82- Look Up!

82- Look Up!

August 18, 1982

Colossians 3:2-3 Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ with God.

On the road of life I am to be looking up to Jesus and keeping my faith in Him for all things!

AND YET, part of me argues:

because all the things on earth that I’m not supposed to be looking at are continually vying for my attention!

*bare cement floors

*only 2 doors (our bedroom and one bathroom)

*no window coverings in living room and guest room

*weedy yard (though not like our neighbors’ yards)

*no snow tires on vehicles, but decent regular tires

*Dan: working only part-time, sick with chest cold

*me: allergies, pooped, hair growing and growing, no money for haircut or blood panel or vitamins

I could go on, but it seems ridiculous to list the things I’m not supposed to be putting my mind on!

These last few days have been difficult. They remind me how much grace comes from reading the Word and humbly asking for it.

August 19

Two negative attitudes are having a great effect of me:

1– that God will not supply our needs for window coverings (there are 32 windows in this house), and floor coverings—therefore we will be cold this winter, get sick, maybe even die.

God speaks:

1 Timothy 6:6-8 But godliness with contentment is great gain; for we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. AND HAVING FOOD AND RAIMENT LET US BE THEREWITH CONTENT.

2being inside day in and day out, at home, is making me nervous. Taking the three boys out to visit and shopping makes me nervous.

God speaks:

Colossians 3:12 Put on, therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, tender mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering, forebearing, forgiving…

v 14 and above all put on love which is the bond of perfectness

v 15 and let the peace of God rule in your hearts to which also ye are called in one body; and be thankful.

v 16 Let the Word dwell richly in you.

September 2

Yesterday morning we prayed about money situation—bills due, vitamins needed, account overdrawn. In the mail came $50. And Dan has a job today that will bring money in.

September 6 Yesterday we received a check from Dan’s dad because he cashed in his life insurance policy –$5,140. PRAISE GOD. More than we expected! Humbled and grateful.

79- Perspective!

79- Perspective!

August 2, 1982 Feeling a bit discouraged by the day’s circumstances. But Jesus said to me what He said to Martha: Did I not say to you, Georgann, if you believe, you will see the glory of God? John 11:40

Thinking about the way our lives have gone, the reasons He has had us walk by faith and not by sight…it has been for discipline and humbling, says the Lord. He is testing us to see if we will keep our eyes on Him and stay with Him, and follow His leading, or if we will bolt when we feel the crunch and life gets too dicey.

The children of Israel and the Presence of the Lord as they moved toward the promised land.

Deuteronomy 8:1-5

All the commandments that I am commanding you today you shall be careful to do, that you may live and multiply, and go in and possess the land which the Lord swore to give to your forefathers. And you shall remember all the way which the Lord your God has led you in the wilderness these forty years, that He might humble you, testing you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. And He humbled you and let you be hungry, and fed you with manna which you did not know, that He might make you understand that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by everything that proceeds out of the mouth of the Lord. Your clothing did not wear out, nor did your foot swell these forty years. Thus you are to know in your heart that the Lord your God was disciplining you just as a man disciplines his son…v 17 Otherwise you may say in your heart, “My power and the strength of my hand made me this wealth.”

August 4

Hebrews 10:1-18 paraphrased: Following the law cannot make people perfect, but we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. He has put His laws upon our hearts, and He remembers our sins and our lawless deeds no more.

I wrote my thoughts about this:

Only Jesus,

Jesus only,

satisfies God’s requisites.

Once for all He did what I could never do.

So—

trust Jesus,

do all in His Name, power, love.

God sees Jesus in Me

and loves me.

Jesus is perfect, holy,

Lord, love.

72- Looking Back to the ’80’s from 2017 Vantage Point

72- Looking Back to the 80’s from 2017 Vantage Point

Looking back to another time…

As I (now age 72) am reading my journals for this blog, looking WAY back to another time, they were full of my crying out to the Lord. I was trading my brokenness for His strength. I was overwhelmed in my circumstances and knew that I needed the life of Jesus which was inside me to pour forth out of me in order to cope with the day-to-day, to make sense of everything, to keep me afloat.

I felt earnestly my responsibility of raising our boys carefully so that they would grow up to love the Lord, be strong in their walks with Him, and be prepared for the mission field, should God resume and confirm our call.

I also wanted to please God and please my husband. I had married a man who was a real man: smart, responsible, hard working, mature. He had failed in his first marriage, as had I, and we were both committed to our success as a team. He read and studied his Bible, and lived for God and family. He also adopted the ‘going to church’ mentality, which meant we all went to church together. There were lots of meetings in all the churches in the 1980’s.

Everyone we knew in Life Center Church was there every time the doors were opened, a minimum of Sunday morning, Sunday evening, and also for the Wednesday night home groups. That’s where we worshiped the Lord, that’s where our friendships were. As the boys grew up, their friends were our friends’ kids, friendships that lasted through their teen years, into adulthood, and continuing to this day. Our sons are turning 38, 37, 35, 33 this year. Even though people have moved, they keep in touch through Facebook, etc.

The following are verses that motivated me in my early walk in pursuing Jesus every day and still motivate me today. The thing is, my journals are still full of me pouring my heart out to Him.

You will seek Me and find Me when you search for me with all your heart.

I sought the Lord and He heard me and delivered me from all my fears.

But as for me, I TRUST in You, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in Your hand.

But he who TRUSTS in the Lord, mercy shall surround him.

You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance.

Behold the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, on those who hope in His mercy.

Jeremiah 29:13; Psalm 34:4; Psalm 31:14-15a; Psalm 32:10; Psalm 32:7;Psalm 33:18.

My message is: be glad if you are weak, insecure, not confident—that means that more than other people you will go to Jesus continuously for His strength, for His security, and for His confidence.  And for your daily life you will need His perspective and His ability to persevere in you through your trials. Because you are aware of what you are not–You will be diligently seeking Him and leaning on Him, and you will receive much favor.

Psalm 147:11 The Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love. NIV

Psalm 149:4 For the Lord takes delight in his people; He crowns the humble with victory. NIV

Be glad if you feel that you are untalented, because in time He will unearth gold in you and use you!

Don’t wallow in what you are not. Jesus has everything we need and is the most generous Person I know. He loves to share His life. As He writes blogs and books through me, He gets the credit because I am dialoguing with Him through every paragraph! People will say: “SHE can write?? I never knew it was in her.”

As He sings through you, people will say: “I’ve sat near her in church and she really worships and loves the Lord,” and He gets the credit.

As you become strong in everyone’s sight because you are relying on Jesus for everything, those who know the real you (the insecure you who feels ineffectual and inferior) will be amazed at how the Lord shines through you.

And in all these things, He gets the attention, He gets the glory! And that is really what it is all about.

65- Pride is the Problem and Jesus is Calling

65- Pride is the Problem and Jesus is Calling

Nov 2, 1981 – We are still attending The Pursuit of Holiness (A.W. Tozier) Wednesday night classes at church under Gene’s teaching. Last night I felt I heard from the Lord: “Pride is the problem I am dealing with in you. PRIDE is the root of your discontent. I see your trials.” [Specifically: home alone day after day with the boys, pregnancy and its limitations, being a homemaker (not out in the workforce), bronchitis, anemia, having to quit babysitting, being of little use in ministry.]

This morning, weakness was overtaking me. All I could think is, “I cannot cope.” The boys’ whining put me in tears. I thought of all sorts of escapes—leaving them with a friend for the day, staying in bed all day, going for counseling. But a verse came to mind from class last night:

Romans 8:26-27 And in the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groaning too deep for words. And He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

I prayed this, having not the gift of tongues, but desperately asking the Spirit to pray for my weakness.

And I was IMMEDIATELY strengthened in His might. Amen. I was immediately strengthened in my attitude and my emotions and even physically. Amen. Praise God!

My perspective changed. I was able to meet the boys’ needs, be kinder. I got my eyes off of me me me and experienced the love and joy of the Lord.

Jan 20, 1982  In praying, God revealed the great LOG of PRIDE toward most of humanity! He was pointing out that I have been gravitating toward the COOL people! I am shocked, but it is so true. I have been getting strokes from having friends of a certain status, thinking that associating with them makes me ‘okay.’  At the same time I have been distancing myself from certain other people. WRONG!

I was thinking of a really pious note I could write to Jim and Lissa about being glad I could identify with the drunk, the whore, the drug taker, the liar –since I was once there. And yet here I am now relating to a proud group of people and enjoying it. JUST AS BAD!

So I timidly say, “Lord, change me.”

I no longer say, as I did when I was single: “change me whatever the cost.” Then, it was only me that would suffer. Now I could lose so much—Dan and the boys.

Pull me back, Lord. I hear you calling me!

Jesus is calling!

63- Father, You Love Me Because of Christ

63- Father, You Love Me Because of Christ!

Sept 18 and 24, 1981

Praise to the Lord for opening my eyes as I read Ephesians 1 and 2. Our blessings from God are surely all because of Christ, in Christ, through Christ. I must know You, Christ Jesus. I want to seek You and be like You. God loves You so much and because of You, loves me!!

Chapter 1 –Father, You have blessed us with every spiritual blessing IN Christ, You chose us IN Him, You adopted us BY Christ, and because of Christ You made us accepted in the Beloved.

IN Christ we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins BY CHRIST’S GRACE.

Chapter 2 –I was dead in sin and in living in the lusts of the flesh , indulging in the desires of the flesh, by nature a child of wrath.

BUT GOD, You loved me—and because of Christ, You made me alive with Christ and raised me up to the heavenlies with Christ so that You could show how graceful You were to me in Christ. And on and on.

I am raised to the heavenlies with Christ

Father, You are talking about Your wonderful love and Christ—I can barely fathom what You are saying. I see You are so deep. How can I resist You? I trust You to lead me in Your way to Yourself. Let Your perfect love cast out all fear. Christ sounds so irresistible. I feel I have barely even scratched the surface in knowing Him. Praise to You.

61- Weak in Myself, But Strong in Christ

61- Weak in Myself,

But Strong in Christ

Sept 17, 1981

During this season and for many years to follow, my focus was on my sin, my weaknesses, my failing to measure up. I was always comparing myself to others and swinging between pride and humiliation, self-righteousness and guilt. And I had lots of verses to back up my whining. Here is one of them:

2 Corinthians 12:8-10  And He said unto me, “My grace is sufficient for thee; for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

To me this meant that if Paul was taking pleasure in negative experiences and trials, then I was supposed to also. Therefore, to be weak and distressed seemed like an acceptable spiritual thing. But I was conflicted because I was so miserable! And wasn’t Jesus’ joy supposed to be my strength?

Paul in Prison
Paul in Prison, by Rembrandt. Hmmm, this must have been just before he began to sing praises to the Lord!

Merlin Carothers wrote Prison to Praise in 1970. It is based on Ephesians 5:20 giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for You. Merlin helped millions of people escape from the ‘prison’ of their circumstances by encouraging them to praise God FOR the very thing that was the main problem in their lives. Thankfulness showed God that I trusted Him even in the midst of my trouble–much as Paul and Silas were set free in their spirits as they sang praises to God in their shackles.  

 Lord, I have been conscious of praising You for these weaknesses, which used to only condemn me and depress me. This has helped me considerably, because I seem to be free of being in bondage to them! And JOY came with the praising! 

Over the years having a praising and rejoicing and thankful heart have been of primary importance to my relationship with Christ. 

Sept 18, 1981  Praise to the Lord for opening my eyes this morning as I read Ephesians 1. Our blessings from God are surely all because of Christ, in Christ, through Christ. Thank You, Jesus.

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Ephesians 6:10

58- The Holy Spirit

58- The Holy Spirit

In Japan we had acutely realized our need for more teaching, more enlightenment, more growth in Christ.

When we returned from Japan we continued attending the EFree church. Yet, soon after we returned, we became very interested when a couple in the church began talking about the Holy Spirit. The subject was not taken up by the leadership as a topic to be pursued, but our interest was keen. We chose to change churches to pursue our quest for a deeper relationship with Jesus. Life Center church became our home church for many years.

Through new friends, we met Dick Munn and he prayed over us for the baptism of the Holy Spirit. When he was praying for Dan, he said his hands got very very hot and Dan began speaking in tongues fluently. I, on the other hand, while experiencing the same man’s prayers on the same night needed to pursued the Lord on and off for months to receive my prayer language!

woman praying
Crying out to the Lord to receive my prayer language.

Many days when the boys went down for their naps, I would kneel by our bed and I would seek God on the matter. One day I heard very clearly: “You don’t want to let go of control of your tongue. You are not willing to trust Me in this.” The conviction came, and I realized He was right! I agreed with Him and turned fully to Him, and began giving Him full access to renewing my mind and releasing my language. And finally after more seeking and praying tongues came. Thank You, Jesus.

At Life Center we joined the class that one of the elders, Bruce McKaig, was teaching about HEALING. This fed our hungry spirits and we began putting the teachings to use in our home, taking advantage of most illnesses to practice our new faith. We still went to the doctor. We combined faith and medicine.

God had arrested our attention in Japan that we were blocked in spiritual power. The couple who was seeking Holy Spirit fullness piqued our interest so that we pursued the Holy Spirit in a church that believed in His real power to heal and deliver. The prayer in the Munn’s home brought us to the baptism in the Holy Spirit, and the healing class expanded personal power and increased our faith in our knowledge of the Spirit’s power.

We were also reading books like They Speak with Other Tongues by John Sherrill, which is Episcopal priest’s Dennis Bennett’s story of the experience he had in 1960 of his personal Pentecost. I also read Prison to Praise, by Merlin Carothers. When everything seemed to be against him, he was advised by a Christian to stop complaining about his problems and start praising God FOR each problem! It changed his life and sharing this principle became his world-wide ministry, and it continues today after his death. When he was baptized in the Spirit, he was filled with overwhelming love for everyone he saw. The book can be accessed online as a pdf.

27- When He Asked, I Said, YES!

27- When He Asked, I Said, YES!

Our relationship took on new meaning from that point. I knew without doubt I was in love with Dan, and Dan was very happy to finally have his love returned!

Dan’s journal:

June 10, Saturday evening (more perfect timing arranged by the Lord). I asked Georgann if she thought she could marry me. YES, and we committed our love (union) to the glory of God.

June 11, GLOWING SUNDAY- picnic at Bowers with church friends.

Dan & Georgann, 1978
       Dan & Georgann, 1978, picnic at Bowers

Continue reading “27- When He Asked, I Said, YES!”

19-The Prodigal Daughter Runs Home

19-The Prodigal Daughter Runs Home

In my soul-searching over my dad’s slide into alcoholism, it seemed imperative that I talk to someone about my confusion and my questions as soon as possible.

Looking around at the people in my life, I beheld the merrymakers in the bars, my partying girlfriends, and the teachers I knew.

There were two women on the faculty who stood out.

When I expressed an interest in finding out more about her relationship with God, Raina*, who seemed like a very spiritual woman, invited me to dinner. After dessert she excitedly led me into a room where there were exhibited on a dresser top several small pictures depicting Mohammed, Krishna, Buddha, Jesus, and some other religious figures.

Continue reading “19-The Prodigal Daughter Runs Home”

17-I Came to My Senses

17-I Came to My Senses

In the fall of 1974, my teaching friends and I went to New Hampshire for a conference. My mom wrote that I came back with strange religious ideas, like reincarnation.

70s hip huggers and bellbottomsFor a year or so I had been reading books by Edgar Cayce and Ayn Rand, and others, and had subscribed to a daily devotional from a religious group called Unity. There was a void in me, and I was trying to fill it with ideas that were intriguing and mystical and being tossed about by some of my intellectual friends. Ideas that were without the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

In November my mom called me in tears. She said that daddy had received three DUI’s (Driving Under the Influence of alcohol) within a two week period. In shock, I cried with her and advised her to take Connie (who was still living at home) and go to an Al-Anon meeting as soon as possible. In the meantime I contacted a local Alcoholics Anonymous group, acquired some literature, and sent it to her.

This was the crisis that brought me to my knees. I was humbled, I was in shock, and I was afraid.

My rock was crumbling. The man who had always been steady and dependable for me was no longer strong. He had been in the background of my life, but he had been there. Although I had been living very independently for eight years, the realization hit me that I was just a small fish in a big pond. I was full of myself, enjoying the praises of colleagues in my profession and believing that I was somebody because a small group of partiers included me in their drinking games and antics. I was deluded, and the scales came from my eyes.

I also knew that of the three of us girls, I was most like our father in personality. Was I on the same path as my dad to alcohol dependence? I began to take stock of my own life.