176- Mark says…

December 9, 1985 – 4:30am

Quote from Tolstoy’s story of ‘The Cobbler’s Visitor’–

“Your despair comes because you wish to live for your own happiness. Read the gospels: there you will see how God would have you live.”

So, I am reading the gospel of Mark.

1:8 He wants me to be baptized with the Holy Spirit

1:9 He believes in water baptism

1:15 He wants me to repent (turn from not believing) and believe (put my trust in) the gospel

1:17 He wants me to be a fisher of men. He will make me one if I come with Him.

1:2 He wants me to take authority over unclean spirits (“do the works that I do”)

1:35 He went early to a lonely place to pray. I am to go early and alone to pray.

2:5,6 Jesus wants faith from me, not Pharisaical reasoning.

I put my trust in You for time to work on Timmy’s reading, the chores, the needed Christmas gifts—my reason tells me it is too much, but I put my trust in You.

2:17 Jesus went to the sick, those who knew they needed Him.

I am trying to minister to people who do not need me. Saw this last week. Send me to a sick person, Lord.

Father, it just occurred to me that at church I do not feel valued. I am not asked to participate. I am not called to pray nor is my opinion asked, by my fellows in leadership. It is as if I am of no value to them and that they do not respect me or my spirituality. They are ‘significant others’ to me, consequently I am hurt deeply. I put this at Your feet. Help it not to matter, or change me, please.

How can I learn from this? How can I help my sons and my husband to feel valued. This I lay at Your feet also.