117- Dan Loves Me and Jesus Loves Me

117- Dan Loves Me, and Jesus Loves Me

December 1, 1983

Dan loves me. I believe him.

December 8

The Homemaking Bible Study today ended up being a very painful experience. Dan prayed for me. Perhaps the Lord will give me feedback. I praise God for His continual unfailing love.

December 9

I need a revelation about my personality. There is something I think God is trying to get across. Dan says I am alright.

December 10

I am trying to justify being snarky, moody, and sour. The scripture gives me no support whatsoever.

Psalm 34:13 Keep your tongue from evil

                   14 Seek peace and pursue it

Proverbs 12:15 There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health.

December 18

Dan confessed our relationship is not what it should be. That he has been working hard at other things and has been taking me for granted. Praise the Lord.

January 19, 1984

3am A dream woke me up. It was about a former relationship and was upsetting. I got up to tend the fire and make sure the boys were covered and I felt I should stay up and settle some things with God.

When I said to God: “Dan is just a man. How long can he love me?”

God said: “As long as I can love you!”

Dan belongs to God, the relationship is divinely ordained and divinely sustained. (we have always known that God brought us together) I got assurance that I need have NO FEAR of God’s or Dan’s love running out the more they get to know me. We both will keep putting wrongs at the foot of the cross. Jesus will give us ongoing love for Himself and one another.

114- We Are Blessed!

114- We are blessed!

November 1, 1983

I went to Dr. Ruiz and had a positive urine test! I’m pregnant! Due in June.

God, You have definitely been preparing me and as I look at You I am at peace and in joy. In September I suspected, but with Mark being sick and in the hospital I was so distracted and stressed, I could not be sure.

When I consider facing my parents and 95% of my Christian friends my blood runs cold because they will see us as foolish. SPEAK, LORD. I NEED A RHEMA FROM YOU!

HEBREWS 10:38 Now the just shall live by faith; but if anyone draws back, My soul has no pleasure in him.

Habakkuk 2:4c But the just shall live by his faith.

Dan gave me: Psalm 23:3b He leads me in the paths of righteous for HIS NAMESAKE.

It is for Jesus’ namesake that I go this way—hallelujah!

Tynale Commentary on the Bible on Psalm 23:3: The righteous one (whether an individual or a group) who belongs to God and whose trust continues in God and His promises SHALL LIVE, i.e., shall survive the present trial and receive His eternal reward. If, however, he DRAWS BACK THROUGH fear, God shall have no pleasure in him.

Dan also gave me: Psalm 128:1-4 Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in His ways….Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table. Behold thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord.

Our sons were 4, 3, and 1 when I had the positive pregnancy test! And, yes, people’s mouths fell open as the word got around that baby #4 was due in June.

As I re-read this post of my journal entries, I sound a little like a kook! But Dan and I have walked by faith our entire experience with Jesus. We have wanted to hear from Him and we have wanted to please Him by obeying Him. If others did not understand us, it was hard to bear sometimes, but it was okay. He always made sure we had at least one or two people who got it –because they lived that way also, or because they wished they could live in that kind of faith and they admired us for doing it. As the years have passed, we have matured, and we still walk by faith, seeking Him, listening and waiting for His word.

113- Praying, Surrendering, Hearing from God

113- Praying, Surrendering, Hearing from God

August 16, 1983

Surrendering to You, Lord, I release our house, our living in Reno, our church and friends, our close-by relatives (Dan’s) and our far-away relatives (mine).

I open myself up— 

*to prosperity

*to deeper teaching of the Word

*to geographical move

*to a closer walk with You

*to being the wife of a student

*to embracing Dan’s furthering his education

 September 2

I am claiming this:

Isaiah 32:18 My people will dwell in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.

September 6

I MUST keep full of the Word – or else I am not secure about Jesus being all I need and worthy of worship and service.

September 8

I am realizing that I am very fearful and anxious about the unknown…the next step…

moving… where?… we sent letters to four Bible schools.

I need grace for this Jesus.

Philippians 3:8 I count all things loss …and count them as rubbish that I may gain Christ.

September 14

John 10:11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep.

Realizing that I am to shepherd my boys and give my life for them—really, lay down my life daily on their behalf, that THEY might be raised to fear God. I do choose that.

Having lately chosen intercession over friendships has been wonderful, and turning to praying over socializing. I hope I will be able to continue. On Saturday at the KNIS picnic such a work of the Spirit had happened in me that I SAW gossip, I SAW the “traps” and stayed clear.

108- Not a Speck – Part I

108- Not A Speck –

Part I

July 4, 1983

I need love and deep peace, Lord. There’s not a speck of it in me.

2 John 1:5 …a new commandment…that we love one another.

Bible notes: The new law of Christ is the divine love as wrought into the renewed heart by the Holy Spirit.

Romans 5:5 …because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit…

Bible notes: This love flows out in the energy of the Spirit, unforced and spontaneous, toward the objects of the divine love. Continue reading “108- Not a Speck – Part I”

105- Not Worthy? That’s a Lie.

105- Not Worthy?

That’s a Lie!

In the original entry this encompassed more thoughts and verses. I simplified it.

June 27, 1983

I think I just saw something!!

Psalm 51:6 Behold, You desire TRUTH in the inward parts, and in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.

There is a lie in my innermost being that continually says I am not worthy.

YES, THERE IS A LIE. WHAT IS THE LIE, FATHER? EXPOSE IT PLEASE.

Is there an incident, a person,  or a sin my mother passed on to me?

I think—all I need to do is BELIEVE I am worthy—

The flesh says: you will be a traitor to me if you believe you are loved. You would not be as I have trained you to be—willful, selfish, spoiled, negative, impatient.

But I say: I am in the image of my heavenly Father. The fruit of His Spirit is to flow from me continually.

I am free to love my children as an imperfect person and I am free to not expect them to be perfect.

I am free to let Christ himself live through me.

The chains are broken to my flesh, my house, my past.

I am free to let go and enjoy my husband and my children.

I am free to trust Christ.

I am free TO TRUST CHRIST.

I am free to be near or leave my parents and sisters.

I am free to leave Reno, Life Center, the safety of the known for the unknown.

104- A Foot Washing

104- A Foot Washing

For several weeks the boys and I had been attending a women’s Bible study with other ladies and their children in our church. The older women arranged it so that babysitting was provided and the moms could have a break to get together around the Bible.

June 24, 1983

We washed each other’s feet at Carla’s Homemaking Bible Study. I washed Lynn’s. Diane washed mine.

Diane loves me. This always surprises me. She really thinks I am wonderful. Possibly the admiration I feel toward Jenny. It is humbling.

Kathy S called today and said that one of the things Diane had prayed for me was for a beautiful crown. Kathy said she had wanted to tell me a couple of weeks ago that she felt that’s what God had for me. (That week, I’m remembering, I had been bellyaching about finances and He was thinking about me wearing a beautiful crown!)

In my reading this morning:

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

You amaze me, Lord. Thank You—this is written to all who love You. This helps me to want to not complain even more. I am getting a CROWN for the test so why would I bellyache when I could be choosing to walk in the Spirit, which is pleasing to God, to my husband, and to my children.

Romans 8:6-8 For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God…But if the spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, WHICH HE DOES, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His spirit who dwells in you.

I choose life in the Spirit.

103- Cling to Christ – Part III

103- Cling to Christ – Part III

On June 17, 1983 – last week I groaned over my actions and wrote in my journal:

Galatians 4:19 My little children, for whom I labor in birth again until Christ is formed in you—

WOW! that’s it—I want to do this for my own little children—care carefully for them so that Christ will be formed in them!

Proverbs 17:27 He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.

What are my two biggest problems?

*too many words

*a negative, depressive, cast down spirit.

All of this says to me, you’ve got a rotten heart – the flesh nature – I sense the Lord saying:

“Don’t turn to men or put your trust in men in order to build yourself up, to get feedback, or to vent your frustrations!

Look to Me. You can get knowledge and understanding and have the self-control and the joyful spirit you so greatly desire. TRUST WHOLLY IN THE LORD!

Your friend [Jenny] sought Me out for three weeks and received! Let’s go.”

What a great and glorious miracle I am asking for! You met Jenny in her seeking, You will meet me.

Lead, my dear Spirit

102- Consider Your Temperament – Part II

102 – Consider Your Temperament – 

And Cling to Christ – Part II

 

June 22, 1983 -continued

Through the daily prayer guide we are reading I was led to this verse:

Samuel said this to the people:

1 Samuel 12:20-24 (paraphrased) Do not turn aside from following the Lord, serve the Him with all your heart; don’t turn to vain things because they cannot profit nor deliver you. The Lord will not forsake His people for His great name’s sake because it pleased Him to make you His own. He will teach you the good and the right way. Serve Him in truth with all your heart, considering the great things He has done for you.

The Holy Spirit said this to me personally:

If I don’t serve Him with all my heart and soul, I will find myself following vain things—things which will not be of any benefit to me and they will not deliver me. Jesus will not ever forsake me. He has an investment me. Think of the great things He has done for me. He was happy to make me His own. The Holy Spirit will pray for me and teach me. He is saying, “Georgann, fear God, serve Him the way He wants to be served. Honor Him for all He has done for you.”

On my Bible tapes, I heard through Galatians 5 and 6: You cannot fool God. You will grow what you plant! If you plant your flesh, you will grow flesh—this pertains to my character as well as to my sons—do I want to grow flesh-filled kids or Spirit-filled kids??? HEAVY!

I am to press in to the Spirit and not stay in discouragement or weariness. I am to keep myself encouraged in Christ! I WILL REAP good fruit if I hang in there with Jesus all the way!

99- Chapel by the Sea and a Fleece

99- Chapel by the Sea

and a Fleece

We visited my parents and attended the church, Chapel by the Sea, that was pastored by the man who married us. I wrote this the next day:

April 18, 1983

I was worried that God was not getting through to us—that He wanted to speak to us and direct us, but we’d missed it. So I put out a little fleece before the Lord, as to whether Dan was hearing Him rightly. The answer was: YES he was.

That devil is goading me to doubt that God will make sure we get the message He is trying to give us. But Dan heard it.

I rebuke you, Doubt, in the name of Jesus Christ!

Today: Psalm 48:14 For this God is our God forever and ever. He will be our guide even unto death! Amen

We continuously seek Him.

This verse is TRUE for us. Amen

95- Guilty of Faultfinding!

95- Guilty of Faultfinding!

A little article in Guideposts magazine by Catherine Marshall brought a big conviction!

Catherine Marshall was the wife of Peter Marshall a famous Presbyterian pastor who also served as Chaplain of the Senate in Washington DC. She is known for her writings of fiction, non-fiction, and books she edited of her husband’s sermons and prayers. Her best known books are: A Man Called Peter, which was on the NY Bestseller’s List for three years in the 1950’s, and Christy, the story of her mother’s years as a teacher of children in the Appalachians.

February 24, 1983

One day, Catherine asked the Lord if He had any special word for her that day. He told her she was to fast from faultfinding, to accept people as they were and to drop her judgment of them.

Catherine wrote that she was inclined to be a perfectionist, meaning critical of herself and others—“a habit that tends toward judgment.”

She proposed that the cessation of faultfinding leads to creativity, goodwill, mercy, better health, better relationships.

Father–I am the faultfinder of the age! It’s sickening! I judge everyone and everything. I always have an opinion. I feel I see things rightly and others quite often are misguided.

I remember: when I was about 12 my mom said, “You used to be so tactful.”

I need to be done with this very seriously detrimental traitMy God shall supply all my need to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:19

You know, Lord, I wonder what Dan thinks I think of him, I find so much fault in others.  Let me try by Your divine enablement, to fast from faultfinding.

From a World MAP (missionary) magazine: do a sober self-evaluation to assess your personal resources for the Lord’s use in future fruitful endeavors.

Remembering: 2 Corinthians 12:9 My grace is sufficient for you, My strength is made perfect in weakness. This means: sufficient for me to live victoriously despite the devil’s buffeting!

March 4  Lord, You are faithful. I am realizing that what I have NOT LIKED in several people–what has really separated us–has been faultfinding! And I see that I am a chief offender.