204 ~ A Continual Choice

204 – A Continual Choice

July 25, 1986

Leslie came over and talked some more. Her deceased husband was a troubled soul, she said. She and Chris (her son) are devastated. May You guard my mouth at all times by giving me wisdom and discernment, Lord!

I called the Superintendent’s office and got him! I explained yesterday’s last-minute cancellation. He sounded compassionate. But he also seemed stern and businesslike.

July 30

Depression and fear have been hovering around me because it feels like the Superintendent holds power over me!

I realized on my walk that I can embrace God and walk with Him or I can choose an anxious and negative attitude and darkness.

Today I will meet with the Superintendent at 9am.

I have been reading daily in Exodus. Then on Sunday at church I was convicted of not being in the Word enough, so I decided to read daily in the New Testament as well.

This morning I got:

1 Peter:13 Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority…

 15 for such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men.

Romans 13:1 Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.

These verses enabled me to be humble and submissive during the important meeting, not defensive and afraid. I will trust that You will use this man and his position for the best course we are to take.

Lord, that was amazing that I got those two verses on this exact day without having any other purpose but to hear Your voice. Amazing!

Thank You for reminding me of Your viewpoint about the world’s structure and my place in it! Thank You that I am able to hear you speak and by Your grace follow Your leading!

202 ~ I Threw Myself On the Lord

202 – I Threw Myself On the Lord

July 18, 1986

During my early morning walk I prayed to be able to have discernment about the enemy and have victory over my flesh when I find myself rising up and taking the enemy’s bait! And did I ever need that prayer….

The boys were across the street hanging out with their friends. Dan and I went to Beulah’s to pick up the kids so we could take them to the 4-H meeting. The ladies were gossiping, actually slandering someone. Praise God I kept out of it.

Then at the school where the meeting was, I became fearful and angry about something.

Then after we got home, sorrow came upon me because I had no car to use to get Dan a birthday gift.

Then disgust because the flour canister had a huge ant in it so I could not bake for him.

I THREW MYSELF ON THE LORD, making sure the boys were well occupied in the playroom.

Loneliness and lack of control over my life, overwhelmed me.

I almost called Karen for prayer support, because I don’t even have a prayer partner here! –amazingly, restraint came because it would have been a very unwise use of money.

BUT GOD SAVED ME! without my calling anyone.

Peace came from God. My problems disappeared. We (the boys and I) would accept what we could not change and make do.

Then my mom called! GLORY!

Then my neighbor, Janet, came over and offered me her car!!

So I piled the boys in to the car and we went to the store and bought what we needed.

I had a major personal victory, and God worked mightily on my behalf! BLESS YOU, LORD!

The impact: self pity, a victim spirit, fearfulness, anger, loneliness, overwhelmingness—none of those things interfere with my relationship with the Lord if I just turn to Him and throw myself on His always-available mercy and grace.

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. Hebrews 4:16

197 – Let Them Go?

197 – Let Them Go?

July 3, 1986

But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. Romans 8:11-12

My spirit wants to be free of the bondage of the flesh. My spirit wants to get up EARLY, be loving, teach my children the Word of God and the ways of Jesus Christ, honor my husband.

But my flesh is strongly advancing its own causes: sleep, more rest, say what’s in front of my brain without control, be bossy, be controlling….

July 4

I heard again, Let my people go, that they may serve Me. Exodus 9:1

Is this You, Lord, talking about me letting the boys go to public school??? I feel greatly concerned about this. I know I am not meeting my high expectations of homeschooling, but to let them go into the world?…..

I met Stevie’s Vacation Bible School teacher and she is involved in court proceedings over homeschooling her children! THAT is NOT interesting to me AT ALL.

But to let them go???

Last night Dan and I let Timmy and Stevie go with Mrs. West, our next door neighbor, to see fireworks at her cottage at the lake. They left at 8:45 in the evening and returned at 11:15pm.

Once I had FINALLY made the decision that YES they could go, God gave me TOTAL peace. Getting past the vain imaginations and fears was HORRIBLE!!

Is there more letting go, Lord? Prepare my heart!

189 – What Goes Around Comes Around and the Lord Provides

189 – What Goes Around Comes Around

and the Lord Provides

May 28, 1986

Today one of our church friends, Pam P, brought her sons to our house to play with the boys while our goal was to mend and sew. Actually, I tended the kids, changed bobbins, made popcorn, passed out popsicles, while she pinned and patched rips in Levis and sewed sleeping bag liners on the machine. Dan figured the kids might not be showering every night as we travel across the country and that liners would help preserve their sleeping bags.

Pam mentioned our clothes would be inadequate for the frigid winter that we were headed for in upstate NY. She said her husband’s uncle was a furrier and that he had given her a beautiful fur coat that was amazingly warm. She offered it to me.

She had an interesting story about the fur coat, which she felt proved that God had actually saved that coat for me!

Two years ago they tried to sell the fur coat at a garage sale and it did not sell. The proceeds of that sale paid their rent. The next month they still had no money, and wrote a check by faith which they could not cover.  An envelope arrived with money in it and a return address which they later realized was the church’s post office box number. The message inside said, “God cares for His own.” Their rent check did not bounce, and she said it really built their faith.

WE SENT THAT MONEY TO THEM! I remember clearly Dan putting $350 cash in an envelope with the note I typed! Of course I didn’t tell her, but here she was serving me in my time of need and promising me her beautiful fur coat! She said they had never told anyone, that only God knew! 

Yesterday a note and money came from Bonnie M—another person in our church we had given money to when they were in a pinch.

God is reminding me—freely freely you gave, open your hands to receive blessings NOW ! Don’t hesitate in any way to say YES to every blessing God sends your way!

When we prayed tonight, Dan teared up.

188- “Moving East?”

188- “Moving East?”

May 3, 1986

The church had given us a SUBURBAN, as a thank you gift to Dan for his work on building the church (and for my long suffering support of him!).

Our plan was to drive the Suburban across the US and to primarily camp out each night in our huge army tent and stay occasionally in motels. On my prayer list was our need for a way to get our furniture and belongings to our new place.

Our friend, Jan, called about an ad she saw in the local paper.

A Reno High School teacher was going to Cleveland, Ohio with a large truck to pick up a backhoe and wanted to take a load of stuff for someone who would pay his gas money! He had some large shipping crates. 4 ft wide x 8 ft high x 12 feet long.

Dan said we could fill three of them with our washer, dryer, fridge, dining room table, chairs, bunk beds, toys, and boxes of household items and clothes. The man wanted $600-$800 for gas money and said he would call us back by May 25. His plan was to leave June 5. The ad will run another week. He’d had 10 calls already. PRAISE GOD! THY WILL BE DONE!

This was a total Godsend! He chose us! Prayer and prayer support is amazing!

He dropped off the cartons, we packed them. We took the scenic route, he drove direct. He left Reno after we did and arrived in front of our house in Livonia, NY, 30 minutes before we rolled into the driveway!!! (No cell phones then, no coordination but God.)

Men from the school came to help Dan do the unloading!

This is one of our most favorite miracles of all the ones God has done for us!

186- Bible Principles

186- Bible Principles

April 17, 1986

Genesis 12:1-2 Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go forth from your country, and from your relatives, and from your father’s house, to the land which I shall show you…and I will bless you…and so you shall be a blessing.

Holy Spirit, precious Comforter and Encourager and Teacher, You are going to have to help me believe that these verses are truly for us. I am so easily shaken. But I saw You build me up in my most holy faith on Sunday through taking me aside to read Smith Wigglesworth and on Monday through praying with Karen and Jackie. I beseech You today to greatly increase my faith and help me to be assured that this is our call and then give me the grace to accept Your details, Your pressures, Your timing. I praise You. I want no idols before me, but I so want You and Your will.

Genesis 14:17 God sent Melchizekek to bless Abram.

God send Your man to bless Dan. Bless him. Anoint him with oil. Prophecy over him. Move, I humbly ask, by Your precious Spirit, on Dan at the prayer meeting right now. His feet are in the Jordan but he does not SEE that the waters are parted for us. Please move through Your servants at that meeting. I ask that the wonderful hand of our God would verify to Dan and the group that the waters are parted, that we are on schedule. Give forth direction, Lord. I pray in Jesus’ name.

(it didn’t happen this day this way, but it did happen!)

180- New York is On Our Minds

180- New York is

 On Our Minds

January 27, 1986

Were we supposed to wait on God and keep waiting?  Or were we supposed to grab His hand by faith and go forward with Him? We had already been delayed a year and a half. We were ready to leave home, friends, church, city, and launch out into our preparation for our calling to be missionaries to Japan.

Dan and I agreed that we are to begin planning to go to Elim.

We also believed that there is wisdom in counsel.

…in the multitude of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 11:17

I asked Jeanette, Betty, and Bev to pray. Dan had already talked to several men and is talking to pastor right now. May Pastor Dave have the discernment from Jesus to guide us, the foresight, the faith, the courage necessary to release us or not, as God Himself wills for us. Amen

Pastor advised Dan to go into pastoring–to find a church or plant a church–not go to school. But he said he would support us whatever we choose. 

We kept praying and seeking God.

February 7

We had dinner with Norm and Marge. They paid for the baby sitter. $12. We found out that they know about Elim and the Spencer family (founders). They are excited for us! They encouraged us and prayed for us. We were very lifted up in our spirits.

Our Pastor agreed with the district supervisor that we plant a church. They believed Dan was ready to minister and not in need of further schooling. 

Norm and Marge agreed with Paul and Karen–that we begin planning to attend Elim. 

In hindsight we were doing a bold thing to step out in faith and trust God. And we have done many bold things since. 

We had just received a letter from Elim requesting: $75 fee, reference letter from our pastor, phone interview with their Dean of Married Students, list of indebtedness while attending, and our  means of support while attending the school. We replied and mailed it.

March 26

Palmer Johnson called Dan from Elim:

   ……..they want us! All is go!!…. 

179- Have Faith in God

179- Have Faith in God

January 2, 1986

Papa and Tutu brought Dan’s and Aug’s childhood electric train over. Dan mounted it on a large piece of plywood and we put it in the basement. Great fun for all.

Nancy (my childhood friend) and husband and son came today to visit. Although I’d prayed lots and had some others pray, I had that awful self-centered demeanor; I was boastful, arrogant. I want out of my heart’s abundance to have Christ-centered conversation, no matter who I talk to.

January 3

Dan and I are reading The Willow in the Wind, about Ivan Spencer, who was led by God to begin Elim Bible Institute. Karen met a woman who had been to the school and liked it very much.

Still reading in Mark!

10:27 With men it is impossible, but not with God, for with God all things are possible!

10:29 Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My sake and the gospel’s, who shall not receive a hundredfold now in this time—houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions—and in the age to come, eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.

I don’t thoroughly know what this means. But we are leaving family and land believing we are being led by You and I expect it will all be worth it. 

January 6

Mark 11:24 When you pray, believe…

Someone said: you will never need faith in comfortable surroundings.

Father, we don’t have the faith for all that is ahead—having people support us, moving across the US, setting up, getting Dan through two years of school, pastoring in the US two years, going to Japan and living there. But we do have faith for today.

What do we KNOW?

*the focus of the Bible is Missions.

*We have the desire to take our family and see the Lord save people through us.

*We know it is impossible with us.

*We know that nothing is impossible with God.

*We do believe that God has an opinion, a call, about this for us.


I can believe God for that.

177- Be Like Jesus: Do Good and Heal the Sick

177- Be Like Jesus: Do Good and Heal the Sick

December 10, 1985 – 6am

Mark 2:23-3:5 Walk in the Spirit and do good.

            3:10 The people saw Him heal others before their eyes—“they all pressed about Him in order to touch Him and be healed.”

            3:12 Jesus must have been frustrated by the disobedience of the unclean spirits revealing His identity.

            3:13-14 He chose 12 to teach them how to preach and cast out demons

            3:25 He doesn’t not want us to be “a house divided against itself.”

            3:27 He wants the strong man bound.

            3:35 He didn’t so much deny his mother and brother, but took everyone else in who loved and Him and obeyed God.

            4:20 Be good ground for the Word, accept it, and let it bear fruit.

                   (verse 19) Don’t be distracted by affliction or by the worries of the world or the luring of deceitful riches.

            4:39 He wants us not to be intimidated by the elements. To trust Him.

Later: Mary, from next door, and I went to get the Christmas tree! They are not living in the apartment but are salvaging what they can from the ashes. She was happy to purchase our tree and the boys were ecstatic.

Sandra (young neighbor) (v.(came to make a Christmas craft. The boys like her a lot and they had fun sitting at our restaurant booth kitchen table coloring and cutting and gluing. Tomorrow we will go to Jackie’s and make popcorn balls. Next week we’ll go to my parent’s for the holidays.

173- Early Morning Surrender

173- Early Morning Surrender

December 3, 1985

I am just finishing a cold. Had a wonderful night’s sleep. I had prayed last night at bedtime to be alert and inspired to seek God in the morning! It’s 5am – PRAISE GOD! And on top of that, Dan prayed for me before we began our devotions.

Father, just as Your SUFFICIENT grace is available to completely support me in the midst of a crisis or a tragedy, SO NOW IN THE SAME MANNER WHEN I AM FEELING CAST DOWN, I say—I have no interest in dwelling on the negatives, the hardships of my life. I turn to You. Lift me above the illusion of ugliness to the reality of soaring with You. You are in control, I accept the circumstances. I have prayed about them and put them fully in Your capable, almighty hands. I give you my ATTITUDES. I do not want the heaviness and grief of my negative flesh, old nature, to encompass me. NO, I desire Christ Himself to be LIFE in me and through me to all I touch. I do not withhold the love of Jesus from my family—I open myself completely to Your surging, throbbing LOVE, Your strengthening JOY, Your incomprehensible PEACE, Your steadfast FAITH and FAITHFULNESS, Your unending KINDNESS, Your CONTROLLING of myself. BE YOURSELF THROUGH ME. MAKE ME A BLESSING as You promised Abraham. For Your glory, for my joy and fulfillment and purpose.

Isaiah 8:17a And I will wait on the Lord…and I will hope in Him.

Hebrews 2:13 and Isa 8:18 Here am I and the children whom the Lord has given me! We are for signs and wonders in Israel from the Lord of hosts…