168- When I Repent, He Listens

168- When I Repent,

He Listens

November 21, 1985 – 5:15am, by the grace of God—also up early yesterday

Good experience at nap time of mending, praying, praying in prayer language. I did not FEEL that I was accomplishing anything. But I saw such a difference in my attitude later! Praise Jesus!

Also- insight (Tuesday night). Through something I read, and an experience of conversation with Dan, I saw that I really am possessive with him. Made me see how really insecure I am. Made me think about home school and how much of ME was involved in not deciding on a curriculum. Did I really want to do it myself from our own resources?

I repent of possessiveness regarding Dan and each boy.

I let go by my will. I desire to trust Your sovereign hand in each of our lives.

I repent of relying on my own resources to teach Tim. I humbly ask that You bring me the curriculum that would best suit Timmy (learning) and me (teaching). I thank You for forgiving me whenever I acknowledge my sin. I thank You for your continual love and conviction. I desire to walk before You in holiness and purity and faith.

I release myself to trust You regarding the boys’ friends and experiences.

I confess fear and insecurity and power struggling with You. I confess this because of a TINY possible voice saying it could be true.

When You said through Joyce to let go of the reins and KathyS had the Moses passage—I struggled and analyzed and thought and prayed. But I did not just say: You are God, I trust these prophetic utterances and I lay myself down and repent by faith. I still have no gut indication that this is true, but only faith. I do this now.

I pray for the following

*Dan’s ministering

*my ministering

*our ministry together

*home school curriculum

*the boys’ friendships, experiences

*Wed night area meeting

*Ladies’ Bible study

*listening to friends’ voices that have overpowered me….

Psalm 37:5 Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.

145- Pray in the Spirit and Read the Bible

145- Pray in the Spirit

and Read the Bible

February, 1985

Dan and I were always reading Christian books, listening to speakers on KNIS, and listening to tapes by famous Christians. We were also having our own personal Bible time and attending church three times a week. We never relied on Sunday messages to feed us. We have always felt it was our responsibility to press in to get more of God.

In the park one day I met Kelly, who also had four little kids. She was listening to Gloria Copeland’s tape series, Walk in the Spirit, and shared them with me. This prophetic word of Kennet E. Hagin’s was on the tape, and I wrote it in my journal.

Those who walk with God, for God is a spirit, will walk in the realm of the Spirit, will commune and SEE and minister in the realm of the Spirit. It is not easy. The flesh will hold you back. The Word teaches you to crucify the flesh. Man will hold you back. Man will hold you into the things SEEN with the physical senses. Move into the realm of the Spirit. The things you have longed for will happen. Spiritual manifestation will be natural. Let your Spirit have the privilege of communication with God. Give your spirit opportunity in the Word—just an hour or two out of 24. Your life will be empowered and you will be a mighty force for God. Others will see the power and love of God flowing out of you. You will have cause for rejoicing. An hour or two a day will bring insight and your prayers will have clout. You will move in the Spirit. Other things will fall off of you. Let the Spirit pray what’s in your heart to the outside.

This was just what I needed to hear to boost me into a closer walk with Jesus. It provided motivation to read my Bible MORE and pray in tongues MORE and to take responsibility for my growth in my relationship with Jesus. 

143- Jesus Came to Our Luncheon

143- Jesus Came to Our Luncheon

March 3, 1985

On Saturday morning I was up from 5-6 praying in tongues. It came to my mind to go with Carol Kearney to the luncheon. I decided I would call her at 8am. But she called ME at 8am! GOD SPOKE TO ME!

Thank You, Father, for touching me yesterday at the Ladies’ Luncheon. Many tears of cleansing during worship. At the end Janet Alward called forward “those who do not want to live by their emotions and who want to hear God speak to them.”

I went forward and surrendered…shaking…heat on my body. ‘Just as I am, without one plea, but that Thy blood was shed for me!’

Earlier Janet had exhorted us to climb up on Jesus’ lap, to rest our heads on His shoulder to receive strength. I FELT power come into me.

I received a new tongue, cried many tears, felt comfort and peace. Such release, such joy.

She said, “God is changing you completely. You’re becoming all new.”

To me personally: “You have been given an intercessory ministry (not sure how she worded it). Whenever you feel the Holy Spirit come over you like He is now, pray!” This has been the desire of my heart.

As we sang, Just as I am, I received a wonderful revelation of God’s death for ME, personally. Jesus Christ gave Himself for ME. Hallelujah.

122- Following God’s Trail – #4

122- Following God’s Trail – #4

Feb 16, 1984 – Elim called—we’re IN!

What relief came over us! They are concerned about our financial status. Dan assured them we have enough money for one year. They were relieved. They are working on housing for us. Dan intends to fly out—Judy said: “You’ll find we’re like a family here!”  THAT WAS JUST THE MESSAGE GOD GAVE US THROUGH PAUL!!

Danny & Lynn need to sell their house in order to buy our house.

Lima Christian School in New York called us. It would cost $100 a month to send Tim to kindergarten there. Lord, please provide.

I read Karen my entire prayer list and she wrote it down so she and I will be praying the same things.

Feb 24 – Somebody said he did not think we would be going to NY till summer. I am still recovering from this! I wanted so much to get organized, settled, find a new doctor in our new town in time for our baby’s birth. I’m having a hard time adjusting to the possibility of that this is true.

Dan will fast M-W for many issues.

All of January and February Dan has been mightily praying and seeking God’s will. He had felt God said at the end of February he would have all the answers. That seemed like ages ago, and here it is upon us.

One of my librarian friends offered monthly support through a club she belongs to.

I guess if we stay here in Reno till summer God has His definite reasons. I am asking for a promise for this baby, so I can rest about that. I want to know the verse is directly from God.

Feb 25 –Meet with Judy Smith about USCWM.  (more on USCWM later) I perceived that the Lord has yet some work to do here in Reno that may involve us spreading the vision of the need of the unreached peoples of the world.

This morning I saw clearly that I did not necessarily want His will to be done, but MY WILL to be done. I repented, and was greatly blessed.  Now I am asking, “Reveal Your will and purpose so we can know we belong here longer and make arrangements accordingly.”

Am I waffling or just staying flexible? I just hope the house will sell so we can release some of that money to pay the property taxes which are coming due quickly. GOD KNOWS.

Feb 28 –God sent 3 of His ministers to me to love me and help me readjust my perspective. You are so loving Father.

*Karen – You have always trusted in Me, do not stop now; rest in Me, let Me break the way and go before you. It is your heart I am concerned about—nothing in the physical. Walk with Me, do not try to make Me walk with you. Walk with Me. Abide with Me. Look on Me.

In my devotions today: Matt 7:9 Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?

We are humbly and simply asking for God’s direction and help so that we can proceed in doing what we believe is His will.

*JoyceAs Abraham went without knowing, so are you and Dan!

AND THAT WAS IN MY DEVOTIONS YESTERDAY.

Joyce admitted she could not go out like that. What a sweetheart. She prayed all in the church would be available to give to Dan and I financially, etc. She prayed for the Holy Spirit to fill the baby in utero with the Holy Spirit. She prayed for prosperity and a good reliable car.

*Jeanette – suggested cheddar cheese milkshake because low blood sugar could be the reason for the dizziness I was experiencing. She also had a testimony of how God brought money to them from nowhere.

120- Following God’s Trail – #2

120 – Following God’s Trail – #2

Jan 17, 1984 – Loan girl called. Things are happening. We need to put the house on the market.

I went to an appointment with the doctor who had delivered all three boys, and Dan came with me. Baby is due mid-June. I called Mom—she is not excited about our possible soon departure.

We have RECEIVED AND BELIEVED the word of the Lord to us that Elim is for us and that there is a place for us to live. By God’s grace we have begun moving in this direction. We have some clothes bags from the church, and I am sorting and packing all the kids’ clothes and setting aside the infant clothes.

God gave me nine double boxes of the type I wanted just as I walked into the store yesterday, and a parking place right by the door. And since I was alone, the kids were not tagging along for the 6 trips to the car! Thank You for REALLY increasing my faith through this experience, Jesus.

Jan 18—doubts came. Then God reminded me of the word through Paul to “apply now.”

Jan 21—Pete from Elim Fellowship called: 1-there is no work at this time in Japan, 2-there is no family there available to take us in (and they had never had a request like that and had never done it before), 3-he asked about Dan’s preaching experience, 4- and if Dan had ministerial papers. (Dan has had scant preaching experience and is not a licensed minister.)

Were we discouraged? NO! Perhaps God wants us to be forerunners because it is such a great idea to live with a Japanese family in order to become familiar with the food, the language, the culture. I do not see 3 or 4 as handicaps.

Jan 23—we received a letter from Elim!! Positive. Waiting for our Germany Bible School transcripts.

Jan 24—we called to get an appraisal appointment for the solar house.

Jan 25 –appraiser was here today! We put it in God’s hands. We have no floor coverings, just area rugs, 1 bathroom is unfinished, there are no baseboards.

Jan 26 –Looking through an envelope of some Japanese keepsakes: a newspaper, a McDonald’s menu from Tokyo, a place mat from a restaurant–and became so aware of the fact of how little I know about the culture. What am I getting into? HELP! Have we really counted the cost?

Jan 28—I panicked over all that had to be done! Prayed over everything for 1½ hours.

Jan 29—Our pastor preached a message that was right on target for us! Visionaries “see” (understand) there is something they can’t yet see that God wants to make happen for them and for Him. He doesn’t move in our time but in our faith. We participate by seeking Him diligently. The Spirit is our resource.

My resources are in the Spirit. Wow! This sure seems to fit.

Marianne from church offered to support us at Bible school!

112- Womb Closed, Womb Open?

112- Womb Closed,

Womb Open?

July 8, 1983

Today I am remembering Gary’s prayer for the Lord to close my womb.

Gary had a disability. Our hearts went out to him and we welcomed him and his wife into our home on many occasions. He was a new friend at church, and he had said that he had a word from God that He would close my womb. We had been questioning whether Dan should have a vasectomy (since we had given our family planning to the Lord). I had faith that, although this sounded very unusual, I knew God was able to do this. It brought me peace for many months in this area that we were seeking the Lord about.

July 18

Lord, my appointment on Wednesday is with Dr. Staffer, a Christian associate of my regular doctor. I ASK that he notice my womb closed. (Sounds like an incredible request) It would make the testimony more believable. I also ask for You to tell the doctor if I have a hormonal imbalance or if I am beginning the change of life. I would like some counsel from him about this. Thank You.

August 16

Dan has been so loving and so faithful. Thank You for strengthening our relationship, for giving us Your love for each other.

September 19

*Yesterday at church Jan said, “Are you pregnant?” Strangely I felt I heard the Lord say: “You are.”

*Two weeks ago a little boy at church, 7 year old Matthew, asked if I was going to have a baby!

*KathyS gave me two maternity dresses!

*I had spotting last Tues, but today I started my period.

*And two months ago the doctor had said not to rely on that faith prayer for birth control.

*This morning on the phone, Karen said, “I wouldn’t be surprised if you were pregnant.”

I am shaken. I really thought this was settled. I guess I will soon know.

It’s not having another baby that is the issue. If that is what You want for me and for us, I will be ecstatically rejoicing from the depths of me. I really will, I will not resist in any way. In fact if there is new life in me, “welcome, little wee one! we love you already.”

The hard part is the humiliation and the jokes that will follow us and be thrown in our faces. And that hurts my spirit deep down.

I know You are able to do anything You want to do. By faith, I believe You are reliable, and that every circumstance You allow has purpose for Your kingdom and for my being conformed into the image of my precious Savior.

The man who had the word for me about the Lord closing my womb was only at our church a few months. Knowing him was a good experience because it has helped us recognize legalistic people and people who should be wearing a sign that says—beware of me! I’m a little ‘off kilter.’ You have seen Dan’s and my wholehearted faith in the Lord. But at the same time we needed to grow in the area of discernment of spirits.

Dan and I have gifts of mercy, so it was easy for us to bring this man into our world. But the gift of mercy really needs wisdom and Spirit leading or the mercy person will find himself with a houseful of homeless people or stray cats, and his hard-earned money in other people’s pockets and not his bank account.

The rest of the story: I was pregnant. Several months later when we we celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary, our sons were 5, 4, 2, and newborn. And Dan got the vasectomy.

109- A Challenge!

109- A Challenge!

The challenge with God is to keep working with Him in every area of life, and to stay submitted to desiring His will. He wants us to get real and not profess high and lofty spirituality when we don’t mean it. I’m struggling to be true to my husband and to what I think the Lord wants, and yet wrestling with real-life concerns.  

July 4, 1983

I must not be fully committed to Christ’s way because I feel fear for my life, my children’s lives. [I was very apprehensive about “selling all” and about the possibility that God would ask us to leave everything familiar to go to another country forever….and maybe die there.]

But I need to continuously affirm that –

-“I am going with Christ to the END” –my flesh screams: “not to the END!”

-“I will go the way of the cross” –my flesh screams: “argh! not THAT way!”

-“I will deny MYSELF and follow after Jesus My Lord” –my flesh screams: “oh no! He’s a fanatic!”

I turn away from my wimpy flesh to Jesus: Continue reading “109- A Challenge!”

104- A Foot Washing

104- A Foot Washing

For several weeks the boys and I had been attending a women’s Bible study with other ladies and their children in our church. The older women arranged it so that babysitting was provided and the moms could have a break to get together around the Bible.

June 24, 1983

We washed each other’s feet at Carla’s Homemaking Bible Study. I washed Lynn’s. Diane washed mine.

Diane loves me. This always surprises me. She really thinks I am wonderful. Possibly the admiration I feel toward Jenny. It is humbling.

Kathy S called today and said that one of the things Diane had prayed for me was for a beautiful crown. Kathy said she had wanted to tell me a couple of weeks ago that she felt that’s what God had for me. (That week, I’m remembering, I had been bellyaching about finances and while God was thinking about me wearing a beautiful crown!)

In my reading this morning:

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

You amaze me, Lord. Thank You—this is written to all who love You. This helps me to want to not complain even more. I am getting a CROWN for the test so why would I bellyache when I could be choosing to walk in the Spirit, which is pleasing to God, to my husband, and to my children.

Romans 8:6-8 For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God…But if the spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, WHICH HE DOES, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His spirit who dwells in you.

I choose life in the Spirit.

103- Consider Your Temperament and Cling to Christ – Part III

103- Consider Your Temperament –

And Cling to Christ  – Part III

On June 17, 1983 – last week I groaned over my actions and wrote in my journal:

Galatians 4:19 My little children, for whom I labor in birth again until Christ is formed in you—

WOW! that’s it—I want to do this for my own little children—care carefully for them so that Christ will be formed in them!

Proverbs 17:27 He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.

What are my two biggest problems?

*too many words

*a negative, depressive, cast down spirit.

All of this says to me, you’ve got a rotten heart – the flesh nature – I sense the Lord saying:

“Don’t turn to men or put your trust in men in order to build yourself up, to get feedback, or to vent your frustrations!

Look to Me. You can get knowledge and understanding and have the self-control and the joyful spirit you so greatly desire. TRUST WHOLLY IN THE LORD!

Your friend [Jenny] sought Me out for three weeks and received! Let’s go.”

What a great and glorious miracle I am asking for! You met Jenny in her seeking, You will meet me.

Lead, my dear Spirit

102- Consider Your Temperament and Cling to Christ – Part II

102 – Consider Your Temperament – 

And Cling to Christ – Part II

 

June 22, 1983 -continued

Through the daily prayer guide we are reading I was led to this verse:

Samuel said this to the people:

1 Samuel 12:20-24 (paraphrased) Do not turn aside from following the Lord, serve the Him with all your heart; don’t turn to vain things because they cannot profit nor deliver you. The Lord will not forsake His people for His great name’s sake because it pleased Him to make you His own. He will teach you the good and the right way. Serve Him in truth with all your heart, considering the great things He has done for you.

The Holy Spirit said this to me personally:

If I don’t serve Him with all my heart and soul, I will find myself following vain things—things which will not be of any benefit to me and they will not deliver me. Jesus will not ever forsake me. He has an investment me. Think of the great things He has done for me. He was happy to make me His own. The Holy Spirit will pray for me and teach me. He is saying, “Georgann, fear God, serve Him the way He wants to be served. Honor Him for all He has done for you.”

On my Bible tapes, I heard through Galatians 5 and 6: You cannot fool God. You will grow what you plant! If you plant your flesh, you will grow flesh—this pertains to my character as well as to my sons—do I want to grow flesh-filled kids or Spirit-filled kids??? HEAVY!

I am to press in to the Spirit and not stay in discouragement or weariness. I am to keep myself encouraged in Christ! I WILL REAP good fruit if I hang in there with Jesus all the way!