345 – My Faith Gets Shaken

345 – My Faith Gets Shaken

March 16, 1989

One night, ten years ago, when we were attending Bible school in Germany and I was anxious about the well being of my baby in the womb, and I was crying out to God, He gave me this verse. It is a precious promise that the children I bear are blessed by God.

Praise the Lord, O Jerusalem!
Praise your God, O Zion!
For He has strengthened the bars of your gates;
He has blessed your sons within you.
He makes peace in your borders;
He satisfies you with the finest of the wheat. Psalm 147:12-14

March 17, 1989

4am awakened with a distressing physical symptom.

Confused. If I cannot believe that all of the way we’ve come in this baby issue was Your leading –how can I believe You about Your leading to homeschool, Your leading that we are going to Japan….

Will I now have to question everything else that we are doing by faith?

Back to bed.

Felt waves of comfort and grace!

Dan was compassionate. He quoted:

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all. Psalm 34:18-19

Dan came in later and said, “In some way that only God can do, this whole experience you are having is going to confirm our calling.”

I talked to God.

Dan said, rest and pray in the Spirit all day, not in words that could express doubt and fear.

So I began my day expecting Jesus to be very near to me and very real. Bless You, Savior.

The thought also came to me: to have another baby is not a selfish desire of mine—that is a lie. To have been home already for ten years and if I had another baby, it would add five more years to the tail end of that. I know myself well enough that I know I would not choose that. Yet, if a baby is God’s will for us, I would gladly do this for Him, for His will, for His plan.

This lifted me also, encouraged me. It is the will of the Lord I am seeking. Yes, my heart is pure about this.

344 – Conflict in the Home Soon Resolved

344 – Conflict in the Home

Soon Resolved

March 4, 1989 Sunday at church

Joyce came up to me: “Are you pregnant? I woke up thinking about you.” She prayed for me.

March 14, 1989  Tim, Steve, and Danny have had Chickenpox for a week. Mark was the first to come down with it and is now well.

Two days late. I opened up my Bible randomly, seeking the Lord.

Isaiah 66:7 Before she goes into labor, she gives birth, before the pains come upon her, she delivers a son.            

What are the odds that I would see a verse about birthing?

Dan laughed when I shared all of this: “This is the third month in a row you have thought you were pregnant. I’d rather laugh than take it seriously—of course you may have the last laugh.”

Sting!

This comforted me:

Isaiah 44: 25-26 who overthrows the learning of the wise and turns it into nonsense…who carries out the words of his servants and fulfills the predictions of His messengers.

I had great sorrow from my conversation with Dan. In order to focus on my glorious God, I put my Bible on the counter and kept going back to it, highlighting truth about God, keeping my focus on HIM.

I had a wonderful prayer time with Akiko and Reiko.

Reconciliation with Dan this evening and the next morning he said is excited about the possibility of a pregnancy.

Dan and I are of one mind, waiting on the Lord.

March 15

I had a good prayer time this afternoon. I laid the pregnancy possibility out again before the Lord along with all off the thoughts in my deceitful heart as well as my heart’s desires.

It occurred to me –what if people thought I had fooled around and gotten pregnant, since I have such a checkered past. A verse I memorized years ago jumped out at me:

Proverbs 16:7 When a man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord, He makes even his enemies be at peace with him.

I believe Your word is alive, and that you just spoke to me!

Fear is gone!

341 – Our Ministry Goals

341 – Our Ministry Goals

February 13, 1989

I came across our newsletter, which we sent out to our friends and family. From the letter, which is a review of our last few months in order to catch everyone up:

As we crossed the country, our little motorhome performed flawlessly, only needing one tire, and that was provided without cost to us. We had to stop twice for Dan to work and earn enough money to go on and God provided wonderful friends to work for and with. 

Grace was ours to live in a 120 sq. ft. house on wheels without ever feeling like “I gotta get out of here.” And our new home is a wonderful refuge, just what Georgann had been praying for–in a wooded place where the boys can play out of city dangers. We live in a complex that used to be a convent and now is a Christian high school that rents out apartments on a floor that is not used for classrooms. It’s been very confirming to us just how our faithful Father has worked all this out. We feel confirmed that we belong here and built up in our faith to proceed.

When we first got here in SF we dove right into the Japanese community to find out all we could, attended some interesting Japanese Christmas parties at the Japanese Cultural Center, and hung around Japantown finding more Japanese than we expected who are ‘fresh off the boat’ so to speak, rather than American born. There is very little being done to evangelize among the Japanese, especially considering their numbers. I have walked through Japantown praying the streets and have rediscovered the ferocious entrenchment of opposition in the spiritual realm which surrounds Japanese culture, an entrenchment which can also be very aggressive and dark.

We are praying for strategy as we begin our outreach to the Japanese.

339 – Here’s My Heart, Lord

339 – Here’s My Heart, Lord

February 2, 1989 Bridgemont, SF

God led me to Proverbs 2 and I began to cry out for wisdom, insight, and understanding.

My son, if you accept my words
    and store up my commands within you,
turning your ear to wisdom
    and applying your heart to understanding—
indeed, if you call out for insight
    and cry aloud for understanding,
and if you look for it as for silver
    and search for it as for hidden treasure,
then you will understand the fear of the Lord
    and find the knowledge of God.
For the Lord gives wisdom;
    from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
He holds success in store for the upright,
    he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,
for he guards the course of the just
    and protects the way of his faithful ones.

I laid out before the Lord all the pondering and the full awareness of my deceitful heart and my ability in the flesh to go on with this for 3 ½ years—but that MY TRUE DESIRES were to become pregnant. I remember well the Spirit’s prayer through me years ago: that He would use us to speak out against abortion in whatever way He chose. I felt it was very bold, very Spirit; but the Spirit was moving and it was easy to step into it—and I meant it with all my heart.

I am putting my trust in God for giving me wisdom and insight, reducing the stress in my life by speaking to me a yea or nay about this, for speaking my heart to Dan as soon as possible.

It was well and good to desire a pregnancy, even at my age, 43. The challenge was that Dan had had a vasectomy after our fourth son was born. I knew God could over-ride the surgeon’s handiwork. No doubts whatsoever. But I didn’t want my will to be done. If it truly was a God-thing, I wanted Dan to be on board and so determined to talk to him about it, again. Over the years I have learned, God doesn’t mock our wildest, craziest dreams. He is right there with us as we walk it out.

337 – Nighttime Fears

337 – Nighttime Fears

January 27, 1989 Bridgemont, San Francisco

Yesterday the news was that there was a strange person on the grounds.

The day before that it was that a person desperately needing a place to spend the night.

Then last night a lady’s screaming woke us up. Fear gripped me as I lay awake…and then guilt at not helping any of them.

This morning I was disappointed and angry at myself, and still fearful.

But God’s Word totally erased all of it. There is power in the Word.

Luke 10:18-19 He replied, “I saw Satan fall like lightening from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions, and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. Hallelujah!

I happily went alone on my morning prayer walk with the Lord.

Trial: Apprehension about our new apartment. We are moving today and sleeping in the other apartment tonight. Dan, bless his heart, cleaned the stove, the fridge, and fixed the gas leak. Our bed will be in the bathroom. Weird. This old building is strange. Very strange. We cleaned, we thanked God that we are inside for the winter. 

January 28

We moved everything in two hours and had the old apartment cleaned. The boys were a tremendous help. We got them to bed (after a Mexican treat) and GRACE came like a flood. This is the Lord’s blessing for us, and we love it.

Later: There is not enough space, even for our very meager possessions. There are a few cupboards in the kitchen but we have no dressers. So we set our eyes on the seen rather than the unseen, and trust the Lord.

We went to Babu’s and Asceda’s for lunch. 

333 – God Supplies Headache Relief, Dental Work, and a Job

333 – God Supplies Headache Relief, Dental Work, and a Job

January 5, 1989 Bridgemont in San Francisco

For Christmas we drove down the coast to Connie’s and Jerry’s house in Paso Robles! It was a great family reunion.

Two days ago, I had a headache all day. The next morning I still had the headache. As I was walking and praying, I confessed the sin of fear and the next time I thought about it, both the fear and the headache were gone and did not return. That same day Dan was discouraged and depressed. He confessed. Gone.

Both Karen and Jan have told us to call collect. Jan said to call on Wednesdays each week so she can share our needs with the men’s and women’s prayer groups.

These friends’ availability provides great encouragement.

The San Francisco Foursquare Church is a blessing. One couple had us over to brunch on New Year’s Day. We have Japan in common with three people: a young lady named Helen is Japanese American, and Frank and Orinda have been short-term missionaries to Japan and want to go back. Thank You, Lord, for people with a heart for Japan.

AND: God comes to church there consistently!

After two weeks of following up on leads in the newspaper and making calls and sending resumes, Dan looked in the yellow pages under architectural design, made a call, and was asked to come in this morning. Last night after church Dan felt today would be a breakthrough day. We asked the prayer groups to pray. The job is $10 an hour (Dan had hoped for $15). He will be drafting house plans. Another person was hired for the teaching position at the school. Dan was relieved. Instead, we moved to a smaller apartment and Dan became the night watchman. His assignment was check all of the interior and exterior doors, the pool, the back hallways, to be sure everything was locked and that no one was trespassing.  

Timmy’s bad tooth took us to emergency room at Mt. Zion on a holiday! They informed us there was no charge because we had consulted with the dentist over the phone. We paid $10.95 for penicillin. When we went back the next day for a consultation and drilling, there was no charge. PTL Timmy will need a crown, which an intern will do for $400.

Praises: we got very practical Christmas gifts: a sauce pan, sweaters, remote control cars for the boys, and some other toys! Plus we still have lots of vitamins and some cleaning products our friends in Colorado gave us.

Our challenges:

* very limited kitchen ware and no oven

*my hairdryer blows only cold air and the apartment is very cold

*I lost one of Granny Mary’s earrings and one of Jan’s earrings from Hong Kong

*no phone

*we are trying to sell the motor home (originally purchased by our friends for us for $8,700). Dan is asking $3900. We plan to get a car with the money.

*my needs for a hair and clothes

*money for Tim’s crown

We expect to have a good report soon about God’s supply.

330 -Trailer Park Blues

330 – Trailer Park Blues

December 12, 1988 Daly City, California

There were no campgrounds in which to park the motor home in San Francisco so we asked around and found a small crowded trailer park in Daly City, immediately south of SF. It was so discouraging. It just felt awful. Even the dirt was dirty. The showers and bathrooms were cleaned every day, but it was a creepy place.

We called my parents and Mom said that Karen had left a message for me to call her collect. Karen knows a Christian man who lives in the city and encouraged us to contact him about a place to live. We also visited Dan’s Aunt Vanna, who lived in SF. We walked to the Lucky grocery store a few blocks away and stocked up on the basics. The boys have been such good sports.

Dec 13 Daly City, trailer park

Today the Holy Spirit cautioned Dan not to be in a hurry. We are trying hard not to let panic set in. Our funds are limited. Karen’s friend has not called us back.

The Word offers consolation and hope: the hidden mystery has been revealed: Christ in you, the hope of glory! Colossians 1:26-27

v 28 We proclaim Him, we preach Christ – with the goal to present every one perfect in Christ.

v 29 To this end we labor, struggling with all HIS ENERGY which so powerfully works in me. (Lord, I do not see the ‘powerfully’ part working in me!)

We drove into the city to scout out Japanese churches, then we went to a Japanese park where the people were very friendly. We visited Vanna then headed for Japantown, a large area in the midst of SF in which the Japanese citizens carved out for themselves after the 1906 earthquake. Today it is a huge mall of shops and restaurants. Of course the cherry trees are not in bloom, but we hope to come back in the spring.

328 – Welcomed by Dan’s Good Friends

328 – Welcomed by Dan’s

Good Friends

October 31, 1988 Wheaton, Illinois

As Dan and I prayed against hopelessness, he got a picture: he saw an old weathered train station. Even the tracks and buildings were gone. He felt God was saying: don’t go back there (your old way of thinking) for information about self and life—God has a new station—He’s conforming you into the image of Jesus.

Daniel, age 5, said: you have 4 sons and if you have one more baby you’ll have 5 sons—but it’ll be a girl, and you can name her Georgann.

November 1-2  Des Moines, Iowa to Grand Island, Nebraska

November 3 – 15th  Castle Rock, Colorado

Dan’s friends became the kids and my friends!!! Dr. Jim and Sugar and their children welcomed us in and very happily gave Dan handyman work so he could earn money for the remainder of our trip. The work kept him busy every day for almost 2 weeks. There were animals (chickens, goats, dogs, cats), lots of open spaces, and hills for the boys to climb, and a boy Steve’s age who they all enjoyed.

I proclaimed in my journal: NOTHING IS GOING TO GET ME DOWN. I WILL NOT BE OVERCOME. THE JOY OF THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH.

Proverbs 31:15 She can laugh at the days to come.

NIV note: she is free of anxiety and worry!

Every day I read Lloyd Oglivie’s book, You are Loved and Forgiven. I received encouragement every day. I had time to rest, and I took lots of notes.

November 16 Cheyenne, Wyoming

It snowed often when we were in Castle Rock, and it snowed the day we left in our wobbily motor home. Dan’s friends Del and Florence were excited to see Dan and meet the family. We were loved and welcomed again.

322 – God Made the Sun Stand Still

322 – God Made the

Sun Stand Still

September 28-October 2, 1988

Phyllis was very hospitable. We stayed in a campground and visited her at her house and the church. We went to her English speaking class and to the park for lunch with her and the ladies. We met her Japanese Pastor and his wife. Every time I looked at the wife I began weeping! The crying lasted 40 minutes. I was never sure what this was about. Ask dan

This was 30 years ago. My journal notes indicate that one day we left the motorhome in the camp place and went by transit into New York City. I remember that, but not what we did that day.

October 3

After we left Phyllis, we tried to homeschool as we traveled, but we only accomplished a little. There was much spiritual warfare. Timmy was upset. The freeway was terrible, so we got off and went the side roads. There was a lot of traffic through Philadelphia. Yet Dan and I kept agreeing and God led us for sure.

Sitting in the motor home was like being on a ship during a storm, hanging on, losing footing, but persevering. Finally seeing the shore and a refuge! Dan confronted Tim to surrender his will and give up his way. They prayed. Tim received peace and joy!

My concern about being able to do our homeschooling is huge. We have concerns about the weather and the road conditions that will be coming this time of year. And, we plan to go south to see my relatives, then north and back to Livonia, then west to Reno.

Joshua 10:12 Then Joshua spoke to the Lord…

v 13 AND THE SUN STOOD STILL FOR JOSHUA!! AND THE MOON STOPPED…

God is able to rule over nature for His children!

You always meet me, You always give me hope! I just need to come to You! I will keep my trust in You!

320 – God Gives His Girl a Splendid Sign

320 – God Gives His Girl a Splendid Sign

September 23, 1988

Tim made heart-shaped sugar cookies. I made heart-shaped biscuits for Cheryl’s birthday dinner.

This is Dan’s last day of work at SouthCo.

I kept focusing again, as yesterday: love the Lord Your God with all your mind, strength, heart and soul.

Enter His gates with thanksgiving!

*We are Elim missionaries!!!

*I have not had pollen or cat allergies!

*The rain stopped so I could walk.

*The sofa room in Pletcher’s IS GETTING SORTED!!

*Cheryl was home yesterday in time for me to go for my haircut—by one minute!!

*God has filled my heart with purpose and confidence for this day.

*Larry Nobles can help Dan get seatbelts at the junk yard (so the boys will be belted in at the table in the motor home), and maybe fix the tape recorder.

*I was relaxed about the kids eating sugar last night (God help them and me in this!).

After dinner, exhausted, going out to motor home—looked up—3 long pillars of cloud across the entire sky. BLESS GOD. He is with us, He loves us—and here we go with our God!!!

Pillars of cloud was a sign of God’s love for me and His presence with me for many years