143- Jesus Came to Our Luncheon

143- Jesus Came to Our Luncheon

March 3, 1985

On Saturday morning I was up from 5-6 praying in tongues. It came to my mind to go with Carol Kearney to the luncheon. I decided I would call her at 8am. But she called ME at 8am! GOD SPOKE TO ME!

Thank You, Father, for touching me yesterday at the Ladies’ Luncheon. Many tears of cleansing during worship. At the end Janet Alward called forward “those who do not want to live by their emotions and who want to hear God speak to them.”

I went forward and surrendered…shaking…heat on my body. ‘Just as I am, without one plea, but that Thy blood was shed for me!’

Earlier Janet had exhorted us to climb up on Jesus’ lap, to rest our heads on His shoulder to receive strength. I FELT power come into me.

I received a new tongue, cried many tears, felt comfort and peace. Such release, such joy.

She said, “God is changing you completely. You’re becoming all new.”

To me personally: “You have been given an intercessory ministry (not sure how she worded it). Whenever you feel the Holy Spirit come over you like He is now, pray!” This has been the desire of my heart.

As we sang, Just as I am, I received a wonderful revelation of God’s death for ME, personally. Jesus Christ gave Himself for ME. Hallelujah.

136- A Humbling Christmastime Revelation, part 2

136- A Humbling Christmastime Revelation, part 2

December 22, 1984–continued

The realization came to me that Jesus is a King who stepped down from glory for a time and went back to glory. He spent a few short years on earth despised among men because He hung around with the street people and the bag ladies, the lepers and the sick and the maimed. BUT HE STILL WAS A KING. HE STILL OWNED EVERYTHING AND WAS RICH AND POWERFUL. He left robes and crowns and riches. And He went back to them. He likes power too.

And I AM SEATED WITH HIM IN THE HEAVENLIES. He became flesh and dwelt among us so we could go back to be with Him forever.

So can’t I accept His call for me in this life? It’s temporary, my place in heaven is certain. I’m serving a king who wore a disguise so that I and everyone could identify with Him. I did identify with Him at salvation and for a few years, but then I wanted my heritage back and not His.

He’s the King of all kings.

He’s Lord of all.

He’s the Prince of Peace.

And He will live in me as much as I will let Him.

My heart has been cleaned up, Lord Jesus. I see You more clearly. I love You. I have been a hypocrite and I am a hypocrite to change camps now because I see Your riches. But that’s okay.

THY WILL BE DONE TODAY AND THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON. My King.

Ephesians 1:7-19 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe.

135- A Humbling Christmastime Revelation

135- A Humbling Christmastime Revelation

Wrestling with myself when I read this entry, I decided to post it. The thoughts about Jesus were nothing I had ever thought of! I believe it was the devil trying to snare me into despising Him and into becoming anti-Christ. BUT, I went to the Word and I was saved from the world, my flesh, and the devil. I love God’s Word.

December 22, 1984

A most wonderful and humbling revelation has come to me as I have mused on this day and this season.

I have seen that the stubbornness I was holding onto to have MY way this Christmas resulted in an angry, bitter, ugly woman, dissatisfied with everything, and bitter over the lack of money needed to make Christmas be what I felt I deserved (based on the world’s glittering standards and my own family’s traditions). I have been at odds with my children, resentful of my husband (and yet amazed at his humility and servant attitude toward me in my confusion). Before my walk this am Dan told me to meditate on:

Psalm 127:3 NIV Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him, the fruit of the womb is a reward.

1 Thessalonians 5:24 NIV The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it.

James 1:17 NIV Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

I read the verses, talked to God, and worshiped by my will–despising the hardness of my heart, yet I was set on receiving a blessing from the Lord. 

I remembered the Christmas note paper I saw yesterday: 

LET EVERY HEART PREPARE HIM ROOM

As I prayed and walked and thought, I realized that materialism was so entrenched in my heart that there was NO room for Jesus. But I heard myself saying: that does not bother me because I never liked that humble man who moved among the sick and poor, in plain and probably dirty clothing, sitting with people I did not admire and who I do not sit among myself! I really didn’t want to let Him in, poor as He was. I want the ‘good life’ with a Chrysler van, an expensive home inside and out, many presents under the tree, a perfect hairdo, well-behaved kids, a successful husband.

But then I thought—the reason I’m thinking like that is because of the world and the flesh. The reason I am blinded by that and cannot see past it—the devil.

Then—if children are God’s heritage, I AM WRONG IN MY THINKING, because God’s Word is right and truth.

So I claimed His Word to be living and active, etc., and for it to work on my hard heart.

130- I Accept Your Mercies

130- I Accept Your Mercies

December 11, 1984

2 Corinthians 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort-

*the Father of mercies – my Bible says: this is His job and His joy

*the God of all comfort – all means ALL – when I need it, He’s got it

v 4 who comforts us in all our affliction

*once again, all means all

*affliction refers to trouble and calamity

2 Timothy 3:16-17 All scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.

The Bible is inspired by God for everything I need. 

 am God’s born again child.

The Bible is true.

Every word is Spirit-breathed – 2 Timothy 3:16

None of my trouble, then, is out of His interest.

ALL means ALL. I receive Your comfort, Father.

Lamentations 3:22-23 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.

I receive Your mercy—new every morning 

With great gratefulness. Humbly.

Because proudly I cannot receive.

When I am proud I do not see my need.

And if I do…I do not ask.

When my flesh and the devil say God has put up with me all He can and I’m on my own, help me remember this verse, Father. 

Self-diagnosis: PMS was the pop ailment of the day, and I had all of the symptoms. Dan said I could get whatever I needed in the way of food and vitamins. This was answered prayer.

A few days ago I wanted to comfort Mark. He held tightly to his blankie, which he calls his “wankily” and would not accept my love. I saw that You must be so crushed when we turn away from Your offered love.

 

128- Following God’s Trail – #10

128- Following God’s Trail – #10

July 1, 1984 Father, I am having a hard time believing YOU are asking us to stay in Reno. PLEASE SHOW ME.

I am having a hard time trusting You with our finances, and in finding very suitable housing here in Reno, and in finding a kindergarten acceptable for Tim. You promise to gently lead those who are with young. I am letting it all go and believing Your Word.

Here’s the story: Dan had been working for several months with the contractor on the new building for our church. It was full-time work and they worked well together.

Two of the elders went to him independently and both felt strongly from the Lord that the timing of our going off to Bible School was premature.

The pastor offered him the job of foreman.

We prayed and fasted seeking the Lord.

We handed over the keys of our solar house to Peter and Marilyn Clarke and instead of driving 3,000 miles east across the country, we drove 5 miles west to a house in a quiet subdivision on Grandview Avenue. The rent was more than we wanted to spend but we were under pressure to find a place quickly. It was within a few miles of the church and in the same area of town we had been living for 2 years.

There was an elementary school across the street which had a very good reputation. I had been prepping Timmy: “Your teacher will love you. You are such a smart and cooperative boy. She will be so happy to have you in her class. Teachers love children who will work with them, obey them, and who want to learn.”

As it happened, they did not have room for my precious first born, and I was actually relieved. I had been reading, School Can Wait, by Raymond and Dorothy Moore.

July 22, 1984—Our 6th anniversary.

On our 6th anniversary, our sons were 5, 4, 2, and one month old. We had moved 7 times, including living in two foreign countries for short periods. Dan was 36 and I was 39.

We were crushed. All of our plans had been put on hold. We had laid down our vision for Japan and for Bible School, and we were in some subsidiary plan. God knew.

We believed we had been led by God to this point of surrender. We learned later that we were experiencing “the death of a vision.”

I went to google to get an explanation of the death of a vision and found a good one at http://www.thegoodbook.com. Pastor Cecil Thompson writes:

We are all fired up when the vision is fresh and new, but almost without warning things explode. Instead of seeing our vision fulfilled, it is like death has destroyed the vision. “What do we do now?”

Reeling, floundering…what’s going on, God? We were hastily trying to pull ourselves together after the explosion! We knew we had heard from the Lord and walked with God to this point. All of the other “visions” and “God ideas” had come to pass, so what was this all about?

We believed by faith that God had specific purpose in letting us be deflated. We did not believe God was capricious, impulsive, and unpredictable. We decided to trust Him.

But we also had to regroup quickly!

Spoiler: We DID go to Elim Bible Institute two years later. And we could clearly see the wisdom in the delay.

126- Following God’s Trail – #8

126- Following God’s Trail – #8

June 1 –Although we sold our house for $8,000 less than the appraisal, bought a car we cannot afford, have not gotten the obstetrician I wanted, the peace of God is totally meeting me. It’s wonderful. We’re in a dimension of faith that is far beyond us. We have over-extended ourselves in faith. We are in His grace. Yet, I can’t think too hard about the new car. It’s done. Dan agrees. We have to rest and trust Him.

A few hours later, Reno Dodge called for us to return the car!! It had already been sold to another man who was irate when he came to pick it up and it wasn’t there. OH NO! But what a relief! Dan said when he prayed last night, wondering if we’d done the right thing, he’d felt God had said, “There’s a way out.”

This was amazing. We learned some valuable lessons without a tragic mistake. The air cleared and we could see that the car was not big enough and not gutsy enough. Praise Jesus—You saved us once again!

June 2 –packed boxes, called mom about selling the house and told her the car story.

June 3 –people in my Bible study are praying about my doctor’s stand-in ob/gyn and the house sale and the car!

The reason having baby number 4 early was so important to me is that my babies increased in size: #1 almost 8 lbs, #2 almost 9 lbs, #3 was 10 pounds. I wanted #4 to be more in the 8-9 pound range. My lady friends were taking up my cause and praying for the doctor to say okay to an early delivery!

Dan did a devotional at the church property, excellent! Praise God.

June 4 – worried about taking a newborn baby across the country in July. All the boys will have just had their birthdays: Tim 5, Steve 4, Mark 2.  Did not get into the Word today—it shows.

Dan did finances—bummed out. “God, if You want us to go to NY we will need to raise support here and I will have to work there.”

Met the on-call doctor since mine will be out of town at the time of the birth – professional, caring, compassionate. He will deliver ten days early.

HH at Elders’ meeting told Dan to “go home and ask God if you made a mistake on house sale.” (taking such a loss). He thinks God is able to deliver us from a bad decision, like He delivered us from the bad decision on the car! We do feel we were hasty, so we are before the Lord.

June 5 – I fell down out by rabbit cage two times! The second time it felt like I was PUSHED! Shaken and very worried about my baby. Called Karen to pray. Dan prayed. Worried. Called doctor. No spotting. Rested.

June 7 – Bob & Berta came by wanting advice—they are pursuing YWAM. They prayed about everything with us and we prayed for them!

June 9—signed escrow papers.

June 10 – Woke up before 5 and began thinking. BAD. Got uptight. Finally went to the Word. I felt very clearly led to psalms and felt that Ps 71:6 will be our baby’s testimony: By You I have been sustained from my birth; You are He who took me from my mother’s womb; my praise is continually of You.

June 11 –When I got up at 5:30am my Bible was opened to our guest speaker’s text yesterday at church: Isaiah 35:6b-7a For waters shall burst forth in the wilderness, and streams in the desert. The parched ground shall become a pool, and the thirsty land springs of water. Speaker said revival is coming to this valley very soon.

What am I to do with this Lord? You know our lives are before You. We would change our plans if we thought You wanted us to stay here more than going to NY. Speak, Lord, Your servant is listening.

Dan and I prayed both morning and evening – long prayers.

124- Following God’s Trail – #6

124- Following God’s Trail – #6

April 7, 1984 –On this sunny day, cleaned inside and outside the house. Looks great!

Lynn’s friends came by and are interested in our house. The situation seems impossible to us.

April 9 –told a lady at the gas station that I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

April 13 – We are ready to put an ad in the paper. (Dan is wanting to do this sale on our own and skip realtor fees.)

Lynn called and her friends are still interested and will look again on Monday, so we will wait on putting the ad in the paper.

Joshua 2 in devotions. Very interesting how God leads, how God rescues His own, and the people He uses to help His people.

April 16Confess I got my expectation up today that the house will sell, we will have money in our pockets, and another car in front of the house, and be on our way to Oxnard to visit my parents. I was irritable though and Carol fervently prayed with me against irritability, discontent, anger, worry. PEACE came immediately.

God is showing me I can live in the flesh or in the Spirit – it’s my choice. “What are you going to settle for, Georgann?”  It takes such determination to stand against the world, the flesh and the devil. But my prayer to love God without compromise is paying off.

April 17 – Might get to have baby early.

April 22 –I thought, why not use a realtor? It seemed like a God thought. It brought me release and peace. Dan thought about it and felt the same. This is a HUGE attitude reversal for him.

It’s Easter Sunday: Twenty-five people were saved at church today! The anointing came on the pastor about 2/3 of the way through his sermon.

April 23I cannot give away what I do not have. Give me MORE, Jesus: insights, compassion, faith with works. As I think of Your omnipotence, omnipresence, omniscience, peace floods over me. You DO know everything that we are going through, You DO have the power that we need, that we do not have, to accomplish what You have called us to do.

April 26 –The realtor came over. I am bowing out of this, I am too changeable. I will let Dan do it.

April 28 – Tim’s birthday. Jackie invited us all to dinner. She had a cake and a gift for Tim. Marsha sent McDonald’s coupons, Connie sent Sesame Street tickets.

Synopsis of last couple of weeks since I have not been writing daily: Beth was here in town for a week. Elim housing guy called and has 2 houses available. I wrote a story for Guideposts magazine and sent it off. We completed the pre-admit for Saint Mary’s hospital.

121- Following God’s Trail – #3

121- Following God’s Trail – #3

February 2, 1984 –  Carla had good things to say about Elim.

On KNIS, we were listening to an inspirational story about Duncan Campbell applying for missionary service at age 50. He had a family and the organization was very hesitant. They wanted single men who would serve as itinerant preachers. But it became clear to them that it was God’s will to take Duncan, and that God was expanding their minds. When Duncan was making a major decision that would affect the lives of his family members, God reminded him: He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me in not worthy of Me. Matthew 10:37-38

Boy did that hit me! I have been putting Dan down for doing just that! Thank You, Father, for Your perspective once again. Also, God wants me to assume my full share of this responsibility. He knows me, that I would easily slide and shirk.

February 4 – Connie called and is sad and upset that we are going so far away.

Dan saw a 1970 red Suburban in good shape on a car lot yesterday $3200. But someone else had already made a cash offer. The salesman almost laughed at us. He said our car was worth $100 if it were sold on a car lot. (true) We know God could hold it for us and also provide the money for it. We would LOVE to have one of those wonderful stories of His provision.

Mumbo is upset with our move and our life choice to preach the gospel.

The people who should be so happy that we are giving ourselves to such an eternally worthwhile endeavor, every one of them is worried, confused, and does not understand at all. Praise You God for the clarity and comfort of Your word.

Feb 5 – Dan went to look at the Suburban again. He called the library and Bluebook on it is only $2660. They are asking $3295.  Thank You, Jesus. The truth will set you free!

The appraisal on our house came out to be $100,000.

Feb 7  – John and Jackie had a couple over to dinner last night that was from NY. They said Lima (where Elim is located) is full of big trees and farm land and it is very green. Hallelujah!

God is using Duncan Campbell’s biography as an evangelist and a faith missionary to answer my long-time prayer for meeting a missionary that we could identify with in preparation for our mission. The people we live around are wonderful, but someone who has turned themselves over so completely and seen God work mightily through their full surrender is the inspiration and counsel we need.

Feb 12—Danny called. They qualified for $89,500 loan. That is $10,500 short of our asking price.  Dan said he still felt peace so I decided not to panic.

Feb 14—Dan called Elim. Admissions lady, Judy, sent Dan’s application to the Committee without the Bodenseehof transcripts. She said she should know this afternoon and would call us.

What if things move fast??

119- Following God’s Trail – #1

119- Following God’s Trail – #1

Many times in our walks with God, Dan and I have followed a vision that we have believed we have received from the Lord. One of the first ones was Dan hearing from the Lord that I could be his wife. I have chronicled our experience in blogs 24-31.

Dan’s goal was to get more Biblical training before we embarked on our missionary venture to Japan. That goal was formulated from our experiences when we visited Japan and Dan had the realization that we were not prepared to do the spiritual warfare that would be required to live there.

It also came from watching Peace Child, Don Richard’s missionary story. Dan was very impacted by ….

I have also mentioned the Lord’s word through our friend, Paul (blog 116), to send our application to Elim and begin the process of admission.

In my 1984 journaling, I was using a 3-ring binder. I kept a separate section which I called THE CHAIN OF EVENTS LEADING TO OUR DEPARTURE. The next ten blogs chronicle how God was speaking to us in our devotions, in the circumstances, through friends, through the prophetic word. We were sure that God was clearly directing our steps and that within a month or two we would be on our way to New York.

Spoiler: We suffered a huge disappointment in that we did not make the trip that winter, or spring, OR SUMMER as we had expected but God had us delay TWO MORE YEARS! Of course we saw the wisdom in the delay in hindsight.

Yet the 6-month faith journey became and adventure in following the Holy Spirit’s leading. His ways are mysterious. He wanted us to learn more about hearing His voice, trusting Him, and especially learning to work with the Body of believers. We were both very independent and self-sufficient, but those aren’t character traits He admires. He needed to humble us, because there is till the day we die, always pride that creeps in and needs to be acknowledged and repented of. Who knows what else He had in His mind. Obedience to Jesus is always worth it even if it does not bring what we had envisioned, and even if we seem to be taking a twisting country road rather than the freeway.

January 8, 1984 –Dan gave reference letter forms to two of the church elders.

Jan 9 –From Dan’s notes I typed his application to Elim Bible Institute, Lima, New York. And we sent it off.

Jan 12 — Believing the Bible School had missionaries in Japan, we sent a letter to Elim Fellowship, the missionary sending agency associated with the Bible school, requesting a missionary appointment from them and housing in Japan. (We learned later that it was a rather audacious request.)

Jan 13 – Our very good friends, Danny & Lynn, wanted to buy our solar house. We looked at the paperwork and discussed the sale.

Jan 15 – Dan gave Danny money to begin the loan process.

Jan 16 – In my devotions: John 4:5 The woman of Samaria could bring others to Christ because of her experience with Him firsthand.  Then, Pastor said yesterday, “We need to experience Jesus.” Yes! Jesus lifted all of my relocation cares off of me as I came to Him with crying during worship and received prayer and counsel from Dan.

2 Chronicles 16:9 For the eyes of the Lord roam to and fro throughout the earth, that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. Georgann, give God your heart again.

Bruce Mc told Dan my heart must be with missions and be in the vision, too, or it won’t work. Dan was asked by Pastor Dave to be an elder for the second time. He said there had been a unanimous vote by current elders. Dan prayed and later said yes.

Jan  17 – Dan went to the Pastoral Meeting at church and HH, one of the elders, counseled Dan NOT to sell everything and give the money away, as had been our plan. Surprisingly, we both had peace about that.

114- We Are Blessed!

114- We are blessed!

November 1, 1983

I went to Dr. Ruiz and had a positive urine test! I’m pregnant! Due in June.

God, You have definitely been preparing me and as I look at You I am at peace and in joy. In September I suspected, but with Mark being sick and in the hospital I was so distracted and stressed, I could not be sure.

When I consider facing my parents and 95% of my Christian friends my blood runs cold because they will see us as foolish. SPEAK, LORD. I NEED A RHEMA FROM YOU!

HEBREWS 10:38 Now the just shall live by faith; but if anyone draws back, My soul has no pleasure in him.

Habakkuk 2:4c But the just shall live by his faith.

Dan gave me: Psalm 23:3b He leads me in the paths of righteous for HIS NAMESAKE.

It is for Jesus’ namesake that I go this way—hallelujah!

Tynale Commentary on the Bible on Psalm 23:3: The righteous one (whether an individual or a group) who belongs to God and whose trust continues in God and His promises SHALL LIVE, i.e., shall survive the present trial and receive His eternal reward. If, however, he DRAWS BACK THROUGH fear, God shall have no pleasure in him.

Dan also gave me: Psalm 128:1-4 Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in His ways….Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table. Behold thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord.

Our sons were 4, 3, and 1 when I had the positive pregnancy test! And, yes, people’s mouths fell open as the word got around that baby #4 was due in June.

As I re-read this post of my journal entries, I sound a little like a kook! But Dan and I have walked by faith our entire experience with Jesus. We have wanted to hear from Him and we have wanted to please Him by obeying Him. If others did not understand us, it was hard to bear sometimes, but it was okay. He always made sure we had at least one or two people who got it –because they lived that way also, or because they wished they could live in that kind of faith and they admired us for doing it. As the years have passed, we have matured, and we still walk by faith, seeking Him, listening and waiting for His word.