365 – He Brings It All Into the Light

365 – He Brings It All

Into the Light

August 15, 1989 San Francisco

1 Corinthians 4:5…He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart…

v 7 who makes you different from anyone else? what do you have that you did not receive? and if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?

I feel You are speaking to me, but I need the revelation of the Spirit to understand and to make this specific.

About 15 minutes later, He was specific. In the shower the Lord said through me: “I am not better than my children in God’s eyes.”

The Light dawned. With great joy I kept saying it over and over!

Because…if I think I am better than somebody, I do not mind being rude to him. I do not mind ruling over him or sinning by being uncharitable.

I am crying out for wisdom as to how to become a different person through Christ’s help.

Proverbs 16:21 The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction.

23 A wise man’s heart guides his mouth

24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones

32 Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.

362 – Shook Up

This earthquake was not the big one but it was coming

August 8, 1989 San Francisco

Earthquake! 1:15am, and aftershock. At 9am another earthquake. We went to Auntie Yvonne’s and Grandma Fern’s motel, just to be away from this building.

Dan says this building, Bridgemont, is like the buildings in the Armenian earthquake we saw videos of recently. It is made of reinforced concrete, poured in 1935 and not structurally sound. In a big quake the floors would collapse on top of each other. There are four stories and we are lodged on number two.

We want to move as soon as possible. Anywhere! The only hangup I see is that we need to be where we can home school without stress and trouble. California and Nevada would work.

August 9

We got a letter from the McNeals that is so exciting because they are doing the STUFF of the gospel in Kenya!! Seeing Jesus work MIRACLES!

Last spring, Elim wanted us to go to Hong Kong and pass Bibles and Dan would teach Bible studies. Sounding real good now!

August 10

There has been so much stress because of the earthquakes. At church, I worshiped and fervently sought the Lord, then went forward for prayer. I asked the Lord for a word of wisdom. During the pastor’s message, the Lord said to me:

You can pray for the boys and gently teach them, but you cannot make their arms embrace Jesus or their heads bow to Him.

We read yesterday in Treasures of the Snow, Grandmother encouraged Annette: “you are going to look after little children…they won’t always be good with you. Often you will feel cross and impatient and bad tempered. But the love of Jesus is long suffering and kind; ask Him to meet those cross, bad-tempered thoughts with His love and you’ll find they will leave….If your heart is full of love, there won’t be room for discontent.” pages 236-237

Love suffereth long and is kind; love envieth not;

love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up. 1 Corinthians 13:4

361 – Moving Out of Conceit

361 Moving Out of Conceit

August 7, 1989, continued

Give me verses, Jesus, of what my attitude SHOULD BE:

Jeremiah 44:10 humble myself and show reverence to God

Romans 12:3 Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

4-8 use the gifts He has given

9 love must be sincere

10 be devoted to one another in brotherly love; honor one another above yourselves

14 bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse

16 live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud but be willing to associate with people of low position.

And… do not be conceited!

Galatians 5:26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying one another.

Philippians 2:3-5 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather in humility value others better than yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.

1 Peter 5:5b All of you clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

1 Peter 3:8 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.

360 – Treasures of the Snow

360 Treasures of the Snow

August 7, 1989 San Francisco

We had two vacation days. We kept our home our base and slept there, but spent the days at the beach in Half Moon Bay and the evenings having a fire and cookout at the Cliff House beach. The boys found a boogie board. The string was gone so it had been discarded. Fun for four boys!

Psalm 8:2 From the lips of children and infants You have ordained praise because of Your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger.

How God Works: We have been reading Treasures of the Snow, loaned by Kathy Reed. Wonderful. Tonight my heart was pierced.

Grandmother says, “Annette, learn to forgive and be kind, and stop thinking yourself better than other people.” “I don’t.” “You do, or you would not find it so difficult to forgive them….When Jesus with His great love and forgiveness comes into our hearts there just isn’t room for unkindness and selfishness and unforgiving thoughts. They go like darkness when the sun shines in.”

“And there is something else besides unkindness that the love of Jesus casts out.

1 John 4:18-19 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear; because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us.”

“Every day of your life ugly, angry, selfish thoughts will knock at the door and try to get in. Don’t try to push them back yourself; ask the Lord Jesus to meet them with His love. Think about the love of Jesus all you can. Read about the love of Jesus everyday in your Bible, and if you keep your heart full of it there just won’t be room for those thoughts to stay.”

“Read carefully all the story of the life of Jesus and think a great deal about the way that He loved, and remember that it’s that same love that came into your heart when you asked the Lord Jesus to come in.”

I’m already afraid I’ll fail at loving and being kind and unselfish. And I am afraid of letting go of pleasing myself. Giving this to Jesus.

Treasures of the Snow, Patricia M. St. John, pages 176-178, 189.

370 – Crusade Experiences

August 23, 1989 San Francisco

Sense a cleansing and a new beginning. In my mind’s eye I see everything in me and in my life as pure white as snow. Step by Step with my High Priest, My Intercessor, will I walk today, leaving behind the OLD, wrapped up in the new life and encouraged, hopeful, pressing on, filled with the Holy Ghost.

I fully relinquish a critical spirit as part of my personality. It is no longer! If it should come near I will by faith rebuke it—as with all lusts of the eye and flesh. I will be content with what I have knowing My God IS IN control. I will receive WISDOM as I cry out for it today regarding ways of honoring my husband and loving and dealing with our children. I expect God’s provision in all areas. Amen and Hallelujah!

August 25

Mario Murillo Crusade on Wed night, Dan received an infilling of the Spirit as powerful as the first laying on of hands in Reno. He received

Do not grow weary … you will reap! Galatians 6:9

Danny Herd, who was in charge of equipment and organization, said thanks to Dan—that he wished he had ten men like Dan.

The pastor of the church was extremely grateful for Dan and the boys cleaning up each evening before the crusade.

When Dan passed out posters of the Cow Palace Crusade in Hunters Point District, he said he was well received.

Timmy and Markie went forward for the baptism of the Holy Spirit!! Markie said he almost got pushed down by the Spirit, he was swaying back and forth, but didn’t want to fall.

Tim and Markie were prayed for by Caleb Quaye and Tim also was prayed for by Pastor Stewart and Mario Murillo’s wife. Praise God. His jaw is still in place. We will see what the Lord will do.

The Holy Spirit came on me in intercession and in love.

357 Undivided Heart to Honor You

357 – Undivided Heart

to Honor You

August 3, 1989 San Francisco

Psalm 86

verse 1 hear me

v 2 save me

v 3 be merciful

v 4 bring joy to me

Psalm 4:7 You have filled my heart with greater joy –

this means You put joy in me

v 11 teach me Your way

v 11 GIVE ME AN UNDIVIDED HEART that I may fear your name.

reference: Ezekiel 11:19 I will give them an UNDIVIDED HEART and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.

20 Then they will follow My decrees and be careful to keep my laws. They will be my people and I will be their God.

18 remove vile images and detestable gods

reference: 1 Chronicles 12:33 the men of Zebulun experienced soldiers prepared for battle with every type of weapon, to help David—with UNDIVIDED LOYALTY.

reference: 1 Corinthians 7:34-35 But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in UNDIVIDED DEVOTION to the Lord.

Lord, remove pregnancy or every attitude about it that makes it a god in competition for my affections for You.

Lord, don’t take away my husband and children so I can be undivided in devotion to You, but bring us all into a place of unity of purpose—to please You in all things, and fulfill all of Your call for us.

356 – Into My Mind Popped…

356 Into My Mind Popped…

August 2, 1989 San Francisco

I woke up feeling unusual. Am I pregnant? Doubt pushed the thoughts away. I asked God to speak to me today about it—silently, in my heart. A very short time later, on my walk around Bridgemont campus, worshiping, fellowshipping with God, I asked God again to speak to me on this subject. Into my mind popped 1 Thessalonians 2:7 and 1 Thessalonians 5:1!

This is what they say:

1 Thessalonians 2:7 but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children.

1 Thessalonians 5:1-3 Now brothers about times and dates we do not need to write you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.

August 3

Depressed—not pregnant. Why do I want to be?

pure: my heart has been changed by God so that it is now the desire of my heart

truth: yet, hope deferred makes the heart grow sick

flesh: I would be able to justify sleeping more

pride: it would show me and others God’s favor on us

practical: I feel it would be good for the boys to have to become more helpful, independent in the kitchen, and good for Daniel not to be the baby.

I am always surprising myself that I am so real with God and myself.

355 – The Way of Escape

355 The Way of Escape

July 28, 1989 San Francisco

Poured out my heart to the Lord. I know He knows, but He says in psalms to cry out!

*2 months behind in rent

*Dan’s office, which was switched two months ago, is now needed to be used as a rental, so we are not sure what we will do.

*friend suggested we begin Japanese language study

*desire in our heart is to move to the Sunset District of SF

*our prayer letters are folded, not addressed or notes added

*home school materials are needed for fall

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man, and God is faithful and will provide the way of escape that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

*Gramma and Auntie Yvonne will arrive Saturday and fly out Sunday

*Need nursery coordinator to take my place

*Life Center is in debt, appealing strongly for money

I opened my Bible to search out the Way of Escape:

Nehemiah 12:24 praise and give thanksgiving

27 celebrate joyfully , with songs of thanks

giving and music

31 give thanks

40 give thanks

43 rejoicing because God had given them great joy; the women and children rejoiced. The sound of rejoicing in Jerusalem could be heard far away.

Praise and thanksgiving is God’s way, all the time for all things.

353 Encouragement from the Holy Spirit

353 – Encouragement from the Holy Spirit

July 17, 1989 San Francisco

Dan and I were always wondering, what’s next? Are we being effective here, is this Your will, or are we to move on?

We were attending the SF Foursquare Church and also Sunday morning Japanese Sunday School. I wrote in my journal that I heard God say during the Japanese teaching: I can earthquake you out of this place and into My will. Our part is to seek Him, cry out, praise, and REST. He will get us where we need to be. This was prophetic, because we—and everybody else—were surprised by a 6.9 earthquake three months later. And we moved!

In the grocery store, observing the throng, I realized: the devil knows whose are his own. He can put thoughts in their hearts to do evil things or think evil things.

We are wise, cautions, praying, watching, avoiding.

I have found GRACE meeting me more and more—to be peaceful, to be wise, to receive from the Lord, to be quiet.

July 19

Helen prayed powerfully for us at church tonight. This is what I remember: The time is ticking away; we need to be involved with Japanese people. We can, better than born-again Japanese Christians, reach certain people for Christ. She prayed that lies and weaknesses and insecurities would be bound and that we would go forth into the relationships the Lord has for us with Japanese people.

Mary exhorted us that only arrogance and pride will refuse to accept Christ’s death as atonement for ANY sin. She gave us Exodus 14The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. Look up!

Deborah encouraged me that the Lord would provide a Japanese housewife to speak for me, that God’s language is agape (love). Agape would be my language and to not worry about it. Dan will learn it and the boys will catch it, and I am not to worry

352 – Comfortable Routines

April 18 1989 San Francisco

I looked around at our very little living room approvingly after breakfast this morning. We like it here, at Bridgemont, in this little apartment. It’s comfortable, we have routines. I’m walking every day, Dan can do his drafting in the room down the hall. The boys can run down to the Red Room and play and not bother anyone, the pool is always available, though a bit of a hike. Neighbors come and go, meaning they move in and move out fairly often, but there’s a good feeling among us and camaraderie happens easily when new tenants arrive.

Again, we began seriously to call on Jesus for success in our attitude and perseverance about home school. As a result, the kids are more cooperative and less complaining, and I am more organized and patient, and more confident that they are really learning something.

But my hope, my fulfillment, my satisfaction, are in Christ my Lord. For me to live successfully, peacefully, fulfilled, is all Christ. If I slide in my persistent seeking of Him and skip my Bible reading, my focus shifts and I’m in agitation and insecurities.

My journal notes are Bible verses and notes, enough to keep me going, but nothing stunning to write here about. I was re-reading Hannah Whitall Smith’s book, The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life. We had many good friends from church and we were very busy with home group, potlucks, following Giants and A’s baseball games with Bill.

We went to Reno for the wedding of one of Dan’s friends. We had overnight guests.

There is no diary of other family activities until July 6.

July 6

Last night after church the car would not start. Deborah and Cathy walked home from church and we took the bus. A bit of adventure doing it at night! We arrived home at 10:40pm. The boys were not able to attend a friend’s overnight backyard campout. They were very good sports about it.