Problem: Fear about reading the Word, in studying, and in doing devotions—that I will be led astray. Lack of full trust and dependence on the Holy Spirit—my heart says: remember what happened before and how far you got into a lie (when I believed as a new Christian that God was telling me that I was going to marry a particular person and I was derailed….)
Realization: I did not have awareness then in my first few months of being a new believer of my deceitful heart. I was immature. I did not know the difference between my voice building me up and the spirit of the evil one (I will be God, I will be lifted up) and the spirit of submission to the almighty Lord, the spirit of humility.
Application: Joshua 6:1-20 God gave a promise. God gave instructions. God expected obedience and God would give victory. OBEDIENCE isn’t an OPTION. Trust and obey. For me: the promise of a child who is a reward [The fruit of the womb is Hisreward. Ps 127:3] –and is who is blessed. Walk by faith. Trust Him. Obey Him. ‘Don’t shout’ means to me: don’t complain, murmur, worry aloud, doubt aloud. Take your woes to Daddy and your heart should be abundant with faith in Him.
Our hero, Dan, having recently returned to his home town, Reno, found himself falling in love.
A back story that is relevant: The first time Al came into the place Dan was working, the way the light was shining through the windows behind him, Dan thought an angel had just entered the room. It seemed at the time like an unusual supernatural experience.
Dan was working in his brother’s shop but also looking for a full-time job. When Al realized that Dan had been in construction he invited him to relocate and to work with him in building his house in Colorado. Dan was still recovering from his divorce, so the job offer filled a need and it was indeed a life-line. Within a few months, Dan became born again. By the time the job ended and Dan felt the Lord’s leading to return home, Al and Barbara thought of Dan as a son and protectively wanted to be sure his brand new faith in God would be nourished.
Dan found refuge in our warehouse church, where he was quickly embraced. Wanting to serve, he worked at several janitorial jobs, kept the tape notebook in order, worked the transparency machine during worship, and taught a Sunday School class. The friendships he made and the many church activities became an exciting new life. In the men’s fellowship meetings he learned about being a Christian husband, teaching him many things he hadn’t known in his first marriage.
In my soul-searching over my dad’s slide into alcoholism, it seemed imperative that I talk to someone about my confusion and my questions as soon as possible.
Looking around at the people in my life, I beheld the merrymakers in the bars, my partying girlfriends, and the teachers I knew.
There were two women on the faculty who stood out.
When I expressed an interest in finding out more about her relationship with God, Raina*, who seemed like a very spiritual woman, invited me to dinner. After dessert she excitedly led me into a room where there were exhibited on a dresser top several small pictures depicting Mohammed, Krishna, Buddha, Jesus, and some other religious figures.
I was getting more and more entrenched in riotous living, described in various Bible translations as: foolish living, wild living, living wastefully.
…the younger son gathered everything together and went on a journey into a distant country, and there he squandered his estate with loose living. Luke 15:13 NASB
This description barely fits but it gets the point across. I was the oldest daughter, not the youngest son. The wealth that I possessed was not monetary, but consisted of decent looks, purity, and adequate intelligence. I went on a journey in 1965 to the distant country called Living for Myself –also called Rebellion Against God.
I misused the character traits and qualities my parents and my God had instilled in me. I engaged in loose living. Loose living as described on Interglot.com is defined as moral laxity.