209 ~ I Was Afraid is No Excuse!

209 – I Was Afraid is No Excuse!

September 20, 1986

Matthew 25 contains the parable of the talents:

The servant says: Lord, I knew you to be a hard man…and I was afraid, and went and hid your talent…. 24-25

For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have in abundance…. 29

I see this means that God has given each of us talents to use for His purposes and His glory, but fear and self-consciousness, mixed in with laziness and distractibility wreak havoc on good His plans.

Oswald Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest, p 111, says: Never say, I can’t. Never let limitation or natural ability come in. If we have received the Holy Spirit, God expects the work of the Holy Spirit to be manifested in us!

My prayer:

Holy Spirit, Your conviction is so penetrating. I am undone, humbled. There is no argument, no self-justification of inability which can stand against You and Your call.

You have been raising my self-esteem (actually my identity of who I am in Christ) so that I could receive this word today. You have been working Your word and Your presence into me, so that my self-esteem is tied with you and who YOU ARE and not who I am.

Impart, I ask in Jesus’ name, the WISDOM I need, the LOVE I need, the PEACE I need.


I rebuke FEAR in Jesus’ name.

I am seeing that most of the fear is an excuse from my lazy nature—if I cover myself with fear, surely He’ll see and not ask any more of me because I am already so overloaded! Deceitful heart—be quiet!!

198 – Really Praying!

198 – Really Praying!

July 9, 1986

Since I have been REALLY praying about homeschooling—GOD PLEASE MAKE THIS WORK OR ELSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO—it is going VERY well. I mean, VERY VERY well!

Also, I have been praising Him more and more for what He HAS done already in the past and HAS done already in the future that I get to step into.

My countenance is changing into a more joyful and positive one. Also, I have been a better disciplinarian of the boys. More aware of what to do and not so double minded.

July 12

From the basement Dan brought up a huge old piece of furniture that we are putting all of the homeschool books on. Perfect!

July 13

Yesterday I faced that I really love to sleep, confessed my self-centeredness, and asked God from there, from square one, to give me His motivation to pray early. HE DID!

Honesty with the Lord is the best policy. I need to just talk to Him. Just be real. Tell him the truth all the time: this is what’s going on in me, Lord! It seems to me that the Holy Spirit is the One who helps me be honest and not act like there is nothing going on.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9

The Holy Spirit knows it

My Lord knows my heart. As I lean into Him talk to Him about everything, then trust Him fully–and pray hard–He will always be my strength and my song!

“Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid; for the LORD GOD is my strength and song, And He has become my salvation.” Isaiah 12:2

196 -Beware!

196 –  Beware!


June 27, 1986

You, therefore, beloved, since you know this beforehand, BEWARE lest you also fall from your own steadfastness, being led away with the error of the wicked, but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 3:17

For this past month I have been reading my Bible but not writing in my journal. I have been walking in our neighborhood almost daily and praying.

I have been reading in 2 Peter and the insights about being aware of wicked men SEEM to be about a person we met here—the FIRST person we met here.  He is a retired school teacher. He has been over often, giving gifts, being too friendly. Yesterday morning I had a good talk with God on my walk and asked for information about child molesters and JUST HAPPENED later that day to make my first visit to the Livonia library. And there on the front desk was a pamphlet: Protect Your Children.

After lunch I set Timmy, Stevie, Mark down for school and we had health.

I was quite frank and open and used this man as an example of someone we do not know well who might be crude or nasty and for them to be careful. Tim, 7, and Steve, 6, understood, but I am not sure about how well Markie, age 4, understood.

Mr. XX was here 1 ½ hours in the morning and two or three hours in the afternoon. 

I believe this is the man You were warning me about last month. I will be on the alert.

I have asked God to render this man powerless over me and Dan and the boys. I felt I was to start talking about God to him. Then we went to a Camp Meeting last night at Elim and the message was on “let the redeemed of the Lord say so!” We are to speak about our redemption. Our WORDS are life and valuable.

Praise God for the precious work of the Holy Spirit.

By the way the boys have responded well to our discussion. I feel we all feel closer to each other. You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free!

I had read Exodus 1 this morning and it told how God BLESSED the midwives for obeying and honoring Him and not killing the boy babies. I shared this with the boys –that to honor God brings us blessings even if someone else tells us to do the wrong thing.

We were vigilant. God was faithful. I thank Him today for the warning. The man was our neighbor. He brought huge pumpkins for the boys which was OK, and wanted to take them for rides on his tractor. NO.

194 – Lace Curtains and a Word from the Lord

194 – Lace Curtains and a Word from the Lord

June 23, 1986

On Day 15, Dan and I were up at 5:30am to pray together for God’s order, as we do daily, His direction, and His life in us. We also prayed for our first impressions of  Livonia, where we would make our home for the next season of our lives. We prayed about our first impressions of the house and the people—and their first impressions of us. We prayed that the unpacking would go smoothly, and asked again that the power would not be too expensive. Also that Paul Ripley, our mover man, would have a ‘supernatural experience’ to relate to us about his journey—and that he would be saved and become a Christian. We prayed that our Life Center church friends would walk in what the Lord taught them yesterday at church.

One of our favorite family stories of God’s wondrous works is that when we arrived at our awesome 100-year old two story house in Livonia ($385 month), Paul Ripley had JUST pulled his trailer loaded with our household goods into the driveway thirty minutes before. There were no cell phones then. God coordinated it.

Another God-thing — all of the downstairs windows in the Victorian house were framed in lovely old oak. And hanging in each one were beautiful lace curtains. Unbeknownst to anyone, having lace curtains in the house was a special request I had asked of God. I was stunned to behold them! I felt like He was saying to me:

“YES!! It’s Me! I’m here! I got you here. I want you to remember that– as times get tough and as you come upon things you do not understand.”

183- His Promises

183- His Promises

March 24, 1986

Streams in the Desert: (paraphrased)

Quote God’s promise back to Him…“YOU SAID…”

He cannot say no. He must do as He has said. 

Make your requests with definite earnestness if you would have definite answers.

Accept God at His Word. Believe that He really means EXACTLY what He says.

Pastor Dave’s sermons have been on a similar theme.

My experience has not taken me here yet.  But I am on the threshold.

My experience is: praying in the Spirit on my entire ½ hour walk. And during my day keeping on praying in the Spirit, and NEW LIFE is coming.

Father, it is very sad that I did not obey You one year ago when through Gloria Copeland You told me to pray in the Spirit one hour at the beginning of each day .

Also today I prayed more earnestly than I usually do. I felt a new thrust to do this 2 or 3 days ago. To let go of the self prayers, the woe is me’s, the list of needs. And just to put Your Spirit in the driver’s seat.

182- Keep the Spirit in Control

182- Keep the Spirit in Control

April 13, 1986

Revelation: I must be fully in the Spirit in my relationship with my children, my circumstances, my body.

My wisdom teeth pulling experience last week was an outrageously beautiful experience and picture of the Spirit being in control.

My body was being torturously dealt with! I can see the grotesque faces of the nurse and the doctor frantically trying to get those teeth out. My cheek felt like it was tearing at one point and the drilling noises were screeching and high-pitched and deafening.


I was several times reassuring the doctor and the nurse that I was fine. They were apologetic for putting me through so much but I was able to comfort them!

Now two days later, weakened from not eating because of the discomfort in my mouth, the boys are rowdy, my temper is short, there was an early morning phone call…I was going to have to answer the phone…

….but to the Lord I went as my Refuge. How can I reign in this situation with Christ Jesus? I felt He said, “Take dominion over the boys and don’t let the dirty dishes take dominion over you. You are in control. My Spirit will fill you and lead you. Be confident.”

181- Preparation for Elim

181-Preparation for Elim

February 9, 1986 

Lord, this is what we are counting on YOU to breakthrough—these are the obstacles we see and right now we can’t see past them:

*finances: Tim’s emergency room bill, IRS due, VW bus debt, Dan’s truck engine debt, mine and Dan’s dental work, moving expenses for furniture, gas, motels, campsites, food.

*relocation expenses: rent, phone & power hookups;

*school fees: tuition $3,500; Dan’s uniforms (blazer with emblem); application fee, books

*living expenses for one year: $22,000 or more, You know, God.

We believe that You will handle all of this, that nothing is too difficult for You.

178- Have Courage, Not Fear!

178- Have Courage, Not Fear!

December 11, 1985

Mark 5:9 We may ask a demon his name.

           5:19 We are to report to our families and friends the great things the Lord has done for us.

           5:28 We are to BELIEVE. Believing does make something happen. God listens. God works on our believing! Believing cam make us well. Believing in Jesus Christ, His power, His desire to touch us, His love for us.

            5:36 He wants us to believe and not fear…DO NOT BE AFRAID ANY LONGER, ONLY BELIEVE (AND KEEP ON BELIEVING)

December 12

Mark 6:6 Jesus cannot work with unbelief. Be careful when with your own people. They will say, “it’s only George* and Grace’s* girl, the teacher.”

            6:7 Jesus wants us to use authority over unclean spirits.

            6:8 When we go, we take VERY LITTLE.

            6:12 He sent people out in twos to preach repentance, heal sick, cast out.

            6:20 John the Baptist preached, to His own death, but lifting up Jesus.

            6:31-32 Jesus wants us to rest a while and get away from      ministry for a time.

           6:50 Take courage; it is I, do not be afraid.

            I am in your circumstances, Georgann.

                                   Do not be afraid.


December 16

Mark 7:15 What I SAY defiles me, and what I DO.

            7:20-23 Those rotten things come out of my heart—evil thoughts and evil deeds and evil words come right out of my heart.

I will go to prayer to ask for a CLEAN heart, pure heart, consciousness of Christ.

Also, the Pastoral meeting is tonight. I must be given over to my Lord.

*My parents are George and Grayce. I was a school teacher.

176- Mark says…

176- Mark says…

December 9, 1985 – 4:30am

Quote from Tolstoy’s story of ‘The Cobbler’s Visitor’–

“Your despair comes because you wish to live for your own happiness. Read the gospels: there you will see how God would have you live.”

So, I am reading the gospel of Mark.

1:8 He wants me to be baptized with the Holy Spirit

1:9 He believes in water baptism

1:15 He wants me to repent (turn from not believing) and believe (put my trust in) the gospel

1:17 He wants me to be a fisher of men. He will make me one if I come with Him.

1:2 He wants me to take authority over unclean spirits (“do the works that I do”)

1:35 He went early to a lonely place to pray. I am to go early and alone to pray.

2:5,6 Jesus wants faith from me, not Pharisaical reasoning.

I put my trust in You for time to work on Timmy’s reading, the chores, the needed Christmas gifts—my reason tells me it is too much, but I put my trust in You.

2:17 Jesus went to the sick, those who knew they needed Him.

I am trying to minister to people who do not need me. Saw this last week. Send me to a sick person, Lord.

Father, it just occurred to me that at church I do not feel valued. I am not asked to participate. I am not called to pray nor is my opinion asked, by my fellows in leadership. It is as if I am of no value to them and that they do not respect me or my spirituality. They are ‘significant others’ to me, consequently I am hurt deeply. I put this at Your feet. Help it not to matter, or change me, please.

How can I learn from this? How can I help my sons and my husband to feel valued. This I lay at Your feet also.

173- Early Morning Surrender

173- Early Morning Surrender

December 3, 1985

I am just finishing a cold. Had a wonderful night’s sleep. I had prayed last night at bedtime to be alert and inspired to seek God in the morning! It’s 5am – PRAISE GOD! And on top of that, Dan prayed for me before we began our devotions.

Father, just as Your SUFFICIENT grace is available to completely support me in the midst of a crisis or a tragedy, SO NOW IN THE SAME MANNER WHEN I AM FEELING CAST DOWN, I say—I have no interest in dwelling on the negatives, the hardships of my life. I turn to You. Lift me above the illusion of ugliness to the reality of soaring with You. You are in control, I accept the circumstances. I have prayed about them and put them fully in Your capable, almighty hands. I give you my ATTITUDES. I do not want the heaviness and grief of my negative flesh, old nature, to encompass me. NO, I desire Christ Himself to be LIFE in me and through me to all I touch. I do not withhold the love of Jesus from my family—I open myself completely to Your surging, throbbing LOVE, Your strengthening JOY, Your incomprehensible PEACE, Your steadfast FAITH and FAITHFULNESS, Your unending KINDNESS, Your CONTROLLING of myself. BE YOURSELF THROUGH ME. MAKE ME A BLESSING as You promised Abraham. For Your glory, for my joy and fulfillment and purpose.

Isaiah 8:17a And I will wait on the Lord…and I will hope in Him.

Hebrews 2:13 and Isa 8:18 Here am I and the children whom the Lord has given me! We are for signs and wonders in Israel from the Lord of hosts…