248 – His Death for Me

248 – His Death for Me

December 28, 1986

Jesus said to the disciples when He asked them to pray about what was ahead:

Pray that you may not enter into temptation. Luke 22:40

And again He said: Why are you sleeping? Rise and pray that you may not enter into temptation. v 46

I confess sleeping instead of praying all to often, Lord. I repent. Bring the grace and strength I need, PLEASE. Be faithful to Yourself because You live in me!

A couple of days ago as I was reviewing Galatians 2:20:

I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

A scenario popped into my mind that God was leading me on a journey—it was me walking The Way of the Cross. I was taking accusations that I deserved, taking beatings that I deserved because of sin in my life; people in the crowd were jeering from hatefulness—real people with faces—representing those whom I had spoken idle words against or had wounded or had ‘killed’ with gossip or accusations. They put the crown on me and laughed. They wounded me and pushed me and made me carry the cross—and made me get up on it—and I DESERVED to be on it.

Yet it was only like a dream because My Savior went in my place and took all of this FOR ME so I do not have to take it. I get the benefits of His substitutionary death.

In return, I give You my life to use as You see fit.

247 – God Encouraged Me

247 – God Encouraged Me

December 27, 1986 Saturday

Oh! I just remembered:

After Karen had finished the pep talk on Christmas day, she talked about their Christmas gathering. A young man was there who is the third of six boys in a missionary family that had lived in China during his growing up years. She asked him how his mom had done raising them and if he had any advice she could share with me.

He said he knew it was hard for his mom to raise six sons, especially because her husband was gone A LOT and the responsibility was mainly hers. But she, LEANED ON THE LORD.

He said those years in China were the best in his life and that it is excellent experience for kids to grow up in a foreign country like that.

I had been asking God the last two weeks to tell me ANYTHING I needed to know about anything at all, because everything has been so difficult.

So He encouraged has me about:

*leaning on Him

*kids loving the overseas life

*ridding us of grumbling and complaining

*advised us of the spiritual attack and creepy spirits hanging around that we were to evict in Jesus’ name.

BLESS JESUS CHRIST!

BLESS OUR LORD!

GLORY TO GOD!

He also encouraged me by:

*having Dan home recently

*having Dan share the burden of the boys’ behavior

*letting me purchase plastic containers

*giving me time to organize and a clear head to do it today.

BLESS OUR GOD!!

246 – Repenting of a Bad Attitude

246 – Repenting of a Bad Attitude

December 27, 1986

Much repenting of my bad bad attitude, and still more to do.

I had three calls on Christmas day! Mom, Susie, and Karen. I cast my cares on Karen!! She called back the next day but I was out shopping with Tim and Stevie. She was very concerned about me and suspicious that the spirits that are bothering our neighbors were affecting us adversely—and she was frightened for me.

Dan recalled an “evil, beastie-looking thing” appearing the night before!—which he had neglected to tell me about! So we took Karen’s suggestion and prayed through the house. Then we prayed again at night.

Today was much better.

Also, I did devotions with the kids yesterday morning and asked Dan if he would join us. I turned to “do all things without grumbling or disputing” (Philippians 2:14) and the whole verse was perfect. We had all just read an Arch book about the seeds falling on various types of ground, so we prayed our hearts would be GOOD ground and would receive the Word of God.

We also laid down the law that their behavior HAD to change. As a result, the last two days have been gloriously happy and positive. It’s like a huge burden lifted!

Philippians 2:14-16 Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain.

We are holding fast to the word of life. We are holding fast to Jesus.        

245 – ‘Tis the Season to Trust Him

245 – ‘Tis the Season to

Trust Him

December 24, 1986 – Christmas Eve Day

The pressures of a messy unorganized house, Christmas errands yet to do, a few more cards to write, bows to tie on the tree, excited children—all with colds, 3 with varying stages of flu—a husband out of work (on his 3rd day of fasting and prayer). We still have no vehicle of our own, but Praise God, the Greenman’s car is ‘ours’ till Sunday. Christmas dinner plans had to be cancelled because of our flu and theirs, but a turkey and all the trimmings were given to us by the local churches! AND we have a smoked turkey sent from California by Connie and Jerry! 

With all of this—I guess I ‘deserve’ to be ‘under the circumstances.’ (that was my flesh!!)

BUT a desperate cry to my Lord in the shower, prayers from Dan, and—I can see clearly again, and HEAR what You have to say to me!

I will encourage myself in the Lord as Dan is doing, with psalms.

Selected verses from Psalms:

Oh taste and see that the Lord is GOOD; blessed is the man who TRUSTS in Him! 34:8

The EYES of the Lord are on the righteous, and His EARS are open to their cry. 34:15

The GOODNESS of God endures CONTINUALLY. 52:1b

I will praise Your name, O Lord, for it is GOOD.

For He has DELIVERED me out of all trouble. 54:6b, 7a

Whenever I am afraid, I will TRUST in You. In God (I WILL PRAISE HIS WORD), In God I have put my TRUST; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me? 56:3-4

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul TRUSTS in You; and in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, until these CALAMITIES have passed by. 57:1

Merry Christmas!

244 – I Choked the Word in the Christmas Rush

244 – I Choked the Word in the Christmas Rush

December 22, 1986

I’m glad I wrote on Dec 1 and Dec 2 all of our prayer requests. I see that God is answering prayers. Thank You, Father.

I was awful for 3 days. Finally today, as I address last package that we had to take to UPS—it broke! Whatever was on me, oppressing me, from the stress of Christmas duties is gone.

Included in my overwhelming feelings were female issues, stress of getting presents purchased and wrapped, finishing our craft projects, packages prepared for mailing. I also ate a few sugar cookies and some licorice—bad. Totally worked against me.

Dan prayed, Karen called, God moved.

I read in a book by Ruth H. Calkins: “God, I resign!” “–Good, You’re Promoted!”

I resign, Lord. But I want kindness and patience NOW! (I said as I threw a tantrum)(not really)

Going to my Bible to get the Word back into me:

Love is patient, love is kind. 1 Corinthians 13:4.

… love covers all transgressions. Proverbs 10:12

And we urge you brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with all men. 1 Thessalonians 5:1

Above all keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

Remembering something I heard from the Spirit the moment the last of the packages was wrapped: “the cares of this world CHOKED the good seed.” –i.e., my concern for the trappings of Christmas choked the life of Jesus, the Word, in my life. And I’ve been miserable!

243 – A Good News Day

243 – A Good News Day!

December 16, 1986

THIS WAS A GOOD NEWS DAY!

It was a huge battle just getting out of the house. My nerves were frayed. BUT Josie came out of her apartment and prayed for me just as we were leaving and gave me directions so I could get to the WIC office. I would have ended up on the wrong road! The drive was therefore pleasant in Tim and Brenda Robbins’ Subaru listening to Keith Green.

*We received our first WIC checks! They are good for 5 months and then we will be interviewed again. They are for both Mark and Daniel. Mark’s will just be for 3 months until he is 5 years old. Bless God. We were eligible for WIC because our income is $1,565 per month (average) (which includes $300 a month estimated contributions).

*We got another letter of confirmation that we will receive $1,800 for the Suburban from the insurance company. It’s more than we ever thought we’d get. It only cost $2,100 (which the church paid) a year ago. Bless God.

*Donna Tresize came over and brought a very large plastic bag with four NEW AND BEAUTIFUL AND EXPENSIVE LOOKING LARGE STUFFED ANIMALS IN IT. (we will save them for the boys to open on Christmas)

*The UPS lady brought 2 large boxes from Aunt Connie and Uncle Jerry and 2 boxes from Bebo and GrampAl.

*Nicole and Donna Vandermeid brought over 10 bags of groceries yesterday from Vivian’s church! TEN!!!

I found myself saying this is ENOUGH BLESSING, Lord…stop! I feel overwhelmed and yet so loved.

In my devotions: 1 Corinthians 12:1-11 which speaks of the various functions of various parts of the body…that there are diversities of gifts, differences of ministries, diversities of activities—but the same God who works all in all.

v 26 And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it.

This spoke to me regarding our receiving groceries from the village churches. Our fellow Christians have had generous compassion with our predicament and have been gracious in sharing with us.

241 – Receiving is Hard

241 – Receiving is Hard

December 14, 1986

There was much confusion and warfare before church at Elim. It was unusual.

I felt some good things MUST be ahead. And I was right.

  1. The message was excellent. Stacey Cline, whom Dan admires greatly, preached.

We felt we received confirmation on our willing availability and total submission being necessary in order that dynamic power would come forth in our lives. This means pressure, tribulation, prayer and praise are necessary for release of power as well as holiness.

  1. We visited with Jim and Gail, new friends, for a couple of hours while Dan tried to fix our new station wagon. Couldn’t. But we had a good visit.

They gave us two bags of groceries later in the week, worried that with Dan out of work we could get hungry! Bless them.

  1. Vivian (our babysitter from down the street who is living at the Pletcher’s) gave our name to her church for Christmas handout of groceries and clothes!

I said: Vivian, why us?

V: Well, you don’t have a car…

I: right…

V: and Dan doesn’t have a job…

I: right…

V: well……….

I: oh…ok….

  1. Wayne Pletcher (and his son Chris)(whose car we borrowed Saturday night and Sunday) came over just as we got home, about 4pm. They invited us to Christmas dinner at their house! Praise God! Also –they offered to get us a Christmas tree! Praise God!

And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:8

I am overwhelmed by the goodness of Our God. I am humbled and all this receiving is a little difficult.

240 – Let Your Word Bear Fruit

240 – Let Your Word

Bear Fruit

December 8, 1986

Your boasting is not good—indeed it is most unseemly and entirely out of place…. 1 Corinthians 5:6 Amplified

You have been speaking to me about conceit and boasting!

A seed has been planted.

Let it be watered by the Word, nurtured by the Spirit.

I am willing that you should change me; I cannot change myself. Let Your Word bear fruit!!

Praises filling this house is a seed that You planted three years ago through a ‘word’ spoken by our friend, Paul: this house should be filled with praises! Let this seed bear fruit!! Water and nurture it as You have been, please, Lord Jesus. It is not in me to make it happen. I surrender it to You. Minister it to me by the Spirit’s power.

Thank You for the EARLY prayer time this morning which YOU awakened me for, and kept me wide awake. Bless You.

And one more thing:

Yesterday was awful. I saw the results of my eating Christmas cookies. I CANNOT DO IT. Sugar is like poison to me. I became overwhelmed and confused and ugly. Thank You, Lord, for showing me this EARLY in December so that I do not have to repeat last December. In our preparation for our trip to New York last summer, the lady in the nutrition store said that if I would get off sugar several of my issues would be settled. Let Your words to me bear fruit!

Eating sugar does not work for me. Beginning the previous summer I had begun fasting sugar. Whenever I cheated, I, and everyone around me, suffered from my unhappiness.

239 – Spirit Led

239 – Spirit Led

December 6, 1986

We, especially Dan, feel the ’77 Pontiac isn’t for us….through the Spirit and through circumstances.

Once we had made that decision on Thursday night and prayed, then Friday night as we were borrowing Pletcher’s car, Cheryl mentioned—“you DO have a car! Tresize’s have a van they will sell!”

That’s just what Dan had wanted, for long-range going-back-to-Reno reasons.

Then at home group last night, the Robinson’s mentioned they need a car! So maybe the ’77 Pontiac is for them.

But that means we have to spend our totaled car money on another vehicle (hopefully there will be enough!) and we won’t have extra $ for snow clothes, bills and Christmas!

Praise God—I put this ALL in Your wonderful hands.

Last night at home group, I realized that we have a group of friends in this group whose #1 goal is to serve God. They are seeking Him, seeking to hear His voice directing them, looking to Him to provide. We are not weirdos! WE FIT IN. We are growing to love them. Our prayer time was blessed.

Our needs specifically:

*snow boots TSMDG

*snow gloves TS

*snow suits SM

*Christmas tree

*ideas & time to shop for/make gifts

*$ to mail packages

*company here for Christmas dinner or somewhere to go for Christmas dinner

*car/van

*gifts for our boys

*dental appointments DGTSM

*$ for boys’ doctor appointments which are needed for the WIC program requirements MD

*more good friends for the boys with opportunities to have them here and go to their homes

*curtain rods, etc., to hang curtains, time to do it with Dan

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

234 – Letting Go

234 – Letting Go

November 20, 1986

You are drawing me to Yourself through hardship, awareness of my inadequacies, and the ministry you have given me with the boys.

You really desire to live through me in such a way that sweetness and life come out of my mouth.

I believe You want me to be overflowing with the Holy Spirit.

I remember Gloria Copeland’s tapes on walking in the Spirit—pray 1 hour a day in the Spirit–why is is so crazily hard to do this!!

JoAnn (new friend) yesterday said, “To remove worldliness He comes with a scourge, in order to make us a house of prayer. Then the lame and the blind will come. He shows us how defiled we are. He shows us pride. He wants us completely dependent on Him.” Interesting viewpoint. 

Last night I let go, caved in, gave it to you—regarding the money we haven’t got for food. I’m going to stop pushing and by God’s grace accept His allotment. That means I’m going to buy what I can and expect Him to provide the rest. Yesterday we got government powdered milk, cornmeal, cheddar cheese, through Joan who has a foster son and gets government help. I was going to the store to get milk, cereal, eggs, and oven cleaner. But after Joan’s visit I decided to make cornmeal mush and trust God for the oven cleaner. I have the dough for baking crackers, but I cannot bake them till the chicken grease (from it popping when I roasted the chicken yesterday) is cleaned. It smokes badly. Maybe I can clean it without cleaner, just hot water and elbow grease.

Lord, You are our provider. As we have surrendered, You are moving. Also, Joan invited us to join their family for dinner after church on Sunday. I am excited to see You bringing a new friendship, yet I am a bit discouraged to have to surrender not being able to fix what I want for my family. Letting go and letting God be in charge of that area is long overdue.

I look for Your bountiful grace to come forth into my obedience. May You please show me any other area of obedience and surrender I need to make! And let me do it easily and quickly!

Soon after this we qualified for WIC (Women, Infants and Children) and picked up our own blocks of cheddar, approved cereals, peanut butter, milk, etc. We were able to stay on the program the rest of the time we were in NY, one and a half years longer.