157- Bee Stings and Milking Barns

157- Bee Stings and

Milking Barns

September 25, 1985

The circumstances of this day were intense.

*My goal was to go to Jenny’s house at 10.

*My goal also was getting some home schooling done for Tim, starting about 9:15.

*I slept in till 7am. First mistake!

*While on the phone with a strong personality, Daniel cut his lip with his teeth by falling in the bathroom. I hung up two times to tend to him.

*Joyce called at 10 to check on answered prayer. I was supposed to be at Jenny’s so I told her I would call her another time.

*Immediately after I hung up Bev appeared at the door! I began fixing a snack for everyone and tea for us (I decided to just give in and enjoy this friend), and Jackie called!

*Then Dan came home! He encouraged me to go to my friend’s, and we got to Jenny’s at 11:15.

*For some excitement the boys stirred up a bees nest and 3 of the seven boys got two stings each! It was scary but we were so grateful for just a few stings, and that the babies did not get stung.

*We came home for a quick lunch, the boys rested, then it was time for the milking barns field trip!

*Dan kept Daniel. It was a wonderful trip.

*At 5:30 Dan called and had received tickets for the Silverwind concert from the airplane friend. [no grudge there!]

*Dan picked up a friend’s daughter to babysit.

*We praised God that His wonderful grace had met us at every step of this crazy day!

*The boys loved Kathy, the sitter, and she loved them.

*We got to praise our God loudly and wonderfully long-ly!               I praised Him for LIFE! I got to release my thanks for sparing us catastrophe! Bless You, God!

To God belongs escapes from death. Psalm 68:20

156- An Amazing Testimony

156- An Amazing Testimony!

September 24, 1985

Last night our friend Lanny called at 7:00, inviting us to go on an airplane ride the next morning. He had his plane up for sale, and it had surprisingly sold earlier than expected, hence the short notice of taking us on a promised ride. My first reaction: what a wonderful experience. My second reaction: Keith Green’s disastrous experience popped into my brain with –a premonition? a warning?

Also Lanny said, “It will be a tight squeeze but we can get everyone in.”

Dan’s first reaction when he got home and I told him: DANGER. He left us eating dinner and went into the other room and prayed for 15 minutes. He called Lanny and felt better. He agreed to 7:30 breakfast and plane trip.

I called Joyce for prayer. It was 8:30 pm. I wondered if I should disturb Jenny. I asked God to have her call me if He wanted me to ask for her prayers. Joe (her husband) called immediately! –to talk to Dan, and then I talked to Jenny.

The next morning God and the baby woke me up at 4:30am. I fumbled around till the thought of the plane ride came to my mind—I was immediately wide awake and praying in the living room. The dream I had two years ago—that Dan died and I was left with a baby boy named Dan, came to my mind. I though and prayed—and I felt like God’s grace met me!! PEACE.

Debated as to weather or not to tell Dan the dream.

Crawled back into bed. Decided to tell Dan the dream at 7. We were due at their house at 7:30 for breakfast. Dan prayed and called and said “no” to the ride. We still went for breakfast.

Stevie cried—disappointed.

Lanny was hurt and upset, but trying to be a good sport. He’d already been to work and had had a terrible start to the day.

As soon as we sat down to eat our eggs—A KEITH GREEN SONG CAME ON THE RADIO!!  Keith Green was a wonderful and very famous Christian musician and singer who overloaded a private plane and crashed with two of his children and another family. All eleven passengers died.

When I got home I picked up an old devotional which I had found last week and one of the boys had carried into the kitchen. I opened to today’s dateActs 16:7 After they had come to Mysia, they tried to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit did not permit them.

This was one of those awesome confirmations of why walking close to Jesus is so important! I love how the entire experience flowed and how real the Holy Spirit was throughout.

This event only caused a slight disruption in our relationship with our friend.

155- The Peace of Acceptance

155-The Peace of Acceptance

Sept 21, 1985

This peace of acceptance is so precious. The grace of God has met me here. I have accepted Dan’s job hours, the stress, his preoccupation with the building even while at home. I have accepted my long hours with my sons and am enjoying them. I have accepted that we may not have a family vacation to the redwoods and the ocean, that I may not get to go to the Pastors’ Conference again this year. I have accepted caring for Dan’s grandmother, Dan’s lack of nice clothes, the boys’ high water pants. There is a ton of grace and joy on me. I love it. I love God. I have seen wonderful self control, by the Spirit of God, answers to intercession. WONDERFUL GOD! PLEASE HELP ME NOT TO BOAST BUT TO BE QUIET AND CONFIDENT IN YOU!

1 Corinthians 15:10 (but I labored even more than all of them) yet not I but the grace of God with me.

That’s how I feel. Someone, something, is working in me, living through me. Who I am right now is so unlike who I really am. I am so joyful, so persevering , so at peace with God and my husband—it must be God in me! Bless You!

Daddy’s making goofy faces to get us to laugh. It worked. (Notice the thick gold shag carpet.)

 

154- Summer Leads to Fall

154- Summer Leads to Fall…

July 1985

Our July calendar was full. I went to a home school curriculum fair with Carol and Janet and was getting together with other friends who were also interested in teaching their children. For Steve’s birthday we had a kite flying party at Rancho with 5 of his friends and their moms. Our church family met at the church property for a barbecue and to watch the fireworks and another day we all met at Lake Tahoe for sunning and swimming.

Dan and I are enjoying a 4-couple group that meets for dinner and games and lots of laughs once a month!

Mark & Tim perched in the middle of the river on a great big rock!

Dan declared a whole day off! We ate breakfast at Bob’s Big Boy at 8am, drove to the Feather River Canyon and the boys played in the river. We had dinner and ice cream cones on the way home and we all fell into bed about 10.

Daniel’s not too sure, but Steve’s happy enough for both of them.

 

 

August 17, 1985

Gen 22:24 I am impressed by the servant’s prayers. He is not saying, “oh, Lord, bless ME, give ME.…” He is asking: “give me success today by showing kindness to my master, Abraham.”  It seems a small item, but God has been impressing on me, just as I begin to pray for something for myself, to pray it instead for someone else. Such as a nice vacation for Jenny this week, nice complexions for her children  Also I am impressed to pray for Dan more respectfully.

September 16

I have been reading my Bible but not writing in my journal. Dan’s work on Life Center Church building should finally drop off this week. Soon he will need another job. He has been working 65-75 hours a week. We have all felt the strain. I have been able to go to Joyce’s prayer meetings about six times this summer while Dan has watched the kids. Home school is going okay. Have higher hopes. House is fairly organized. Meals good –I’m a fifties cook, taking after my mom. Trying to be more consistent with discipline. Trying to spend time alone with each boy.

Spiritually I am focusing on Christ’s righteousness.

153- Praying Loud and Long!

153- Praying Loud and Long!

July 8, 1985

Pastor Dave gave a great message yesterday on Preparing for Entering into our Promised Land:

         ~keep defining your purpose,

         ~keep it fresh,

         ~keep facing it in faith.

Today my purpose was to get Mark and Daniel their much overdue shots.

Everyone slept till 8 except Steve. He woke up early and had a 30 minute crying spell! I wavered–should I still try to go?

NO–I will not waver! My purpose was so firm, I was determined. 

EVERYTHING WORKED OUT BEAUTIFULLY. We found out once we go there that Steve needed a shot and a polio booster, too. Didn’t tell him. He was first and didn’t even flinch!

Steve and Mark stayed with Dan at the property. Did wonderfully!

Tim and Daniel went with me to SaknSave—did wonderfully!

Miraculous—everyone’s attitude was great!

What Steve’s mysterious fussing pushed me to was long and desperate prayer. Plus I prayed aloud all the way to the Health Dept and then all the way to the store.

Last night we met Dan at the property. We were late, rushed. I prayed loud, long, desperately. It went SO WELL. I even took 9 of the kids on a hike (that’s NOT me!) and organized them for frisbee and catch. JOYFULLY!

Later: I had read an article discussing following God with your whole heart. Which included:

Jeremiah 29:13 And you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.

So I prayed with my whole heart.

Also I’ve been thinking about: If you want to be great in God’s kingdom, learn to be the servant of all.

I prayed accordingly and got my opportunity tonight night with all 4 boys fussing at one point! Dan was at church at the elders’ meeting. He and I got to bed at 11:30, then Dan was up 1:30 and then at 3:00 with boys. I took over till 4:30. We all slept till 6:30 then I walked ½ hour.

Rather than getting mad, rather than trying to sneak away if they seemed settled, only to have to get up again, I prayed for Jesus’ servant heart. I became content, kind, ministered, prayed. I woke up relatively rested and in a good mood! Miracle.

152- I’ve Been Pushing Jesus Away

152- I’ve Been Pushing Jesus Away

July 3, 1985

Let me delight to do Thy will, O Lord. Ps 40:8

Redpath** p 91 When a Christian begins to count upon His presence, to reckon upon His victory, and to draw upon His power, it is like stepping into a totally different world.

Look to Calvary, but look to the LIVING Christ on the throne also.

Draw on that infinite heavenly power from Him every moment of every day—discover that the Christ who died for us is indeed CHRIST WHO IS OUR LIFE.

p, 105 So long as we think we can do life alone, the omnipotent resources of God in Jesus Christ our Risen Lord cannot help us.

Revelation: while personally appropriating all of this—confessing any sin the Holy Spirit brought to mind—I realized I have been pushing Jesus away because I feel I have gotten so far from deserving His love. That He could be drawing me closer when I’m so unworthy, so ‘nothing’ –so unspiritual, doesn’t make sense. I asked Him to speak to me about this, and I thought of what I would say to Timmy or any of my sons if he ever said he didn’t deserve my love. I would say: “My love for you is much greater than what you do or don’t do. I’m working for what you are becoming. You have grown up so much since last year. Just stay with me, obey me, listen, follow me, learn—and I’ll lead you. My love for you is so so deep and strong. I carried you, I gave birth to you, I’ve suffered and sacrificed and died for you.”

I feel restored to My Love, Jesus. There has been a misunderstanding between us—a lie. I understand a little bit, why my parents keep loving me.

**Victorious Christian Living, 1955

151- God Gave Me His Perspective

151- God Gave Me His Perspective

July 2, 1985

Prayed today that I could cry tears [I don’t cry easily] over the up 6-8 times a night ordeal and really give it to God. I tried to pray tonight. What do I ask? What do I say? So I asked the Spirit to pray.

I was in the midst of getting the boys to bed on this hot summer’s night. Everyone was resisting. Daniel (age 1 ½) wanted to be walked, took his jammies off so he could cool off. Mark and Steve: “I’m scared.” Timmy wanted more water—“it’s too hot!”

By 9:20 I’m saying to myself: “they’re taking my life—my whole life!” And I hear –“no, it’s ME taking your whole life—won’t you die so I can have all of it? You are not resisting the boys only (and that makes you feel guilt enough)—you’re resisting ME, You’re Savior.”

I argue—“but what about my monthly letters home—I’m two behind– and the library book due in 3 days—I’m only halfway through it (School Can Wait); and Redpath’s book, and the ironing. I could have done all of those tonight! They’re all good things—it’s not like I’m watching dumb tv shows or gabbing on the phone. I just don’t get it!! I’ve already let go of so much.”

Redpath, p 83 (Victorious Christian Living) “Fellow Christian, do not be afraid of the knife. It is in the hand of the lover of your soul, Jesus your Savior. Whatever be the cost…let today be the place of absolute renunciation of everything that the Spirit of God reveals to you is contrary to His will.” (crabbing and having a stinky attitude are not Your will, Lord, I repent!)

        page 84 As you submit, God becomes real. Obey Him.

       page 85 Five minutes in heaven will make all of the suffering and agony real—the suffering and the agony is about the conflict and the battle to do the will of God. Until we get to heaven, God’s purpose is that we should feast on our Lord Jesus. I must enjoy Jesus in my heart before I can tell others about Him.  (I’m not enjoying You, Lord, I’m not rejoicing in all things having faith that they will settle down eventually.)

       page 86 How much time have you spent with God in quiet, opened Bible, waiting on Him?

IN THE QUIET PLACE YOUR WEAKNESS COULD HAVE ABSORBED HIS STRENGTH, your restlessness could have been stilled by His power and peace, your impatience could have absorbed the grace and long-suffering of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Thank you, Alan Redpath, for perspective on my wonderful life and Jesus’ availability.

150- Living the ‘at home mom’ Life

150- Living the ‘at home mom’ life

June 12, 1985

Walked early, unburdened myself, praised, prayed.

Had time with Tim (school), with Steve (hanging out with us), Mark (game), and Danny, snuggling and making him laugh.

Oh, it was so satisfying!                          [PICTURE OF THEM)

They water-colored, then played outside with our neighbor, Sandra.

By 1:00 I was exhausted, short-tempered. BUT I RECOVERED QUICKLY!

Five or six nights of little sleep is getting to me.

I do believe the verses from yesterday and my agreement with God over them, my disgust with myself and repentance, helped this day to be clear and abundant. Bless God.

Here we go again—God is reminding me:

Prov 16:32 He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who captures a city.

June 18

I have sinusitis or strep infection. Doc gave me amoxicillan and a decongestant. I have still been up 6-8 times a night with hot weather (the weather is HOT!) or sick boys or baby. Tired! But my attitude has been pretty good.

‘Bless me’ prayers and petitions continue.

Dan is still really ‘carrying’ the building.

We went out to dinner Friday—we both feel we may be released in the fall after the building is completed.

I see how God is helping me to be less dependent on Dan and have an easier time making decisions around the house. I am taking more responsibility and not putting it all on him, i.e., weeding, cleaning basement, arranging toys, allowances (spending, saving, tithing), home school decisions, etc. I’m complaining less and accepting Dan’s absence more, I’m happier because of the acceptance.

Psalm 57:2 I will cry to God Most High, to God who accomplishes all things for me.

149- Shouldn’t Be Under It, But I Am

149- Shouldn’t be Under It,  But I Am

June 11, 1985

Father, how do I get myself under you? I mean under your dominion!

I stay overwhelmed by the chores, children, clothes, car errands, cleaning, etc.

Then I despise myself and do nothing well.

Bless me, Father, bless me.

Why can’t I heed instruction (as in Proverbs 1) and be consistent?

Why have I become afraid of fellowship?

Because I hate myself.

Bless me, bless me, Father.

Proverbs 8:34-36

~ listen to wisdom daily

~ excitedly

~ wait for wisdom with anticipation

~ you will find life

~ you will find Jesus

~ you will get his favor

~ if you hate wisdom you love death.

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 8:34 Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my gates waiting at my doorposts, for it is he who finds life and obtains favor from the Lord.

148- He is My Refuge

148- He is My Refuge

June 7, 1985

We’ve been going to the library and getting lots of picture books each week, like 30-40! Today I had asked God to remind me to get Better Late Than Early about home schooling if it was important for me to read it. He did.

It was not in the card catalog. I went to the stacks anyway to see if it was there. All I could think of was Morris, Robert Morris. I asked God to guide me to the author and HE DID! Even though the author was actually Raymond Moore! The book I was looking for was not there BUT School Can Wait was there. God, it is so special to walk with You.

My day began nervously—over-tired from being up at least 15 times last night. Mark had a fever, Daniel is teething, Dan was sleeping heavily from yesterday’s vasectomy. I stopped to play a tape and praise You and my perspective came. Praise God.

It is so good to praise the Lord!

Tim and Steve helped me weed, Daniel was happy in the walker, Mark rested on the couch.

Psalm 62, Living Bible

I stand silently before the Lord, waiting for him to rescue me. For salvation comes from Him alone. Yes, He alone is my Rock, my rescuer, defense and fortress. Why then should I be tense with fear when troubles come?…My protection and success come from God alone. He is my refuge, a Rock where no enemy can reach me. O my people, trust him all the time. Pour out your longings before Him for He can help! verses 1,2,7,8. My Refuge, I love you!