310 – Walking by Faith, Day by Day

310 – Walking by Faith,

Day by Day

August 4, 1988

My life is a constant death to self. WHAT? I shouts my flesh! OH NO! But then I must say to my Lord: Thy will be done! Have another baby? WHAT?? Thy will be done! Go back to Reno? Thy will be done.

August 5

When I asked Paulette, who with her husband and 3 children had set off early this year for 3 months in their van on a similar type of excursion, “What are we in for as we take off in the motor home by faith that God is leading us we know not where?” Her answer was: “Fun, desperation, and answered prayer!”

August 6

Today I said – OH LORD! I NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU! But how can I hear you in Leviticus? So I went to Larry Lea’s book on prayer. In praying Jehovah-Jireh it says: God has ordained your success and one of the references is Deut 28:1-4 I was not consciously thinking of anything for me, only worshipping and praying, but this is what I read—this is what my God let me to!!

If you will fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all His commands I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth. All these blessings will come upon you and accompany you if you obey the Lord your God: You will be blessed in the city and in the country. [regarding our traveling!!] THE FRUIT OF YOUR WOMB WILL BE BLESSED, and the crop of your land and the young of your livestock, the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks. [regarding the baby vision!!]

August 8

After the kids were in bed, just as I was about to bring up the subject of the baby vision—Dan said: we’ll do well with the Calvert (homeschool materials) because we’ll have to do a certain number of pages a day and it will be very disciplined, and WE WON’T HAVE A BABY! So I launched into my thoughts about babies, everything that had been on my mind (the possibility of me getting pregnant or whatever else God has in mind). He was a bit shaken but a while later at bedtime he said: IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL.

Leviticus 9:2-3 After Aaron atoned for the people’s sin FIRE came out from the presence of the Lord and consumed the burnt offering. The people shouted for joy and fell face down.

Your glory must be so awesome, Lord!

Marsha (my sister) called—I was honest and told her the boys had prayed for me today. I have been nervous about our going out from here by faith. She told me about David (her son) and the 450 Mormon missionaries who are all SELF-supported going out all over the world.

296 – More Baby Speculations

296 – More Baby Thinking

July 1, 1988

My mom had a dream that I arrived at their house HUGE. She said it looked like I had three big balloons in my tummy. In the dream I said, “Oh these are our three little girls. We are having triplets!” She said, “But Dan had a vasectomy, and we don’t have room in our house for seven children!”

She said I was VERY happy in the dream.

Paulette believes that the triplet dream means a three-fold ministry with children—that it is spiritual not physical. I believe it is physical because mom said, “We don’t have room for seven.” I BELIEVE THAT IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH US HAVING MORE CHILDREN.

July 4

There was a pillar of cloud in the sky this morning, and I felt like the Spirit was saying: “Don’t doubt God’s power.”

July 5

Abraham was 86 years old when Ishmael was born. When Abraham was 99 years old , God appeared to him.

Something in me resists a pregnancy. I feel it would be embarrassing because of my promiscuous lifestyle in the past and that it would cause people to question my integrity because Dan has had a vasectomy. I lay it down.

Not my will but Thine be done. Luke 22:42b

The note in my NIV Bible on Genesis 15:17 says that God ministered to Abraham’s need for assurance.

LORD, WOULD YOU MINISTER TO MY NEED FOR ASSURANCE?

Maybe this is Him ministering to me…Lord are you saying:

Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘will I really have a child now that I am old?’ Is anything too hard for the Lord?…. Genesis 18:13

This is so outlandish and speculative, and yet I feel an excitement about bearing more children—and no fear. Lord, when I have heard from You (like when the sheriff brought the subpoena and You spoke to me) I have peace and not fear.