117- Dan Loves Me and Jesus Loves Me

117- Dan Loves Me, and Jesus Loves Me

December 1, 1983

Dan loves me. I believe him.

December 8

The Homemaking Bible Study today ended up being a very painful experience. Dan prayed for me. Perhaps the Lord will give me feedback. I praise God for His continual unfailing love.

December 9

I need a revelation about my personality. There is something I think God is trying to get across. Dan says I am alright.

December 10

I am trying to justify being snarky, moody, and sour. The scripture gives me no support whatsoever.

Psalm 34:13 Keep your tongue from evil

                   14 Seek peace and pursue it

Proverbs 12:15 There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health.

December 18

Dan confessed our relationship is not what it should be. That he has been working hard at other things and has been taking me for granted. Praise the Lord.

January 19, 1984

3am A dream woke me up. It was about a former relationship and was upsetting. I got up to tend the fire and make sure the boys were covered and I felt I should stay up and settle some things with God.

When I said to God: “Dan is just a man. How long can he love me?”

God said: “As long as I can love you!”

Dan belongs to God, the relationship is divinely ordained and divinely sustained. (we have always known that God brought us together) I got assurance that I need have NO FEAR of God’s or Dan’s love running out the more they get to know me. We both will keep putting wrongs at the foot of the cross. Jesus will give us ongoing love for Himself and one another.

116- God’s Revealed Will For Us

116- God’s Revealed Will

For Us

November 22, 1983

Dan has been heavy and burdened. Today I felt such compassion for the frustrations he was feeling and I asked God to please speak to Dan about His will for us. My best friend’s husband, Paul, came over to get some teaching tapes from us, totally out-of-the-blue, spontaneous, and unusual.

He knew we were reviving our interest in Dan getting more training so that we could get to Japan and fulfill our calling.

He had come primarily because he felt he had a word from the Lord for us:

“there is a family and a house waiting to receive you or in the process of being prepared for you. They will appreciate your strong commitment to the Lord and His work. Love is waiting for your family. The Lord is saying: go north, far north, and do not put off applying the school there. People there are professional, stable, mature.”

Dan took this word to heart and set to work on his application to Elim Bible Institute in upstate New York. We sent it off a few weeks later. He also applied himself to completing the finishing touches to our solar house so we could put it on the market.

Besides our pastor’s sermons and the books we were reading, many visiting speakers to our church fueled our enthusiasm in trusting in Jesus and living our lives full of faith in Him.

Anthony Campolo spoke at our church and we also listened to his messages on the Christian radio station, KNIS. Campolo said:

*it’s okay to be poor if it’s because you’ve given everything away.

*we need to cry over the things God cries over.

*be yielded and surrendered so Jesus can use you.

*Jesus didn’t preach prosperity.

Paul arriving with a word for us on the day I had prayed was remarkable. We had been waiting and praying for a breakthrough and this was it.

94- A Message That Became Prophetic

94- A Message That Became Prophetic

December 1982 Dan was asked by our pastor to speak one Sunday morning. These are my notes:

*self-centeredness is against God’s heart and God’s gospel

*Christ died for the church, for the kingdom, not just for me

*Romans 5 – Christ died for us

*Ephesians 5 – Christ gave Himself for the church

*Ephesians 1 – The church is the fullness of Him who fills all in all

*therefore we are not to love for ourselves

*be a servant, even if you work for a difficult taskmaster

*care not for ME

*do everything heartily as unto the Lord

Three months after this message we invited a family from our church to move into our home.

Continue reading “94- A Message That Became Prophetic”

92- Willing and Obedient

92- Willing and Obedient

December 11, 1982

Dan has been offered a position as program director at KNIS—full time! Could mean a move to Carson City. I’m sort of shaken.

We are on the brink of an adventure, a certain step of faith.

Guest speaker at church last night and this a.m. is Anthony Campolo. He is speaking on self-denial, sacrifice, giving, meekness, peacemaking, mourning over the world condition.

He was teaching us Jesus’ heart.

I have definitely come to appreciate Dan’s sincere and anointed edification of the saints on the radio. It’s not his own personality making it up. It’s a man seeking and serving a living , loving, worthy Lord, and sincerely encouraging others to do the same.

Moving is not my idea and it sounds hard. I do not care for the small town of Carson at all.

But I lay aside these for Your perfect and blessed will. That we might be in fellowship with You, that our boys would know You and Your reality.

December 12

Campolo got onto missions in today’s message.

He asked for full surrender and full commitment. Pastor Dave asked for hands of those interested in missions. 

He seemed to acknowledge Dan and I. Dan gave his testimony tonight at church and some teaching. It came off well, serious, sincere, Spirit-filled. Gene gathered everyone around us to pray for KNIS job and our lives and Pastor prayed for the missions interest to be confirmed, put together, and moved along.

ONLY BY YOU, LORD! My feet are cold; my faith is small, but I am willing and obedient.

Looking back, I am in awe that one dear friend prayed about the job offer, and our faithful Pastor picked up from the Spirit about the missions calling. God, You are amazing in how You work!

88- Not a tumbleweed, NOT ME!

88- Not a tumbleweed,

NOT ME!

What a lonely image–a tumble weed in the desert…

All of these verses are paraphrased, so I did not put them in blue.

October 7, 1982

Jeremiah 17  If I trust in man, I will be like a tumbleweed in the desert and inhabit parched places.

I am to be one who trusts and hopes in the Lord and the consequence is that I will be like a tree with deep roots by the river which bears fruit even in drought! Continue reading “88- Not a tumbleweed, NOT ME!”

85- Taking a Stand Against Anger

85- Taking a Stand Against Anger

October 5, 1982

Dearest Lord Jesus, I have been experiencing anger, manifesting in impatience and yelling, which has come up during this ‘squeeze’ of me trying to juggle my home life with a part-time job–I’ve gotten into a bad habit.

I have been grieved over this ugly sin of losing control of myself. Satan has made me feel condemned—and, in the twisted way we humans think, I find myself arguing with myself that I am justified in screaming in order to get control of the situation.

But last Sunday morning I missed church, two boys sick. Dan relayed the Pastor’s message to me, and he encouraged me, and we read scripture together.

Dan said he had taken a stand against anger. One day he realized  he’d been enjoying anger and making clear choices to engage in it and decided that was not how he wanted to live—I had to agree with him, his story is my story.

Now, for 2 ½ days I have been experiencing victory in Your precious name, Jesus. I have many times made the conscious willful choice to be joyful, to be loving—and have not fallen into anger.

Tim-Mark-Steve, our wonderful sons-

The boys have been inside the house and ill, so I stopped my life and ministered to them which cut the stress a lot by not trying to do too much housework. Thank You, Jesus. May it please You to continue to give me this resolve to stand against the temptations to fall into anger.

78- Answered Prayer, Unanswered Prayer

78- Answered Prayers, Unanswered Prayers

Mark about 5 months old

Because my Aunt Ida was in critical condition in the hospital, Mark and I flew to Oxnard to visit her. Although she was a serious Catholic I was not sure if she had made her peace with God through Jesus.

 

August 1, 1982

I feel the need to be purposeful and specific in prayer during this visit home….great spiritual battle for Ida’s soul.

*get to the hospital in time    YES  [meaning: before she died. I did!]

*see Aunt Ida, be able to talk to her alone    YES

*Mark sleep well   YES

*Mark and I stay healthy   MOSTLY

*encourage Connie regarding her faith in Christ   YES

*have special time with Connie      YES

*pray specifically daily   YES

*memorize John 5:24   NO

*do discipleship book daily or twice daily   NO

*have time with Marsha, love her     YES

*be glorified through me to my parents   ?hope so!

*talk to Nancy   NO

*talk to Jane   YES

*talk to nurses   NO

*talk to fellow travelers   YES   YES   YES!

*receive specific knowledge, verses about Dan, our family, raising the boys   NO

*ample opportunity to talk to Uncle Larry   NO

*boldness from the Spirit –moving in evangelism and mercy for Larry   NO

*a decision for Christ from Larry   NO

*clear ‘word’ for Ida from You   NO –I had to wear a surgical mask because of my sore throat and she had trouble understanding me

*Dan strengthened at home, consistent with boys, able to get them to our friends easily for babysitting each day   YES, it seems to have gone very well.

It looks like Dad even had time to cut the boys’ hair.