over socializing. I hope I will be able to continue. On Saturday at the KNIS picnic such a work of the Spirit had happened in me that I SAW gossip, I SAW the “traps” and stayed clear.

112- Womb Closed, Womb Open?

112- Womb Closed,

Womb Open?

July 8, 1983

Today I am remembering Gary’s prayer for the Lord to close my womb.

Gary had a disability. Our hearts went out to him and we welcomed him and his wife into our home on many occasions. He was a new friend at church, and he had said that he had a word from God that He would close my womb. We had been questioning whether Dan should have a vasectomy (since we had given our family planning to the Lord). I had faith that, although this sounded very unusual, I knew God was able to do this. It brought me peace for many months in this area that we were seeking the Lord about.

July 18

Lord, my appointment on Wednesday is with Dr. Staffer, a Christian associate of my regular doctor. I ASK that he notice my womb closed. (Sounds like an incredible request) It would make the testimony more believable. I also ask for You to tell the doctor if I have a hormonal imbalance or if I am beginning the change of life. I would like some counsel from him about this. Thank You.

August 16

Dan has been so loving and so faithful. Thank You for strengthening our relationship, for giving us Your love for each other.

September 19

*Yesterday at church Jan said, “Are you pregnant?” Strangely I felt I heard the Lord say: “You are.”

*Two weeks ago a little boy at church, 7 year old Matthew, asked if I was going to have a baby!

*KathyS gave me two maternity dresses!

*I had spotting last Tues, but today I started my period.

*And two months ago the doctor had said not to rely on that faith prayer for birth control.

*This morning on the phone, Karen said, “I wouldn’t be surprised if you were pregnant.”

I am shaken. I really thought this was settled. I guess I will soon know.

It’s not having another baby that is the issue. If that is what You want for me and for us, I will be ecstatically rejoicing from the depths of me. I really will, I will not resist in any way. In fact if there is new life in me, “welcome, little wee one! we love you already.”

The hard part is the humiliation and the jokes that will follow us and be thrown in our faces. And that hurts my spirit deep down.

I know You are able to do anything You want to do. By faith, I believe You are reliable, and that every circumstance You allow has purpose for Your kingdom and for my being conformed into the image of my precious Savior.

The man who had the word for me about the Lord closing my womb was only at our church a few months. Knowing him was a good experience because it has helped us recognize legalistic people and people who should be wearing a sign that says—beware of me! I’m a little ‘off kilter.’ You have seen Dan’s and my wholehearted faith in the Lord. But at the same time we needed to grow in the area of discernment of spirits.

Dan and I have gifts of mercy, so it was easy for us to bring this man into our world. But the gift of mercy really needs wisdom and Spirit leading or the mercy person will find himself with a houseful of homeless people or stray cats, and his hard-earned money in other people’s pockets and not his bank account.

The rest of the story: I was pregnant. Several months later when we we celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary, our sons were 5, 4, 2, and newborn. And Dan got the vasectomy.

111- A Letter from Susan

111- A Letter from Susan

I received this letter within a few weeks of Jeanette’s letter (blog #110). I felt it was very sweet of Jesus to balance the first one out with the second one. He is always very gentle with me.

Susan was another special friend in our church. Praise God, I had not insulted her! She packs a lot into this letter: encouragement that I had strength and wisdom, and assurance that I would give no condemnation; that I was approachable and real and would not judge her. And even an offer to babysit! This is a cherished word, even as I read it today.

July 1983

Dear Georgann, You may think it’s a little strange to get a letter like this, but I really feel like you need some encouragement and I write a lot better than I talk.

For several months I’ve had a gut feeling about going to you with worries or confusion about several things because I feel instinctively that you have a lot of strength and no-nonsense wisdom to apply to areas where I am far too emotional to be objective. I also thought of you because I felt no matter how you saw the issue, even to the point of setting me straight if necessary, that I would not be subjected to any personal condemnation.

When Bobby and I realized we had to take some drastic action to make our marriage work, we had a lot of options and a wide range of people to choose from but both felt he should talk to Dan because you two are making it in the midst of the nitty-gritty of life, rather than making it because there are no problems. And of no less importance, you are approachable and real, and we felt we would suffer the least amount of embarrassment (Christians aren’t supposed to have marital problems).

The only reason I haven’t come to you before is that I haven’t seen an opportunity to talk privately. I probably should have made an opportunity.

At any rate, I don’t think you’re seeing yourself accurately (remember our hearts deceive even ourselves) and what I see is a calm strength and depth of character that is much to be envied.

Lastly, if you want to ditch the kids for an afternoon, I have a big yard and a little dog who just adores kids.

Sincerely,

Susan