286 – Pride Speaks Out of My Mouth

286 – Pride Speaks

Out of My Mouth

January 7, 1988

INSIGHT: It just occurred to me that when I do NOT understand a story about Jesus or am offended by His words to someone in the Bible—that I am being a Pharisee! If I REALLY believed He was God—anything I did not understand I would merely set aside and ask Him for insight, respectfully—because He IS GOD!!

But to scoff or judge is saying: “because I don’t understand, You are wrong, God.”

It is putting me and my intellect ABOVE Almighty God!!!!!

And then I think, “Well, I don’t respect Him when He acts in rude ways—who does He think He is?—God?” YES!

Proverbs 8:8 (wisdom speaking) All of the utterances of my mouth are in righteousness, there is nothing crooked or perverted in them.

This is referring to all the utterances of God’s mouth are righteous, not ever crooked or perverted.

And what about this:

The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; pride and arrogance and the evil way and the perverse mouth I hate. Proverbs 8:13

Well, I guess I feel like a fool. But, God does not push me away –ever!

YOU ARE GOD. You can do ANY thing You want in my life. I ask to be content with what You bring and to recognize what is not of You. I repent of the pride that has been so arrogant before You, and ask that You would make this a life-changing insight. Thank You in advance, Holy Spirit, for it.

285 – Jesus is the Only Way to God

285 – Jesus is the

Only Way to God

December 22, 1987

Mom called. She said Uncle Phil was depressed by Connie’s and my notes to him. [Connie were both very concerned that he was near death and did not know Jesus.] Mom said that he is a very religious man and to challenge his faith was not right. “We all have our own beliefs and we are all sure we’re going to heaven.”

She said she and daddy were offended by all the times I say, God loves you. “We know God loves us!”

Well, I was greatly under attack, wavering, and was greatly shaken. I prayed and cried a little. Then the mail came. Eric and Susie had sent $100.

“We were at the Pastor’s Conference and an offering was taken for a missionary’s work in Japan. Eric said he wanted to give their offering TO US for OUR work in Japan!”

What a vote of confidence from our good friends! What a statement from the Lord! I was so BLESSED! I AM on target. JESUS IS THE WAY! JESUS IS THE ONLY WAY! I WILL NOT BE SHAKEN!! We also received $153 from our Reno church friends, and $20 from Eva. 

I was up at 2am and could not go back to sleep. Worried. Prayed. I feel their denying Christ as the ‘only way’ will come to a head for them. I pray Phil understands he needs to surrender his life to Jesus.

Aunt Ginger and Uncle Phil wrote a nice letter in which they told me they will not convert from their own beliefs.

Now Phil is in the hospital with a foot nearing amputation, the circulation is so bad. Will all of this come to a head? Only God knows.

Jesus said to him, “I am the , the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” John 14:6

283 – He is Wonderful!

283 -He is Wonderful!

December 8, 1987

We just received $500 from &&& in the mail! It came with two specifications:

*don’t tell anyone [30 years later I will still honor their request]

*it’s for Christmas only—so the boys will have lots of gifts under the tree

*it’s for food and your needs.

PRAISE THE LORD!

My first thoughts were for things that money can’t buy:

*I want a loving heart and control over my tongue

*the boys to be more manageable

*for Bema to be well

*for my dad to be well

*time to crochet all kinds of towels for Christmas gifts

I am remembering that Ben Dodzweit said, if you need money, GIVE. And we have. And it came back many-fold.

I got up really early. I had prayed for God to let me. I prayed and walked. And I was at the Laundromat by 6:45! You are wonderful! WONDERFUL!!

Blessed is that man who makes the Lord his trust….Many, O Lord my God, are Your wonderful works which You have done; and Your thoughts toward us cannot be recounted to You in order; if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered.

Psalm 40:4a,5

281 – A Death and a Near Death

281– A Death

and a Near Death

Our friend from Reno, a single man, Jim, had come for a weekend visit in August. We had introduced him to Eva, a single lady on staff at the school. They had seemed to ‘click’ and had stayed in touch.

November 29, 1987

Yesterday Pastor Dave called to say that Jim died in Brazil on his mining trip. We are slowly getting over the shock and trying to get in touch with Eva. I sought the Lord and He gave me:

Let not your heart be troubled…. In My Father’s house are many mansions….I go and prepare a place for you. John 14: 2-3

As unsettling as sudden death is, Jim is safe with Jesus and I am not to worry. But grieving is good. We weep with those who weep. This was so jarring and upsetting and we will miss our friend so much. It seemed so wrong. To add to our sorrow, we found out later that there may have been foul play against him.

December 4

Mom called and Dad is in intensive care with a bleeding ulcer. He is in ICU and is so weak that visits must be kept short.

“I want to go home!”

But I cannot. Marsha, Connie, and Aunt Virgi are with Mom. I called Joan, Barb, Donna, Karen, Diane, Eva—to pray! Later Virgi told us the doctor said daddy had lost half of his blood. Praise God for modern medicine and blood transfusions.

Our God is the God of salvation; and to God the Lord belong escapes from death. Psalm 68:20

Why did one dear person die and one dear person live?

I have learned to put questions like this in a Mystery box. God will reveal the answers at some point in this life or in eternal life. I do not have to understand everything. For my sanity, my part is to trust Him without wavering. Every thing will become clear.

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23

277 – New Faith Territory

277 – New Faith Territory

August 31, 1987

Talked to mom, and she encouraged me to let Timmy go have the experiences that will be offered to him in the public school. She related how difficult it was for her to let us go to school, to college, to leave home!! THAT HELPED!!

And I finally got to talk to Donna’s friend, Diane. She called me four times and finally reached me at 9:30 pm! She pursued!! I was impressed.

She faced this same trauma of letting her children ‘go’ last January. They left the Christian school and went to the public school. She has nothing negative to say about it. She said the principal is a born again Christian! She and her husband have even prayed with him! He only hires teachers with high moral standards. He has strong convictions. PRAISE THE LORD! She even said to pray about Stevie going to school also because the first grade teacher is a Christian man who is excellent with the kids. So we are praying.

God, you are setting me free by loving me, leading me gently. You are explaining, comforting, encouraging me. You are wonderful. WONDERFUL…

So, Timmy was released by Dan and I to go to public school. He loved it every day. Steve stayed home with us and we hired a woman to tutor him in reading, and he excelled. The Lord provided a prayer partner who was an Elim friend, Barb. She and I prayed passionately for our sons almost every day on the phone. They both came through unscathed.

O you of little faith, why did you doubt? Matthew 14:31

I doubted because my Lord was taking me into brand new territory!

(v 32 – sort of) And when Georgann got into the boat AND TRUSTED JESUS, the wind stopped!

God always meets me when I come to Him. I just have to stay connected for the journey of faith.

273 – Interrogation

273 – Interrogation 

August 19, 1987

Bema was an 80 year old woman who lived in a cute green house with yellow-trimmed shutters directly across the street from us. She was Leslie’s and Julie’s mother, and the boys’ friend Chris’s grandmother. The daughters would gather daily to visit with their mom on the small patio. Bema and I really liked each other and oftentimes she would venture an opinion.

Yesterday Bema brought us home from Bingo at the rest home and voiced her concerns about homeschooling. She had decided that third grade was getting over my head when I‘d only taught first grade. What about preparation time and having the kids underfoot all day, every day?

I told her that I’d taught first, second, and third grades, and said just the right things, thank the Lord. I was surprised and caught off guard, but did not get defensive.

Just then Markie fell in the street while crossing it to get to our house. Praise God. I was forced, I should say– I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY, to leave the uncomfortable situation quickly.

Later in the evening Leslie came over with more questions about homeschooling. She had been sitting with Bema and Julie on Bema’s patio, probably chitchatting about us! I felt quizzed and uncomfortable. They were prying and I was trying to act like a Christian. This small town living is having its challenges.

Their concern was the prevailing attitude of the 80’s: how can a mom be smart enough and together enough to teach her kids at home, especially when there’s a bunch of them and they are all ages. AND how audacious are you to keep your children at home when they need the socializing that school offers.

All I knew was that the Lord had led me very clearly, Dan had agreed (reluctantly at first, but then wholeheartedly) and God had given me the verse: And when he brings out his own sheep,  he goes before them; and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice.  John 10:5

We did not want the boys to follow just any voice.

I had felt assurance that Jesus was with us in this endeavor.

271 – Free Travel, Vending Machines and Law Suits

271 – Free Travel, Vending Machines, and Lawsuits

July 31, 1987

We just got back from two full weeks in Reno. Jan and Jim sold their vacation trailer and took up a collection at church to pay for our family’s plane tickets. WOW! We were humbled. Bob and Janet were on vacation and gave us their house to use! To top it off my parents came to town for a 3-day visit. We saw friends and family; we were loved and gave love.

August 10

We came back to Livonia to the reality of three lawsuits: Dan’s passenger, Brian; the owner of the Hostess Cupcake truck; and Elizabeth the driver of the truck.

I read in Matt 5:40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also.

It was God’s word, and amazing that I ‘just happened’ to read it today.

But it was not very comforting.

August 14

On a family outing we stopped in a gas station along the highway. Inside the bathroom some obscene materials were offered for sale from a vending machine. I felt conscience-bound to call the corporate head of the gas station company for making the materials available.

I wrote out what I was going to say and respectfully told the top-guy my concerns.

Once I cried spontaneously (for the children who have seen this type of machine in a public place). The man I was talking to said, “I understand, believe me!” I followed up with a letter and included the gospel message. I felt so free and relieved afterward.

267 – We Are Being Sifted

267 – We Are Being Sifted

April 9, 1987

I drove into Lima for our home school gathering. A church marquee said:

           April 5, 1987  UNBOUND

THAT WAS MY BIRTHDAY! I feel that was for me!

Yesterday I got:

ARISE [from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you; rise to a new life]!

SHINE – be radiant with the glory of the Lord;

for your light is come and the glory of the Lord is risen upon you!  Isaiah 60:1 (Amplified)

The sheriff came while we were in Lima with a summons! Dan’s passenger in the November car accident is suing our insurance company because Brian did not feel he got enough wage compensation during his recovery period. Funny thing—the people who were going to support him didn’t. I pray he will see clearly to drop the suit.

And the Lord said,[a] “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat.  But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.” Luke 22:31-32

We are being sifted.

Check from Life Center in Reno for $55 which is our grocery money for TODAY’s shopping! Praise Jesus!

Bill and Carol sent $10 and a letter. Bless them!

Gregg and Cheryl gave $40 for Dan and I to go out to dinner to celebrate my birthday.

264 – Keeping It All in God’s Hands

264 – Keeping It All

in God’s Hands

April 8, 1987

On Monday Dan and I looked at our prayer list and prayed our prayer list. We could line all of these things up as pros and cons regarding going back to Reno or staying here (yes, we are still waffling), but we asked the Lord that we could just HEAR HIS VOICE CLEARLY AND KNOW HIS WILL.

WE WILL TRUST HIM WITH ALL OF THE DETAILS.

To me this is the walk of faith. Keeping everything in God’s hands. Keeping everything in prayer. Seeking His will until He reveals it to me.

Oswald Chambers*: Jesus Christ says: “I have chosen YOU!” It’s not that you have got God, but that He has got you!!…He will do with you what He is not doing with other people. Let Him have His way.

Through relationship with Jesus we find out His plan, and in the power of the Spirit we walk it out.

After chapel I stayed for communion which was heavy with Your Presence.

Jesus fervently desired to eat Passover with His disciples although He knew them so well and knew that they would fail Him and lose faith. (Luke 22:15…)

He fervently desires relationship with me, knowing my past, knowing my future.

Cheryl and Tracey and I prayed together for the power to do what He is calling us to do—and for discipline to spend time with Him so we can know His voice and so that we won’t run out in the flesh and ‘serve God’ and wipe out. We prayed also regarding our husbands. We agreed to meet back at communion next Tuesday to give account to each other of how we did with this.

* I did not reference in my journal where I got Oswald’s quote.

253 – We Are Getting Revived

253 – We Are Getting Revived

January 14, 1987 up early

Today I begin my class at Elim, Cults and World Religions, taught by Ruth Rodriquez. I believe she is the only woman on staff here, and she requested to be addressed as Sister Ruth. I have been nervous, but quickly turning to God as I try to imagine how this will be accomplished since I feel I am already over-extended. But just now in prayer I got a confidence and peace from God that He will do it as I pray desperately about all areas and keep it all in His hands. Bless You, Father.

Woman where are they? Did no one condemn you? And she said No one, Lord. And Jesus said, Neither do I condemn you; go your way; from now on sin no more. John 8:10

As I am considering this verse, Jesus does not condemn me—ever, for any reason. I am not to denounce myself. Ever, for any reason. Just take it all to Him.

Later in the evening: I am realizing that my husband and my God have given me a beautiful gift: Tuesday and Thursday mornings away from my routine so I can be at Elim. Studying, being with adults, learning. Today, I felt a little bit like a fish out of water, but I believe I will very quickly get used to being at Elim for my class and then chapel from 11-12. Today chapel was all praising and worshipping. Nice.

January 21

So much has been happening, I cannot record it all. But the Lord is reviving Dan and I.

The verse in Haggai reminded me that our obedience and reverence for the Lord results in the Lord stirring up the spirits of those in our household. (Haggai 1:1-14)

Yesterday at chapel a man from Uganda spoke, encouraging us to not grow weary, to not be satisfied with where we are in Christ. He exhorted us to hunger for a deeper walk. Also, to lay our foundation in Jesus Christ solidly. The church in Uganda is flourishing, sin is diminishing. They are founded in CHRIST.

The stone which the builders rejected has become the chief corner stone. Psalm 118:22

Jesus said to them, “Did you never read in the Scriptures, ‘THE STONE WHICH THE BUILDERS REJECTED, THIS BECAME THE CHIEF CORNERSTONE; THIS CAME ABOUT FROM THE LORD, AND IT IS MARVELOUS IN OUR EYES’? Matthew 21:42

[Jesus as the Rock is also found in Mark 12:10; Luke 2:17; Acts 4:11; Romans 9:33; 1 Peter 2:7 and other places.]