360 – Treasures of the Snow

360 Treasures of the Snow

August 7, 1989 San Francisco

We had two vacation days. We kept our home our base and slept there, but spent the days at the beach in Half Moon Bay and the evenings having a fire and cookout at the Cliff House beach. The boys found a boogie board. The string was gone so it had been discarded. Fun for four boys!

Psalm 8:2 From the lips of children and infants You have ordained praise because of Your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger.

How God Works: We have been reading Treasures of the Snow, loaned by Kathy Reed. Wonderful. Tonight my heart was pierced.

Grandmother says, “Annette, learn to forgive and be kind, and stop thinking yourself better than other people.” “I don’t.” “You do, or you would not find it so difficult to forgive them….When Jesus with His great love and forgiveness comes into our hearts there just isn’t room for unkindness and selfishness and unforgiving thoughts. They go like darkness when the sun shines in.”

“And there is something else besides unkindness that the love of Jesus casts out.

1 John 4:18-19 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear; because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us.”

“Every day of your life ugly, angry, selfish thoughts will knock at the door and try to get in. Don’t try to push them back yourself; ask the Lord Jesus to meet them with His love. Think about the love of Jesus all you can. Read about the love of Jesus everyday in your Bible, and if you keep your heart full of it there just won’t be room for those thoughts to stay.”

“Read carefully all the story of the life of Jesus and think a great deal about the way that He loved, and remember that it’s that same love that came into your heart when you asked the Lord Jesus to come in.”

I’m already afraid I’ll fail at loving and being kind and unselfish. And I am afraid of letting go of pleasing myself. Giving this to Jesus.

Treasures of the Snow, Patricia M. St. John, pages 176-178, 189.

359 – New Friend

359 New Friend

August 4, 1989 San Francisco

I was in the Word but it did not minister to me. Confusion and doom overtook me! It was a PMS day, but I went ahead and met with a new friend, Kathy Reed. We went to Foster City in her car to a park. [Kathy and I would become great friends, sharing our homeschool ideas and our desires to have another baby. We realized we both desperately hoped someone would leave a baby on our doorsteps that would need us and fulfill our desire for more children!]

August 5 San Francisco

Yesterday was horrid. I woke up angry and awful, and I felt the Lord revealed to me that all of the fruit we have been consuming in the Fit for Life eating plan—had turned to sugar that built up in me the last two weeks and did me in!! We ran errands early and I finally ate breakfast about 9am. Eggs, cheese, wheat toast and in a few minutes I was FINE! It became a low stress weekend. So I am back to eggs and toast for breakfast. So although confusion reigned for a while yesterday, it did not win. Kathy and I had a wonderful connection.

Proverbs 4:23 above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. NIV note: If we store up good things (God’s words, wisdom, faith, hope) in our hearts, our words and actions will be goodbecause out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. Matt 12:34.

370 – Crusade Experiences

370 – Crusade Experiences

August 23, 1989 San Francisco

Sense a cleansing and a new beginning. In my mind’s eye I see everything in me and in my life as pure white as snow. Step by Step with my High Priest, My Intercessor, will I walk today, leaving behind the OLD, wrapped up in the new life and encouraged, hopeful, pressing on, filled with the Holy Ghost.

I fully relinquish a critical spirit as part of my personality. It is no longer! If it should come near I will by faith rebuke it—as with all lusts of the eye and flesh. I will be content with what I have knowing My God IS IN control. I will receive WISDOM as I cry out for it today regarding ways of honoring my husband and loving and dealing with our children. I expect God’s provision in all areas. Amen and Hallelujah!

August 25

Mario Murillo Crusade on Wed night, Dan received an infilling of the Spirit as powerful as the first laying on of hands in Reno. He received

            Do not grow weary … you will reap! Galatians 6:9

Danny Herd, who was in charge of equipment and organization, said thanks to Dan—that he wished he had ten men like Dan.

The pastor of the church was extremely grateful for Dan and the boys cleaning up each evening before the crusade.

When Dan passed out posters of the Cow Palace Crusade in Hunters Point District, he said he was well received.

Timmy and Markie went forward for the baptism of the Holy Spirit!! Markie said he almost got pushed down by the Spirit, he was swaying back and forth, but didn’t want to fall.

Tim and Markie were prayed for by Caleb Quaye and Tim also was prayed for by Pastor Stewart and Mario Murillo’s wife. Praise God. His jaw is still in place. We will see what the Lord will do.

The Holy Spirit came on me in intercession and in love.

357 Undivided Heart to Honor You

357 – Undivided Heart

   to Honor You

August 3, 1989 San Francisco

Psalm 86

        verse 1 hear me

        v 2 save me

        v 3 be merciful

        v 4 bring joy to me

            Psalm 4:7 You have filled my heart with greater joy –

                             this means You put joy in me

       v 11 teach me Your way

       v 11 GIVE ME AN UNDIVIDED HEART that I may fear your name.

           reference: Ezekiel 11:19  I will give them an UNDIVIDED HEART and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.

                   20 Then they will follow My decrees and be careful to keep my laws. They will be my people and I will be their God.

                  18 remove vile images and detestable gods

                        reference: 1 Chronicles 12:33 the men of Zebulun experienced soldiers prepared for battle with every type of weapon, to help David—with UNDIVIDED LOYALTY.

               reference: 1 Corinthians 7:34-35 But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in UNDIVIDED DEVOTION to the Lord.

Lord, remove pregnancy or every attitude about it that makes it a god in competition for my affections for You.

Lord, don’t take away my husband and children so I can be undivided in devotion to You, but bring us all into a place of unity of purpose—to please You in all things, and fulfill all of Your call for us.

356 – Into My Mind Popped…

356 Into My Mind Popped…

August 2, 1989 San Francisco

I woke up feeling unusual. Am I pregnant? Doubt pushed the thoughts away. I asked God to speak to me today about it—silently, in my heart. A very short time later, on my walk around Bridgemont campus, worshiping, fellowshipping with God, I asked God again to speak to me on this subject. Into my mind popped 1 Thessalonians 2:7 and 1 Thessalonians 5:1!

This is what they say:

1 Thessalonians 2:7 but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children.

1 Thessalonians 5:1-3 Now brothers about times and dates we do not need to write you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.

August 3

Depressed—not pregnant. Why do I want to be?

            pure: my heart has been changed by God so that it is now the desire of my heart

            truth: yet, hope deferred makes the heart grow sick

            flesh: I would be able to justify sleeping more

            pride: it would show me and others God’s favor on us

            practical: I feel it would be good for the boys to have to become more helpful, independent in the kitchen, and good for Daniel not to be the baby.

I am always surprising myself that I am so real with God and myself.

 

354 – Rejoice Instead

354 – Rejoice Instead

July 26, 1989 San Francisco

I am still obsessed with thoughts of pregnancy. I try to keep relinquishing it to the Lord. The trouble is that I know He is able to perform His will against all physical impediments. And I love miracles. And besides, every other day there is something to draw my attention to it. Today Mr. Rogers said—Oh, sometimes ladies feel wonderful when they’re pregnant, better than normal! So my mind turns that way. And I have friends who have the baby yearnings, also.

The boys had an autobiography of John Newton. Some of this is quoted, some is paraphrased.

Through ignorance and unbelief we often mistake the Lord’s dealings with us, and are ready to complain. If we knew all, we would rejoice instead! When our eye is fixed upon the Lord, we are more than conquerors over all that would withstand our progress.

Looking back, I see that mercy and goodness directed every step.

What our ignorance once called adversities and evils, were in reality blessings which we could not have done well without. Nothing befell us without a cause; no trouble came upon us sooner or pressed down more heavily or continued longer than our case required. Our many afflictions were, each in their place, among the means employed by divine grace and wisdom to bring us to the possession of that exceeding and eternal weight of glory which the Lord has prepared for His people.

Interesting. Be a rejoicing person. Be prayerful.

353 Encouragement from the Holy Spirit

353 – Encouragement from the Holy Spirit

July 17, 1989 San Francisco

Dan and I were always wondering, what’s next? Are we being effective here, is this Your will, or are we to move on?

We were attending the SF Foursquare Church and also Sunday morning Japanese Sunday School. I wrote in my journal that I heard God say during the Japanese teaching: I can earthquake you out of this place and into My will. Our part is to seek Him, cry out, praise, and REST. He will get us where we need to be. This was prophetic, because we—and everybody else—were surprised by a 6.9 earthquake three months later. And we moved!

In the grocery store, observing the throng, I realized: the devil knows whose are his own. He can put thoughts in their hearts to do evil things or think evil things. 

We are wise, cautions, praying, watching, avoiding.

I have found GRACE meeting me more and more—to be peaceful, to be wise, to receive from the Lord, to be quiet.

July 19

Helen prayed powerfully for us at church tonight. This is what I remember: The time is ticking away; we need to be involved with Japanese people. We can, better than born-again Japanese Christians, reach certain people for Christ. She prayed that lies and weaknesses and insecurities would be bound and that we would go forth into the relationships the Lord has for us with Japanese people.

Mary exhorted us that only arrogance and pride will refuse to accept Christ’s death as atonement for ANY sin. She gave us Exodus 14The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. Look up!

Deborah encouraged me that the Lord would provide a Japanese housewife to speak for me, that God’s language is agape (love). Agape would be my language and to not worry about it. Dan will learn it and the boys will catch it, and I am not to worry

352 – Comfortable Routines

                                                        352 – Comfortable Routines

April 18 1989 San Francisco

I looked around at our very little living room approvingly after breakfast this morning. We like it here, at Bridgemont, in this little apartment. It’s comfortable, we have routines. I’m walking every day, Dan can do his drafting in the room down the hall. The boys can run down to the Red Room and play and not bother anyone, the pool is always available, though a bit of a hike. Neighbors come and go, meaning they move in and move out fairly often, but there’s a good feeling among us and camaraderie happens easily when new tenants arrive. 

Again, we began seriously to call on Jesus for success in our attitude and perseverance about home school. As a result, the kids are more cooperative and less complaining, and I am more organized and patient, and more confident that they are really learning something.

But my hope, my fulfillment, my satisfaction, are in Christ my Lord. For me to live successfully, peacefully, fulfilled, is all Christ. If I slide in my persistent seeking of Him and skip my Bible reading, my focus shifts and I’m in agitation and insecurities.

My journal notes are Bible verses and notes, enough to keep me going, but nothing stunning to write here about. I was re-reading Hannah Whitall Smith’s book, The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life. We had many good friends from church and we were very busy with home group, potlucks, following Giants and A’s baseball games with Bill.

We went to Reno for the wedding of one of Dan’s friends. We had overnight guests.

 There is no diary of other family activities  until July 6.

July 6

Last night after church the car would not start. Deborah and Cathy walked home from church and we took the bus. A bit of adventure doing it at night! We arrived home at 10:40pm. The boys were not able to attend a friend’s overnight backyard campout. They were very good sports about it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

349 – Lots of Encouragement

349 – Lots of Encouragement

April 2, 1989 Sunday

I went forward for prayer for homeschool—that I could be Christ-like in it. We were instructed by Joyce to let God speak to us on the issue we had brought forth. I am not always trusting  to do this, but took a risk and said, “okay, God—please speak!” In rapid succession, these verses popped into my mind:

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me; My grace is sufficient for thee–for My strength is made perfect in weakness; whether you turn to the right or to the left, you will hear a voice behind you saying this is the way, walk in it.*

WOW He spoke completely by His Word!

I confided to Joyce that I had been up and down on this issue many times. She said very emphatically, “That sounds like doubt.” And it was.

Before the night meeting started, Joyce said she had prayed about our homeschooling (it was still something that few people did in 1989, and not everyone believed it was a good idea), and she felt the Lord had said: “The boys are at home because the constant change of friends and schools would end up being too traumatic over time. So He’s covering the bases.”

Dan prayed for a man who was a newcomer, and then the man prayed for Dan. He prayed that Dan would bring in the harvest, many souls, that we would go overseas, that our whole family would be involved in bringing people to the Lord. PRAISE GOD! The man himself was surprised at his own prayer! Dan wept.

Thank You for all of the encouragement, Lord.

*Philippians 4:13; 2 Corinthians 12:9; Isaiah 30:21.

331 – My Yearnings for Orphans

331 – My Yearnings for Orphans

December 14 Daly City, trailer park

We had a slower start than we had intended because we got up at 7 instead of 5am.

In my Bible reading, I got Luke 2:12 This will be a sign to you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.

I keep thinking of GG’s dream that there were seven of us in our family and she didn’t have enough beds for us all.

I keep thinking of orphans and widows, dreams and yearnings. 

I keep thinking about also thought of the 40 Sri Lankan orphans that the pastor adopted, and Lillian Trasher’s Egyptian orphans.

Since last Christmas it seems very clear that the Lord is working in me the heart preparation for me to have a baby in my life once again. Thy will be done, Lord.

James 1:27 Religion that our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Matthew 25:36 I needed clothes and you clothed Me, I was sick and you looked after Me, I was in prison and you came to visit Me.

Deuteronomy 14:29 Bring tithes…produce…for Levites and aliens—that the fatherless and widows who live in your towns may come and eat and be satisfied, so that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hands.

Psalm 146:9 The Lord watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow but He frustrates the ways of the wicked.

Isaiah 1:17 Learn to do right, seek justice, encourage the oppressed, defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.

We called our friend Jan in the evening. She commiserated and will call people to pray for us!