161- Notice me!
November 3, 1985
Dan went to church taking Stevie and Mark.
I stayed home with Timmy and Daniel who had runny noses and sore throats.
I began to resent Dan being so well respected, enjoying another ‘feeding’ of the Word of God when for weeks I have been in the church nursery or been home with sick kids.
I’ve also been thinking about people who are oozing love and joy when their personal circumstances stink or their health is broken, or their hearts are broken.
Why not me oozing love and joy?
God spoke to me clearly—you still want glory for yourself. You’re jealous of your husband’s time away, his position of honor within the church. You don’t want to stand beside or behind him—you want to be in front. Also with ME (not verbatim remembering): You still want glory for yourself or at least lots of attention regarding your ‘difficult’ circumstances. You want everyone to know you are sacrificing. The flesh is alive and well, Georgann.
I repented and I was IMMEDIATELY release of bitterness and heaviness. wow
YET, later with JoAnn, I made sure she knew something of my sacrifices! Groan!!
Lord, I prayed later, release me to be a child whose life exemplifies Christ’s acceptance of Your will and His trust in Your leading.