286 – Pride Speaks Out of My Mouth

286 – Pride Speaks

Out of My Mouth

January 7, 1988

INSIGHT: It just occurred to me that when I do NOT understand a story about Jesus or am offended by His words to someone in the Bible—that I am being a Pharisee! If I REALLY believed He was God—anything I did not understand I would merely set aside and ask Him for insight, respectfully—because He IS GOD!!

But to scoff or judge is saying: “because I don’t understand, You are wrong, God.”

It is putting me and my intellect ABOVE Almighty God!!!!!

And then I think, “Well, I don’t respect Him when He acts in rude ways—who does He think He is?—God?” YES!

Proverbs 8:8 (wisdom speaking) All of the utterances of my mouth are in righteousness, there is nothing crooked or perverted in them.

This is referring to all the utterances of God’s mouth are righteous, not ever crooked or perverted.

And what about this:

The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; pride and arrogance and the evil way and the perverse mouth I hate. Proverbs 8:13

Well, I guess I feel like a fool. But, God does not push me away –ever!

YOU ARE GOD. You can do ANY thing You want in my life. I ask to be content with what You bring and to recognize what is not of You. I repent of the pride that has been so arrogant before You, and ask that You would make this a life-changing insight. Thank You in advance, Holy Spirit, for it.

285 – Jesus is the Only Way to God

285 – Jesus is the

Only Way to God

December 22, 1987

Mom called. She said Uncle Phil was depressed by Connie’s and my notes to him. [Connie were both very concerned that he was near death and did not know Jesus.] Mom said that he is a very religious man and to challenge his faith was not right. “We all have our own beliefs and we are all sure we’re going to heaven.”

She said she and daddy were offended by all the times I say, God loves you. “We know God loves us!”

Well, I was greatly under attack, wavering, and was greatly shaken. I prayed and cried a little. Then the mail came. Eric and Susie had sent $100.

“We were at the Pastor’s Conference and an offering was taken for a missionary’s work in Japan. Eric said he wanted to give their offering TO US for OUR work in Japan!”

What a vote of confidence from our good friends! What a statement from the Lord! I was so BLESSED! I AM on target. JESUS IS THE WAY! JESUS IS THE ONLY WAY! I WILL NOT BE SHAKEN!! We also received $153 from our Reno church friends, and $20 from Eva. 

I was up at 2am and could not go back to sleep. Worried. Prayed. I feel their denying Christ as the ‘only way’ will come to a head for them. I pray Phil understands he needs to surrender his life to Jesus.

Aunt Ginger and Uncle Phil wrote a nice letter in which they told me they will not convert from their own beliefs.

Now Phil is in the hospital with a foot nearing amputation, the circulation is so bad. Will all of this come to a head? Only God knows.

Jesus said to him, “I am the , the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” John 14:6

277 – New Faith Territory

277 – New Faith Territory

August 31, 1987

Talked to mom, and she encouraged me to let Timmy go have the experiences that will be offered to him in the public school. She related how difficult it was for her to let us go to school, to college, to leave home!! THAT HELPED!!

And I finally got to talk to Donna’s friend, Diane. She called me four times and finally reached me at 9:30 pm! She pursued!! I was impressed.

She faced this same trauma of letting her children ‘go’ last January. They left the Christian school and went to the public school. She has nothing negative to say about it. She said the principal is a born again Christian! She and her husband have even prayed with him! He only hires teachers with high moral standards. He has strong convictions. PRAISE THE LORD! She even said to pray about Stevie going to school also because the first grade teacher is a Christian man who is excellent with the kids. So we are praying.

God, you are setting me free by loving me, leading me gently. You are explaining, comforting, encouraging me. You are wonderful. WONDERFUL…

So, Timmy was released by Dan and I to go to public school. He loved it every day. Steve stayed home with us and we hired a woman to tutor him in reading, and he excelled. The Lord provided a prayer partner who was an Elim friend, Barb. She and I prayed passionately for our sons almost every day on the phone. They both came through unscathed.

O you of little faith, why did you doubt? Matthew 14:31

I doubted because my Lord was taking me into brand new territory!

(v 32 – sort of) And when Georgann got into the boat AND TRUSTED JESUS, the wind stopped!

God always meets me when I come to Him. I just have to stay connected for the journey of faith.

272 – God Always Meets Me

272 -God Always Meets Me

August 13, 1987

I was in a deep quandary about homeschooling. I cried out to my Lord:

Be gracious to me, O Lord, for to Thee I cry ALL DAY LONG. In the day of my trouble I shall call upon Thee’ for Thou wilt answer me. There is NO ONE like Thee among the gods, O Lord; nor are there any works like Thine. Psalm 86:3,7

Mike, dean of married students, made an appointment to meet with us and came to our house. He asked us to be home group leaders. He also wanted to discuss homeschooling. Last year a homeschool family had caused havoc and ended up in court! He loves our testimony of homeschooling and he said that Elim would back our decision to homeschool UNLESS it went against the school district’s recommendations (which is what the other family had done). Here’s the rub: because of their scores on the SAT test, the district wanted Tim and Steve enrolled. I told Mike and he and Dan agreed it would be a good idea to enroll the boys in September. I was horrified.

I went to the Lord, crying, pouring out my heart to the Lord, trying to wrap my head around sending my sons away to school. (The school was in reality just a short walk across the field behind our house).

Then I went to the Word. Nothing really made clear sense in Matthew 10 and 11 that I could relate to our situation. Then the Lord met me with His words:

Matthew 12:25 Any kingdom divided against itself is laid waste; and any city or house divided against itself cannot stand.

Matt 14:25 TAKE COURAGE, IT IS I, DO NOT BE AFRAID!

We can not afford to send the boys to Christian school. So it was important that I surrender and not cause havoc in our home by my stubbornness. I needed to give in, honor my husband, and trust God for our sons’ welfare. And I needed to not be fearful but trust Him.

This brought clarity and the peace of the Holy Spirit. Not that I did not waffle in the days ahead–I did, and so did Dan.

271 – Free Travel, Vending Machines and Law Suits

271 – Free Travel, Vending Machines, and Lawsuits

July 31, 1987

We just got back from two full weeks in Reno. Jan and Jim sold their vacation trailer and took up a collection at church to pay for our family’s plane tickets. WOW! We were humbled. Bob and Janet were on vacation and gave us their house to use! To top it off my parents came to town for a 3-day visit. We saw friends and family; we were loved and gave love.

August 10

We came back to Livonia to the reality of three lawsuits: Dan’s passenger, Brian; the owner of the Hostess Cupcake truck; and Elizabeth the driver of the truck.

I read in Matt 5:40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also.

It was God’s word, and amazing that I ‘just happened’ to read it today.

But it was not very comforting.

August 14

On a family outing we stopped in a gas station along the highway. Inside the bathroom some obscene materials were offered for sale from a vending machine. I felt conscience-bound to call the corporate head of the gas station company for making the materials available.

I wrote out what I was going to say and respectfully told the top-guy my concerns.

Once I cried spontaneously (for the children who have seen this type of machine in a public place). The man I was talking to said, “I understand, believe me!” I followed up with a letter and included the gospel message. I felt so free and relieved afterward.

264 – Keeping It All in God’s Hands

264 – Keeping It All

in God’s Hands

April 8, 1987

On Monday Dan and I looked at our prayer list and prayed our prayer list. We could line all of these things up as pros and cons regarding going back to Reno or staying here (yes, we are still waffling), but we asked the Lord that we could just HEAR HIS VOICE CLEARLY AND KNOW HIS WILL.

WE WILL TRUST HIM WITH ALL OF THE DETAILS.

To me this is the walk of faith. Keeping everything in God’s hands. Keeping everything in prayer. Seeking His will until He reveals it to me.

Oswald Chambers*: Jesus Christ says: “I have chosen YOU!” It’s not that you have got God, but that He has got you!!…He will do with you what He is not doing with other people. Let Him have His way.

Through relationship with Jesus we find out His plan, and in the power of the Spirit we walk it out.

After chapel I stayed for communion which was heavy with Your Presence.

Jesus fervently desired to eat Passover with His disciples although He knew them so well and knew that they would fail Him and lose faith. (Luke 22:15…)

He fervently desires relationship with me, knowing my past, knowing my future.

Cheryl and Tracey and I prayed together for the power to do what He is calling us to do—and for discipline to spend time with Him so we can know His voice and so that we won’t run out in the flesh and ‘serve God’ and wipe out. We prayed also regarding our husbands. We agreed to meet back at communion next Tuesday to give account to each other of how we did with this.

* I did not reference in my journal where I got Oswald’s quote.

257 – More Time with My Boys

257 – More Time

with My Boys

February 4, 1987

I woke up at 2:30am concerned about Stevie, feeling I’m so busy I don’t just sit and listen and play with him and his brothers. I had a few ideas on how to help each of them: an old idea that each boy could get a turn to go alone with Dan , then with me the next time, to the diner down the street, for a milkshake or something. Walk, hold hands, chat.

also: I could ask Carleen if I could bring one boy at a time to spend the morning with her boys while I am at class at Elim.

also: skip a homeschool subject once in a while to play a game with one boy.

May God help me. Why do I know He will? He always does.

Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. Psalm 37:5

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Psalm 37:23

255 – He Must Prune Me

255 – He Must Prune Me

January 24, 1987

By God’s wonderful and bountiful grace, I was 1 ½ hours in prayer from 5-6:30am.

This seems crystal clear:

John 15:2 Every branch that does not bear fruit He takes away – anger, selfishness, egocentricity – and every branch that bears fruit He prunes it that it may bear more fruit,

I see that my ministry with children (in public school) bore fruit—but all of these succeeding years have been a pruning process to get me out of me and into Him so that MORE fruit can come to His glory and honor and use.

Although today he prunes my twigs with pain,

Yet doth his blood nourish and warm my root:

Tomorrow I shall put forth buds again

and clothe myself with fruit.      -Christina Rosetti

238 – The Wonderful and Wondrous Christian Life

238 – The Wonderful and Wondrous Christian Life

December 6, 1986

On Monday we had a neat experience of seeing God work.

I suspected I had a bladder infection. Dan gave permission to go to the doctor. (The question is always—do we have the cash to cover it?)

Josie, our neighbor, needed to get to Avon to pick up her car in the shop.

I tried the doctor’s office for 20-25 minutes, praying for God to supply a same-day appointment.

Also praying for a ride to work out.

Got an 11am appointment.

The idea came to borrow Sue Skiff’s car. She was working at ShurFine, the grocery store down the street.

In her rental car, Josie took us to ShurFine (the boys and I got ready miraculously quickly and efficiently, packing color book and crayons and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and apples). They also had a big toast and jelly snack while I was bustling around.

We brought Josie’s rental car back to our yard after we picked up Sue’s car.

Then we went to Avon.

Dropped Josie off at the car place.

Drove to Honeyoe Falls.

Got to the docs at 3 minutes to 11.

Barely room to sit in the waiting room.

We were all in good spirits and they were model kids. Praise YOU, Lord!

Read a story, all of them crowded around me.

I left the kids to give a urine sample. I was then called in.

The boys colored outside my door (end of the hall, in no one’s way).

I had to change to a gown for the exam.

Tim took Danny to the restroom. They had to go down to the doctor’s bathroom in the basement because a patient had passed out in front of the restroom on our floor.

We went to the front desk to pay. Timmy pointed out Tracey Belcastro, who needed love and prayer!! Praise God.

To the pharmacy.

Back to ShurFine to get Sue. She was off at 1 and we got there at 5 minutes till!!

Had time to get more hot dogs for dinner and $5 to give her for gas, which blessed her.

We blessed each other.

Josie and I blessed each other.

Tracey and I blessed each other.

The boys and I blessed each other.

PRAISE AND GLORY TO YOU, LORD!

This is just how I wrote it in my journal. I was 41 years old, full of simple faith in Jesus. And loving living that way.

236 – A Dramatic November

236 – A Dramatic November

November 26, 1986

Mark and Brian were Dan’s passengers in the car accident. Mark, a single guy living at home, went back to school the next day, sore and still shaken, but uninjured. His friendship with Dan stood strong. Brian, who had been in the front seat, had suffered a concussion and had endured the worst of the impact. He was married. He was not angry or blaming Dan.

Dan and I visited Brian and Mark in their homes last night. We had good fellowship with both of them.

We went to see the driver of the Hostess Cupcake truck, Elizabeth, who was still in the hospital. She was not interested in hearing ANYTHING we had to say. She was angry, rude, and defensive. It hurt Dan that he could not make amends with her. We are praying for her.

The month of November had been very dramatic and traumatic.

Jimmy, our neighbor, former home group leader, and Dan’s very good friend, was in the hospital. Dan went to see him so often that our next pay check was slim. Dan thought he could help Jimmy recover and regain his mental and physical health and get back into the school routine. God finally gave Dan a vision that warned him to stay away, that his involvement would in the long run do no good at all. Wow! It was a real vision with a picture of a vacuum and Dan being sucked down into it. Receiving a vision from God in itself was impactful and made it seem imperative that we heed it.

Dan had never been in a serious car accident. And to be the cause of it was mind-blowing. We got lots of support, we were not standing alone.

My journal indicates that we received $1800 from the insurance company for the totaled Suburban. We also received $600 from Penny, a missionary. That meant we could pay our bills and put money toward our next vehicle.

We may trust Him fully, all for us to do;
They who trust Him wholly find Him wholly true*.

*lyrics from the song Like a River Glorious, by Frances Havergal, 1876