112- Womb Closed, Womb Open?

112- Womb Closed,

Womb Open?

July 8, 1983

Today I am remembering Vern’s prayer for the Lord to close my womb.

Lou had a disability. Our hearts went out to him and we welcomed him and his wife into our home on many occasions. He was a new friend at church, and he had said that he had a word from God that He would close my womb. I had faith that, although this sounded very unusual, I knew God was able to do this. It brought me peace for many months in this area that we were seeking the Lord about.

July 18

Lord, my appointment on Wednesday is with Dr. Staffer, a Christian associate of my regular doctor. I ASK that he notice my womb closed. (Sounds like an incredible request) It would make the testimony more believable. I also ask for You to tell the doctor if I have a hormonal imbalance or if I am beginning the change of life. I would like some counsel from him about this. Thank You.

August 16

Dan has been so loving and so faithful. Thank You for strengthening our relationship, for giving us Your love for each other.

September 19

*Yesterday at church Jan said, “Are you pregnant?” And I felt the Lord was telling me, “You are.”

*Two weeks ago a little boy at church, 7 year old Matthew, asked if I was going to have a baby!

*KathyS gave me two maternity dresses!

*I had spotting last Tues, but today I started my period.

*Oh! The doctor said my experience in prayer was just a symbol and not to rely on it for birth control.

*This morning on the phone, Karen said, “I wouldn’t be surprised if you were pregnant.”

I am shaken. I really thought this was settled. I guess I will soon know.

It’s not having another baby that is the issue. If that is what You want for me and for us, I will be ecstatically rejoicing from the depths of me. I really will, I will not resist in any way. In fact if there is new life in me, “welcome, little wee one! we love you already.”

The hard part is the humiliation and the jokes that will follow us and be thrown in our faces. And that hurts my spirit deep down.

I know You are able to do anything You want to do. By faith, I believe You are reliable, and that every circumstance You allow has purpose for Your kingdom and for my being conformed into the image of my precious Savior.

The man who had the word for me about the Lord closing my womb was only at our church a few months. Knowing him was a good experience because it has helped us recognize legalistic people and people who should be wearing a sign that says—beware of me! I’m a little ‘off kilter.’ You have seen Dan’s and my wholehearted faith in the Lord. But at the same time we needed to grow in the area of discernment of spirits.

Dan and I have gifts of mercy, so it was easy for us to bring this man into our world. But the gift of mercy really needs wisdom and Spirit leading or the mercy person will find himself with a houseful of homeless people or stray cats, and his hard-earned money in other people’s pockets and not his bank account.

109- Not a Speck – Part II

109- Not A Speck –

Part II

July 4, 1983

I am still not fully committed to Christ’s way. I still fear for my life, my children’s lives. [I think I meant that I was still apprehensive about selling all and about the possibility that God would ask us to leave everything familiar to go to another country forever….and maybe die there.]

But I need to continuously affirm that –

-“I am going with Christ to the END” –my flesh screams: “not to the END!”

-“I will go the way of the cross” –my flesh screams: “argh! not THAT way!”

-“I will deny MYSELF and follow after Jesus My Lord” –my flesh screams: “oh no! He’s a fanatic!”

I turn away from the wimpy flesh to Jesus: Continue reading “109- Not a Speck – Part II”

104- A Foot Washing

104- A Foot Washing

For several weeks the boys and I had been attending a women’s Bible study with other ladies and their children in our church. The older women arranged it so that babysitting was provided and the moms could have a break to get together around the Bible.

June 24, 1983

We washed each other’s feet at Carla’s Homemaking Bible Study. I washed Lynn’s. Diane washed mine.

Diane loves me. This always surprises me. She really thinks I am wonderful. Possibly the admiration I feel toward Jenny. It is humbling.

Kathy S called today and said that one of the things Diane had prayed for me was for a beautiful crown. Kathy said she had wanted to tell me a couple of weeks ago that she felt that’s what God had for me. (That week, I’m remembering, I had been bellyaching about finances and He was thinking about me wearing a beautiful crown!)

In my reading this morning:

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

You amaze me, Lord. Thank You—this is written to all who love You. This helps me to want to not complain even more. I am getting a CROWN for the test so why would I bellyache when I could be choosing to walk in the Spirit, which is pleasing to God, to my husband, and to my children.

Romans 8:6-8 For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God…But if the spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, WHICH HE DOES, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His spirit who dwells in you.

I choose life in the Spirit.

103- Cling to Christ – Part III

103- Cling to Christ – Part III

On June 17, 1983 – last week I groaned over my actions and wrote in my journal:

Galatians 4:19 My little children, for whom I labor in birth again until Christ is formed in you—

WOW! that’s it—I want to do this for my own little children—care carefully for them so that Christ will be formed in them!

Proverbs 17:27 He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.

What are my two biggest problems?

*too many words

*a negative, depressive, cast down spirit.

All of this says to me, you’ve got a rotten heart – the flesh nature – I sense the Lord saying:

“Don’t turn to men or put your trust in men in order to build yourself up, to get feedback, or to vent your frustrations!

Look to Me. You can get knowledge and understanding and have the self-control and the joyful spirit you so greatly desire. TRUST WHOLLY IN THE LORD!

Your friend [Jenny] sought Me out for three weeks and received! Let’s go.”

What a great and glorious miracle I am asking for! You met Jenny in her seeking, You will meet me.

Lead, my dear Spirit

102- Consider Your Temperament – Part II

102 – Consider Your Temperament – 

And Cling to Christ – Part II

 

June 22, 1983 -continued

Through the daily prayer guide we are reading I was led to this verse:

Samuel said this to the people:

1 Samuel 12:20-24 (paraphrased) Do not turn aside from following the Lord, serve the Him with all your heart; don’t turn to vain things because they cannot profit nor deliver you. The Lord will not forsake His people for His great name’s sake because it pleased Him to make you His own. He will teach you the good and the right way. Serve Him in truth with all your heart, considering the great things He has done for you.

The Holy Spirit said this to me personally:

If I don’t serve Him with all my heart and soul, I will find myself following vain things—things which will not be of any benefit to me and they will not deliver me. Jesus will not ever forsake me. He has an investment me. Think of the great things He has done for me. He was happy to make me His own. The Holy Spirit will pray for me and teach me. He is saying, “Georgann, fear God, serve Him the way He wants to be served. Honor Him for all He has done for you.”

On my Bible tapes, I heard through Galatians 5 and 6: You cannot fool God. You will grow what you plant! If you plant your flesh, you will grow flesh—this pertains to my character as well as to my sons—do I want to grow flesh-filled kids or Spirit-filled kids??? HEAVY!

I am to press in to the Spirit and not stay in discouragement or weariness. I am to keep myself encouraged in Christ! I WILL REAP good fruit if I hang in there with Jesus all the way!

80- The Holy Spirit Gives the Power to Live Obediently

80- The Holy Spirit Gives the Power to Live Obediently

August 10, 1982

The issue: much lessened income over the past few weeks necessitating cutting spending even more. No more gifts giving, only certain number of trips for Dan to Carson City, smaller food budget, possibly letting go of health insurance.

My need: attitude change regarding food. I take pride and pleasure in menu planning, cooking, and eating. It is very extremely difficult for me to die to this. Yet it is absolutely necessary. Today I spent too much at the grocery store and cannot have a physical, I guess, on Thursday.

God’s word: Psalm 78:17-20

Yet they still continued to sin against Him, to rebel against the Most High in the desert. And in their heart they put God to the test by asking for food according to their desire. Then they spoke against God. They said, “Can God prepare a table in the wilderness? Behold, He struck the rock, so that the waters gushed out, and streams were overflowing. Can He give bread also? Will He provide meat for His people?”

I do not desire to kindle Your anger by putting You to the test to provide nor do I want to be disobedient to my husband and be a poor steward of the money You provide.

So, CHANGE ME.

The Holy Spirit gives the power to live obediently. Thank You, Holy Spirit. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

58- The Holy Spirit

58- The Holy Spirit

In Japan we had acutely realized our need for more teaching, more enlightenment, more growth in Christ.

When we returned from Japan we continued attending the EFree church. Yet, soon after we returned, we became very interested when a couple in the church began talking about the Holy Spirit. The subject was not taken up by the leadership as a topic to be pursued, but our interest was keen. We chose to change churches to pursue our quest for a deeper relationship with Jesus. Life Center church became our home church for many years.

Through new friends, we met Dick Munn and he prayed over us for the baptism of the Holy Spirit. When he was praying for Dan, he said his hands got very very hot and Dan began speaking in tongues fluently. I, on the other hand, while experiencing the same man’s prayers on the same night needed to pursued the Lord on and off for months to receive my prayer language!

woman praying
Crying out to the Lord to receive my prayer language.

Many days when the boys went down for their naps, I would kneel by our bed and I would seek God on the matter. One day I heard very clearly: “You don’t want to let go of control of your tongue. You are not willing to trust Me in this.” The conviction came, and I realized He was right! I agreed with Him and turned fully to Him, and began giving Him full access to renewing my mind and releasing my language. And finally after more seeking and praying tongues came. Thank You, Jesus.

At Life Center we joined the class that one of the elders, Bruce McKaig, was teaching about HEALING. This fed our hungry spirits and we began putting the teachings to use in our home, taking advantage of most illnesses to practice our new faith. We still went to the doctor. We combined faith and medicine.

God had arrested our attention in Japan that we were blocked in spiritual power. The couple who was seeking Holy Spirit fullness piqued our interest so that we pursued the Holy Spirit in a church that believed in His real power to heal and deliver. The prayer in the Munn’s home brought us to the baptism in the Holy Spirit, and the healing class expanded personal power and increased our faith in our knowledge of the Spirit’s power.

We were also reading books like They Speak with Other Tongues by John Sherrill, which is Episcopal priest’s Dennis Bennett’s story of the experience he had in 1960 of his personal Pentecost. I also read Prison to Praise, by Merlin Carothers. When everything seemed to be against him, he was advised by a Christian to stop complaining about his problems and start praising God FOR each problem! It changed his life and sharing this principle became his world-wide ministry, and it continues today after his death. When he was baptized in the Spirit, he was filled with overwhelming love for everyone he saw. The book can be accessed online as a pdf.

47- Who Can Save Me?

47- Who Can Save Me?

Feb 5, 1980

Problem: Not wanting to get up in the morning. Overly concerned with sleep needs. Wrestled 45 minutes with myself about getting going today. All I do is work, everything is work. There’s nothing to look forward to. Never a break—no shopping, nothing new, no treats, no movies or exciting dinners. Just drudgery. This is deep because until the last few days I’ve still had joy and managed to cope. But the extra burden with two overnight visitors in 3 days (missionaries),  a one day break, and tonight Shawn and Amy, and Friday night Donna S. None of these are in themselves gruesome. God has provided the love in my heart. But I need to go do something different: be a guest, get out. I also need to get housework done and for it to be clean and orderly here. Too burdensome to be tense about someone opening the oven! I don’t even know what would help. I would feel guilty spending a cent for clothes or fancy food. I couldn’t enjoy them. We’re grubbing for daily groceries, and the last 2 months’ furnace oil bills, baby doctor, overdue power bill, phone bill. Dan needs work pants, Timmy needs rubber pants, we need birthday gifts for Megan and Connie and Jerry. I have not been receiving much in the Word. Sunday mornings I am usually called to the nursery to comfort Timmy, and Sunday nights I stay home with him.

Who can save me? Jesus Christ my Lord.

 Feb 22, 1980 A radio spot: In the Christian life we are like the trapeze artist who lets go of one bar and turns mid-air for the other–God calls us to turn from our fears and make leaps of faith for Him!! 

I’m hearing You, Jesus Christ my Lord!

Turning from one bar and reaching mid-air for the next one
Turning from one bar and reaching mid-air for the next one~it’s okay, He’s got me!

Feb 28, 1980 Springs in the Valley, Mrs. C.E. Cowman: UP!…is not the LORD gone out before thee? Judges 4:14 God has guided the heroes and saints of all ages to do things which the common sense of all the community has regarded as ridiculous and mad. Have you ever taken risks for Christ?  -Charles E. Cowman 

Also: Had Moses failed to go, had God granted his prayer, there would have been for him…no pillar of fire…no smiting of the sea…only 40 years of desert, watching with his sheep. J.R. Miller

I’m hearing You, Jesus Christ my Lord!

41- Precious Goodbyes from Precious Friends

41- Precious Goodbyes from Precious Friends

March 6, 1979

Yesterday we received a letter from Dan’s ex-boss, Dale, that the job is still Dan’s (interesting jobs that please Dan), along with the freedom to also be involved in ministry. Thank You!

Two days ago Mr. Moore suggested Sue take us in the van all the way to Zurich on Friday! Thank You Jesus! (rather than part way and a train the rest of the way)

Yesterday I called my parents and was greeted with cheerfulness. Thank You Jesus! 

Our friends gave us a baby-shower-goodbye-SURPRISE party! God humbles us in various ways.

In reality, there were 100 happy faces!
In reality, there were 100 happy faces!

May we never forget the sea of loving faces. Chas: I learned about Christian marriage. Ed: they listened. Abraham (Kenya): they loved the simple-minded (which he was NOT). Kathy Jansen: they listened and told me the right thing even if I did not want to hear it. Terri: G’s example of not having to be in the middle, but content to pray. Angel: they helped. Sue: we cried together. Tom: not separated by age from them. Daniel: example. Notes, candy boxes, baby cover-up. Principal and his wife Anita: baby sweater. VP Herb and Penny: a very cute German baby outfit. Speeches. Hugs. Tears. 

May the love shown to us here rejoice our hearts forever. May God’s grace enable us to be available to these dear ones as we have boldly offered ourselves (for visits). May they know it was Jesus between us, and many prayers, never enough, but many prayers of intercession.

Thank You, God our Father for the unspeakable great gift of Jesus Christ.

40- Leery of Reading the Word

40- Leery of Reading the Word

February 8, 1979

Problem: Fear about reading the Word, in studying, and in doing devotions—that I will be led astray. Lack of full trust and dependence on the Holy Spirit—my heart says: remember what happened before and how far you got into a lie (when I believed as a new Christian that God was telling me that I was going to marry a particular person and I was derailed….)

Lord, I just want to hear from you...
Lord, I just want to hear from you…

Realization: I did not have awareness then in my first few months of being a new believer of my deceitful heart. I was immature. I did not know the difference between my voice building me up and the spirit of the evil one (I will be God, I will be lifted up) and the spirit of submission to the almighty Lord, the spirit of humility.

Application: Joshua 6:1-20 God gave a promise. God gave instructions. God expected obedience and God would give victory. OBEDIENCE isn’t an OPTION. Trust and obey. For me: the promise of a child who is a reward [The fruit of the womb is His reward. Ps 127:3]  –and is who is blessed. Walk by faith. Trust Him. Obey Him. ‘Don’t shout’ means to me: don’t complain, murmur, worry aloud, doubt aloud. Take your woes to Daddy and your heart should be abundant with faith in Him.