369 – Spirit Evidences

August 21, 1989 San Francisco

Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow, it judges the thoughts and intents of the heart.

In the morning we went to a prayer meeting for the Mario Murillo Crusade. We got prayer for Tim’s jaw to move again so he could eat! We met Kenny, brought him home for lunch. Then Dan and Stevie passed crusade posters, saw a fight in a restaurant. Big news for the brothers.

In the evening we got the same front seats at the crusade. The boys were attentive, clapped tonight for every song. Praise the Lord!

The Spirit fell. Came over me—for my tongue being a sword!

There was expectation for tomorrow night’s meeting being one of miracles for the lame and the sick. [I am sorry that I have no report about it in my journal!]

August 23

Read Hebrews chapters 6-9

I sense a cleansing, and a new beginning. In my mind’s eye I see everything in me and in my life as pure white as snow. Step by step with my High Priest, my Intercessor, will I walk today, leaving behind the OLD and wrapped up in new life, encouraged, hopeful, pressing on, filled with the Holy Ghost.

I fully relinquish critical spirit as part of my personality. It is no longer! If it should come near I will by faith rebuke it. I will be content with what I have knowing my God is in control. I will receive wisdom as I cry out for it today, regarding ways of honoring my husband and loving and dealing with our children. I expect God’s provision in all areas. Amen and Hallelujah!

368 – Fix My Eyes on Jesus

368 – Fix My Eyes on Faithful Jesus

August 20, 1989 San Francisco

God’s ways are HIGH above my ways. He has the right to do AS He pleases, WHEN He pleases in my life—and in all other’s lives.

Hebrews 1:3 Jesus is the exact representation of God and did only what the Father instructed Him to do.

Hebrews 3

v1 -Jesus is so superior to Moses

-we are to fix our eyes on Him

-we are to confess Jesus

-Jesus was faithful to God, the One who appointed Him

-God is the builder of everything

v6 -Christ is faithful as a son over God’s house

-and WE ARE HIS HOUSE IF WE HOLD ON TO OUR COURAGE AND HOPE OF WHICH WE BOAST. We must persevere.

-Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your heart

v 12 -an unbelieving heart is sinful and means you are turning away from the living God

-sin is deceitful, encourage each other daily

-we have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first

-unbelief keeps us from God’s rest

AWESOME LORD!

367 – A Party, Abacas Class, a Crusade

367 A Party, Abacas class,

a Crusade

August 19, 1989 San Francisco

I had asked God to encourage me and He did, by counting my blessings: Timmy can read! Stevie can read! Both read very WELL!! Markie is diligent and interested. I received the Alpha Omega homeschool diagnostic test. It is not fearsome. I will make my order for fall.

Daniel is a bright and loving boy since several weeks ago—summer with no school stress!

God has allowed me to see my heart. I am ecstatic and He is helping me greatly!

Later: We went to Nana and Mike Watanabe’s home in Half Moon Bay for Jojo’s birthday. Great fun for all.

Nana has invited us to her abacus class for all the boys for free! They will use borrowed abacus’es (?). There will be a testing and booklets fee. May God give our boys the strong deslire to learn and the ability.

Later, we went to the Japanese church, the 19^th Avenue Baptist church.

And then to the Mario Murillo crusade. We sat in the front on the right side. The boys were all totally attentive and had excellent attitudes. We were there 6-9 pm. Tim’s jaw healing has begun!

366 – Me Better Than Them?

365 Me Better than Them?

August 17,1989 San Francisco

If I think I am better than someone, I can justify being rude, bossy, naggy, impatient, angry; and I am condescending and have low expectations for them. I just want them to be good so I can be accommodated and do MY thing, because of course MY part is the important part.

It makes for superficial relationships because all I want really is to keep coming away looking good to support the ‘truth’ that I am better. I become very controlling and they (people under me) have to make it so I look good.

[This is so true and when the Spirit showed me truths like this I was always convicted. Just heard a variation of the same conviction recently (2019). He keeps going deeper and deeper to the very root of the issue.]

Later: I took Akiko and Duane, our down the hall neighbors (she does not drive) to the emergency room for Duane’s knee. I had done this a month ago, taking all of the boys with me. We were so late in returning that I missed the home school meeting. So I listened to a tape Karen sent: How to Encourage Yourself in the Lord. I must stay surrendered and on top of my emotions.

365 – He Brings It All Into the Light

365 – He Brings It All

Into the Light

August 15, 1989 San Francisco

1 Corinthians 4:5…He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart…

v 7 who makes you different from anyone else? what do you have that you did not receive? and if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?

I feel You are speaking to me, but I need the revelation of the Spirit to understand and to make this specific.

About 15 minutes later, He was specific. In the shower the Lord said through me: “I am not better than my children in God’s eyes.”

The Light dawned. With great joy I kept saying it over and over!

Because…if I think I am better than somebody, I do not mind being rude to him. I do not mind ruling over him or sinning by being uncharitable.

I am crying out for wisdom as to how to become a different person through Christ’s help.

Proverbs 16:21 The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction.

23 A wise man’s heart guides his mouth

24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones

32 Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.

364 – He is Amazing

364 He is Amazing

August 14, continued

Hebrews 1:10 and all of chapter 2

He laid the foundations of the earth in the beginning; He made the heavens; they will all wear out like a garment, but Jesus will remain, His years will never end; Jesus’ salvation act was confirmed by people who were there and by signs wonders, miracles, gifts of the Holy Spirit, which God did; God put everything under Jesus’ feet; there is nothing that is not subject to Him (although we do not see everything subject to Him now); but we see Jesus crowned with glory and honor because He suffered death (for everyone);Jesus was made perfect through suffering; He calls us His brothers; God has given us to Jesus; Jesus by His death destroyed him who had the power of death—the devil. Jesus freed those who were held in slavery by fear of death; Jesus was made like us in every way so He could become a merciful and faithful high priest and so He might atone for our sins; because Jesus suffered when He was tempted, He can help us in temptation.

I am looking at all of my fears that seem so real and foreboding. The Bible tells me who You really are, Jesus, and that who You are casts out fear. Let it be done, I pray. Thank You!

362 – Shook Up

This earthquake was not the big one but it was coming

August 8, 1989 San Francisco

Earthquake! 1:15am, and aftershock. At 9am another earthquake. We went to Auntie Yvonne’s and Grandma Fern’s motel, just to be away from this building.

Dan says this building, Bridgemont, is like the buildings in the Armenian earthquake we saw videos of recently. It is made of reinforced concrete, poured in 1935 and not structurally sound. In a big quake the floors would collapse on top of each other. There are four stories and we are lodged on number two.

We want to move as soon as possible. Anywhere! The only hangup I see is that we need to be where we can home school without stress and trouble. California and Nevada would work.

August 9

We got a letter from the McNeals that is so exciting because they are doing the STUFF of the gospel in Kenya!! Seeing Jesus work MIRACLES!

Last spring, Elim wanted us to go to Hong Kong and pass Bibles and Dan would teach Bible studies. Sounding real good now!

August 10

There has been so much stress because of the earthquakes. At church, I worshiped and fervently sought the Lord, then went forward for prayer. I asked the Lord for a word of wisdom. During the pastor’s message, the Lord said to me:

You can pray for the boys and gently teach them, but you cannot make their arms embrace Jesus or their heads bow to Him.

We read yesterday in Treasures of the Snow, Grandmother encouraged Annette: “you are going to look after little children…they won’t always be good with you. Often you will feel cross and impatient and bad tempered. But the love of Jesus is long suffering and kind; ask Him to meet those cross, bad-tempered thoughts with His love and you’ll find they will leave….If your heart is full of love, there won’t be room for discontent.” pages 236-237

Love suffereth long and is kind; love envieth not;

love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up. 1 Corinthians 13:4

363 – Who Is This Jesus

363 Who is This Jesus?

August 13, 1989 San Francisco

Let the awareness of Your love enter my heart, Jesus. Let the reality of Your love for me, my family, the world, enter my heart.

Hebrews 1:1-9 my take:

Jesus is God’s heir; God made the universe through Him; He is the radiance of God’s glory; He is the exact representation of the Father; He sustains all things by His powerful Word—and isn’t that how He sustains me?!! He provided purification for sins; He sat down at God’s right hand; He became superior to the angels; the angels worship Him by God’s command; His throne will last forever and ever; righteousness is His scepter; He hates wickedness; He has been set up by God over His companions by being anointed by God with the oil of joy.

Through reading Treasures of the Snow the Lord has told me to read about Jesus and keep my heart full of His love. But I felt first God needed to remind me of who Jesus is before I read about what He has done in the gospels.

August 14, 1989

Friends from Reno came for three Giants-Dodgers games. We ate together and swam in their motel pool. They came to church with us in the morning and to part of the evening service. Such an encouragement to have faithful friends. Thank You, Jesus.

361 – Moving Out of Conceit

361 Moving Out of Conceit

August 7, 1989, continued

Give me verses, Jesus, of what my attitude SHOULD BE:

Jeremiah 44:10 humble myself and show reverence to God

Romans 12:3 Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

4-8 use the gifts He has given

9 love must be sincere

10 be devoted to one another in brotherly love; honor one another above yourselves

14 bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse

16 live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud but be willing to associate with people of low position.

And… do not be conceited!

Galatians 5:26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying one another.

Philippians 2:3-5 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather in humility value others better than yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.

1 Peter 5:5b All of you clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

1 Peter 3:8 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.

360 – Treasures of the Snow

360 Treasures of the Snow

August 7, 1989 San Francisco

We had two vacation days. We kept our home our base and slept there, but spent the days at the beach in Half Moon Bay and the evenings having a fire and cookout at the Cliff House beach. The boys found a boogie board. The string was gone so it had been discarded. Fun for four boys!

Psalm 8:2 From the lips of children and infants You have ordained praise because of Your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger.

How God Works: We have been reading Treasures of the Snow, loaned by Kathy Reed. Wonderful. Tonight my heart was pierced.

Grandmother says, “Annette, learn to forgive and be kind, and stop thinking yourself better than other people.” “I don’t.” “You do, or you would not find it so difficult to forgive them….When Jesus with His great love and forgiveness comes into our hearts there just isn’t room for unkindness and selfishness and unforgiving thoughts. They go like darkness when the sun shines in.”

“And there is something else besides unkindness that the love of Jesus casts out.

1 John 4:18-19 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear; because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us.”

“Every day of your life ugly, angry, selfish thoughts will knock at the door and try to get in. Don’t try to push them back yourself; ask the Lord Jesus to meet them with His love. Think about the love of Jesus all you can. Read about the love of Jesus everyday in your Bible, and if you keep your heart full of it there just won’t be room for those thoughts to stay.”

“Read carefully all the story of the life of Jesus and think a great deal about the way that He loved, and remember that it’s that same love that came into your heart when you asked the Lord Jesus to come in.”

I’m already afraid I’ll fail at loving and being kind and unselfish. And I am afraid of letting go of pleasing myself. Giving this to Jesus.

Treasures of the Snow, Patricia M. St. John, pages 176-178, 189.