314 – Determined to be Faith-Filled

314 – Determined to be Faith-Filled

August 23, 1988

We went to the library. We did our school work. Friends came over to pray. Pastor George Davis met with Dan.

Numbers 13 There were giants in the land. And those who were afraid and grumbled could not enter the land. Only Joshua and Caleb had the faith. My God does not like or bless unbelief.

Numbers 14 Moses intercedes: “Lord, everyone knows that YOU have been leading and guiding these people—if you let them die—and do not bring them into the land You have promised them, everyone will know. Display Your strength. Display Your mercy and forgiveness.”

I identified with everything I was reading daily:

That we were being obedient in going out. That we were therefore going to be safe and protected and blessed. That we would have provision because God was going to take care of us. That God would display His strength, His mercy, and His forgiveness. That we would not die but live! I needed all of this encouragement.

304 – The Exodus

304 – The Exodus

July 23-25, 1988

By day the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night. Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people. Exodus 13:21-22

Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:13

These scriptures in my daily reading, just on the day when I need them, embolden me and invigorate my faith. We will be like the Israelites who had God’s loving support with a pillar of cloud and pillar of fire to guide them. I believe He will guide us that carefully. AND we are not to be afraid in this faith journey, but to stay in FAITH in God and trust Him to take care of us!

We believe we are headed for California, but are contemplating visiting relatives who live in this part of the country before we head west. And a woman who works in a Japanese church is very interested in us joining her church to work in evangelizing the Japanese somewhere in Pennsylvania.

Dan is very interested in stopping along the way to preach the gospel in parks and on street corners.

I am resisting this. It seems like a distraction.

He suggested we go to church and be open as we worship God. The Lord touched me. He showed me Our God Reigns and that He considers the feet that take the gospel are beautiful. He brought to my mind the Jesus freak hippies on the beach in Hawaii. I count their reaching out to me as very significant in my coming to the Lord two months later!

Exodus means: a going out; a departure or emigration, usually of a large number of people. Six is a pretty large amount.

297 – Timmy Stayed Bonded

297 – Timmy Stayed Bonded

July 6, 1988

Yesterday Dan asked Timmy if he would like to move, even though he could not go to school at Livonia Primary. Tim said a hearty “yes!”

A few days ago when Dan had asked the same question, Tim had said “no.”

The McNeals have been staying with us, in between the first question and this one, and I believe that their visit has been a GODSEND. Tim and Clancey (age 10) have spent a lot of time together, and Clancey really liked itinerating and being on the road. Thanks, Clancey!!

When we leave here, we will be uprooted, and Timmy would be back in homeschool.

July 7

Steve’s 8th birthday. We decorated with crepe paper and balloons, Dan made a super birthday poster, and we had his friends over for cake and ice cream.

Eva Leissups told a story about two sisters who wanted to go to China but God sent them to the Chinese in New York City to learn the culture and the language. I don’t know if they ever left the US. [This proved to be directive and prophetic for us.]

Genesis 22 Was our sending Timmy to public school for one year (because our authority expected it) like Abraham laying Isaac on the altar? Was it a test from God to test our faith in Him, and to prove our commitment to Him? v 11 “Now I (angel of the Lord) know that you fear God because you have not withheld from Me your son.” Lord, I feel encouraged that I passed a test, and that Dan did too, and that You covered Tim.

I also felt relieved that our bond with Tim had survived the 9 month school year separation. Oh, how I fretted about that.

The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

296 – More Baby Speculations

296 – More Baby Thinking

July 1, 1988

My mom had a dream that I arrived at their house HUGE. She said it looked like I had three big balloons in my tummy. In the dream I said, “Oh these are our three little girls. We are having triplets!” She said, “But Dan had a vasectomy, and we don’t have room in our house for seven children!”

She said I was VERY happy in the dream.

Paulette believes that the triplet dream means a three-fold ministry with children—that it is spiritual not physical. I believe it is physical because mom said, “We don’t have room for seven.” I BELIEVE THAT IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH US HAVING MORE CHILDREN.

July 4

There was a pillar of cloud in the sky this morning, and I felt like the Spirit was saying: “Don’t doubt God’s power.”

July 5

Abraham was 86 years old when Ishmael was born. When Abraham was 99 years old , God appeared to him.

Something in me resists a pregnancy. I feel it would be embarrassing because of my promiscuous lifestyle in the past and that it would cause people to question my integrity because Dan has had a vasectomy. I lay it down.

Not my will but Thine be done. Luke 22:42b

The note in my NIV Bible on Genesis 15:17 says that God ministered to Abraham’s need for assurance.

LORD, WOULD YOU MINISTER TO MY NEED FOR ASSURANCE?

Maybe this is Him ministering to me…Lord are you saying:

Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘will I really have a child now that I am old?’ Is anything too hard for the Lord?…. Genesis 18:13

This is so outlandish and speculative, and yet I feel an excitement about bearing more children—and no fear. Lord, when I have heard from You (like when the sheriff brought the subpoena and You spoke to me) I have peace and not fear. 

308 – Carrying a Vision – part 1

308 – Carrying a Vision – part 1

Without a vision the people perish. Proverbs 29:18

This verse is only quoted in this way in the King James Version. This is how I learned the verse 43 years ago and it has been a bedrock of my faith.

Bedrock (dictionary.com) = the fundamental principles on which something is based.

[to read 25 versions of this verse, or any other verse, google: Proverbs 29:18 Bible Hub.]

Here are a few of the definitions of vision on google.

1- having a vivid mental image &&

2- relating to a dream or a trance, a supernatural experience ^^

3- the act or power of anticipating what will come or may come to be++

4- the ability to think about and plan for the future using intelligence and imagination **

5- someone’s idea or hope of how something should be done or how it will be in the future. **

 

&& Google dictionary

^^  Google dictionary

++ dictionary.com

**online Macmillan Dictionary

To me, ‘without a vision the people perish’, means that my faith stays alive, it thrives, when I am pursuing the Lord with an idea in my mind which I believe is from Him. Having a vision brings purpose to my days because rather than be confined to merely the tasks at hand in the multitudinous days of bleak and boring daily life, I have a mysterious side issue.

When we became engaged, Dan and I agreed to give our family planning to God. It was #4 type of vision. We sat on my back porch steps and thought and planned for the future, and we agreed that since I was already in my early thirties and since we had no goal but to serve God, we thought it wise to put this important topic in His hands and trust Him. By the time we celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary we had a 1 month old newborn, and our other sons had just turned 2,4, and 5.

When we became engaged in May, I had already been accepted to begin Bible School in September in England. Rather than cancel, Dan decided to join up with my vision to study for more in depth Bible knowledge . We followed the vision through the weeks of our engagement and actively pursued our goal of Dan getting accepted at the school also. We were re-routed to their school in Germany and the registrar requested his paperwork and a payment as soon as possible. We spent five months of the first half year of our marriage in a foreign country in an English-speaking Bible School. This again was #4

In Bible School in Germany we caught school’s vision to go out into all the world to share the gospel. As a new Christian I had been interested in going to Africa. But since Dan had recently been to Japan he was very interested in taking his new faith to the Japanese people. We prayed, put out a fleece, and received the vision to visit several missionaries in Japan. The Lord provided the funds and Dan took time off work. Our son Tim turned one year old in ___ and I was pregnant with our son Steve. We spent 6 weeks in Japan.

To be continued… 

294 – Fasting for Answers–Got No Answers

294 – Fasting for Answers– Got No Answers

 

May, 1988

On Day 14 we ended the fast. I journaled our daily experience. We kept our life going normally, except I took shorter, slower walks. Our energy level roller coastered, so on day 8 we began taking one teaspoon of Barley Green in water. It took care of my leg cramps and I experienced increased stamina.

I noted on Day 11:  Very tired. Slept 9:15pm until 5:30am. No walk, prayed with Dan instead. Possibly will go on diluted juice 3x a day. Dan is. I will pray. At noon, diluted apple juice gave me strength for another busy day. We had Tim’s birthday party. I had no more weakness after the juice. My face looks thin and sort of old and haggard in the mirror. Dan almost blacked out in the afternoon. It scared him. His job at Southco is very strenuous and demanding. If he stops his fast, I will. It has been wonderful doing this together.

Dan recalls: Like a lot of fasts the fruit of that time of close communion with God was not quantifiable. It was a time to seek God without distraction. We had an extraordinarily open-line to God while we were in the fast and for some time after. We did not get a download of the blueprint of what to do next. We ended it with as many questions as we had when we began it, and we had done it in order to answer those questions. But I think it answered questions we didn’t ask. God assured us of His favor, and His partnership, and His covering. We do not go alone. Faith is substance. Jesus is alive, and making Him known is paramount. I had no qualms about ending it before the target of 21 days, no condemnation, no failure, no incomplete. We did what we did, and it was a great experience. I remember we ended it because I was looking at a piece of land with a client who wanted some plans drawn, and I had squatted down to look at something. When I stood up, I went blind for about 5 seconds, no vision. I figured I was pushing it far enough.

During those two weeks I increased my babysitting days (at Jodie’s request), Dan’s Aunt Yvonne came on Amtrak for a five day visit, I taught Sunday School, Dan began his Vacation Bible School project of building Noah’s ark, we had people over for dinner twice, I took the kids on a homeschool field trip to the science museum in Rochester–getting back in time to babysit the after-school bunch. I made friends with the local ‘notorious’ devil worshiper’s mom in the Laundromat. [The teen died last week in a tragic accident.] We had friendly fellowship and with my other Laundromat friend, Barbara, we agreed to meet next week.

Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15

293 – No Waffles Today

293 – No Waffles Today

April 24, 1988

I felt like I heard the word ‘fast’ as I was coming down the stairs to breakfast. I tried hurriedly to eat a waffle. Every bite got ‘stuck’ in my throat, and then it was hard to swallow! I gave in and hurried upstairs to lay on the bed to rest and to listen.

I spoke to Dan, sensing that I felt the Lord was saying to do an extended fasting and prayer season in order to hear what He had to say about the next few years in our preparation to go to Japan.  A friend had given me a book, Your Appointment With God, by Gwen Shaw. I began reading it and began to have a great desire to fast and to get closer to My Father, to be able to love the unlovely, and to be set free of the bands of wickedness, to be free of the burdensome yoke on me. I was not experiencing any anxiety about fasting, which was further confirmation that this was of the Spirit and not of the flesh.

Dan was VERY interested.

I wanted to stay home from church and continue reading the book and pray. But instead I asked God to speak more to me at church.

We were now attending a church in our village, Livonia Community, that was up the street and that we walked to on non-icy Sundays.

Pastor Davis spoke on spiritual warfare and took us to Daniel 10:11-12. Of course, the idea of a Daniel fast came to my mind which confirmed my desire to fast 21 days. Praise God.

Dan was in full agreement and we prayed. I whizzed up some vegetables and we had some soup and this became the first day of our fast.

Is this not the fast that I have chosen: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, to let the oppressed go free, and that you break every yoke? Is it no to share your bread with the hungry, and that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out…. Isaiah 58:6-7a

Then your light shall break forth like the morning, your healing shall spring forth speedily, and your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. Then shall you call, and the Lord will answer; You shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am.’ Isaiah 58: 8-9

That was what we wanted: every yoke broken…and ANSWERS to our cries.

289 -I Will Live for Your Approval

289 – I Will Live for Your Approval

January 18, 1988

There is a sensation of Your presence as I move in praise and joy.

The victory for this wonderful day was purchased by my Savior’s blood 2000 years ago. I praise and thank You, Jesus, for a day full of JOY in spite of often-adverse circumstances and other people’s often adverse attitudes.

Today is the birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr. Tim was home from school. Mark was sick. Late afternoon I was able to get them to Elim to the nurse. They both have strep.

The JOY lifted me, caressed me, filled me, encouraged me, strengthened me.  JOY joyJOY joyjoy

Dan is getting tracts from R. Libby. He has led 400 people to the Lord at Kodak (where Wayne works). His wife is an intercessor. Jesus is the power.

I keep thinking of another baby.

joy joyjoyjoy  joy joy   joy joy  joy JOY joy joyJOY JOY

I believe You, Jesus, for more of it ….. joy joyjoyjoy

January 20

John 12:  27-19 When the Father spoke from heaven to Jesus, some heard thunder, some confessed an angel had spoken.

Let me hear the words You speak, Father.

            42-43 Some did not confess Him because they loved the approval and praise of men rather than the approval of God.

Let me be one who confesses You before men, my Lord, and wins Your approval.

285 – Jesus is the Only Way to God

285 – Jesus is the

Only Way to God

December 22, 1987

Mom called. She said Uncle Phil was depressed by Connie’s and my notes to him. [Connie were both very concerned that he was near death and did not know Jesus.] Mom said that he is a very religious man and to challenge his faith was not right. “We all have our own beliefs and we are all sure we’re going to heaven.”

She said she and daddy were offended by all the times I say, God loves you. “We know God loves us!”

Well, I was greatly under attack, wavering, and was greatly shaken. I prayed and cried a little. Then the mail came. Eric and Susie had sent $100.

“We were at the Pastor’s Conference and an offering was taken for a missionary’s work in Japan. Eric said he wanted to give their offering TO US for OUR work in Japan!”

What a vote of confidence from our good friends! What a statement from the Lord! I was so BLESSED! I AM on target. JESUS IS THE WAY! JESUS IS THE ONLY WAY! I WILL NOT BE SHAKEN!! We also received $153 from our Reno church friends, and $20 from Eva. 

I was up at 2am and could not go back to sleep. Worried. Prayed. I feel their denying Christ as the ‘only way’ will come to a head for them. I pray Phil understands he needs to surrender his life to Jesus.

Aunt Ginger and Uncle Phil wrote a nice letter in which they told me they will not convert from their own beliefs.

Now Phil is in the hospital with a foot nearing amputation, the circulation is so bad. Will all of this come to a head? Only God knows.

Jesus said to him, “I am the , the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” John 14:6

284 – Two Dreams and a Prayer

284 – Two Dreams

and a Prayer

December 13, 1987

Very vivid dream of four newborns, all dressed in blue, brown-skinned, sleeping on funny shelves.

I nursed two of them.

I remember one had smooth straight hair, one very curly hair.

I felt they were MINE and I was VERY happy about it.

December 14, 1987

Dreamed of a newborn.

Wonderful positive feelings associated.

LORD, IS THIS YOU? Are You speaking to me about a plan You have for us to have more children? 

 

These dreams were the beginning of me getting excited about ‘following a vision.’ The dreams were so real and impactful to me. The feelings that came with them were so positive. I was surprised my heart was so open to having more children in my life. I sought the Lord seriously to see if He would reveal a plan of His that He wanted me to discover.