165- Fred Said to Plant a Church

November 16 1985

Streams in the Desert, devotional, today shook me up:

Rev 12:11 They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and they loved not their lives unto death.

I had just been reading the mail with Dan, and we were especially impacted by a New Tribes Mission newsletter regarding some missionaries captured by natives in Columbia and how they were doing after their release.

To open my devotional to this verse about martyrdom gave me quite a shake. In all honesty and confidence, I have felt for a long time that we would be with New Tribes and that our boys would go to a mission school.

Correlated to that possibility: Dan was able to talk to Fred W our district supervisor. He said he is praying this verse for us:

Colossians 1:9-11

For this reason also, since the day we heard of it, we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding—so that you may walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience, joyously giving thanks to the Father.

Fred did not suggest going to Bible School at all, but promoted evangelism and church planting. He suggested we pray and see what the Lord might do. He spoke of going to a city to start a church, getting a job to support the family, and then meeting people and evangelizing them.

[This is an example of a person having a vision or a goal that he wants to fit you into. We could have taken it as confirmation of what our Pastor had said, because he said the same thing. But we had been praying diligently and walking with the Lord through this for years, and we knew it was not what God had put on our hearts. He had put Bible School on our hearts and we respectfully stuck with that.]

164- Confessed, Repented, and Received!

November 11, 1985

I fasted, except for two cups of bouillon, coming to God several times today.

Dan was home last night and ½ of today. Nice to have him here, but he is antsy to be working.

In my prayer time I felt so superficial, so under condemnation, and convicted of selfishness and impatience.

Also—another person in our church has hepatitis. Dan is very concerned. Both of the men (and one’s wife) that are stricken have health insurance and solid jobs. Dan is without any health insurance and between jobs.

I surrendered and prayed for everyone’s health and asked God to speak to me, inspire and instruct me. Baby woke up several times at night, and I feel like God used that, too, to keep me praying.

It occurred to me clearly that I’m to be a praising person—because the Bible says to, because Jesus is worthy of my praises, because He inhabits the praises of His people.

And we need His presence.

If I could, by His wonderful grace, become a praising person, my mind would be filled up with Him instead of with both self-deprecating and self-exalting thoughts.

I confessed not liking myself, realizing clearly deep in my Spirit that He made me—He formed me in my mother’s womb; He fashioned me, He’s had His hand on my life. Psalm 139:13a, 16b

I confessed speaking ill of the boys. When Timmy over heard me saying: “I got to go shopping without them” he said, “don’t you like to take us shopping? Is it easier without us?” I was crushed that I had confused my dear son. What an insult to speak that negative thing as if they were not there. See my need, Lord? Help! I am so sorry.

I need an attitude overhaul. I need to be filled with Jesus, overflowing with His Spirit.

By giving it to God and spilling it all out before Him, I feel encouraged!

November 14

I feel that because I confessed and repented of not liking myself and speaking rashly –that I got filled up! Now it’s Thursday and I have been so full of the presence of God since Monday and Tuesday…

It’s wonderful. At times I’m free and joyful, but mostly I’m warm, near tears, aware of God’s presence. You meet the broken-hearted, sweet Jesus!

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 38:18 NIV

163- God is Greater Than Me

163-God is Greater Than Me

November 8, 1985

The house began to be messy yesterday and continued today, seeming hopeless.

I started fretting, then looked up and read Timmy’s Sunday School mobile which hangs over my head in the schoolroom.

How to be Happy: Noah obeyed God

Noah trusted God

Noah thanked God

So listen, obey, then flow, trust, believe, praise—and leave the results to God.

Interesting, it says nothing about keeping clutter in your house organized and that will bring happiness.

From the boys’ book: The Braggy King of Babylon, about King Nebuchadnezzar:

“You must learn that your God is much greater than you.” (You will be like a beast till the day that you do.)

I felt convicted of not putting God up high enough. Sometimes I feel like a beast! He must be the one I worship and give my attention to.

November 9

I prayed on the phone with my friend Joyce and she had some words of encouragement for me –

*that I needed to be open to hear afresh from the Lord

*that I need to pray about breaking my own strongholds in my mind

*that there will be newness and freshness and variety coming (not monotony)

*she exhorted me to put on the helmet of salvation, to protect my mind

*she asked if I prayed in the Spirit during the day

This goes along with keeping my eyes on Jesus and exalting Him always. These are some specific things that I can do.