206 ~ Release and Cleansing

206 – Release and Cleansing

Sept 1, 1986

This is rewritten from a long entry in my journal:

Last week I had asked Dan to pray that if God had something to show me He would. Then yesterday at church at Elim, Brother Edwards, the president of the school, spoke of the spiritual renewal he had received over the summer break. He believed that on this day there was an anointing for liberation from bondage to sin and from past crippling memories.

The Lord brought to mind some incidents in my life as a young child that made me feel dirty every time I thought of them. I joined the scores of people filing forward to the front of the church. The prayer was a release from bondage into the wholeness of Christ.

Today in my regular devotions in Leviticus 18, I read about specific awful sins and how sin has the inevitable result of cutting us off from the people we love, and from the Lord.

Hebrews 8:12 For I will be merciful to their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.

Hebrews 9:13 For if the blood of goats and bulls and the ashes of a heifer, sprinkling those who have been defiled, sanctify for the cleansing of the flesh, how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without blemish to God, cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God. 

Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God

Now all gifts, blessings, fruits, life, fullness of the Spirit I receive from my God, from the Holy Spirit. I receive this revelation of the Word and feel spiritually prepared for the class I am beginning tomorrow night on campus. I receive release from illness and courage to lead these boys into relationship with Christ and into the rest of their lives.

My extended devotional time took place between 2-3:30 while Daniel was napping and TSM were at the neighbors. Dan came home at 4:30. I got to go out on errands till 6, so I got a real break today—Thank You, Jesus!

205 ~ Sweets and Prayers and Horses with Hairy Angles

205 – Sweets and Prayers

and Horses with Hairy Ankles

August 13, 1986

The boys missed the party and movie over at the school . It was the culmination of the summer program and I just wasn’t excited about them going and told Dan that.

They accepted our ‘no’ beautifully. Praise God. We decided to have our own party of popcorn, peanut butter cookies, and a piece of candy. We walked along Big Tree Street counting the trees near the road (61) not the ones in people’s yards.. We visited the Pletcher’s, and came home to watch Chris for 1 ½ hours while Leslie had some business to attend to. All four boys consider him their best friend and he is kind and gracious to all of them. He’s a mature only child.

August 14

Yesterday I overdosed on sugar. The after affects were the usual:


-anxiety, irritability

-craving for more

-slight headache

The adverse side-effects always get me back on the no sugar wagon–at least for a while!! I’ve got to make a break.

August 15

Yesterday, Thursday, at 10am Daniel wanted to be held, he was very fussy. I decided to sit in the rocker and hold him and pray. He fell asleep and took an early nap, but I was able to intercede for a while. I had no idea for whom I was praying, but I just asked God to intervene.

Today I got a letter from Jan, written last week, that Kyle was having surgery at noon on Thursday–but then I got a call from Janet and she said Kyle had the surgery at 10am our time!! and that it had been a great success.


I trusted You and went to the Clydesdale exhibit with the neighbors. I didn’t really want to go, but the kids did. My kids were so patient and uncomplaining. Hers were awful and complaining loudly. Embarrassingly so. 

The next day she came over to ask what I used to spank them with and about the chores the kids do!!

204 ~ A Continual Choice

204 – A Continual Choice

July 25, 1986

Leslie came over and talked some more. Her deceased husband was a troubled soul, she said. She and Chris (her son) are devastated. May You guard my mouth at all times by giving me wisdom and discernment, Lord!

I called the Superintendent’s office and got him! I explained yesterday’s last-minute cancellation. He sounded compassionate. But he also seemed stern and businesslike.

July 30

Depression and fear have been hovering around me because it feels like the Superintendent holds power over me!

I realized on my walk that I can embrace God and walk with Him or I can choose an anxious and negative attitude and darkness.

Today I will meet with the Superintendent at 9am.

I have been reading daily in Exodus. Then on Sunday at church I was convicted of not being in the Word enough, so I decided to read daily in the New Testament as well.

This morning I got:

1 Peter:13 Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority…

 15 for such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men.

Romans 13:1 Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.

These verses enabled me to be humble and submissive during the important meeting, not defensive and afraid. I will trust that You will use this man and his position for the best course we are to take.

Lord, that was amazing that I got those two verses on this exact day without having any other purpose but to hear Your voice. Amazing!

Thank You for reminding me of Your viewpoint about the world’s structure and my place in it! Thank You that I am able to hear you speak and by Your grace follow Your leading!

203 ~ A Tragic Interruption in Life

203 ~ A Tragic Interruption in Life

July 24, 1986

For months I had been worried about what the requirements would be to homeschool in Livonia. And when I met the lady yesterday who had been taken to court regarding homeschooling, I had been shocked and very concerned. Her personality was very outgoing and bold. My goal in homeschooling has always been to quietly do my thing and not attract any undue attention.

I had made an appointment with the superintendent of schools to present my case for teaching the boys at home. I had decided to tell him that we were expecting to be missionary candidates and we would be probably teaching our children overseas.

The appointment was today.

I prayed in the Spirit almost my entire 35 minute walk.

And then I found out that Leslie’s husband committed suicide last night. And everything stopped.

Leslie came over to talk.

I cancelled my appointment.

I thanked God for moving us here, for Leslie’s son being best friends with my sons, for the few times we had visited in the past couple of weeks so that we had built a relationship of friendship and trust. I mostly listened. I had no idea if he had made his peace with God so I could not broach that subject. She appreciated a listening ear.

Death is a tragic interruption in life.

202 ~ I Threw Myself On the Lord

202 – I Threw Myself On the Lord

July 18, 1986

During my early morning walk I prayed to be able to have discernment about the enemy and have victory over my flesh when I find myself rising up and taking the enemy’s bait! And did I ever need that prayer….

The boys were across the street hanging out with their friends. Dan and I went to Beulah’s to pick up the kids so we could take them to the 4-H meeting. The ladies were gossiping, actually slandering someone. Praise God I kept out of it.

Then at the school where the meeting was, I became fearful and angry about something.

Then after we got home, sorrow came upon me because I had no car to use to get Dan a birthday gift.

Then disgust because the flour canister had a huge ant in it so I could not bake for him.

I THREW MYSELF ON THE LORD, making sure the boys were well occupied in the playroom.

Loneliness and lack of control over my life, overwhelmed me.

I almost called Karen for prayer support, because I don’t even have a prayer partner here! –amazingly, restraint came because it would have been a very unwise use of money.

BUT GOD SAVED ME! without my calling anyone.

Peace came from God. My problems disappeared. We (the boys and I) would accept what we could not change and make do.

Then my mom called! GLORY!

Then my neighbor, Janet, came over and offered me her car!!

So I piled the boys in to the car and we went to the store and bought what we needed.

I had a major personal victory, and God worked mightily on my behalf! BLESS YOU, LORD!

The impact: self pity, a victim spirit, fearfulness, anger, loneliness, overwhelmingness—none of those things interfere with my relationship with the Lord if I just turn to Him and throw myself on His always-available mercy and grace.

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. Hebrews 4:16

201 ~ Wearing Ourselves Out

201 – Wearing Ourselves Out

July 17, 1986

We have been praying that God would tell us by His Spirit about Dan keeping this job he has been working at this week. He leaves the house at 5:30am (we get up at 4:30) and gets home at 5:30pm. We eat dinner and watch the news, he reads to the boys from the Bible story book, and after we put them to bed we are in bed by 9:30.

I believe I’m hearing from God through my Bible reading. Moses was sitting alone all day as judge over the people from morning to evening. His father-in-law saw that was happening and said:

“The thing that you do is not good. Both you and this people who are with you will surely wear yourselves out. For this thing is too much for you; you are not able to perform it by yourself.” Exodus 17:18

We just went though this unbalanced lifestyle when Dan had full responsibility over building the church. He worked extremely long hours and I had the boys extremely long hours. It became too much for both of us.

Is this the right job for Dan??

Later: A check from Life Center arrived. $1,100!! Tom Ballard called and said pastor took up a special collection for us. PRAISE GOD!!

Is God saying He is our Provider and to trust Him with another job??

198 – Really Praying!

198 – Really Praying!

July 9, 1986

Since I have been REALLY praying about homeschooling—GOD PLEASE MAKE THIS WORK OR ELSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO—it is going VERY well. I mean, VERY VERY well!

Also, I have been praising Him more and more for what He HAS done already in the past and HAS done already in the future that I get to step into.

My countenance is changing into a more joyful and positive one. Also, I have been a better disciplinarian of the boys. More aware of what to do and not so double minded.

July 12

From the basement Dan brought up a huge old piece of furniture that we are putting all of the homeschool books on. Perfect!

July 13

Yesterday I faced that I really love to sleep, confessed my self-centeredness, and asked God from there, from square one, to give me His motivation to pray early. HE DID!

Honesty with the Lord is the best policy. I need to just talk to Him. Just be real. Tell him the truth all the time: this is what’s going on in me, Lord! It seems to me that the Holy Spirit is the One who helps me be honest and not act like there is nothing going on.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9

The Holy Spirit knows it

My Lord knows my heart. As I lean into Him talk to Him about everything, then trust Him fully–and pray hard–He will always be my strength and my song!

“Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid; for the LORD GOD is my strength and song, And He has become my salvation.” Isaiah 12:2

197 – Let Them Go?

197 – Let Them Go?

July 3, 1986

But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. Romans 8:11-12

My spirit wants to be free of the bondage of the flesh. My spirit wants to get up EARLY, be loving, teach my children the Word of God and the ways of Jesus Christ, honor my husband.

But my flesh is strongly advancing its own causes: sleep, more rest, say what’s in front of my brain without control, be bossy, be controlling….

July 4

I heard again, Let my people go, that they may serve Me. Exodus 9:1

Is this You, Lord, talking about me letting the boys go to public school??? I feel greatly concerned about this. I know I am not meeting my high expectations of homeschooling, but to let them go into the world?…..

I met Stevie’s Vacation Bible School teacher and she is involved in court proceedings over homeschooling her children! THAT is NOT interesting to me AT ALL.

But to let them go???

Last night Dan and I let Timmy and Stevie go with Mrs. West, our next door neighbor, to see fireworks at her cottage at the lake. They left at 8:45 in the evening and returned at 11:15pm.

Once I had FINALLY made the decision that YES they could go, God gave me TOTAL peace. Getting past the vain imaginations and fears was HORRIBLE!!

Is there more letting go, Lord? Prepare my heart!

196 -Beware!

196 –  Beware!


June 27, 1986

You, therefore, beloved, since you know this beforehand, BEWARE lest you also fall from your own steadfastness, being led away with the error of the wicked, but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 3:17

For this past month I have been reading my Bible but not writing in my journal. I have been walking in our neighborhood almost daily and praying.

I have been reading in 2 Peter and the insights about being aware of wicked men SEEM to be about a person we met here—the FIRST person we met here.  He is a retired school teacher. He has been over often, giving gifts, being too friendly. Yesterday morning I had a good talk with God on my walk and asked for information about child molesters and JUST HAPPENED later that day to make my first visit to the Livonia library. And there on the front desk was a pamphlet: Protect Your Children.

After lunch I set Timmy, Stevie, Mark down for school and we had health.

I was quite frank and open and used this man as an example of someone we do not know well who might be crude or nasty and for them to be careful. Tim, 7, and Steve, 6, understood, but I am not sure about how well Markie, age 4, understood.

Mr. XX was here 1 ½ hours in the morning and two or three hours in the afternoon. 

I believe this is the man You were warning me about last month. I will be on the alert.

I have asked God to render this man powerless over me and Dan and the boys. I felt I was to start talking about God to him. Then we went to a Camp Meeting last night at Elim and the message was on “let the redeemed of the Lord say so!” We are to speak about our redemption. Our WORDS are life and valuable.

Praise God for the precious work of the Holy Spirit.

By the way the boys have responded well to our discussion. I feel we all feel closer to each other. You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free!

I had read Exodus 1 this morning and it told how God BLESSED the midwives for obeying and honoring Him and not killing the boy babies. I shared this with the boys –that to honor God brings us blessings even if someone else tells us to do the wrong thing.

We were vigilant. God was faithful. I thank Him today for the warning. The man was our neighbor. He brought huge pumpkins for the boys which was OK, and wanted to take them for rides on his tractor. NO.

195- We are Welcomed and Embraced

195 – We are Welcomed

and Embraced

June 23, 1986

Soon after we arrived in Livonia, Ted Kryzinski, a student from the Bible School, arrived to greet us and tell us to call his friend, Mike, the new Dean of Married Students. We had told Mike of our arrival date and he had sent Ted to greet us. (no cell phones!) Mike invited us to dinner, so we piled into our Suburban and Ted led the way to Mike’s house in the next town. Lima was 12 miles away and was the tiny town where Elim Bible Institute was located. What a blessed welcome!

Mike’s wife, Tish, was a wonderful hostess and a great cook and also brought dinner to our house the next night!

In the morning, our landlady appeared with 6 blueberry donuts for breakfast and later our down-the-street-neighbor, Cheryl, came by with coffee cake and a cooler of juice and paper cups. Elim students Rich and Brent arrived from Lima and helped Dan unload the containers and carry the furniture and the cardboard boxes into the house. They stored the empty shipping containers on the property.

I turned the black account book we had used as a diary of our trip into a FORGET-NOT-HIS-BENEFITS journal and listed all of the letters and cards and money gifts, which arrived often from our families and our Reno church. They took special offerings for us every couple of months. Our families and friends remembered our birthdays and sent the boys $1 bills or stickers on Halloween and Valentine’s Day. We also received money gifts from our Elim married student’s group and rides to appointments (we had one car which Dan took to school and work). We were given grocery bags of food at Thanksgiving and at Christmas and other random times, often left anonymously on the doorstep. We received clothes bags of used clothes for the whole family (which we had become used to receiving in our Reno church).

The grandest blessing of all was that 90% of the students were living by faith in God and depending on Him for their jobs, rent, and school fees. We weren’t weird anymore–like the ugly duckling we had found our flock!! And that brought us a deep comfort.

We made friends with the neighbors and two boys who were cousins, David and Chris, became great friends to all 4 sons.

Our house was on Big Tree Street, aptly named. Every 10 or 15 feet there was a giant and grand old tree. There were no fences between the houses, but acres of green, green grass. At harvest time, the apples and corn and berries ripened. Often our neighbors and new school friends shared their produce with us. Our garden grew giant pumpkins, tomatoes, corn, and the blackberry bushes thrived. We planted a several rows of veggies but could not keep up with the weeds and did not have much success.

What a pumpkin! Danny 2, Steve 6, Mark 4, Tim 7.

We quickly became part of a small home school group which was part of the greater homeschool group from the Bible School. We met for weekly get togethers, celebration of holidays, crafts, fun foods, and outings to the playground.  

Gramma Fern and Auntie Yvonne came for a visit and we went to Niagara Falls. Gramma treated us all to an exciting ride on the Maid of the Mist tourist boat that went up close to the falls.

Mark, Tim, Steve on the Maid-of-the-Mist boat at Niagra Falls. Raincoats were distributed to all passengers. Danny was there also.