208 ~ Glorious Times

208 – Glorious Times

September 20, 1986

Yesterday God called me apart!

I walked at noon toward the school but then turned and walked up the hill and into a field of waist-high wildflowers: yellow and purple. Bordering the field on one end were deciduous trees of every changing color. On my left, a quaint old red-brown farm house. I stood in the rain under my little blue Japanese umbrella and read Galatians in my Phillip’s pocket Bible. I had been needy, crying out to God. Through Galatians he reaffirmed:

* do not hold man’s approval in high regard—only God’s approval

*you are not under the law but under grace

* your righteousness is not of the law by your good deeds, but by faith in Jesus Christ

* walk in faith

It was a glorious time.

Dan wanted me to go to Elim to the prayer meeting. So I did. I’m often hesitant to go out on my own, especially driving the country roads at night.

As I drove on campus to the meeting, Tracey Belcastro had just pulled in. We walked together and sat together with her husband and interceded together and talked afterwards. She is a person I have been wanting to know. We have agreed to be prayer partners. God is gracious.

God lifted me through worship and then blessed me with a new release of my prayer language in intercessory prayer. He is so precious.

On Friday, God touched me in an interesting way: In prayer before the home school meeting, feeling desperate for peace in place of anxiety, I felt a sensation on my head just back from my hairline moving from the right temple area, across to the left. Hmmmm. At the meeting I was freer to be me than I have been in ages—with no second thoughts or deep introspection. Praise Jesus.

207 ~ Be Selfish or Serve Others

207 – Be Selfish or Serve Others

September 6, 1986

I have become so disgusted with myself—and while repenting and broken I came upon the book by Charles Swindoll, Improving Your Serve-The Art of Unselfish Living.

I have been here before, and I am here again. Self-centered.

I’m too concerned with ME, my shower, my letters home, my Bible study, my nerves, my image, my mouth—and I have been becoming angry over so much waiting, my imperfection, kids’ imperfection, etc. Unwilling to make the real sacrifices in time (up early) and attitude with a cheerful heart.

But Lord help me to be more willing to die to myself and to be a servant. Like my husband. But especially like You. Dan is looking to You, looking to serve You. I want to, too.

Matthew 20: 25a, 28 But Jesus called them to Himself, and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them… just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”

1 Peter 5:2a Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, serving as overseers, not by compulsion but willingly…

Thank You that You give me attitude adjustments and do not leave me to myself. There is ALWAYS hope in Christ my Lord.

206 ~ Release and Cleansing

206 – Release and Cleansing

Sept 1, 1986

This is rewritten from a long entry in my journal:

Last week I had asked Dan to pray that if God had something to show me He would. Then yesterday at church at Elim, Brother Edwards, the president of the school, spoke of the spiritual renewal he had received over the summer break. He believed that on this day there was an anointing for liberation from bondage to sin and from past crippling memories.

The Lord brought to mind some incidents in my life as a young child that made me feel dirty every time I thought of them. I joined the scores of people filing forward to the front of the church. The prayer was a release from bondage into the wholeness of Christ.

Today in my regular devotions in Leviticus 18, I read about specific awful sins and how sin has the inevitable result of cutting us off from the people we love, and from the Lord.

Hebrews 8:12 For I will be merciful to their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.

Hebrews 9:13 For if the blood of goats and bulls and the ashes of a heifer, sprinkling those who have been defiled, sanctify for the cleansing of the flesh, how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without blemish to God, cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God. 

Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God

Now all gifts, blessings, fruits, life, fullness of the Spirit I receive from my God, from the Holy Spirit. I receive this revelation of the Word and feel spiritually prepared for the class I am beginning tomorrow night on campus. I receive release from illness and courage to lead these boys into relationship with Christ and into the rest of their lives.

My extended devotional time took place between 2-3:30 while Daniel was napping and TSM were at the neighbors. Dan came home at 4:30. I got to go out on errands till 6, so I got a real break today—Thank You, Jesus!

204 ~ A Continual Choice

204 – A Continual Choice

July 25, 1986

Leslie came over and talked some more. Her deceased husband was a troubled soul, she said. She and Chris (her son) are devastated. May You guard my mouth at all times by giving me wisdom and discernment, Lord!

I called the Superintendent’s office and got him! I explained yesterday’s last-minute cancellation. He sounded compassionate. But he also seemed stern and businesslike.

July 30

Depression and fear have been hovering around me because it feels like the Superintendent holds power over me!

I realized on my walk that I can embrace God and walk with Him or I can choose an anxious and negative attitude and darkness.

Today I will meet with the Superintendent at 9am.

I have been reading daily in Exodus. Then on Sunday at church I was convicted of not being in the Word enough, so I decided to read daily in the New Testament as well.

This morning I got:

1 Peter:13 Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority…

 15 for such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men.

Romans 13:1 Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.

These verses enabled me to be humble and submissive during the important meeting, not defensive and afraid. I will trust that You will use this man and his position for the best course we are to take.

Lord, that was amazing that I got those two verses on this exact day without having any other purpose but to hear Your voice. Amazing!

Thank You for reminding me of Your viewpoint about the world’s structure and my place in it! Thank You that I am able to hear you speak and by Your grace follow Your leading!

196 -Beware!

196 –  Beware!


June 27, 1986

You, therefore, beloved, since you know this beforehand, BEWARE lest you also fall from your own steadfastness, being led away with the error of the wicked, but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 3:17

For this past month I have been reading my Bible but not writing in my journal. I have been walking in our neighborhood almost daily and praying.

I have been reading in 2 Peter and the insights about being aware of wicked men SEEM to be about a person we met here—the FIRST person we met here.  He is a retired school teacher. He has been over often, giving gifts, being too friendly. Yesterday morning I had a good talk with God on my walk and asked for information about child molesters and JUST HAPPENED later that day to make my first visit to the Livonia library. And there on the front desk was a pamphlet: Protect Your Children.

After lunch I set Timmy, Stevie, Mark down for school and we had health.

I was quite frank and open and used this man as an example of someone we do not know well who might be crude or nasty and for them to be careful. Tim, 7, and Steve, 6, understood, but I am not sure about how well Markie, age 4, understood.

Mr. XX was here 1 ½ hours in the morning and two or three hours in the afternoon. 

I believe this is the man You were warning me about last month. I will be on the alert.

I have asked God to render this man powerless over me and Dan and the boys. I felt I was to start talking about God to him. Then we went to a Camp Meeting last night at Elim and the message was on “let the redeemed of the Lord say so!” We are to speak about our redemption. Our WORDS are life and valuable.

Praise God for the precious work of the Holy Spirit.

By the way the boys have responded well to our discussion. I feel we all feel closer to each other. You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free!

I had read Exodus 1 this morning and it told how God BLESSED the midwives for obeying and honoring Him and not killing the boy babies. I shared this with the boys –that to honor God brings us blessings even if someone else tells us to do the wrong thing.

We were vigilant. God was faithful. I thank Him today for the warning. The man was our neighbor. He brought huge pumpkins for the boys which was OK, and wanted to take them for rides on his tractor. NO.

187- Trust in the Lord

187- Trust in the Lord

May 3, 1986

Dan was reading Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart…

                …..and praying about Elim.

The phone rang. It was a student who was helping find homes for new families.

…do not lean on your own understanding….

There is an upstairs apartment in Livonia, a town 9 miles from the school: $185, 4 bedrooms, safe yard!!

Even though this was an amazing deal, I was really worried about taking an upstairs apartment–I could not imagine traipsing upstairs with bags of groceries, a toddler, big wheels, sleds…


We decided NOT to lean on our own understanding. We prayed God would caution us by 5 pm Sunday, if we were not to take it.

There was no caution….

The student called back….

He had made a mistake! It’s a HOUSE with an apartment inside it—not an outside stairway! Praise God – Praise God – Praise God!

Our friend Bill offered to do the garage sale for us. But as it worked out he and his wife, Carol, took all four boys to their house on the day of our garage sale and kept them overnight. They have two boys who are our boys good friends.

We found out our church probably cannot be our non-profit organization so that people wanting to support us would get receipts.

But Fred, District Supervisor told our pastor, “we’ll work something out!”

185- When to Go?

185-When to Go?

April 14, 1986

Genesis 7:4 For after seven more days I will cause it to rain…

God tells His people what He will do…

Genesis 8:15 Then God spoke to Noah, saying, Go out of the ark…

God can make it clear when to go out—we listen and keep moving toward our destination.

April 15

Karen  and I prayed on the phone last night. Both of us were greatly encouraged in our spirits by God. She felt a major breakthrough regarding fear.

I was encouraged to focus on thankfulness of what God HAS DONE, not focus on the problem of how He still needs to provide. This is a great blessing to me. I know I must be quenching the Holy Spirit through my undisciplined negativism. In Jesus’ Name I ask POWER to change! His Spirit to change me!

We were greatly encouraged by these Bible verses about our pilgrimage to relocate to New York, our efforts to be built up in the Spirit, our goal to do God’s work in saving the lost.

Matthew18-21 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

183- His Promises

183- His Promises

March 24, 1986

Streams in the Desert: (paraphrased)

Quote God’s promise back to Him…“YOU SAID…”

He cannot say no. He must do as He has said. 

Make your requests with definite earnestness if you would have definite answers.

Accept God at His Word. Believe that He really means EXACTLY what He says.

Pastor Dave’s sermons have been on a similar theme.

My experience has not taken me here yet.  But I am on the threshold.

My experience is: praying in the Spirit on my entire ½ hour walk. And during my day keeping on praying in the Spirit, and NEW LIFE is coming.

Father, it is very sad that I did not obey You one year ago when through Gloria Copeland You told me to pray in the Spirit one hour at the beginning of each day .

Also today I prayed more earnestly than I usually do. I felt a new thrust to do this 2 or 3 days ago. To let go of the self prayers, the woe is me’s, the list of needs. And just to put Your Spirit in the driver’s seat.

167- Humble Recommitment

167- Humble Recommitment

November 19, 1985

Psalm 71:1a,3a,4a,5,14,22,23,24 KJV

            In Thee, O Lord, I have taken refuge…

            Be Thou a rock of habitation to which I may continually come.

            Rescue me…

            For Thou art my hope…

            O Lord, God, Thou art my confidence…

            But as for me I will hope continually and will praise Thee yet more and more.

            I will praise Thee…

            My tongue also will utter Thy righteousness all day long…


Father ~ for every time I have doubted You, cleanse me now. For every time I have accused You of forsaking or forgetting me, cleanse me now.

I desire to be a pure, holy, empty vessel filled with Your Holy Spirit. That is my ambition. Take my feet where You will. Let praises and testimonies of Your grace and righteousness come from my mouth because Your Spirit brings to remembrance the Word I have hidden abundantly in my heart.

Looking eye-to-eye with Jesus~

166- Accepted and Loved

166- Accepted and Loved

November 18, 1985

Up at 5:15 am, by the grace of Jesus, to read and to pray.

Streams in the Desert, p. 332: My environment is of His determining. He means it to intensify my faith, to draw me into nearer communion with Himself, to ripen my power. In the dungeon my soul should prosper. Luke 7:23 And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me.

I asked for a repentant heart, waking up with a bad dream, accusations on my mind, and failures on my mind. The dream reminded me of my worldly days away from God.

The Luke scripture led me think about to what Dan shared in the meeting on Thursday night: the woman who was washing Jesus’ feet with her tears, drying them with her hair, and anointing them with perfume. I am hearing: that woman is me. It is me as I bring my past humbly and with repentance to Him. As I pour out my soul and love Him. 

Jesus accepted her; he loved and cherished and forgave her. He even defended her before those who questioned her sanctification. Luke 7:36-50

Woman washing Jesus’ feet with her tears and drying them with her hair.

Oh, God, that these experiences in my life would tenderize my heart and give me compassion for others who have a similar story.