199- Asking God for Help

199 – Asking God for Help

July 15, 1986

Exodus 16:4 The Lord said to Moses, Behold, I will rain bread from heaven for you; and the people shall go out and gather a day’s portion every day, that I may test them, whether or not they will walk in my instruction.

I was encouraged in reading about God providing for the Israelites…so I asked God for an invitation out to dinner because I needed one more meal in the week’s menu.

Janet came by unexpectedly with a bag of groceries that will carry us through this week and into next, saying, “the Lord told me– as I was walking through the store asking Him who could use this, and this, and this—that YOU could!”  Janet has been such a faithful friend to us!

July 16

Exodus 17:1-7  [The story of water coming from the rock—after Moses took the people’s complaints to God.]

This story led me to something in my life: the three younger boys would be satisfied to play here at home, I think. But Tim is restless and wants friends his age and more things to do.

So – I bring this complaint to You, Lord.

I have no ideas, no car, no money, no friends to call on. How can I help my son?

And I rebuke fear.

Exodus 17:8-16 [The story Moses interceding for the people during the battle with the Amalekites.]

I will intercede on Tim’s behalf. I will pray about this. 

Many times, just like this, the Bible is my guide. I write down a verse or many verses while I am reading. Often God ‘speaks’ to me and answers my questions and gives me advice. It’s pretty amazing… It’s a relationship that is built day by day.

Little did I know that within a few weeks, Tim would be a first grade student at the elementary school across the field. It wasn’t my choice, but it answered my prayers. Did the Lord lead me to intercede for Timmy so that I would be a bit more prepared for what was going to be happening. I wouldn’t be surprised.

178- Have Courage, Not Fear!

178- Have Courage, Not Fear!

December 11, 1985

Mark 5:9 We may ask a demon his name.

           5:19 We are to report to our families and friends the great things the Lord has done for us.

           5:28 We are to BELIEVE. Believing does make something happen. God listens. God works on our believing! Believing cam make us well. Believing in Jesus Christ, His power, His desire to touch us, His love for us.

            5:36 He wants us to believe and not fear…DO NOT BE AFRAID ANY LONGER, ONLY BELIEVE (AND KEEP ON BELIEVING)

December 12

Mark 6:6 Jesus cannot work with unbelief. Be careful when with your own people. They will say, “it’s only George* and Grace’s* girl, the teacher.”

            6:7 Jesus wants us to use authority over unclean spirits.

            6:8 When we go, we take VERY LITTLE.

            6:12 He sent people out in twos to preach repentance, heal sick, cast out.

            6:20 John the Baptist preached, to His own death, but lifting up Jesus.

            6:31-32 Jesus wants us to rest a while and get away from      ministry for a time.

           6:50 Take courage; it is I, do not be afraid.

            I am in your circumstances, Georgann.

                                   Do not be afraid.


December 16

Mark 7:15 What I SAY defiles me, and what I DO.

            7:20-23 Those rotten things come out of my heart—evil thoughts and evil deeds and evil words come right out of my heart.

I will go to prayer to ask for a CLEAN heart, pure heart, consciousness of Christ.

Also, the Pastoral meeting is tonight. I must be given over to my Lord.

*My parents are George and Grayce. I was a school teacher.

176- Mark says…

176- Mark says…

December 9, 1985 – 4:30am

Quote from Tolstoy’s story of ‘The Cobbler’s Visitor’–

“Your despair comes because you wish to live for your own happiness. Read the gospels: there you will see how God would have you live.”

So, I am reading the gospel of Mark.

1:8 He wants me to be baptized with the Holy Spirit

1:9 He believes in water baptism

1:15 He wants me to repent (turn from not believing) and believe (put my trust in) the gospel

1:17 He wants me to be a fisher of men. He will make me one if I come with Him.

1:2 He wants me to take authority over unclean spirits (“do the works that I do”)

1:35 He went early to a lonely place to pray. I am to go early and alone to pray.

2:5,6 Jesus wants faith from me, not Pharisaical reasoning.

I put my trust in You for time to work on Timmy’s reading, the chores, the needed Christmas gifts—my reason tells me it is too much, but I put my trust in You.

2:17 Jesus went to the sick, those who knew they needed Him.

I am trying to minister to people who do not need me. Saw this last week. Send me to a sick person, Lord.

Father, it just occurred to me that at church I do not feel valued. I am not asked to participate. I am not called to pray nor is my opinion asked, by my fellows in leadership. It is as if I am of no value to them and that they do not respect me or my spirituality. They are ‘significant others’ to me, consequently I am hurt deeply. I put this at Your feet. Help it not to matter, or change me, please.

How can I learn from this? How can I help my sons and my husband to feel valued. This I lay at Your feet also.

168- When I Repent, He Listens

168- When I Repent,

He Listens

November 21, 1985 – 5:15am, by the grace of God—also up early yesterday

Good experience at boys’ nap time of mending, praying, praying in my payer language. I did not FEEL that I was accomplishing anything. But I saw such a difference in my attitude later! Praise Jesus!

Also- I had an insight Tuesday night. Through something I read, and an experience of conversation with Dan, I saw that I really am possessive with him. Made me see how really insecure I am. Made me think about home school and how much of ME was involved in not deciding on a specific curriculum. Did I really want to do it myself from our own resources?

I repent of possessiveness regarding Dan and each boy.

I let go by my will. I desire to trust Your sovereign hand in each of our lives.

I repent of relying on my own resources to teach Tim. I humbly ask that You bring me the curriculum that would best suit Timmy (learning) and me (teaching). I thank You for forgiving me whenever I acknowledge my sin. I thank You for your continual love and conviction. I desire to walk before You in holiness and purity and faith.

I release myself to trust You regarding the boys’ friends and experiences.

I confess fear and insecurity and power-struggling with You. I confess this because of a TINY voice saying it could be true.

When You said through Joyce to let go of the reins and KathyS had the Moses passage—I struggled and analyzed and thought and prayed. But I did not just say: You are God, I trust these prophetic utterances and I lay myself down and repent by faith. I still have no gut indication that this is true, but only faith. I do this now.

I pray for the following

*Dan’s ministering

*my ministering

*our ministry together

*home school curriculum

*the boys’ friendships, experiences

*Wed night area meeting

*Ladies’ Bible study

*listening to friends’ voices that have overpowered me….

Psalm 37:5 Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.

142- Reading the Word to Stay in Faith

142- Reading the Word to Stay in Faith

February 27, 1985

Up with Daniel the other night. While walking Daniel and talking to the Lord, I was overwhelmed by remembering the blatant sin I’d been snared by (willingly) in those years away from God (eight years in my twenties). I have wondered if the scars on my personality, emotions and reputation will forever keep me from ministry to others and from happiness?

The next morning I ‘happened’ upon:

Luke 7:36-50 paraphrased: Jesus told a Pharisee a story with the moral that the person who has sinned the most and is forgiven is the one who will love Him more. Then He said to the immoral woman who was ministering to Him out of her brokenness and love, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.

And then the Spirit led me to:

Mark 5:34 And Jesus said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace and be healed of your affliction.”

From these verses, Lord, I perceive that my own faith is weak. So I am going to read as much of the gospels as I can before the Ladies’ Luncheon on Saturday. My faith must be strong to receive from Jesus and be healed of my afflictions: poor self-concept and bondage to my immoral past.

138- Adopting God’s Values

138- Adopting God’s Values

January 3, 1985

Yesterday morning, I sleepily read Psalm 1, and then as I thought about it on my walk I decided that my goal for 1985 will be chewing on Your word.

Psalm 1: 2-3 But His delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night; and he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither, and whatever he does shall prosper.

That’s interesting: Your idea of PROSPERING is through focusing on the Bible as my treasure, while the world’s way of PROSPERING is acquiring CASH!

During the boys’ nap time I did my weekly Bible study in James, and the subject was riches and wealth! You are impressing me with Your values and helping me get mine in line with Yours. Help me to hear what You are trying to tell me!

Lord you are really convicting me soundly of a superficial lifting up of wealthy people. Today I see clearly that I have been prejudiced towards the goods and status of the affluent in our church. I repented of showing favoritism to them.

In the study there were many scriptures for me to look up about “God’s favor toward the poor.” I found it in my heart to be very willing before the Lord to live in the Glenn Duncan area [where I taught school many years ago]. I am praying about that being the area of town we move to. After we moved here, we quickly realized that the $600 a month rent that we pay here on Grandview Avenue is too much so we have looked at the Shultz’s house in Sparks and want to look at Prosser’s and Plouman’s rentals in the Glenn Duncan area. If we move there it means I would be ministering to some of my previous students.

Also regarding riches:

I realized through my conversation with Jackie this morning that I cannot keep up with her and Susie. They have more available cash than I do–and they want to start making Christmas gifts already! My time and assets do not allow me to join them. I felt very competitive during the conversation—trying desperately to prove that I’m okay and to get some positive attention for myself because I cannot compete with them on other levels (cookie baking, gift making, gift giving). I would like our relationship to continue in spite of this.

You are wonderful, God. Keep speaking to me about our faith walk, our attitudes about money, about making hard decisions in order to stay in sync with what we believe. I want to be in Your favor and Your will.

I have become very interested in trusting Your supplying most of our goods. Since we have a little money in the bank, we have bought some things (still not much) rather than praying, believing, and waiting. A faith walk is so much more rewarding a life style, though a bit more stressful than just writing a check. I take to heart: the just shall live by faith but if anyone draws back My soul has no pleasure in him and without faith it is impossible to please Him. Hebrews 10:38, Romans 1:17

134- Back in Step, but Wrestling with Moods

134- Back in Step,

but Wrestling with Moods

December 18, 1984, continued

I was back into my almost-daily time with the Lord, pouring out my heart, talking to Him about everything, and going to the Bible for relevant verses to encourage myself in the truth.

Lord, looking back over the last two weeks:

DISTRESSED: feeling generally nervous and irritable–partly because Mark and the baby had bad colds and that kept us home bound for a solid week (and friends away!); I broke my tooth on a corn nut; I had canker sores plus an added virus on my tongue and in my throat; grieving over an angry outburst; Christmas pressures, including comparing ours with our friends’ plans; back to worrying about birth control.

BLESSED: because I received compassion and prayer from my support group: Jackie, Susie, Jan. And super blessed because Dan has been totally non-condemning, accepting, loving, kind, understanding of my moodiness.

ENCOURAGED: that at the men’s prayer breakfast that Dan goes to at church every Wednesday morning there was a word from the Lord for the married men from the single guy about loving their wives.

Dan and I are becoming more real-life humans. I’ve backed off from complaining about him being gone so much, realizing we need money to live! The job he has at the church as foreman of the building project requires extremely long hours (50-70 hours a week).



*God will comfort, I need to come to Him.

*Got is cleansing me, refining me.

*There is HOPE in Christ ALWAYS.

*I am really loved– by God, my husband, and my friends.

Ephesians 5:1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children, and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us…

        8 for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of the light…trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.

        15 be careful how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,

        18 be filled with the Spirit,

        19 singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;

        20 always giving thanks for all things…

        22 wives be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord

Father, I see impurity in me from a greedy, competitive, covetous heart. CLEANSE ME. I accept Christ’s work on the cross. The better alternative is imitating God, being a reflection of Him.

Thank You that I can come to the Word and receive the truth from Your perspective–wiser than the world, full of power and direction.

133- Firmly Established Hope

133- Firmly Established Hope

December 18, 1984

The phone just rang—it was Michele with a compassionate heart. Yesterday when I asked Dan about counseling with someone he suggested Carla, but now I’m thinking Michele.

Received a letter from Bruce, in Florida.

Both Michele and Bruce said the same thing: stand on the Word.

Luke 21:33 Heaven and earth will pass away, but MY WORDS will not pass away.

I can depend on God’s word.

1 Corinthians 1:7 and our hope for you is firmly grounded, knowing that as you are sharers of our sufferings you are also sharers of our comfort.

There is HOPE. It is firmly established hope. We have sufferings as Christians, but we also have much comfort: 

1-in Christ  2 Cor 9:8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed

2-in the Holy Spirit – John 14:16 I will pray the Father, and He shall give you another Comforter, that He may abide with you forever.

3in the Father of all mercies, the God of all comfort – Corinthians 1:3  Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort.

I still feel my burdens are far beyond my ability to cope right now.

2 Corinthians 1:8-9 For we…were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead.

There is a reason for these sufferings which are putting our own resources to death. It is so we will not trust in ourselves but in God.

2 Corinthians 1:10 who (God) delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, HE ON WHOM WE HAVE SET OUR HOPE. AND HE WILL YET DELIVER US.

I really was in despair. I was clinging to God the best I knew how, but I was very depressed. At some point during these months that we lived at the Grandview place, I loaded the boys into the car and drove up to the church property and told Dan that I felt completely hopeless and could only see blackness. He said, “It’s the devil. Don’t listen to his lies.” He prayed a quick prayer for me and something awful broke off of me. It had been sucking me into darkness and hopelessness. Jesus said: And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. John 8:32    Praise God, I was free. It was that easy. And that spirit never returned.

131- Endure it? Or–Face It and Smash It!

131- Endure It?

Or – Face It and Smash It!

December 12, 1984

2 Corinthians 1:8 we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength…

This is how I feel. Barely able to go on. Everything has overwhelmed me. I am confused and of course guilty-feeling that as a ten year old Christian I cannot cope with my daily life. Bought vitamins today—they will take a few days to take effect. Exercise, very good nutrition, and an acceptance of my condition. I need discipline that I do not of myself possess to keep eating right and walking daily. I am putting my trust in You, Jesus.

*Awesome verse from Susie this morning: Nahum 1:7 The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, and He knows those who trust Him.

December 14

1 Peter 4:6-7 Humble yourselves therefore, under the mighty hand of God that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all our anxiety on Him for He cares for you.

December 15

*from a fortune cookie at Pastor’s ministry dinner last night:

Psalm 37:11 The meek shall inherit the earth and shall delight …in the abundance of peace.

*from the calendar for Friday:

Isaiah 29:19 The meek also shall increase their joy in the Lord, and the poor among men shall rejoice in the Holy One of Israel.

*meek meaning humble

Several days ago I felt drawn to Exodus 34 regarding Moses entreating the Lord on behalf of the children of Israel. I put verses 5-16 up by the sink. As I was reading it, doing the dishes, it occurred to me that the troubles I’ve been having could be in order to drive out the ‘ites’ in me. He says make no covenants. I wonder if saying I have PMS is binding me to it, when I could smash it!

Also, my jaw was aching awfully; sang and prayed the boys’ prayers at bedtime. I was really relieved.

Jenny is troubled very similarly, hormonally. She said it’s spiritual, don’t look for an out. Face God with it. [Although a few months later she went to a PMS clinic in California and received vitamins and hormone therapy.]

130- I Accept Your Mercies

130- I Accept Your Mercies

December 11, 1984

2 Corinthians 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort-

*the Father of mercies – my Bible says: this is His job and His joy

*the God of all comfort – all means ALL – when I need it, He’s got it for me

v 4 who comforts us in all our affliction

*once again, all means all

*affliction refers to trouble and calamity

2 Timothy 3:16-17 All scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.

The Bible is inspired by God for everything I need. 

 am God’s born again child.

The Bible is true.

Every word is Spirit-breathed – 2 Timothy 3:16

None of my trouble, then, is out of His interest.

ALL means ALL. I receive Your comfort, Father.

Lamentations 3:22-23 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.

I receive Your mercy—new every morning 

With great gratefulness. Humbly.

Because proudly I cannot receive.

When I am proud I do not see my need.

And if I do…I do not ask.

When my flesh and the devil say God has put up with me all He can and I’m on my own, help me remember this verse, Father. 

Self-diagnosis: PMS was the pop ailment of the day, and I had all of the symptoms. Dan said I could get whatever I needed in the way of food and vitamins. This was answered prayer.

Mark, sitting on the back steps of Grandview.

A few days ago I wanted to comfort Mark. He held tightly to his blankie, which he calls his “wankily” and would not accept my love. I saw that You must be so crushed when we turn away from Your offered love.