257 – More Time with My Boys

257 – More Time

with My Boys

February 4, 1987

I woke up at 2:30am concerned about Stevie, feeling I’m so busy I don’t just sit and listen and play with him and his brothers. I had a few ideas on how to help each of them: an old idea that each boy could get a turn to go alone with Dan , then with me the next time, to the diner down the street, for a milkshake or something. Walk, hold hands, chat.

also: I could ask Carleen if I could bring one boy at a time to spend the morning with her boys while I am at class at Elim.

also: skip a homeschool subject once in a while to play a game with one boy.

May God help me. Why do I know He will? He always does.

Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. Psalm 37:5

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Psalm 37:23

256 – Stay or Go Home

256 – Stay or Go Home

February 1, 1987 5am

Dan woke up with a vision of a jar with a vacuum in it—sucking his hands, rendering him helpless. It related to his friend in the mental institution. It struck fear into Dan’s heart. He felt it was definitely a warning to get out of this relationship. We obviously cannot help this friend.

I believe that Dan has been trying to save someone who does not want to be saved. And that this has put us in a place of impotency. It has clouded his present judgment. 

Such a tragic situation for this couple and for the rest of us. But our God restores.

Dan has been talking of leaving Elim in the middle of this semester. He had thought of not signing up for any classes at all so we could leave easily. As he shared this I felt peace though I was a little dismayed at moving on so soon from this wonderful place.

Show us the way, Lord.

Psalm 34:1 I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.

7 The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear Him, and delivers them.

O LORD, lead me in Your righteousness because of my foes; make Your way straight before me. Psalm 5:8

254 – My God is the Lord

254 – My God is the Lord

January 22, 1987

For thus says the Lord, who created the heavens, who is God,

who formed the earth and made it,

who has established it, who did not create it in vain,

who formed it to be inhabited;

I am the Lord, and there is no other.

Look to Me, and be saved, all you ends of the earth!

For I am God, and there is no other.

I have sworn by Myself;

The word has gone out of My mouth in righteousness,

and shall not return,

that to Me every knee shall bow, every tongue shall take an oath. Isaiah 45:18, 22, 23

This is God’s declaration of Himself as the only true God.

We pray to our Creator.

He did not make a wasteland.

He did not speak in secret.

He wants ALL to turn to Him and be saved.

There is no other God.

His word has gone forth from His mouth in righteousness and will not turn back.

Every knee WILL bow.

Every tongue WILL swear allegiance.

Men WILL come.

Those who were angry at Him WILL be put to shame.

Thank You for opening the door wide so all who will bow to You CAN come in.

Thank You that I came in.

Use me, that others would come in.

253 – We Are Getting Revived

253 – We Are Getting Revived

January 14, 1987 up early

Today I begin my class at Elim, Cults and World Religions, taught by Ruth Rodriquez. I believe she is the only woman on staff here, and she requested to be addressed as Sister Ruth. I have been nervous, but quickly turning to God as I try to imagine how this will be accomplished since I feel I am already over-extended. But just now in prayer I got a confidence and peace from God that He will do it as I pray desperately about all areas and keep it all in His hands. Bless You, Father.

Woman where are they? Did no one condemn you? And she said No one, Lord. And Jesus said, Neither do I condemn you; go your way; from now on sin no more. John 8:10

As I am considering this verse, Jesus does not condemn me—ever, for any reason. I am not to denounce myself. Ever, for any reason. Just take it all to Him.

Later in the evening: I am realizing that my husband and my God have given me a beautiful gift: Tuesday and Thursday mornings away from my routine so I can be at Elim. Studying, being with adults, learning. Today, I felt a little bit like a fish out of water, but I believe I will very quickly get used to being at Elim for my class and then chapel from 11-12. Today chapel was all praising and worshipping. Nice.

January 21

So much has been happening, I cannot record it all. But the Lord is reviving Dan and I.

The verse in Haggai reminded me that our obedience and reverence for the Lord results in the Lord stirring up the spirits of those in our household. (Haggai 1:1-14)

Yesterday at chapel a man from Uganda spoke, encouraging us to not grow weary, to not be satisfied with where we are in Christ. He exhorted us to hunger for a deeper walk. Also, to lay our foundation in Jesus Christ solidly. The church in Uganda is flourishing, sin is diminishing. They are founded in CHRIST.

The stone which the builders rejected has become the chief corner stone. Psalm 118:22

Jesus said to them, “Did you never read in the Scriptures, ‘THE STONE WHICH THE BUILDERS REJECTED, THIS BECAME THE CHIEF CORNERSTONE; THIS CAME ABOUT FROM THE LORD, AND IT IS MARVELOUS IN OUR EYES’? Matthew 21:42

[Jesus as the Rock is also found in Mark 12:10; Luke 2:17; Acts 4:11; Romans 9:33; 1 Peter 2:7 and other places.]

249 – There is Payoff for Praying in Tongues

249 – There is Payoff for Praying in Tongues

December 30, 1986

These verses blessed me:

Luke 24

     v 16 But their eyes were PREVENTED from recognizing Him

     v 31 And their eyes were OPENED and they recognized Him   

     v 45 Then He OPENED their minds to understand the scriptures.

God was in charge of what they perceived.

I believe I can pray and ask Him to let my eyes recognize Him and to let my mind understand the scriptures. I know I need inspiration and revelation.

It occurred to me this morning that after I had listened to the Gloria Copeland tapes and had begun praying in the Spirit in the early morning for an hour, one Saturday morning very early Carol K, an older woman in our church, called. She had never called me. She offered to give me a ride to the Ladies’ Meeting at church. I had been feeling hesitant about going, but had turned it over to God. But God had prepared me for her call because her name had come clearly to my mind a short time earlier.

THERE IS PAYOFF IN MAKING THE SACRIFICE TO DO DEVOTIONS REGULARLY AND LONG.

THERE IS PAYOFF IN PRAYING IN TONGUES FOR ONE HOUR IN THE MORNING.

OH GOD. LET YOUR SPIRIT RULE IN MY SPIRIT IN THIS SO I WILL DENY THE SLEEPY, LAZY, STRONG FLESH AND GET UP!

v 49 And behold, I am sending forth the promise of My Father upon you; but you are to stay in the city until you are clothed in power from on high.

The promise was the Holy Spirit and the gift of tongues.

248 – His Death for Me

248 – His Death for Me

December 28, 1986

Jesus said to the disciples when He asked them to pray about what was ahead:

Pray that you may not enter into temptation. Luke 22:40

And again He said: Why are you sleeping? Rise and pray that you may not enter into temptation. v 46

I confess sleeping instead of praying all to often, Lord. I repent. Bring the grace and strength I need, PLEASE. Be faithful to Yourself because You live in me!

A couple of days ago as I was reviewing Galatians 2:20:

I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

A scenario popped into my mind that God was leading me on a journey—it was me walking The Way of the Cross. I was taking accusations that I deserved, taking beatings that I deserved because of sin in my life; people in the crowd were jeering from hatefulness—real people with faces—representing those whom I had spoken idle words against or had wounded or had ‘killed’ with gossip or accusations. They put the crown on me and laughed. They wounded me and pushed me and made me carry the cross—and made me get up on it—and I DESERVED to be on it.

Yet it was only like a dream because My Savior went in my place and took all of this FOR ME so I do not have to take it. I get the benefits of His substitutionary death.

In return, I give You my life to use as You see fit.

246 – Repenting of a Bad Attitude

246 – Repenting of a Bad Attitude

December 27, 1986

Much repenting of my bad bad attitude, and still more to do.

I had three calls on Christmas day! Mom, Susie, and Karen. I cast my cares on Karen!! She called back the next day but I was out shopping with Tim and Stevie. She was very concerned about me and suspicious that the spirits that are bothering our neighbors were affecting us adversely—and she was frightened for me.

Dan recalled an “evil, beastie-looking thing” appearing the night before!—which he had neglected to tell me about! So we took Karen’s suggestion and prayed through the house. Then we prayed again at night.

Today was much better.

Also, I did devotions with the kids yesterday morning and asked Dan if he would join us. I turned to “do all things without grumbling or disputing” (Philippians 2:14) and the whole verse was perfect. We had all just read an Arch book about the seeds falling on various types of ground, so we prayed our hearts would be GOOD ground and would receive the Word of God.

We also laid down the law that their behavior HAD to change. As a result, the last two days have been gloriously happy and positive. It’s like a huge burden lifted!

Philippians 2:14-16 Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain.

We are holding fast to the word of life. We are holding fast to Jesus.        

245 – ‘Tis the Season to Trust Him

245 – ‘Tis the Season to

Trust Him

December 24, 1986 – Christmas Eve Day

The pressures of a messy unorganized house, Christmas errands yet to do, a few more cards to write, bows to tie on the tree, excited children—all with colds, 3 with varying stages of flu—a husband out of work (on his 3rd day of fasting and prayer). We still have no vehicle of our own, but Praise God, the Greenman’s car is ‘ours’ till Sunday. Christmas dinner plans had to be cancelled because of our flu and theirs, but a turkey and all the trimmings were given to us by the local churches! AND we have a smoked turkey sent from California by Connie and Jerry! 

With all of this—I guess I ‘deserve’ to be ‘under the circumstances.’ (that was my flesh!!)

BUT a desperate cry to my Lord in the shower, prayers from Dan, and—I can see clearly again, and HEAR what You have to say to me!

I will encourage myself in the Lord as Dan is doing, with psalms.

Selected verses from Psalms:

Oh taste and see that the Lord is GOOD; blessed is the man who TRUSTS in Him! 34:8

The EYES of the Lord are on the righteous, and His EARS are open to their cry. 34:15

The GOODNESS of God endures CONTINUALLY. 52:1b

I will praise Your name, O Lord, for it is GOOD.

For He has DELIVERED me out of all trouble. 54:6b, 7a

Whenever I am afraid, I will TRUST in You. In God (I WILL PRAISE HIS WORD), In God I have put my TRUST; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me? 56:3-4

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul TRUSTS in You; and in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, until these CALAMITIES have passed by. 57:1

Merry Christmas!

244 – I Choked the Word in the Christmas Rush

244 – I Choked the Word in the Christmas Rush

December 22, 1986

I’m glad I wrote on Dec 1 and Dec 2 all of our prayer requests. I see that God is answering prayers. Thank You, Father.

I was awful for 3 days. Finally today, as I address last package that we had to take to UPS—it broke! Whatever was on me, oppressing me, from the stress of Christmas duties is gone.

Included in my overwhelming feelings were female issues, stress of getting presents purchased and wrapped, finishing our craft projects, packages prepared for mailing. I also ate a few sugar cookies and some licorice—bad. Totally worked against me.

Dan prayed, Karen called, God moved.

I read in a book by Ruth H. Calkins: “God, I resign!” “–Good, You’re Promoted!”

I resign, Lord. But I want kindness and patience NOW! (I said as I threw a tantrum)(not really)

Going to my Bible to get the Word back into me:

Love is patient, love is kind. 1 Corinthians 13:4.

… love covers all transgressions. Proverbs 10:12

And we urge you brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with all men. 1 Thessalonians 5:1

Above all keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

Remembering something I heard from the Spirit the moment the last of the packages was wrapped: “the cares of this world CHOKED the good seed.” –i.e., my concern for the trappings of Christmas choked the life of Jesus, the Word, in my life. And I’ve been miserable!

242 – Warning and Prayers

242 – Warning and Prayers

December 15, 1986

Warning in my devotions:

Nevertheless, with most of them God was not well pleased: for they were laid low in the wilderness. Now these things happened as examples for us, that we should not crave evil things, as they also craved. 1 Corinthians 10:5-6

Cleanse me Lord; make me clean and pure in any way You see that I need it. Search me. My eyes are staid on Thee, my heart is full of Thee. Let nothing come between us.

I see friends whose marriages are in great danger right now because of cravings not taken to the cross. Please show them this truth this week. Please reveal the specific things you are not pleased with that they must let go of to get back on track in their marriages. PLEASE.

KEEP US, Lord, keep Dan and I true to You, keep us wholly Yours. Send grace to help in time of need.

Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16