152- I’ve Been Pushing Jesus Away
July 3, 1985
Let me delight to do Thy will, O Lord. Ps 40:8
Redpath** p 91 When a Christian begins to count upon His presence, to reckon upon His victory, and to draw upon His power, it is like stepping into a totally different world.
Look to Calvary, but look to the LIVING Christ on the throne also.
Draw on that infinite heavenly power from Him every moment of every day—discover that the Christ who died for us is indeed CHRIST WHO IS OUR LIFE.
p, 105 So long as we think we can do life alone, the omnipotent resources of God in Jesus Christ our Risen Lord cannot help us.
Revelation: while personally appropriating all of this—confessing any sin the Holy Spirit brought to mind—I realized I have been pushing Jesus away because I feel I have gotten so far from deserving His love. That He could be drawing me closer when I’m so unworthy, so ‘nothing’ –so unspiritual–doesn’t make sense. I asked Him to speak to me about this, and then I thought of what I would say to Timmy or any of my sons if he ever said he didn’t deserve my love. I would say: “My love for you is much greater than what you do or don’t do. I’m working for what you are becoming. You have grown up so much since last year. Just stay with me, obey me, listen, follow me, learn—and I’ll lead you. My love for you is so so deep and strong. I carried you, I gave birth to you, I’ve suffered and sacrificed and died for you.”
I feel restored to My Love, Jesus. There has been a misunderstanding between us—a lie. I understand a little bit, why my own parents have kept loving me through thick and thin.
**Victorious Christian Living, 1955