Category: Searching for truth

379 – Not Alone

379 – Not Alone

September 10, 1989 San Francisco

We all went to the Crusade after church and did not get home and to sleep till after midnight.

We decided to skip a wedding in Reno and stay through the week to finish out the Mario Murillo Crusade.

September 14 – Thursday

I was awake early. Discouraged. Lonely. On my morning walk I prayed for Jesus’ agape love to come to me. As I went into the courtyard to read my Bible, I had a sensation someone was already there, waiting. Glanced quickly to my bench against the wall, and had the split second perception of Jesus sitting there waiting for me. Oh, I needed to have You be here, Jesus. Thank You, precious Lord.

I asked what would be good for me to read. John 18 came to my mind. Wow, perfect. Jesus was betrayed by Judas, Peter, and the Jews. He was separated from His disciples in His time of great need. (I have not been betrayed, praise God, but the rest applied.)

He said to Peter— v 11“Put your sword away!! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?”

The cup came from the Father.

43An angel from heaven appeared to Him and strengthened Him.

44and being in anguish He prayed more earnestly and His sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.

I accept my cup, Lord.

I accept your strengthening.

I will pray more earnestly.

I will not use the sword, which for me stands for weapons of the flesh—reacting out of fear and anger. I will not be an angry person, I will not react in fear! I put them away!

Jesus, you are covering me, and will continue, but I need to change.

378 – We Keep Seeking Him

378 – We Keep Seeking Him

September 6 San Francisco

$25 gift from, $600 from friends! Bless Our God!

Our habit is to share with each other which verses the Holy Spirit highlighted in our devotions. Dan was impacted by:

Psalm 66:8-20 Praise our God, O peoples, let the sound of His praise be heard; He has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping. For You, O God, tested us. You refined us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs. You let men ride over our heads. We went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance. I will come to Your temple with burnt offerings and fulfill my vows to You—vows my lips promised and my mouth spoke when I was in trouble. I will sacrifice fat animals to You and an offering of rams. I will offer bulls and goats. Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me. I cried out to Him with my mouth; His praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer. Praise be to God who has not rejected my prayer or withheld His love from me!

It spoke to us both. We are encouraged that we are not left behind, not alone.

September 8

The Spirit brought these to my mind and I was helped:

Hebrews 11:6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He is the rewarder of all who diligently SEEK Him.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and NOT TO HARM YOU, plans to give you hope and a future.13You will SEEK Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.

We all went to the crusade tonight and witnessed many miracles.

September 10

Dan and Timmy (age 10) went to the crusade. They got home at 11:30pm. The rest of us were asleep by 9:30pm.

377 – Please Advise, Lord

377- Please Advise, Lord

September 2, 1989 San Francisco

Dan, Timmy, and Stevie left early to set up Mario Murillo tent. Dan and Timmy went to the 2 o’clock and the 6 o’clock meetings. Tim sold t-shirts and the Latinos gave him one. I did laundry in the men’s locker room by the pool all day. Up and down the stairs. It was free, and I thank the Lord!

September 3 Sunday

Shealyn and I worked in the nursery at church. Directly after church we all went to the Crusade. Donnie Moore did feats of strength. I counseled Natalie and Karen. We had a quick dinner at home and went back to the 6 o’clock meeting. Timmy got another shirt and a music tape from the Latinos! It’s nice he is getting these rewards for his hard work.

September 4

The rent, Lord!! And what about Petaluma job? PLEASE ADVISE!

John 1:1 Jesus is the WORD. 3-4Jesus is life and gives life, now and eternally! 5Jesus is light and He illuminates the darkness.

John 11:6 Jesus is the way, the truth, and the LIFE.

Please bring us the word of truth and show us the way, Lord. You are our life!

We went to Foster City with Ken and Kathy Reed and we were much encouraged by their walk of faith. Dan and Ken clicked. Ken has a history with Japan, also.

376 – God is Right Here to Strengthen

376 – God is Right Here to 

Strengthen

September 1, 1989 continued

More encouragements from God’s word to bolster me in this uncertain time!

Cross references I followed up on that are so encouraging.

Psalm 68:32-35 Sing to God, O kingdoms of the earth, sing praise to the Lord, to Him who rides the ancient skies above, who thunders with mighty voice. Proclaim the power of God, whose majesty is over Israel, whose power is in the skies. You are awesome, O God, in Your sanctuary, the God who gives power and strength to His people. Praise be to God!

Psalm 68:28 Summon Your power, O God. Show us Your strength, O God, as You have done before.

Psalm 28:6-9 Praise be to the Lord, for He has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield, my heart trusts in Him and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy, and I will give thanks to Him in song. The Lord is the strength of His people, a fortress of salvation for His anointed one. Save your people and bless Your inheritance; be their shepherd and carry them forever.

Let faith arise!!!

Friday evening: Akiko and Duane came to dinner. Dan and the boys helped them move out.

368 – Fix My Eyes on Jesus

368 – Fix My Eyes on Faithful Jesus

August 20, 1989 San Francisco

God’s ways are HIGH above my ways. He has the right to do AS He pleases, WHEN He pleases in my life—and in all other’s lives.

Hebrews 1:3 Jesus is the exact representation of God and did only what the Father instructed Him to do.

Hebrews 3

v1        -Jesus is so superior to Moses

            -we are to fix our eyes on Him

            -we are to confess Jesus

            -Jesus was faithful to God, the One who appointed Him

            -God is the builder of everything

v6        -Christ is faithful as a son over God’s house

            -and WE ARE HIS HOUSE IF WE HOLD ON TO OUR COURAGE AND HOPE                    OF WHICH WE BOAST. We must persevere.

            -Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your heart

v 12     -an unbelieving heart is sinful and means you are turning away from                        the living God

            -sin is deceitful, encourage each other daily

            -we have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the                                  confidence we had at first

            -unbelief keeps us from God’s rest

AWESOME LORD!

366 – Me Better Than Them?

365 Me Better than Them?

August 17,1989 San Francisco

If I think I am better than someone, I can justify being rude, bossy, naggy, impatient, angry; and I am condescending and have low expectations for them. I just want them to be good so I can be accommodated and do MY thing, because of course MY part is the important part.

It makes for superficial relationships because all I want really is to keep coming away looking good to support the ‘truth’ that I am better. I become very controlling and they (people under me) have to make it so I look good.

[This is so true and when the Spirit showed me truths like this I was always convicted. Just heard a variation of the same conviction recently (2019). He keeps going deeper and deeper to the very root of the issue.]

Later: I took Akiko and Duane, our down the hall neighbors (she does not drive) to the emergency room for Duane’s knee. I had done this a month ago, taking all of the boys with me. We were so late in returning that I missed the home school meeting. So I listened to a tape Karen sent: How to Encourage Yourself in the Lord. I must stay surrendered and on top of my emotions.

365 – He Brings It All Into the Light

365 – He Brings It All

Into the Light

August 15, 1989 San Francisco

1 Corinthians 4:5…He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart…

v 7 who makes you different from anyone else? what do you have that you did not receive? and if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?

I feel You are speaking to me, but I need the revelation of the Spirit to understand and to make this specific.  

About 15 minutes later, He was specific. In the shower the Lord said through me: “I am not better than my children in God’s eyes.”

The Light dawned. With great joy I kept saying it over and over!

Because…if I think I am better than somebody, I do not mind being rude to him. I do not mind ruling over him or sinning by being uncharitable.

I am crying out for wisdom as to how to become a different person through Christ’s help.

Proverbs 16:21 The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction.

                     23 A wise man’s heart guides his mouth

                     24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones

                     32 Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.

362 – Shook Up

362 – Shook Up

This earthquake was not the big one but it was coming

August 8, 1989 San Francisco

Earthquake! 1:15am, and aftershock. At 9am another earthquake. We went to Auntie Yvonne’s and Grandma Fern’s motel, just to be away from this building.

Dan says this building, Bridgemont, is like the buildings in the Armenian earthquake we saw videos of recently. It is made of reinforced concrete, poured in 1935 and not structurally sound. In a big quake the floors would collapse on top of each other. There are four stories and we are lodged on number two.

We want to move as soon as possible. Anywhere! The only hangup I see is that we need to be where we can home school without stress and trouble. California and Nevada would work.

August 9

We got a letter from the McNeals  that is so exciting because they are doing the STUFF of the gospel in Kenya!! Seeing Jesus work MIRACLES! 

Last spring, Elim wanted us to go to Hong Kong and pass Bibles and Dan would teach Bible studies. Sounding real good now!

August 10

There has been so much stress because of the earthquakes. At church, I worshiped and fervently sought the Lord, then went forward for prayer. I asked the Lord for a word of wisdom. During the pastor’s message, the Lord said to me:

            You can pray for the boys and gently teach them, but you cannot make their arms embrace Jesus or their heads bow to Him.

We read yesterday in Treasures of the Snow, Grandmother encouraged Annette: “you are going to look after little children…they won’t always be good with you. Often you will feel cross and impatient and bad tempered. But the love of Jesus is long suffering and kind; ask Him to meet those cross, bad-tempered thoughts with His love and you’ll find they will leave….If your heart is full of love, there won’t be room for discontent.” pages 236-237 

Love suffereth long and is kind; love envieth not;

                        love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up. 1 Corinthians 13:4

361 – Moving Out of Conceit

361 Moving Out of Conceit

August 7, 1989, continued

Give me verses, Jesus, of what my attitude SHOULD BE:

Jeremiah 44:10 humble myself and show reverence to God

Romans 12:3 Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

         4-8 use the gifts He has given

         9 love must be sincere

         10 be devoted to one another in brotherly love; honor one another above yourselves

         14 bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse

         16 live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud but be willing to associate with people of low position.

         And… do not be conceited!

Galatians 5:26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying one another.

Philippians 2:3-5 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather in humility value others better than yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.

1 Peter 5:5b All of you clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

1 Peter 3:8 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.

356 – Into My Mind Popped…

356 Into My Mind Popped…

August 2, 1989 San Francisco

I woke up feeling unusual. Am I pregnant? Doubt pushed the thoughts away. I asked God to speak to me today about it—silently, in my heart. A very short time later, on my walk around Bridgemont campus, worshiping, fellowshipping with God, I asked God again to speak to me on this subject. Into my mind popped 1 Thessalonians 2:7 and 1 Thessalonians 5:1!

This is what they say:

1 Thessalonians 2:7 but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children.

1 Thessalonians 5:1-3 Now brothers about times and dates we do not need to write you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.

August 3

Depressed—not pregnant. Why do I want to be?

            pure: my heart has been changed by God so that it is now the desire of my heart

            truth: yet, hope deferred makes the heart grow sick

            flesh: I would be able to justify sleeping more

            pride: it would show me and others God’s favor on us

            practical: I feel it would be good for the boys to have to become more helpful, independent in the kitchen, and good for Daniel not to be the baby.

I am always surprising myself that I am so real with God and myself.