214 – Praise Looses Chains

October 3, 1986

I had a wonderful experience of “…our God inhabits the praises of His people…” (a phrase referring to Psalm 22:3)

Burdened, frustrated, overwhelmed and it was only mid-day. I went for a walk in the wind and rain and praised God determinedly and kept praising Him and acknowledging how merciful and compassionate He was. The darkness and the heaviness lifted.

I found myself hearing and welcoming some fun and creative homeschool ideas. You are wonderful and fantastic, Lord!

At home I turned some Christian music up LOUD and kept praising Him.

At home group that night I felt Dan and I were able to minister together.

Later I remembered the song by the Imperials (1979) called Praise the Lord:

“Now Satan is a liar and he wants to make us think
That we are paupers when he knows himself we’re children of the King.
So lift up the mighty shield of faith for the battle must be won,
We know that Jesus Christ has risen so the work’s already done.

Praise the Lord, for the chains that seem to bind you–

serve only to remind you–

that they drop powerless behind you–

when you praise Him.”

213 – Narrow, Then Steeper

October 3, 1986

It was so easy to follow You when I was a new Christian. Walking on the narrow road was such a blessed experience in comparison to the wide and wicked one I had been trodding. For a time, I felt so loved, almost pampered, by You. Seeking You had few distractions. I was set determinedly to please You, know You, and be abandoned to Your will.

Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it. Matthew 7:13-14

But the way, 12 years later, has become much steeper. Each day is an Everest. I am so emotional and impatient with myself, I have been saying—“could this be the way? Surely my Lord could not expect this of His darling daughter.”

The circumstances seem to be beyond my ability to cope. The self-control needed becomes so painful to exert. Gently, I am praying—let me act gently, lovingly with my sons, my husband, and my friends. Make my feet like *hinds’ feet for these high places. Give me opportunity and the heart for prayer time with You. My Lord and My God. Thy Will Be Done.

*referring to Hinds’ Feet on High Places, by Hannah Hurnard–an allegory about Much Afraid on her journey through the Christian life with its perils, challenges and trials. The way is sometimes treacherous but she is transformed as she pursues her goal to know Him and to reach the High Places of Faith. I could identify with her timidity and tentativeness.

212 – More on His Love

September 28, 1986

The Lord is showing me AGAIN that my heaviness, which is a result of analyzing myself and introspection, is putrid. I should spend my thoughts on praising and worshiping HIM. Everything else will take proper perspective and those around me will be encouraged.

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Psalm 150:6

Praise God for forgiveness, for the cross, for the blood shed for me, for Dan, Tim, Stevie, Markie, and Daniel….

September 29

I took a walk on the Livonia Central school grounds. Sweet communion with God. Read Philippians chapter 2 in the Phillips’ version:

Live together in harmony, live together in love, as though you had only one mind and one spirit between you.

Never act from motives of rivalry or personal vanity, but in humility think more of each other than you do of yourselves….

Do all you have to do without grumbling or arguing….

Don’t worry over anything whatever, tell God every detail of your needs in earnest and thankful prayer…and peace will keep and guard you.

211 ~ God is Speaking to Me about His Love

211 – God is Speaking to Me about His Love

September 25, 1986

But the fruit of the Spirit is love… Galatians 2:20

I surrender to that love. Let me be a carrier of Your love! I cannot fashion it, fabricate it, duplicate it. It is unique to You. It flows from Your life in me as I worship You and praise You and seek You.

Oswald Chambers*: The springs of love are not in us…The springs of love are in the Holy Ghost.

Thank You for Oswald, Lord. He is one of my heroes. He tells it like it is. I love it when I can understand what he is saying! I understand this.

He continues: It is absurd to look for the love of God in our hearts naturally, it is only there when it has been shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit.

Romans 5:5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5

You are my new best friend, Holy Spirit. Please shed love and keep shedding love into my heart.

*My Utmost for His Highest, page 121.

210 ~ It’s All About Jesus

210 – It’s All About Jesus

Sept 21, 1986

Dan keeps getting from Chapel and other services at school (like Weekend of Prayer), how MUCH Jesus loves us and WANTS to have fellowship with us. I want to know that, too, Lord.

This ministered to me this morning! [yes, it’s out of order, but this is the way it flowed for me that day]

Hebrews 12:1-7,11 in the Bible’s words and my words:

*Think about Jesus, and the hostility from sinners against Himself so that I do not grow weary in my walk and give up!

*Fix my eyes on Jesus, remembering that He is the beginning of my faith and the One who will perfect it!

*He endured because there was great joy awaiting Him in heaven.

*He despised the shame but He is now in glory and receiving glory for His steadfast work of obedience.

*Jesus is my example and there are many witnesses watching, rooting for me, cheering me on!

*Lay aside encumbrances, hangups.

*Forsake the sin that trips me up.

*R-u-n the race with Him, aware of His nearness!

*Remember how much Jesus went through.

*Remember God disciplines those He loves.

*Remember discipline is good for me, just as correction is good for my children.

*Discipline is sorrowful at the time it is happening, but righteousness comes from it.

HOW DOES THIS WORK, Lord?– keep finding strength in the Lord, keep on straight paths, pursue peace, keep bitterness at bay, don’t get yourself in the rejection mode, Georgann!

209 ~ I Was Afraid is No Excuse!

209 – ‘I Was Afraid’ is No Excuse!

September 20, 1986

Matthew 25 contains the parable of the talents:

The servant says: Lord, I knew you to be a hard man…and I was afraid, and went and hid your talent…. 24-25

For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have in abundance…. 29

I see this means that God has given each of us talents to use for His purposes and His glory, but fear and self-consciousness, mixed in with laziness and distractibility wreak havoc on good His plans.

Oswald Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest, p 111, says: ‘Never say, I can’t. Never let limitation or natural ability come in. If we have received the Holy Spirit, God expects the work of the Holy Spirit to be manifested in us!’

My prayer:

Holy Spirit, Your conviction is so penetrating. I am undone, humbled. There is no argument, no self-justification of inability which can stand against You and Your call.

You have been raising my self-esteem (actually, my identity of who I am in Christ) so that I could receive this word today. You have been working Your word and Your presence into me, so that my self-esteem is tied with you and who YOU ARE and not who I am.

Impart, I ask in Jesus’ name, the WISDOM I need, the LOVE I need, the PEACE I need.

I rebuke FEAR in Jesus’ name.

I am seeing that most of the fear is an excuse from my lazy nature—’if I cover myself with fear, surely He’ll see and not ask any more of me because I am already so overloaded!’ Deceitful heart—be quiet!!

208 ~ Glorious Times

208 – Glorious Times

September 20, 1986

Yesterday God called me apart!

I walked at noon toward the school but then turned and walked up the hill and into a field of waist-high wildflowers: yellow and purple. Bordering the field on one end were deciduous trees of every changing color. On my left, a quaint old red-brown farm house. I stood in the rain under my little blue Japanese umbrella and read Galatians in my Phillip’s pocket Bible. I had been needy, crying out to God. Through Galatians he reaffirmed:

* do not hold man’s approval in high regard—only God’s approval

*you are not under the law but under grace

* your righteousness is not of the law by your good deeds, but by faith in Jesus Christ

* walk in faith

It was a glorious time.

Dan wanted me to go to Elim to the prayer meeting. So I did. I’m often hesitant to go out on my own, especially driving the country roads at night.

As I drove on campus to the meeting, Tracey Belcastro had just pulled in. We walked together and sat together with her husband and interceded together and talked afterwards. She is a person I have been wanting to know. We have agreed to be prayer partners. God is gracious.

God lifted me through worship and then blessed me with a new release of my prayer language in intercessory prayer. He is so precious.

On Friday, God touched me in an interesting way: In my prayers before the home school meeting, feeling desperate for peace in place of anxiety, I felt a sensation on my head just back from my hairline moving from the right temple area, across to the left. Hmmmm. At the meeting I was freer to be me than I have been in ages—with no second thoughts or deep introspection. Praise Jesus.

207 ~ Be Selfish or Serve Others

207 – Be Selfish or Serve Others

September 6, 1986

I have become so disgusted with myself—and while repenting and broken I came upon the book by Charles Swindoll, Improving Your Serve-The Art of Unselfish Living.

I have been here before, and I am here again. Self-centered.

I’m too concerned with ME, my shower, my letters home, my Bible study, my nerves, my image, my mouth—and I have been becoming angry over so much waiting, my imperfection, kids’ imperfection, etc. Unwilling to make the real sacrifices like getting up early and working harder on having a cheerful heart.

But Lord help me to be more willing to die to myself and to be a servant. Like my husband. But especially like You. Dan is looking to You, looking to serve You. I want to, too.

Matthew 20: 25a, 28 But Jesus called them to Himself, and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them… just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”

1 Peter 5:2a Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, serving as overseers, not by compulsion but willingly…

Thank You that You give me attitude adjustments and do not leave me to myself. There is ALWAYS hope in Christ my Lord.

206 ~ Release and Cleansing

206 – Release and Cleansing

Sept 1, 1986

This is rewritten from a long entry in my journal:

Last week I had asked Dan to pray that if God had something to show me He would. Then yesterday at church at Elim, Brother Edwards, the president of the school, spoke of the spiritual renewal he had received over the summer break. He believed that because of it, today there will be an anointing for liberation from bondage to sin and from past crippling memories.

The Lord brought to mind some incidents in my life as a young child that made me feel dirty every time I thought of them. I joined the scores of people filing forward to the front of the church. Brother Edwards touched each one of us on the top of our head, praying as we walked by him. The prayer was a release from bondage into the wholeness of Christ.

Today in my regular devotions in Leviticus 18, I read about specific awful sins and how sin has the inevitable result of cutting us off from the people we love, and from the Lord. And yet God has made provision through the blood of Jesus for our cleansing our consciences from dead works to full restoration to Him.

Hebrews 8:12 For I will be merciful to their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.

Hebrews 9:13 For if the blood of goats and bulls and the ashes of a heifer, sprinkling those who have been defiled, sanctify for the cleansing of the flesh, how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without blemish to God, cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God.

Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God

205 ~ Sweets and Prayers and Horses with Hairy Angles

205 – Sweets and Prayers

and Horses with Hairy Ankles

August 13, 1986

The boys missed the party and movie over at the school today. It was the culmination of the summer program which the three oldest boys had participated in–crafts and indoor and outdoor activities. I just wasn’t excited about them going and told Dan that.

They accepted our ‘no’ beautifully. Praise God. We decided to have our own party of popcorn, peanut butter cookies, and a piece of candy. We walked along Big Tree Street counting the trees near the road (61) not the ones in people’s yards. We visited the Pletcher’s, and came home to watch Chris for 1 ½ hours while Leslie had some business to attend to. All four boys consider him their best friend and he is kind and gracious to all of them. He’s a mature only child. Thank You for turning the boys’ hearts toward home. There will come a day when the world will look more appealing…..and I will need to let them go.

August 14

Yesterday I overdosed on sugar. The after affects were the usual:

-self-hate

-anxiety, irritability

-craving for more

-slight headache

The adverse side-effects always get me back on the no sugar wagon–at least for a while!! I’ve got to make a big clean break.

August 15

Yesterday, Thursday, at 10am Daniel wanted to be held, he was very fussy. I decided to sit in the rocker and hold him and pray. He fell asleep and took an early nap, but I was able to intercede for a while. I had no idea for whom I was praying, but I just asked God to intervene.

Today I got a letter from Jan, written last week, that Kyle was having surgery at noon on Thursday–but then I got a call from Janet and she said Kyle had the surgery at 10am our time!! and that it had been a great success. WOW!

AND I GOT TO PARTICIPATE FROM 3000 MILES AWAY!

I trusted You and went to the Clydesdale exhibit with the neighbors. I didn’t really want to go, but the kids did. My kids were so patient and uncomplaining. Julie’s were awful and complaining loudly. Embarrassingly so.

The next day she came over to ask what I used to spank them with and about the chores the kids do!!