143- Jesus Came to Our Luncheon

143- Jesus Came to Our Luncheon

March 3, 1985

On Saturday morning I was up from 5-6 praying in tongues. It came to my mind to go with Carol Kearney to the luncheon. I decided I would call her at 8am. But she called ME at 8am! GOD SPOKE TO ME!

Thank You, Father, for touching me yesterday at the Ladies’ Luncheon. Many tears of cleansing during worship. At the end Janet Alward called forward “those who do not want to live by their emotions and who want to hear God speak to them.”

I went forward and surrendered…shaking…heat on my body. ‘Just as I am, without one plea, but that Thy blood was shed for me!’

Earlier Janet had exhorted us to climb up on Jesus’ lap, to rest our heads on His shoulder to receive strength. I FELT power come into me.

I received a new tongue, cried many tears, felt comfort and peace. Such release, such joy.

She said, “God is changing you completely. You’re becoming all new.”

To me personally: “You have been given an intercessory ministry (not sure how she worded it). Whenever you feel the Holy Spirit come over you like He is now, pray!” This has been the desire of my heart.

As we sang, Just as I am, I received a wonderful revelation of God’s death for ME, personally. Jesus Christ gave Himself for ME. Hallelujah.

142- Reading the Word to Stay in Faith

142- Reading the Word to Stay in Faith

February 27, 1985

Up with Daniel the other night. While walking Daniel and talking to the Lord, I was overwhelmed by remembering the blatant sin I’d been snared by (willingly) in those years away from God (eight years in my twenties). Have wondered if the scars on my personality, emotions and reputation will forever keep me from ministry to others and from happiness?

The next morning I ‘happened’ upon:

Luke 7:36-50 paraphrased: Jesus told a Pharisee a story with the moral that the person who has sinned the most and is forgiven is the one who will love Him more. Then He said to the immoral woman who was ministering to Him out of her brokenness and love, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.

And then the Spirit led me to:

Mark 5:34 And Jesus said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace and be healed of your affliction.”

From these verses, Lord, I perceive that my own faith is weak. I am going to read as much of the gospels as I can before the Ladies’ Luncheon on Saturday. My faith must be strong to receive from Jesus and be healed of my afflictions: poor self-concept and bondage to my immoral past.

141- To Homeschool or Not?

141 –To Homeschool or Not?

There were always issues that I kept before the Lord until I received an answer–praying often and keeping a log of what I felt were Holy Spirit nudges.

February 17, 1985

Dan is concerned about Timmy going to school next year as he watches the maturity level of other boys his age.

Spoiler: At least four of Tim’s friends had to repeat first grade or were put in the special education category. We were SO glad we kept him home to learn at his own pace. Tim graduated from medical school last May 2016 and is interning in family medicine.

February 20

We are scheduled to go to meet a woman who is homeschooling her several children. Praying for discernment. I walk in the Spirit and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

We went, and it was a good experience. She is planning to teach her kids through high school! Her house was very dreary and they are too isolated, I think. But Jackie and I were inspired.

In hindsight:

From the Holy Spirit, and then later confirmed from Ruth Bell Graham’s book, It’s My Turn. I see how my single’s ministry, done from a whole-hearted surrender to God for 3 years, got me the reward of the fruit of my womb and this wonderful God-fearing husband. Not chance or luck or anything but God’s grace. I could also ‘see’ that He also used the 6 ½ years as a teacher to prepare me for my life now.

Ruth had been born and raised near Shanghai in China, schooled at home through the 5th grade. She felt she was called to be a missionary in Tibet, but in marrying Billy, she laid it down.

She says of her married life, “Mine has been the task of staying home and raising the family. No higher calling could have been given me. At the same time, it has been loads of fun.”

Now wasn’t that interesting. That Ruth’s book would come to my hands at that time of my life. She was an admirable, sold-out-to-Jesus woman of God, providing inspiration for what would be my calling for the next 20 years or so. I homeschooled (often with Dan) our four sons into their until they went to the community college at 16 or 17. AND homeschooled our adopted son until he was in his mid-teens.

140- The Old Birth Control Issue Rises Again

140- The Old Birth Control Issue Rises Again

January 22, 1985

Dear Lord, Do You care if we do something permanent about birth control?  

Dan called to make a vasectomy appointment.

He called back to ask about paying on the installment plan. She told him that $350 was due at the time of the operation. He cancelled the appointment.

I’m not sure if this operation is Your will for us, but it seems to be people’s will for us: we have been given money by Dan’s dad, Danny and Lynn, the Theilmans, and my parents, just not quite enough.

February 17

Because of the nighttime ups and downs it seems sensible to say—no more!

March 7

This is the day that the vasectomy appointment was scheduled to be done. I have been praying in the Spirit about this issue. My old Catholic conscience interferes with my logic and my desire to not go back on our deal with the Lord that He would plan our family.

June 4

Yesterday I asked God to show me my hearts’ desire about our family. The thoughts came today that I would like a dozen children! But the reality is that I have not the years left, the money, the nervous system for it. The thought also came that God gives us CHOICES: I cannot do everything. I am one person with so much time, money and energy. I would like to teach the boys at home, because I feel so led by God. I love teaching, I am experienced and feel gifted. It would give me input into the boys’ lives now at the time I can really relate to them. Then when the time comes to let them go, I would be more ready for it. I feel like I’ve had so little personal one-on-one time with them. I KNOW I could make it up! Is this of You, Father? Please speak to me about it. The vasectomy is in 2 days. Bless You.

Thank You for working out praising in me. Let it be…let it continue. Such peace and contentment have come to me these last few days. I refuse to worry and fear, I look not at the messy house, I do not compare myself with Jenny. I praise You that I’m ME and that You are in my life and leading me. Living daily here—so who’s there to impress? I’m less uptight, more relaxed. Singing…

June 6 Our little platoon trooped into the waiting room, Dan had the operation… more on this in a few years.

139- Determined to Live Within Our Means

139- Determined to Live Within Our Means

January 3, 1985

My new values about materialism were tested at the Hart’s on New Year’s Eve and at Lynn and Danny’s on NY day. I found myself admiring their homes and goods. But I confessed it to the Lord.

I felt the call so clearly yesterday to move to the area of town where our ministry would be more obvious and I will not have to feel that I have to compete with those who have more stuff than we do.  Other people don’t lord over me, that’s not the issue. It’s that we need to break from a standard of living that we cannot meet into a standard of living that is more suited to Dan’s paycheck. I feel prepared in the Spirit and ready. Moving from a house we cannot afford is mandatory.

Our prayer is for a house with: 1) adequate space for our family size and type–four active boys means we need space; 2) a big yard; 3) sidewalks; 4) laundry facilities;  5) ready to move into or very simply and cheaply converted to our needs.

February 17

We looked at mobile homes and I said I was willing, but they were tacky, cruddy, and in a bad neighborhood. I had to say I wasn’t! Besides: we cannot afford bad influences on the kids.

February 24

Agreed with Kelly G on the phone for a miracle place that was very acceptable. I FELT the Holy Spirit in her prayer.

March 2

Dan looked at Stead duplexes, there is always one available, somebody said. So that is where we’ll go unless God intervenes! Oh, Lord, not Stead—please!!!

I am laughing at my unavailability! I thought I was SO surrendered, but I really did have strong opinions about just what neighborhood we lived in!

March 27

God intervened! PRAISE HIS NAME In the newspaper Dan found: 128 La Rue. Newly painted, carpeted, large porch, full basement, 2 ½ bedrooms, utility room. $485!!

Lord, thank You. I asked for sidewalks and you gave us a sidewalk of cement on all four sides of the house so the boys can go round and round on their big wheels! The front porch is awesome and there are two very small patches of grass surrounded by a picket fence. You met us in our need. We are so relieved!

On my calendar: Jan brought boxes and money! Dan met our new LaRue landlord and cinched the deal. JackieS invited us to dinner so we could pack the kitchen. On moving day our friends showed up: Jim & Jeanette, Sean, Paula, Glenn, Marty & Erin, John. We were blessed.

138- Adopting God’s Values

138- Adopting God’s Values

January 3, 1985

Yesterday morning, I sleepily read Psalm 1, and then as I thought about it on my walk I decided that my goal for 1985 will be chewing on Your word.

Psalm 1: 2-3 But His delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night; and he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither, and whatever he does shall prosper.

That’s interesting: Your idea of PROSPERING is through focusing on the Bible as my treasure, while the world’s way of PROSPERING is acquiring CASH!

During the boys’ nap time I did my weekly Bible study in James, and the subject was riches and wealth. You are impressing me with Your values and helping me get mine in line with Yours. Help me to hear what You are trying to tell me!

Lord you are really convicting me soundly of a superficial lifting up of wealthy people. I have definitely seen myself being prejudice towards the goods and status of the affluent in our church. I repented of showing favoritism.

In the study there were many scriptures for me to look up about “God’s favor toward the poor.” I found it in my heart to be very willing before the Lord to live in the Glenn Duncan area [where I taught school]. I am praying about that being the area of town we move to. We quickly realized that the $600 a month rent that we pay here on Grandview is too much so we have looked at the Shultz’s house in Sparks and want to look at Prosser’s and Plouman’s rentals in the Glenn Duncan area. If we move there it means I would be ministering to some of my previous students.

Also regarding riches:

I realized through my conversation with Jackie this morning that I cannot keep up with her and Susie. They have more available cash than I do–and they want to start making Christmas gifts already! My time and assets do not allow me to join them. I felt very competitive during the conversation—trying desperately to prove that I’m okay and to get some positive attention for myself because I cannot compete with them on other levels (cookie baking, gift making, gift giving). I would like our relationship to continue in spite of this.

You are wonderful, God. Keep speaking to me about our faith walk, our attitudes about money, about making hard decisions in order to stay in sync with what we believe. I want to be in Your favor and Your will.

I have become very interested in trusting Your supplying most of our goods. Since we have a little money in the bank, we have bought things (still not much) rather than praying, believing, and waiting. A faith walk is so much more rewarding a life style.

137- I Am Called to Mothering

137- I Am Called to Mothering

December 27, 1984

Father I know You have more of me now. Something really happened in my will and in my heart–since my encounter with You last week.

Christmas morning I took Mary Lynn to work at 6:30am—in fact, I just realized I have awakened at 5am each day since my revelation of materialism and covetousness. Thank You, Father. And thank You that we did not move to NY. The support of friends has been vital at this time.

It is in my heart to want to spend more time with the boys– listening, sharing, reading, playing. I want each to feel special and loved.

December 28

1 Cor 1:26 For consider your calling, brethren…

              28 …God has chosen the things that are not, that He might nullify the things that are…

             29 so that no man may boast before God…

             30 But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption,

              31 so that just as it is written, “LET HIM WHO BOASTS, BOAST IN THE LORD.

This is such a wonderful revelation to me:

     I am called to mothering. This has baffled me. Before we were married we put the subject of children in Your hands, completely relying on Your will to be done. 

    When I was released from public school teaching and then the Christian school teaching job did not work out that fall, I realized I was very relieved. The car hop and cashier jobs caused me to feel you were directing me away from kids’ work.

But God chose something that WAS NOT so that I could NOT BOAST before Him. I was not yearning to be a mom, I was yearning to do Your will. So You could give the calling to raise children back to me as Your gift.

This fills me with excitement in my Spirit from my head to my toes. Not only does this say to me that the results are Yours, but the responsibility is Yours, too. It is ‘by His doing.’

I was impure, foolish, unholy, lost. Jesus Christ became my wisdom, righteousness, my sanctification, my redemption. BY HIS DOING  I am in Christ Jesus. I am so grateful.