221 – Exhorted to Live in His Presence

221 – Exhorted to Live in His Presence

October 15, 1986

I see that the only way we can be gracious and go with the flow is to have come through our  experiences and stressful times being in continual companionship with Jesus.

I got to go to early morning chapel on campus yesterday. It was wonderful and God was present and moving.

Brother Edwards spoke of seeing the Lord’s presence manifested and His manifest presence. I forget which is which.

But as I read in Acts 2 this morning:

22 Jesus the Nazarene, a man attested to you by God with miracles and wonders and signs which God performed through Him in your midst.

25 “For David says of Him, ‘I SAW THE LORD ALWAYS IN MY PRESENCE; FOR HE IS AT MY RIGHT HAND, SO THAT I WILL NOT BE SHAKEN.”

26 ‘THEREFORE [being in His Presence] MY HEART WAS GLAD AND MY TONGUE EXULTED; MOREOVER MY FLESH ALSO WILL LIVE IN HOPE;

28 ‘YOU HAVE MADE KNOWN TO ME THE WAYS OF LIFE; YOU WILL MAKE ME FULL OF GLADNESS WITH YOUR PRESENCE.’

O Lord, My God. In your presence I will not be shaken. In Your presence my heart is glad and I have hope. In Your presence we fellowship and I am full of gladness. I love gladness!

220 – Official End of Pity Party

220 – Official End of Pity Party

October 14, 1986

Father – I’m supposed to ‘forget not His benefits’ (Psalm 103:2) AND I DID FORGET! And I stayed in self pity longer than I should have. When I see it I need to jump right out into counting my blessings and His benefits.

I’m remembering that on SATURDAY all four boys played nicely with David in the morning and he stayed for lunch. Then after he went home and Daniel napped, I got to read Open Heart, Open Home, by Karen Mains for two hours. The other boys played so well together …Oh what a blessing!

On SUNDAY, we had a wonderful morning of worship and teaching at Elim and then a wonderful picnic and fellowship time with the Tarpins and McAloons. Thank You.

On MONDAY, Tracey Belcastro came over and we did her washing. I was able to give her some food and we talked and prayed uninterruptedly for almost 2 hours. Two boys went to Chris Pletcher’s and two boys napped.

MONDAY night Skiffs came to dinner. Sue helped me get it together while Dave (a barber in his former life before he became a student) cut the boys hair!! Praise God.

LET ME FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE PLEASE! LET ME PRAY THROUGH EVERYTHING AND REARRANGE WHAT I CAN IN THE TIGHT SPOTS!!

One thing I see is that the first hours of the day all the boys want to be together with me. Perhaps we could have a really loving and friendly time, playing games, reading our books, till 10 when we have snack. Then try for math and then reading after lunch when Daniel’s in bed.

The book, Open Heart, Open Home is having a wonderful affect on me. I walked all of the kids to the library on Tuesday and let Leah and Nicole stay for lunch (usually I am too stingy to share our food, rationalizing that our income is meager and we need it for ourselves). ALL the neighborhood kids were here ALL afternoon. I let them inside for drinks, mediated their squabbles, played with them a bit, checked on them, talked to them—God is working through this book! Praise Jesus!

AND to top it all off, Janet and Jackie called from Reno! And Pastor Dave called also!

I call an official end to the Pity Party.

*Open Heart, Open Home, by Karen Mains, 1976.

219 – Pity Party

219 – Pity Party

October 14, 1986  -early Tuesday morning, day off school

All I see is their faults and mine – noisy gongs and clanging symbols.

What will God do to revive our love??

I see that I am closed to accepting help. In many ways I am trying to do it all myself.

Relax, Georgann, let loose. Let the Body of Believers, work.

I cannot see God as Big Enough to orchestrate my kids going with other kids (although no one has asked but Leslie, who invited them to a worldly movie (groan)).

And so I carry this burden of bringing up four boys alone day after day.

My desire is that Dan be more available.

But do I just need to let go and let God get more involved? — and ask for some relief?

Actually—Vivian (new neighbor who moved into Josie’s part of our house) babysits every Tuesday night and Angela babysits every Friday night.

Chris Pletcher, age 13, comes over and plays GI Joes and runs around with them outside with them once a week and Nicole comes and helps with Daniel once in a while, too.

It’s just a pity party… giant groan….

217 – Through the Holy Spirit, Like Jesus

217 – Through the Holy Spirit, Like Jesus

October 8, 1986

Thinking of my heaviness, harshness, at times.

Praying, pleading, for positive attitude.

Having just finished Isaiah and begun Jeremiah last night, reflecting on the fact that God so often seems negative, terrible, full of laws and penalties, unyielding, even mean—we’re a lot like that, aren’t we, Father?

But then came Jesus and the New Testament—the new covenant.

THAT IS WHERE I WANT TO LIVE.

How can I? I ask myself – and I hear:

by the power of the Holy Spirit like Jesus did!!

Then Jesus, being filled with the Holy Spirit… Luke 4:1

How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him. Acts 10:38

I choose Your abundant life, Jesus Christ. You are my Lord, Jesus. Let me serve You today. Let me serve my children with kindness in the fullness of Your Spirit.

204 ~ A Continual Choice

204 – A Continual Choice

July 25, 1986

Our new friend Leslie came over and talked some more. Her deceased husband was a troubled soul, she said. She and her son are devastated. May You guard my mouth at all times by giving me wisdom and discernment, Lord!

I called the Superintendent’s office and got him! I had been stressed about our appointment and yet had not hesitated to cancel it yesterday when Leslie sat in my living room. I explained to him the last-minute cancellation. He sounded compassionate. But he also seemed stern and businesslike.

July 30

Depression and fear have been hovering around me because it feels like the Superintendent holds power over me!

I realized on my walk that I can embrace God and walk with Him or I can choose an anxious and negative attitude and darkness.

Today I will meet with the Superintendent at 9am.

I have been reading daily in Exodus. Then on Sunday at church I was convicted of not being in the Word enough, so I decided to read daily in the New Testament as well.

This morning I was dumbfounded when I read:

1 Peter:13 Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority…

 15 for such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men.

Romans 13:1 Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.

These verses enabled me to be humble and submissive during the important meeting, not defensive and afraid. I will trust that You will use this man and his position for the best course we are to take.

Lord, that was amazing that I got those three verses on this exact day without having any other purpose but to hear Your voice. Amazing!

Thank You for reminding me of Your viewpoint about the world’s structure and my place in it! Thank You that I am able to hear you speak and by Your grace follow Your leading!

Mr. Deloria wants Tim and Steve tested at the school to determine their proficiency in reading and math. Then he will decide if the boys will be placed in school or if our methods are working and they can continue with home education. I am a little rattled, I admit.

203 ~ A Tragic Interruption in Life

203 ~ A Tragic Interruption in Life

July 24, 1986

For months I had been worried about what the requirements would be to homeschool in Livonia. And yesterday when I met the lady who had been taken to court regarding homeschooling, I had been shocked and very concerned. Her personality was very outgoing and bold. My goal in homeschooling has always been to quietly do my thing and not attract any undue attention. I hoped her assertive personality and trouble with the public school system would not have a negative effect on my situation.

I had made an appointment with the superintendent of schools to present my case for teaching the boys at home. I had decided to tell him that we were expecting to be missionary candidates and we would be probably teaching our children overseas.

The appointment was today.

I prayed in the Spirit almost my entire 35 minute walk.

And then I found out that Leslie’s husband committed suicide last night. And everything stopped.

Leslie came over to talk.

I cancelled my appointment.

I thanked God for moving us here so we could be available for Leslie, for Leslie’s son being best friends with my sons, for the times we had visited in the past couple of weeks so that we had built a relationship of friendship and trust. I mostly listened. I had no idea if this man had made his peace with God so I could not broach that subject. She appreciated a listening ear.

Death is a tragic interruption in life.

199- Asking God for Help

199 – Asking God for Help

July 15, 1986

Exodus 16:4 The Lord said to Moses, Behold, I will rain bread from heaven for you; and the people shall go out and gather a day’s portion every day, that I may test them, whether or not they will walk in my instruction.

I was encouraged in reading about God providing for the Israelites…so I asked God for an invitation out to dinner because I needed one more meal in the week’s menu.

Janet came by unexpectedly with a bag of groceries that will carry us through this week and into next, saying, “the Lord told me– as I was walking through the store asking Him who could use this, and this, and this—that YOU could!”  Janet has been such a faithful friend to us!

July 16

Exodus 17:1-7  [The story of water coming from the rock—after Moses took the people’s complaints to God.]

This story led me to something in my life: the three younger boys would be satisfied to play here at home, I think. But Tim is restless and wants friends his age and more things to do.

So – I bring this complaint to You, Lord.

I have no ideas, no car, no money, no friends to call on. How can I help my son?

And I rebuke fear.

Exodus 17:8-16 [The story Moses interceding for the people during the battle with the Amalekites.]

I will intercede on Tim’s behalf. I will pray about this. 

Many times, just like this, the Bible is my guide. I write down a verse or many verses while I am reading. Often God ‘speaks’ to me and answers my questions and gives me advice. It’s pretty amazing… It’s a relationship that is built day by day.

Little did I know that within a few weeks, Tim would be a first grade student at the elementary school across the field. It wasn’t my choice, but it answered my prayers. Did the Lord lead me to intercede for Timmy so that I would be a bit more prepared for what was going to be happening. I wouldn’t be surprised.

198 – Really Praying!

198 – Really Praying!

July 9, 1986

Since I have been REALLY praying about homeschooling—GOD PLEASE MAKE THIS WORK OR ELSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO—it is going VERY well. I mean, VERY VERY well!

Also, I have been praising Him more and more for what He HAS done already in the past and HAS done already in the future that I get to step into.

My countenance is changing into a more joyful and positive one. Also, I have been a better disciplinarian of the boys. More aware of what to do and not so double minded.

July 12

From the basement Dan brought up a huge old piece of furniture that we are putting all of the homeschool books on. Perfect!

July 13

Yesterday I faced that I really love to sleep, confessed my self-centeredness, and asked God from there, from square one, to give me His motivation to pray early. HE DID!

Honesty with the Lord is the best policy. I need to just talk to Him. Just be real. Tell him the truth all the time: this is what’s going on in me, Lord! It seems to me that the Holy Spirit is the One who helps me be honest and not act like there is nothing going on.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9

The Holy Spirit knows it

My Lord knows my heart. As I lean into Him talk to Him about everything, then trust Him fully–and pray hard–He will always be my strength and my song!

“Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid; for the LORD GOD is my strength and song, And He has become my salvation.” Isaiah 12:2

197 – Let Them Go?

197 – Let Them Go?

July 3, 1986

But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. Romans 8:11-12

My spirit wants to be free of the bondage of the flesh. My spirit wants to get up EARLY, be loving, teach my children the Word of God and the ways of Jesus Christ, honor my husband.

But my flesh is strongly advancing its own causes: sleep, more rest, say what’s in front of my brain without control, be bossy, be controlling….

July 4

I heard again, Let my people go, that they may serve Me. Exodus 9:1

Is this You, Lord, talking about me letting the boys go to public school??? I feel greatly concerned about this. I know I am not meeting my high expectations of homeschooling, but to let them go into the world?…..

I met Stevie’s Vacation Bible School teacher and she is involved in court proceedings over homeschooling her children! THAT is NOT interesting to me AT ALL.

But to let them go???

Last night Dan and I let Timmy and Stevie go with Mrs. West, our next door neighbor, to see fireworks at her cottage at the lake. They left at 8:45 in the evening and returned at 11:15pm.

Once I had FINALLY made the decision that YES they could go, God gave me TOTAL peace. Getting past the vain imaginations and fears was HORRIBLE!!

Is there more letting go, Lord? Prepare my heart!

196 -Beware!

196 –  Beware!

 

June 27, 1986

You, therefore, beloved, since you know this beforehand, BEWARE lest you also fall from your own steadfastness, being led away with the error of the wicked, but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 3:17

For this past month I have been reading my Bible but not writing in my journal. I have been walking in our neighborhood almost daily and praying.

I have been reading in 2 Peter and the insights about being aware of wicked men SEEM to be about a person we met here—the FIRST person we met here.  He is a retired school teacher. He has been over often, giving gifts, being too friendly. Yesterday morning I had a good talk with God on my walk and asked for information about child molesters and JUST HAPPENED later that day to make my first visit to the Livonia library. And there on the front desk was a pamphlet: Protect Your Children.

After lunch I set Timmy, Stevie, Mark down for school and we had health.

I was quite frank and open and used this man as an example of someone we do not know well who might be crude or nasty and for them to be careful. Tim, 7, and Steve, 6, understood, but I am not sure about how well Markie, age 4, understood.

Mr. XX was here 1 ½ hours in the morning and two or three hours in the afternoon. 

I believe this is the man You were warning me about last month. I will be on the alert.

I have asked God to render this man powerless over me and Dan and the boys. I felt I was to start talking about God to him. Then we went to a Camp Meeting last night at Elim and the message was on “let the redeemed of the Lord say so!” We are to speak about our redemption. Our WORDS are life and valuable.

Praise God for the precious work of the Holy Spirit.

By the way the boys have responded well to our discussion. I feel we all feel closer to each other. You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free!

I had read Exodus 1 this morning and it told how God BLESSED the midwives for obeying and honoring Him and not killing the boy babies. I shared this with the boys –that to honor God brings us blessings even if someone else tells us to do the wrong thing.

We were vigilant. God was faithful. I thank Him today for the warning. The man was our neighbor. He brought huge pumpkins for the boys which was OK, and wanted to take them for rides on his tractor. NO.