143- Jesus Came to Our Luncheon

143- Jesus Came to Our Luncheon

March 3, 1985

On Saturday morning I was up from 5-6 praying in tongues. It came to my mind to go with Carol Kearney to the luncheon. I decided I would call her at 8am. But she called ME at 8am! GOD SPOKE TO ME!

Thank You, Father, for touching me yesterday at the Ladies’ Luncheon. Many tears of cleansing during worship. At the end Janet Alward called forward “those who do not want to live by their emotions and who want to hear God speak to them.”

I went forward and surrendered…shaking…heat on my body. ‘Just as I am, without one plea, but that Thy blood was shed for me!’

Earlier Janet had exhorted us to climb up on Jesus’ lap, to rest our heads on His shoulder to receive strength. I FELT power come into me.

I received a new tongue, cried many tears, felt comfort and peace. Such release, such joy.

She said, “God is changing you completely. You’re becoming all new.”

To me personally: “You have been given an intercessory ministry (not sure how she worded it). Whenever you feel the Holy Spirit come over you like He is now, pray!” This has been the desire of my heart.

As we sang, Just as I am, I received a wonderful revelation of God’s death for ME, personally. Jesus Christ gave Himself for ME. Hallelujah.

140- The Old Birth Control Issue Rises Again

140- The Old Birth Control Issue Rises Again

January 22, 1985

Dear Lord, Do You care if we do something permanent about birth control?  

Dan called to make a vasectomy appointment.

He called back to ask about paying on the installment plan. She told him that $350 was due at the time of the operation. He cancelled the appointment.

I’m not sure if this operation is Your will for us, but it seems to be people’s will for us: we have been given money by Dan’s dad, Danny and Lynn, the Theilmans, and my parents, just not quite enough.

February 17

Because of the nighttime ups and downs it seems sensible to say—no more!

March 7

This is the day that the vasectomy appointment was scheduled to be done. I have been praying in the Spirit about this issue. My old Catholic conscience interferes with my logic and my desire to not go back on our deal with the Lord that He would plan our family.

June 4

Yesterday I asked God to show me my hearts’ desire about our family. The thoughts came today that I would like a dozen children! But the reality is that I have not the years left, the money, the nervous system for it. The thought also came that God gives us CHOICES: I cannot do everything. I am one person with so much time, money and energy. I would like to teach the boys at home, because I feel so led by God. I love teaching, I am experienced and feel gifted. It would give me input into the boys’ lives now at the time I can really relate to them. Then when the time comes to let them go, I would be more ready for it. I feel like I’ve had so little personal one-on-one time with them. I KNOW I could make it up! Is this of You, Father? Please speak to me about it. The vasectomy is in 2 days. Bless You.

Thank You for working out praising in me. Let it be…let it continue. Such peace and contentment have come to me these last few days. I refuse to worry and fear, I look not at the messy house, I do not compare myself with Jenny. I praise You that I’m ME and that You are in my life and leading me. Living daily here—so who’s there to impress? I’m less uptight, more relaxed. Singing…

June 6 Our little platoon trooped into the waiting room, Dan had the operation… more on this in a few years.

139- Determined to Live Within Our Means

139- Determined to Live Within Our Means

January 3, 1985

My new values about materialism were tested at the Hart’s on New Year’s Eve and at Lynn and Danny’s on NY day. I found myself admiring their homes and goods. But I confessed it to the Lord.

I felt the call so clearly yesterday to move to the area of town where our ministry would be more obvious and I will not have to feel that I have to compete with those who have more stuff than we do.  Other people don’t lord over me, that’s not the issue. It’s that we need to break from a standard of living that we cannot meet into a standard of living that is more suited to Dan’s paycheck. I feel prepared in the Spirit and ready. Moving from a house we cannot afford is mandatory.

Our prayer is for a house with: 1) adequate space for our family size and type–four active boys means we need space; 2) a big yard; 3) sidewalks; 4) laundry facilities;  5) ready to move into or very simply and cheaply converted to our needs.

February 17

We looked at mobile homes and I said I was willing, but they were tacky, cruddy, and in a bad neighborhood. I had to say I wasn’t! Besides: we cannot afford bad influences on the kids.

February 24

Agreed with Kelly G on the phone for a miracle place that was very acceptable. I FELT the Holy Spirit in her prayer.

March 2

Dan looked at Stead duplexes, there is always one available, somebody said. So that is where we’ll go unless God intervenes! Oh, Lord, not Stead—please!!!

I am laughing at my unavailability! I thought I was SO surrendered, but I really did have strong opinions about just what neighborhood we lived in!

March 27

God intervened! PRAISE HIS NAME In the newspaper Dan found: 128 La Rue. Newly painted, carpeted, large porch, full basement, 2 ½ bedrooms, utility room. $485!!

Lord, thank You. I asked for sidewalks and you gave us a sidewalk of cement on all four sides of the house so the boys can go round and round on their big wheels! The front porch is awesome and there are two very small patches of grass surrounded by a picket fence. You met us in our need. We are so relieved!

On my calendar: Jan brought boxes and money! Dan met our new LaRue landlord and cinched the deal. JackieS invited us to dinner so we could pack the kitchen. On moving day our friends showed up: Jim & Jeanette, Sean, Paula, Glenn, Marty & Erin, John. We were blessed.

135- A Humbling Christmastime Revelation

135- A Humbling Christmastime Revelation

Wrestling with myself when I read this entry, I decided to post it. The thoughts about Jesus were nothing I had ever thought of! I believe it was the devil trying to snare me into despising Him and into becoming anti-Christ. BUT, I went to the Word and I was saved from the world, my flesh, and the devil. I love God’s Word.

December 22, 1984

A most wonderful and humbling revelation has come to me as I have mused on this day and this season.

I have seen that the stubbornness I was holding onto to have MY way this Christmas resulted in an angry, bitter, ugly woman, dissatisfied with everything, and bitter over the lack of money needed to make Christmas be what I felt I deserved (based on the world’s glittering standards and my own family’s traditions). I have been at odds with my children, resentful of my husband (and yet amazed at his humility and servant attitude toward me in my confusion). Before my walk this am Dan told me to meditate on:

Psalm 127:3 NIV Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him, the fruit of the womb is a reward.

1 Thessalonians 5:24 NIV The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it.

James 1:17 NIV Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

I read the verses, talked to God, and worshiped by my will–despising the hardness of my heart, yet I was set on receiving a blessing from the Lord. 

I remembered the Christmas note paper I saw yesterday: 

LET EVERY HEART PREPARE HIM ROOM

As I prayed and walked and thought, I realized that materialism was so entrenched in my heart that there was NO room for Jesus. But I heard myself saying: that does not bother me because I never liked that humble man who moved among the sick and poor, in plain and probably dirty clothing, sitting with people I did not admire and who I do not sit among myself! I really didn’t want to let Him in, poor as He was. I want the ‘good life’ with a Chrysler van, an expensive home inside and out, many presents under the tree, a perfect hairdo, well-behaved kids, a successful husband.

But then I thought—the reason I’m thinking like that is because of the world and the flesh. The reason I am blinded by that and cannot see past it—the devil.

Then—if children are God’s heritage, I AM WRONG IN MY THINKING, because God’s Word is right and truth.

So I claimed His Word to be living and active, etc., and for it to work on my hard heart.

134- Back in Step, but Wrestling with Moods

134- Back in Step,

but Wrestling with Moods

December 18, 1984, continued

I was back into my almost-daily time with the Lord, pouring out my heart, talking to Him about everything, and going to the Bible for relevant verses to encourage myself in the truth.

Lord, looking back over the last two weeks:

DISTRESSED: feeling generally nervous and irritable–partly because Mark and the baby had bad colds and that kept us home bound for a solid week (and friends away!); I broke my tooth on a corn nut; I had canker sores plus an added virus on my tongue and in my throat; grieving over an angry outburst; Christmas pressures, including comparing ours with our friends’ plans; back to worrying about birth control.

BLESSED: because I received compassion and prayer from my support group: Jackie, Susie, Jan. And super blessed because Dan has been totally non-condemning, accepting, loving, kind, understanding of my moodiness.

ENCOURAGED: at the men’s prayer breakfast that Dan goes to at church every Wednesday morning there was a word from the Lord for the married men from the single guy about loving their wives.

Dan and I are becoming more real-life humans. I’ve backed off from complaining about him being gone so much, realizing we need money to live! The job he has at the church as foreman of the building project requires extremely long hours (50-70 hours a week).

 

REALIZATIONS:

*God will comfort, I need to come to Him.

*Got is cleansing me, refining me.

*There is HOPE in Christ ALWAYS.

*I am really loved– by God, my husband, and my friends.

Ephesians 5:1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children, and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us…

        8 for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of the light…trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.

        15 be careful how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,

        18 be filled with the Spirit,

        19 singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;

        20 always giving thanks for all things…

        22 wives be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord

Father, I see impurity in me from a greedy, competitive, covetous heart. CLEANSE ME. I accept Christ’s work on the cross. The better alternative is imitating God, being a reflection of Him.

Thank You that I can come to the Word and receive the truth from Your perspective–wiser than the world, full of power and direction.

133- Firmly Established Hope

133- Firmly Established Hope

December 18, 1984

The phone just rang—it was Michele with a compassionate heart. Yesterday when I asked Dan about counseling with someone he suggested Carla, but now I’m thinking Michele.

Received a letter from Bruce, in Florida.

Both Michele and Bruce said the same thing: stand on the Word.

Luke 21:33 Heaven and earth will pass away, but MY WORDS will not pass away.

I can depend on God’s word.

1 Corinthians 1:7 and our hope for you is firmly grounded, knowing that as you are sharers of our sufferings you are also sharers of our comfort.

There is HOPE. It is firmly established hope. We have sufferings as Christians, but we also have much comfort: 

1-in Christ  2 Cor 9:8 And God is able to make all grace about to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed

2-in the Holy Spirit – John 14:16 I will pray the Father, and He shall give you another Comforter, that He may abide with you forever.

3in the Father of all mercies, the God of all comfort – Corinthians 1:3  Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort.

I still feel my burdens are far beyond my ability to cope right now.

2 Corinthians 1:8-9 For we…were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead.

There is a reason for these sufferings which are putting our own resources to death. It is so we will not trust in ourselves but in God.

2 Corinthians 1:10 who (God) delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, HE ON WHOM WE HAVE SET OUR HOPE. AND HE WILL YET DELIVER US.

I really was in despair. I was clinging to God the best I knew how, but I was very depressed. At some point during these months that we lived at the Grandview place, I loaded the boys into the car and drove up to the church property and told Dan that I felt completely hopeless and could only see blackness. He said, “It’s the devil. Don’t listen to his lies.” He prayed a quick prayer for me and something awful broke off of me. It had been sucking me into darkness and hopelessness. Jesus said: And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. John 8:32    Praise God, I was free. 

132- I’ve Got My Rights, You Know!

132- I’ve Got My Rights,

You Know!

December 17,1984

I just want what You’ve promised me:

Psalm 113:9 He makes the barren woman abide in the house, as a JOYFUL MOTHER OF CHILDREN.

I want JOY!

Ps 116:5-9 Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; yes, our God is compassionate. The Lord preserves the simple; I was brought low, and He saved me. Return to your rest O my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you. For You have rescued my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. I shall walk before the Lord in the land of the living.

I want You to save me, rescue me, and deal bountifully with me!

My flesh, OLD MAN, is on the throne. I’ve got this ache and this ailment and this Christmas is NOT working out like I think it should. 

“I haven’t”

“I can’t”

“I don’t have”

“I’ve got my rights you know”

…so I’ll throw my tantrum by withdrawing. I’ll be angry when people break in on my sacred space. And yet, this demeanor does not allow the entrance of the Holy Spirit with His peace, joy, love, self-control, etc.

Come, Lord Jesus, come to me!

125- Following God’s Trail – #7

125- Following God’s Trail – #7

May 6 –at church, Sandy M prayed: “The Lord has touched your babies. He assured me that He will be there to supervise the delivery. He told me to tell you.”

May 8 –open house, a few came. I will not be discouraged because God is merciful and He is perfect in His timing. He has purposes to fulfill. I purpose to trust Him.

May 12 –car fire! Our Nova station wagon caught on fire in the grocery store parking lot. Very strange. No one was hurt.

May 20 –open house, two couples, both interested.

May 23 –to Lynn’s for Lamaze breathing practice.

May 25 –very tense day: Elim guy never called. I was under pressure to get this house ready for possible realtors’ visits before the boys and I left for Michele’s Bible study for the morning. Feeling overwhelmed. Karen called—the Lord told her it was urgent that she call me. Praise God. She prayed, I cried, and the tension broke and my perspective changed. After dinner, much baby activity. Continuous Braxton Hicks for 1 hour. Wore me out!

May 28 –recognized fear, uncertainty, lack of faith about baby’s birth. Cried out to the Lord. My resources won’t be sufficient—no confidence in the doctor, etc. I thought hard about God, but couldn’t really get ahold of Him. I thought—how can I have success? Joshua 1:8 came to mind. Decided to use my NAS Bible with the topical index. I had just bought a spiral notebook. Looking up verses on the favor of God and the faithfulness of God. Will meditate daily on them. Dan wants to read them with me. Together we will see our Lord work.

May 29 –I got up early for devotions and prayer. Meditated on my scriptures in my spiral notebook. My faith was built. Elim guy called and we have a house for $300 a month beginning in August in NY.

May 30 –A realtor, called saying the artist couple, the Clarke’s, are very interested in buying our house.

May 31 –Dan set himself to pray. He said: “God what if they offer us $92,000?” THEY DID! He felt God said, “Just sell.”

Signed the agreement to sell. They will call us back tomorrow if they agree with our date changes.

The car fire had sidelined our car. We went to a lot and bought a car. We were all out till 11:30pm.

We felt God’s grace and blessing. Dodge Colt Vista. Seven passenger. But it doesn’t FEEL like seven passenger and there is so little trunk area. Trying not to argue.

124- Following God’s Trail – #6

124- Following God’s Trail – #6

April 7, 1984 –On this sunny day, cleaned inside and outside the house. Looks great!

Lynn’s friends came by and are interested in our house. The situation seems impossible to us.

April 9 –told a lady at the gas station that I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

April 13 – We are ready to put an ad in the paper. (Dan is wanting to do this sale on our own and skip realtor fees.)

Lynn called and her friends are still interested and will look again on Monday, so we will wait on putting the ad in the paper.

Joshua 2 in devotions. Very interesting how God leads, how God rescues His own, and the people He uses to help His people.

April 16Confess I got my expectation up today that the house will sell, we will have money in our pockets, and another car in front of the house, and be on our way to Oxnard to visit my parents. I was irritable though and Carol fervently prayed with me against irritability, discontent, anger, worry. PEACE came immediately.

God is showing me I can live in the flesh or in the Spirit – it’s my choice. “What are you going to settle for, Georgann?”  It takes such determination to stand against the world, the flesh and the devil. But my prayer to love God without compromise is paying off.

April 17 – Might get to have baby early.

April 22 –I thought, why not use a realtor? It seemed like a God thought. It brought me release and peace. Dan thought about it and felt the same. This is a HUGE attitude reversal for him.

It’s Easter Sunday: Twenty-five people were saved at church today! The anointing came on the pastor about 2/3 of the way through his sermon.

April 23I cannot give away what I do not have. Give me MORE, Jesus: insights, compassion, faith with works. As I think of Your omnipotence, omnipresence, omniscience, peace floods over me. You DO know everything that we are going through, You DO have the power that we need, that we do not have, to accomplish what You have called us to do.

April 26 –The realtor came over. I am bowing out of this, I am too changeable. I will let Dan do it.

April 28 – Tim’s birthday. Jackie invited us all to dinner. She had a cake and a gift for Tim. Marsha sent McDonald’s coupons, Connie sent Sesame Street tickets.

Synopsis of last couple of weeks since I have not been writing daily: Beth was here in town for a week. Elim housing guy called and has 2 houses available. I wrote a story for Guideposts magazine and sent it off. We completed the pre-admit for Saint Mary’s hospital.

122- Following God’s Trail – #4

122- Following God’s Trail – #4

Feb 16, 1984 – Elim called—we’re IN!

What relief came over us! They are concerned about our financial status. Dan assured them we have enough money for one year. They were relieved. They are working on housing for us. Dan intends to fly out—Judy said: “You’ll find we’re like a family here!”  THAT WAS JUST THE MESSAGE GOD GAVE US THROUGH PAUL!!

Danny & Lynn need to sell their house in order to buy our house.

Lima Christian School called us. It would cost $100 a month to send Tim to kindergarten there. Lord, please provide.

I read Karen my entire prayer list and she wrote it down so she and I will be praying the same things.

Feb 24 – Somebody said he did not think we would be going to NY till summer. I am still recovering from this! I wanted so much to get organized, settled, find a new doctor in our new town in time for our baby’s birth. I’m having a hard time adjusting to the possibility of that this is true.

Dan will fast M-W for many issues.

All of January and February Dan has been mightily praying and seeking God’s will. He had felt God said at the end of February he would have all the answers. That seemed like ages ago, and here it is upon us.

One of my librarian friends offered monthly support through a club she belongs to.

I guess if we stay here in Reno till summer God has His definite reasons. I am asking for a promise for this baby, so I can rest about that. I want to know the verse is from God.

Feb 25 –Meet with Judy Smith about USCWM.  (more on USCWM later) I perceived that the Lord has yet some work to do here in Reno that may involve us spreading the vision of the need of the unreached peoples of the world.

This morning I saw clearly that I did not necessarily want His will to be done, but MY WILL to be done. I repented, and was greatly blessed.  Now I am asking, “Reveal Your will and purpose so we can know we belong here longer and make arrangements accordingly.”

Am I waffling or just staying flexible? I just hope the house will sell so we can release some of that money to pay the property taxes which are coming due quickly. GOD KNOWS.

Feb 28 –God sent 3 of His ministers to me to love me and help me readjust my perspective. You are so loving Father.

*Karen – You have always trusted in Me, do not stop now; rest in Me, let Me break the way and go before you. It is your heart I am concerned about—nothing in the physical. Walk with Me, do not try to make Me walk with you. Walk with Me. Abide with Me. Look on Me.

In my devotions today: Matt 7:9 Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?

We are humbly and simply asking for God’s direction and help so that we can proceed in doing what we believe is His will.

*JoyceAs Abraham went without knowing, so are you and Dan!

AND THAT WAS IN MY DEVOTIONS YESTERDAY.

Joyce admitted she could not go out like that. What a sweetheart. She prayed all in the church would be available to give to Dan and I financially, etc. She prayed for the Holy Spirit to fill the baby in utero. She prayed for prosperity and a good reliable car.

*Jeanette – suggested cheddar cheese milkshake because low blood sugar could be the reason for the dizziness I was experiencing. She also had a testimony of how God brought money to them from nowhere.