379 – Not Alone

September 10, 1989 San Francisco

We all went to the Crusade after church and did not get home and to sleep till after midnight.

We decided to skip a wedding in Reno and stay through the week to finish out the Mario Murillo Crusade.

September 14 – Thursday

I was awake early. Discouraged. Lonely. On my morning walk I prayed for Jesus’ agape love to come to me. As I went into the courtyard to read my Bible, I had a sensation someone was already there, waiting. Glanced quickly to my bench against the wall, and had the split second perception of Jesus sitting there waiting for me. Oh, I needed to have You be here, Jesus. Thank You, precious Lord.

I asked what would be good for me to read. John 18 came to my mind. Wow, perfect. Jesus was betrayed by Judas, Peter, and the Jews. He was separated from His disciples in His time of great need. (I have not been betrayed, praise God, but the rest applied.)

He said to Peter— v 11“Put your sword away!! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?”

The cup came from the Father.

⁴³An angel from heaven appeared to Him and strengthened Him.

⁴⁴and being in anguish He prayed more earnestly and His sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.

I accept my cup, Lord.

I accept your strengthening.

I will pray more earnestly.

I will not use the sword, which for me stands for weapons of the flesh—reacting out of fear and anger. I will not be an angry person, I will not react in fear! I put them away!

Jesus, you are covering me, and will continue, but I need to change.