342 – God’s Word for Me

February 15 Wednesday

I went to church, intent on going up for prayer for spotting and expecting a word of prophecy through Joyce. Deborah and I sought her out after church. Before I started sharing, she asked if I was pregnant. I didn’t answer her because I did not know the answer. I asked for her to pray and ask the Lord for a word for me.

Deborah tried to keep up with Joyce’s words and wrote this down:

Depth in you, Georgann, magnitude, that has gone on that human words cannot describe. Only the Spirit can interpret the things I have for you.

This night you kneel before me in purity.

I receive you as one who is pure, holy, set apart.

He has seen my limitations, shortcomings and what I have wrestled with, and the times I fell down before Him and chose Him.

It will be easy to hear the things that cause your heart to skip, but these things come from the depth of what has gone on between us in groanings.

Bring forth in quietness and bring forth in subtlety.

Blessed be the Lord who has looked upon me.

What is going on in your body is as a passing vapor.

Don’t be distracted from Me by it. From this day forward whatever you see in your body you are to know you are held tightly in my arms. I have plans for you—a future and a hope. Bring your body to me as a living sacrifice. Let me wash you. Follow my instructions.

He wants me to ask—What should I do?

I remember that Joyce was extremely tired to the point of exhaustion this night, and yet she said she sensed the Spirit of the Lord. She said that this was the Lord—she was too tired to have said it in her own strength. She asked: did it even make sense?

This word was long and very personal to me. The Lord was validating our relationship, confirming that He saw every struggle and every surrender of mine. He recognized a depth in me, He heard my groanings–my questions and my “mournful sounds of grief.” He saw me as a pure vessel. He did not want me to be distracted from Him by the baby vision. I believe He wanted to keep me in the place of mystery so I could learn lessons in trusting Him and not leaning on my own understanding. Follow My instructions meant he was holding me tightly and that He had plans for me, and that He would lead me through this step by step.

There was not the specific answer to my inner question: am I pregnant or will I become pregnant? But God’s ways are high above our ways.

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

so is My word that goes out from My mouth: It will not return to Me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. Isaiah 55:9-11 NIV

[I added capital letters for references to God to the NIV translation]

341 – Our Ministry Goals

February 13, 1989

I came across our newsletter, which we sent out to our friends and family. From the letter, which is a review of our last few months in order to catch everyone up:

As we crossed the country, our little motorhome performed flawlessly, only needing one tire, and that was provided without cost to us. We had to stop twice for Dan to work and earn enough money to go on and God provided wonderful friends to work for and with.

Grace was ours to live in a 120 sq. ft. house on wheels without ever feeling like “I gotta get out of here.” And our new home is a wonderful refuge, just what Georgann had been praying for–in a wooded place where the boys can play out of city dangers. We live in a complex that used to be a convent and now is a Christian high school that rents out apartments on a floor that is not used for classrooms. It’s been very confirming to us just how our faithful Father has worked all this out. We feel confirmed that we belong here and built up in our faith to proceed.

When we first got here in SF we dove right into the Japanese community to find out all we could, attended some interesting Japanese Christmas parties at the Japanese Cultural Center, and hung around Japantown finding more Japanese than we expected who are ‘fresh off the boat’ so to speak, rather than American born. There is very little being done to evangelize among the Japanese, especially considering their numbers. I have walked through Japantown praying the streets and have rediscovered the ferocious entrenchment of opposition in the spiritual realm which surrounds Japanese culture, an entrenchment which can also be very aggressive and dark.

We are praying for strategy as we begin our outreach to the Japanese.

340 – New Friends

February 3, 1989

Bill and Linda, she goes to our church, invited us to dinner. Linda is an on-fire new Christian, Bill is watching, discerning us all. He and Dan and the boys engaged in baseball talk. Dan isn’t really into baseball, but Bill is very knowledgeable and Dan and the boys are all very genuinely interested.

Linda is very supportive of me as a Mom, prayed for me to know I am doing a good job without me getting proud; prayed the boys would have more time away from us in fun activities, asked God to anoint me to teach them and love them, and to be a witness to many women. She offered to babysit so Dan and I could go on a date.

February 4

Reiko came to our apartment for a visit, one hour. She is delightful. She gave us many insights into the Japanese people. Is she a Christian?

Duane and Akiko invited us all over. We received more insights into Japanese culture, had great fellowship, and a wonderful prayer time together. The boys had a late night last night and were all asleep by 7:15.

339 – Here’s My Heart, Lord

February 2, 1989 Bridgemont, SF

God led me to Proverbs 2 and I began to cry out for wisdom, insight, and understanding.

My son, if you accept my words
    and store up my commands within you,
²turning your ear to wisdom
    and applying your heart to understanding—
³indeed, if you call out for insight
    and cry aloud for understanding,
⁴and if you look for it as for silver
    and search for it as for hidden treasure,
⁵then you will understand the fear of the Lord
    and find the knowledge of God.
⁶For the Lord gives wisdom;
    from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
⁷He holds success in store for the upright,
    he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,
⁸for he guards the course of the just
    and protects the way of his faithful ones.

I laid out before the Lord all the pondering and the full awareness of my deceitful heart and my ability in the flesh to go on with this for 3 ½ years—but that MY TRUE DESIRES were to become pregnant. I remember well the Spirit’s prayer through me years ago: that He would use us to speak out against abortion in whatever way He chose. I felt it was very bold, very Spirit; but the Spirit was moving and it was easy to step into it—and I meant it with all my heart.

I am putting my trust in God for giving me wisdom and insight, reducing the stress in my life by speaking to me a yea or nay about this, for speaking my heart to Dan as soon as possible.

It was well and good to desire a pregnancy, even at my age, 43. The challenge was that Dan had had a vasectomy after our fourth son was born. I knew God could over-ride the surgeon’s handiwork. No doubts whatsoever. But I didn’t want my will to be done. If it truly was a God-thing, I wanted Dan to be on board and so determined to talk to him about it, again. Over the years I have learned, God doesn’t mock our wildest, craziest dreams. He is right there with us as we walk it out.

338 – New Digs

338 –New Digs

January 28, 1989 Bridgemont, SF

The blessings of this new apartment:

*We have access to a phone (downstairs).

*It is Japanese size (we are identifying with Japanese living).

*The boys are in their sleeping bags taking turns on the floor and the two couches. They love it! It feels like more adventure!

*$450 rent rather than $750 (this also includes all utilities).

*We have a Japanese neighbor.

*There is a missionary to Japan down the hall!

*The Red Room on the main floor of this wing is available for our use for entertaining and for the boys to play in!

*We have access to the indoor swimming pool.

*We will be able to have fellowship with our neighbors; the previous apartment had its own entrance and was isolated, and very dark.

*This deal may include the room and bathroom across the hall, which would answer our prayer for guest accommodations.

We were invited to be on staff at the SF Foursquare church. Praying about it. Our pastor, Mike Woodman, has spoken with Pastor Dave. We were asked to be the Missions Coordinators which includes having a care group and meetings with Mike and Joyce.

February 1

As we were beginning our day, Dan mentioned that his friend, Delmus, was born to his mother at age 53.

Also as I was looking in my concordance, the word PREGNANT electrified on the page and jumped out at me.

337 – Nighttime Fears

January 27, 1989 Bridgemont, San Francisco

Yesterday the news was that there was a strange person on the grounds.

The day before that it was that a person desperately needing a place to spend the night.

Then last night a lady’s screaming woke us up. Fear gripped me as I lay awake…and then guilt at not helping any of them.

This morning I was disappointed and angry at myself, and still fearful.

But God’s Word totally erased all of it. There is power in the Word.

Luke 10:18-19 He replied, “I saw Satan fall like lightening from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions, and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. Hallelujah!

I happily went alone on my morning prayer walk with the Lord.

Trial: Apprehension about our new apartment. We are moving today and sleeping in the other apartment tonight. Dan, bless his heart, cleaned the stove, the fridge, and fixed the gas leak. Our bed will be in the bathroom. Weird. This old building is strange. Very strange. We cleaned, we thanked God that we are inside for the winter.

January 28

We moved everything in two hours and had the old apartment cleaned. The boys were a tremendous help. We got them to bed (after a Mexican treat) and GRACE came like a flood. This is the Lord’s blessing for us, and we love it.

Later: There is not enough space, even for our very meager possessions. There are a few cupboards in the kitchen but we have no dressers. So we set our eyes on the seen rather than the unseen, and trust the Lord.

We went to Babu’s and Asceda’s for lunch.

336 – The Spring of Living Water is My Lord

January 17, 1989 Bridgemont, SF

Jeremiah 17:13 …the Lord, the spring of living water…

Jeremiah 2:13 …Me, the spring of living water…

John 4:10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked Him and He would have given you living water.

John 7:37-38 (Jesus) …If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. Whoever believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within. By this He meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were later to receive.

My Lord Jesus, You who are LIVING WATER, rejuvenate me according to Your generous Word. I’m so glad to know You.

I read recently that as we sing praises, it is like taking a drink of living water, and we are refreshed.

335 – A Hope-filled Word

January 8, 1989 Sunday morning, after Sunday School – at San Francisco Foursquare Church

Before church (before the previous post) I suggested to Dan that we load up the laundry, fix a snack for the kids, and expect God to provide for us to do the laundry. We also prayed he would provide lunch and dinner.

After Sunday School, Joyce (the pastor’s wife) came over to me—Georgann, do you and Dan need food or money?!! (She was going out with her family and the guest speaker, Dick Mills, for lunch.) She gave us the key to their house, told us what foods we could eat in the fridge, and said to feel free to eat whatever was in the cupboards. She encouraged us to do our laundry because they would be gone for a few hours. She wrote out the directions–they live in a house in Daly City!

GOD USED HER AGAIN! You are amazing, God!

Then during the main service when Dick Mills asked Pastor Mike and Joyce who needed a word, she chose us first!

This was the Word of the Lord to us:

As the tide goes out, the tide comes in. There will be compensation for the last three years of trials and testing. There will be 3 years of relief for the trauma, there will be TERRIFIC, there will be equal time.

Wow! We are blessed at how much Jesus loves us. He acknowledged that we had been living on the edge! He affirmed us. He gave us hope for relief.

334 – A Comforting Word with a Kind Correction

Dear Reader – I last posted 6 weeks ago. I’m back and will resume our stories. Thanks for reading my blog. Love your comments! ~g

334 – A Comforting Word with a Kind Correction

January 8, 1989 Sunday School

A wonderful teaching from the pastor’s wife, Joyce Woodman, from Philippians 4, which I felt was directly aimed at me by the Holy Spirit, and which I will embrace immediately:

*Because we want men to think well of us we want to broadcast what we’ve done and boast about ourselves. She suggests we keep it with Jesus. We are to keep the ‘spoiled brat’ (the flesh) in harness. I need to consistently put everything onto Christ who strengthens me.

*The more I am crying out to Him, the more I am leaning on Him, the more I see my weaknesses and give them over to Him, He will impart His strength. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

*Worry is hoping things will turn out a certain way, but instead PRAISE—PUT EVERYTHING INTO PRAISE.

*He wants me to be liberated from myself. Trials push me to the feet of Jesus. The key to making this work is rejoicing and praising = my part.

*Have an attitude of receiving: NOT ‘oh, you shouldn’t have’ or ‘oh, I hate to be the one who is always receiving.’

*Gifts are to be received as a “fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God.”

Thank You, Jesus, for this very basic truth that will be life changing as I practice walking in it.

I remember several months ago in Livonia, when we were given the motor home, the owner told me that my response to the gift was to be a gracious THANK YOU, and not my words: “This is too much, it’s too hard to accept this kindness.”

I’m getting it, Jesus….