217 – Through the Holy Spirit, Like Jesus

217 – Through the Holy Spirit, Like Jesus

October 8, 1986

Thinking of my heaviness, harshness, at times.

Praying, pleading, for positive attitude.

Having just finished Isaiah and begun Jeremiah last night, reflecting on the fact that God so often seems negative, terrible, full of laws and penalties, unyielding, even mean—we’re a lot like that, aren’t we, Father?

But then came Jesus and the New Testament—the new covenant.

THAT IS WHERE I WANT TO LIVE.

How can I? I ask myself – and I hear:

by the power of the Holy Spirit like Jesus did!!

Then Jesus, being filled with the Holy Spirit… Luke 4:1

How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him. Acts 10:38

I choose Your abundant life, Jesus Christ. You are my Lord, Jesus. Let me serve You today. Let me serve my children with kindness in the fullness of Your Spirit.

211 ~ God is Speaking to Me about His Love

211 – God is Speaking to Me about His Love

September 25, 1986

But the fruit of the Spirit is love…  Galatians 2:20

I surrender to that love. Let me be a carrier of Your love! I cannot fashion it, fabricate it, duplicate it. It is unique to You. It flows from Your life in me as I worship You and praise You and seek You.

Oswald Chambers*: The springs of love are not in us…The springs of love are in the Holy Ghost.

Thank You for Oswald, Lord. He is one of my heroes. He tells it like it is. I love it when I can understand what he is saying! I understand this.

He continues: It is absurd to look for the love of God in our hearts naturally, it is only there when it has been shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit.

Romans 5:5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5

You are my new best friend, Holy Spirit. Please shed love and keep shedding love into my heart.

*My Utmost for His Highest, page 121.

209 ~ I Was Afraid is No Excuse!

209 – ‘I Was Afraid’ is No Excuse!

September 20, 1986

Matthew 25 contains the parable of the talents:

The servant says: Lord, I knew you to be a hard man…and I was afraid, and went and hid your talent…. 24-25

For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have in abundance…. 29

I see this means that God has given each of us talents to use for His purposes and His glory, but fear and self-consciousness, mixed in with laziness and distractibility wreak havoc on good His plans.

Oswald Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest, p 111, says: ‘Never say, I can’t. Never let limitation or natural ability come in. If we have received the Holy Spirit, God expects the work of the Holy Spirit to be manifested in us!’

My prayer:

Holy Spirit, Your conviction is so penetrating. I am undone, humbled. There is no argument, no self-justification of inability which can stand against You and Your call.

You have been raising my self-esteem (actually, my identity of who I am in Christ) so that I could receive this word today. You have been working Your word and Your presence into me, so that my self-esteem is tied with you and who YOU ARE and not who I am.

Impart, I ask in Jesus’ name, the WISDOM I need, the LOVE I need, the PEACE I need.

I rebuke FEAR in Jesus’ name.

I am seeing that most of the fear is an excuse from my lazy nature—’if I cover myself with fear, surely He’ll see and not ask any more of me because I am already so overloaded!’ Deceitful heart—be quiet!!

208 ~ Glorious Times

208 – Glorious Times

September 20, 1986

Yesterday God called me apart!

I walked at noon toward the school but then turned and walked up the hill and into a field of waist-high wildflowers: yellow and purple. Bordering the field on one end were deciduous trees of every changing color. On my left, a quaint old red-brown farm house. I stood in the rain under my little blue Japanese umbrella and read Galatians in my Phillip’s pocket Bible. I had been needy, crying out to God. Through Galatians he reaffirmed:

* do not hold man’s approval in high regard—only God’s approval

*you are not under the law but under grace

* your righteousness is not of the law by your good deeds, but by faith in Jesus Christ

* walk in faith

It was a glorious time.

Dan wanted me to go to Elim to the prayer meeting. So I did. I’m often hesitant to go out on my own, especially driving the country roads at night.

As I drove on campus to the meeting, Tracey Belcastro had just pulled in. We walked together and sat together with her husband and interceded together and talked afterwards. She is a person I have been wanting to know. We have agreed to be prayer partners. God is gracious.

God lifted me through worship and then blessed me with a new release of my prayer language in intercessory prayer. He is so precious.

On Friday, God touched me in an interesting way: In my prayers before the home school meeting, feeling desperate for peace in place of anxiety, I felt a sensation on my head just back from my hairline moving from the right temple area, across to the left. Hmmmm. At the meeting I was freer to be me than I have been in ages—with no second thoughts or deep introspection. Praise Jesus.

186- Bible Principles

186- Bible Principles

April 17, 1986

Genesis 12:1-2 Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go forth from your country, and from your relatives, and from your father’s house, to the land which I shall show you…and I will bless you…and so you shall be a blessing.

Holy Spirit, precious Comforter and Encourager and Teacher, You are going to have to help me believe that these verses are truly for us. I am so easily shaken. But I saw You build me up in my most holy faith on Sunday through taking me aside to read Smith Wigglesworth and on Monday through praying with Karen and Jackie. I beseech You today to greatly increase my faith and help me to be assured that this is our call and then give me the grace to accept Your details, Your pressures, Your timing. I praise You. I want no idols before me, but I so want You and Your will.

Genesis 14:17 God sent Melchizekek to bless Abram.

God send Your man to bless Dan. Bless him. Anoint him with oil. Prophecy over him. Move, I humbly ask, by Your precious Spirit, on Dan at the prayer meeting right now. His feet are in the Jordan but he does not SEE that the waters are parted for us. Please move through Your servants at that meeting. I ask that the wonderful hand of our God would verify to Dan and the group that the waters are parted, that we are on schedule. Give forth direction, Lord. I pray in Jesus’ name.

(it didn’t happen this day this way, but it did happen!)

184- Encouragements

184- Encouragements!

April 10, 1986

Genesis 7:16 So those that entered, male and female of all flesh, went in as God had commanded him; and the Lord shut him in.

Noah and his family obeyed God, did their part, and He did His part.

Us+Bible School –we are obeying–He will do His part and help us keep doing our part!

Genesis 8:1

Then God remembered Noah…

It was a long time of storm and rain and high water level—BUT GOD CAME THROUGH FOR THEM.

It has been years of seeking to go to Bible school, and God is coming through for us

Genesis 8:15 Then God spoke to Noah…

In His timing, God gave direction…

I am encouraged also that there was lots of unbelief surrounding Noah (the people watching him build the big boat did not ‘get it.’) That did not affect God’s perfect will and plan. And Noah just kept working and doing what God had told him to do.

Dan prayed this morning for encouragement for us through the Word or whatever way God would give it. I got VERY encouraged by the above insights. Dan was VERY encouraged when he went to the prayer meeting. Someone instigated the prayer for him. Jack B encouraged him to talk to Pastor about Life Center becoming our non-profit organization to handle our support money. Praise God for this revelation!

When I went to the Spiritual Warfare class, the leader talked to ME directly—almost as if I was the only one there! It was very uplifting. Jesus, thank You!

183- His Promises

183- His Promises

March 24, 1986

Streams in the Desert: (paraphrased)

Quote God’s promise back to Him…“YOU SAID…”

He cannot say no. He must do as He has said. 

Make your requests with definite earnestness if you would have definite answers.

Accept God at His Word. Believe that He really means EXACTLY what He says.

Pastor Dave’s sermons have been on a similar theme.

My experience has not taken me here yet.  But I am on the threshold.

My experience is: praying in the Spirit on my entire ½ hour walk. And during my day keeping on praying in the Spirit, and NEW LIFE is coming.

Father, it is very sad that I did not obey You one year ago when through Gloria Copeland You told me to pray in the Spirit one hour at the beginning of each day .

Also today I prayed more earnestly than I usually do. I felt a new thrust to do this 2 or 3 days ago. To let go of the self prayers, the woe is me’s, the list of needs. And just to put Your Spirit in the driver’s seat.

182- Keep the Spirit in Control

182- Keep the Spirit in Control

April 13, 1986

Revelation: I must be fully in the Spirit in my relationship with my children, my circumstances, my body.

My wisdom teeth pulling experience last week was an outrageously beautiful experience and picture of the Spirit being in control.

My body was being torturously dealt with! I can see the grotesque faces of the nurse and the doctor frantically trying to get those teeth out. My cheek felt like it was tearing at one point and the drilling noises were screeching and high-pitched and deafening.

BUT I HAD ASKED GOD CLEARLY: NO MATTER WHAT MY BODY GOES THROUGH LET MY SPIRIT– MEANING YOUR SPIRIT IN MY SPIRIT– BE IN CONTROL.

I was several times reassuring the doctor and the nurse that I was fine. They were apologetic for putting me through so much but I was able to comfort them!

Now two days later, weakened from not eating because of the discomfort in my mouth, the boys are rowdy, my temper is short, there was an early morning phone call…I was going to have to answer the phone…

….but to the Lord I went as my Refuge. How can I reign in this situation with Christ Jesus? I felt He said, “Take dominion over the boys and don’t let the dirty dishes take dominion over you. You are in control. My Spirit will fill you and lead you. Be confident.”

168- When I Repent, He Listens

168- When I Repent,

He Listens

November 21, 1985 – 5:15am, by the grace of God—also up early yesterday

Good experience at boys’ nap time of mending, praying, praying in my payer language. I did not FEEL that I was accomplishing anything. But I saw such a difference in my attitude later! Praise Jesus!

Also- I had an insight Tuesday night. Through something I read, and an experience of conversation with Dan, I saw that I really am possessive with him. Made me see how really insecure I am. Made me think about home school and how much of ME was involved in not deciding on a specific curriculum. Did I really want to do it myself from our own resources?

I repent of possessiveness regarding Dan and each boy.

I let go by my will. I desire to trust Your sovereign hand in each of our lives.

I repent of relying on my own resources to teach Tim. I humbly ask that You bring me the curriculum that would best suit Timmy (learning) and me (teaching). I thank You for forgiving me whenever I acknowledge my sin. I thank You for your continual love and conviction. I desire to walk before You in holiness and purity and faith.

I release myself to trust You regarding the boys’ friends and experiences.

I confess fear and insecurity and power-struggling with You. I confess this because of a TINY voice saying it could be true.

When You said through Joyce to let go of the reins and KathyS had the Moses passage—I struggled and analyzed and thought and prayed. But I did not just say: You are God, I trust these prophetic utterances and I lay myself down and repent by faith. I still have no gut indication that this is true, but only faith. I do this now.

I pray for the following

*Dan’s ministering

*my ministering

*our ministry together

*home school curriculum

*the boys’ friendships, experiences

*Wed night area meeting

*Ladies’ Bible study

*listening to friends’ voices that have overpowered me….

Psalm 37:5 Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.

145- Pray in the Spirit and Read the Bible

145- Pray in the Spirit

and Read the Bible

February, 1985

Dan and I were always reading Christian books, listening to speakers on KNIS, and listening to tapes by famous Christians. We were also having our own personal Bible time and attending church three times a week. We never relied on Sunday messages to feed us. We have always felt it was our responsibility to press in to get more of God.

In the park one day I met Kelly, who also had four little kids. She was listening to Gloria Copeland’s tape series, Walk in the Spirit, and shared them with me. This prophetic word of Kennet E. Hagin’s was on the tape, and I wrote it in my journal.

Those who walk with God, for God is a spirit, will walk in the realm of the Spirit, will commune and SEE and minister in the realm of the Spirit. It is not easy. The flesh will hold you back. The Word teaches you to crucify the flesh. Man will hold you back. Man will hold you into the things SEEN with the physical senses. Move into the realm of the Spirit. The things you have longed for will happen. Spiritual manifestation will be natural. Let your Spirit have the privilege of communication with God. Give your spirit opportunity in the Word—just an hour or two out of 24. Your life will be empowered and you will be a mighty force for God. Others will see the power and love of God flowing out of you. You will have cause for rejoicing. An hour or two a day will bring insight and your prayers will have clout. You will move in the Spirit. Other things will fall off of you. Let the Spirit pray what’s in your heart to the outside.

This was just what I needed to hear to boost me into a closer walk with Jesus. It provided motivation to read my Bible MORE and pray in tongues MORE and to take responsibility for my growth in my relationship with Jesus.