289 -I Will Live for Your Approval

289 – I Will Live for Your Approval

January 18, 1988

There is a sensation of Your presence as I move in praise and joy.

The victory for this wonderful day was purchased by my Savior’s blood 2000 years ago. I praise and thank You, Jesus, for a day full of JOY in spite of often-adverse circumstances and other people’s often adverse attitudes.

Today is the birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr. Tim was home from school. Mark was sick. Late afternoon I was able to get them to Elim to the nurse. They both have strep.

The JOY lifted me, caressed me, filled me, encouraged me, strengthened me.  JOY joyJOY joyjoy

Dan is getting tracts from R. Libby. He has led 400 people to the Lord at Kodak (where Wayne works). His wife is an intercessor. Jesus is the power.

I keep thinking of another baby.

joy joyjoyjoy  joy joy   joy joy  joy JOY joy joyJOY JOY

I believe You, Jesus, for more of it ….. joy joyjoyjoy

January 20

John 12:  27-19 When the Father spoke from heaven to Jesus, some heard thunder, some confessed an angel had spoken.

Let me hear the words You speak, Father.

            42-43 Some did not confess Him because they loved the approval and praise of men rather than the approval of God.

Let me be one who confesses You before men, my Lord, and wins Your approval.

285 – Jesus is the Only Way to God

285 – Jesus is the

Only Way to God

December 22, 1987

Mom called. She said Uncle Phil was depressed by Connie’s and my notes to him. [Connie were both very concerned that he was near death and did not know Jesus.] Mom said that he is a very religious man and to challenge his faith was not right. “We all have our own beliefs and we are all sure we’re going to heaven.”

She said she and daddy were offended by all the times I say, God loves you. “We know God loves us!”

Well, I was greatly under attack, wavering, and was greatly shaken. I prayed and cried a little. Then the mail came. Eric and Susie had sent $100.

“We were at the Pastor’s Conference and an offering was taken for a missionary’s work in Japan. Eric said he wanted to give their offering TO US for OUR work in Japan!”

What a vote of confidence from our good friends! What a statement from the Lord! I was so BLESSED! I AM on target. JESUS IS THE WAY! JESUS IS THE ONLY WAY! I WILL NOT BE SHAKEN!! We also received $153 from our Reno church friends, and $20 from Eva. 

I was up at 2am and could not go back to sleep. Worried. Prayed. I feel their denying Christ as the ‘only way’ will come to a head for them. I pray Phil understands he needs to surrender his life to Jesus.

Aunt Ginger and Uncle Phil wrote a nice letter in which they told me they will not convert from their own beliefs.

Now Phil is in the hospital with a foot nearing amputation, the circulation is so bad. Will all of this come to a head? Only God knows.

Jesus said to him, “I am the , the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” John 14:6

284 – Two Dreams and a Prayer

284 – Two Dreams

and a Prayer

December 13, 1987

Very vivid dream of four newborns, all dressed in blue, brown-skinned, sleeping on funny shelves.

I nursed two of them.

I remember one had smooth straight hair, one very curly hair.

I felt they were MINE and I was VERY happy about it.

December 14, 1987

Dreamed of a newborn.

Wonderful positive feelings associated.

LORD, IS THIS YOU? Are You speaking to me about a plan You have for us to have more children? 

 

These dreams were the beginning of me getting excited about ‘following a vision.’ The dreams were so real and impactful to me. The feelings that came with them were so positive. I was surprised my heart was so open to having more children in my life. I sought the Lord seriously to see if He would reveal a plan of His that He wanted me to discover. 

282 – God said, I Will Help You

282 – God said,

I Will Help You

December 7, 1987

Father! I’m not organized! They don’t mind me! The clutter is overwhelming me!

How can you help me? 

For my part: I will wake up at 4:30 to pray, read, walk, and plan. Please help me to go to bed early—9 or 9:30—and help me get up!

I closed my eyes and opened my Bible randomly hoping to land on a special word from my Lord– and got the concordance!

I opened it again and got the introduction to Daniel, which I had not read.

It’s about 4 boys!!!

“Their refusal to be seduced by the pagan world in which they live and the dangers that threaten them because of their faithfulness are the essence of the drama. Their deliverances from the fiery furnace and the lion’s den demonstrate the power and love of God….”

I believe by faith God is telling me:

You have a very important task of setting the course of these boys’ lives. The training of Shadrach, Meshach, Abed-Nego, and Daniel was careful, so that they had such INTEGRITY.

Let this inspire you and motivate you to good works daily, even moment-by-moment, with your four sons.

I will help you.

I love those who love Me, and those who seek Me diligently will find Me. Proverbs 8:17

281 – A Death and a Near Death

281– A Death

and a Near Death

Our friend from Reno, a single man, Jim, had come for a weekend visit in August. We had introduced him to Eva, a single lady on staff at the school. They had seemed to ‘click’ and had stayed in touch.

November 29, 1987

Yesterday Pastor Dave called to say that Jim died in Brazil on his mining trip. We are slowly getting over the shock and trying to get in touch with Eva. I sought the Lord and He gave me:

Let not your heart be troubled…. In My Father’s house are many mansions….I go and prepare a place for you. John 14: 2-3

As unsettling as sudden death is, Jim is safe with Jesus and I am not to worry. But grieving is good. We weep with those who weep. This was so jarring and upsetting and we will miss our friend so much. It seemed so wrong. To add to our sorrow, we found out later that there may have been foul play against him.

December 4

Mom called and Dad is in intensive care with a bleeding ulcer. He is in ICU and is so weak that visits must be kept short.

“I want to go home!”

But I cannot. Marsha, Connie, and Aunt Virgi are with Mom. I called Joan, Barb, Donna, Karen, Diane, Eva—to pray! Later Virgi told us the doctor said daddy had lost half of his blood. Praise God for modern medicine and blood transfusions.

Our God is the God of salvation; and to God the Lord belong escapes from death. Psalm 68:20

Why did one dear person die and one dear person live?

I have learned to put questions like this in a Mystery box. God will reveal the answers at some point in this life or in eternal life. I do not have to understand everything. For my sanity, my part is to trust Him without wavering. Every thing will become clear.

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23

279 – God’s Encouragements Abound

 279- God’s Encouragements Abound

October 27, 1987

Yesterday on my walk I had cried out—Lord, I make consistent effort yet my life is so unhappy during these days. I realized I have just been sliding along with the current, day in and day out, being busy, pedaling fast to keep up–but not expending any effort to grab hold of the Lord through gratitude or praise.

I MUST ENCOURAGE MYSELF IN THE LORD!

Today I kept on top of my attitude! IT WAS WONDERFUL!

After Tim went to school, I loaded up the three boys and we went to Steve’s tutoring at Tom and Carley’s. Then to the post office, then directly home so I could type a 15 page paper for Dan.

I kept being kind, loving, helpful, by God’s grace, and kept on top of impatience and kept it OUT of my heart. I kept submitting myself to the Lord.

I finished the paper at 4:40 just in time load all the boys in the car and drive to Elim and pick Dan up. I felt rested and joyful. Then Vivian offered to babysit so I could go back to Elim and go to class (Signs and Wonders) with Dan. Praise God!

When I went to the post office we had received a package from Jan with coloring books, sticker books, science things, and the children’s Pilgrim’s Progress!

We also received a package from my mom with Halloween party good, cute ‘spooky’ cards for the kids, and a letter from her.

Connie called, but I missed the call.

Karen called and said that Paul said that “Breakthrough is coming. School is an unbelievable strain on a man and his family but you’ll make it! and it’s worth it and your Elim experience is invaluable for you.”  Very ENCOURAGING words from the Lord. Thank You, Paul.

Therefore ENCOURAGE one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

But ENCOURAGE one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. Hebrews 3:13

277 – New Faith Territory

277 – New Faith Territory

August 31, 1987

Talked to mom, and she encouraged me to let Timmy go have the experiences that will be offered to him in the public school. She related how difficult it was for her to let us go to school, to college, to leave home!! THAT HELPED!!

And I finally got to talk to Donna’s friend, Diane. She called me four times and finally reached me at 9:30 pm! She pursued!! I was impressed.

She faced this same trauma of letting her children ‘go’ last January. They left the Christian school and went to the public school. She has nothing negative to say about it. She said the principal is a born again Christian! She and her husband have even prayed with him! He only hires teachers with high moral standards. He has strong convictions. PRAISE THE LORD! She even said to pray about Stevie going to school also because the first grade teacher is a Christian man who is excellent with the kids. So we are praying.

God, you are setting me free by loving me, leading me gently. You are explaining, comforting, encouraging me. You are wonderful. WONDERFUL…

So, Timmy was released by Dan and I to go to public school. He loved it every day. Steve stayed home with us and we hired a woman to tutor him in reading, and he excelled. The Lord provided a prayer partner who was an Elim friend, Barb. She and I prayed passionately for our sons almost every day on the phone. They both came through unscathed.

O you of little faith, why did you doubt? Matthew 14:31

I doubted because my Lord was taking me into brand new territory!

(v 32 – sort of) And when Georgann got into the boat AND TRUSTED JESUS, the wind stopped!

God always meets me when I come to Him. I just have to stay connected for the journey of faith.

275 – Jesus Died, I Must Die

275 – Jesus Died, I Must Die

August 26 and 27 1987

Gramma Fern must have sent us a good amount of money. How to spend it was the topic of several of Dan’s and my conversations in my journals and many days of seeking the Lord’s will. We went back to seriously thinking about Christian school for Timmy—at least I did.

This confuses me, Lord, and I need to hear from You. It feels we are getting ‘tossed about’ over this!

Lord, You know the whole issue, but now Dan feels very strongly that Timmy should go to public school. I sort of stormed out of the house and headed out to the country roads. I took an hour and a half brisk walk and confessed all my pride and rebellion, pouring out my heart’s confusion and sadness.

All I could say at the end of praying and praising and seeking You was, “Lord, carry me through this.” I definitely cannot cope.

I was wanting someone to pray with about submission who could be neutral and non-judgmental and give me wisdom. Donna brought a friend she had not seen in years to our Bible study after she ran into her at her son’s soccer game. I almost opened it up, but I didn’t want a big discussion with everyone’s advice and people hearing our problems without Dan there. But this Diane had moved her kids from the Christian School to the public school! I felt in my spirit that she would have encouragement and wisdom to share.

Matthew 27:43 …He trusts in God, let Him deliver Him now if He takes pleasure in Him…

People were saying of Jesus–HA! Let God deliver this man from the cross! I feel this is happening to me—I cannot come down from the cross. There are mockings and insults all around me. I feel I let my children down because they did not do well on the SAT test. I feel foolish and misunderstood by the neighbors AND the homeschoolers.

Then it occurred to me by the Spirit that Jesus did get off the cross. And so will I.

He got off when He died!I will get off —–when I die to this!

When I can really totally say, “Thy will be done.”

And when I do not get emotionally involved in what ANYONE thinks, but only in what YOU think, Lord.

274 – You Did It to Me

274 – You Did It to Me

August 24, 1987

On Saturday I was upset again because the neighbor kids,  Leah and David, wanted to have dinner with us. I said, raking the grass, Lord, if You want me to joyfully feed these neighborhood children, You tell me by the word of God—calculating quickly in my mind that in my devotions I was reading in the end chapters in Matthew and it wouldn’t again say to give cold water, or –I was hungry and you fed Me.

Feeling quite safe with my bargain I soon saw Dan bringing the mower in. I began to speak to him over my dismay at the neighborhood kids hanging around at mealtime. He said, Well Jesus says, “When I was hungry and you fed me……” AWWW! The verbal word!!

They stayed. I repented of my stingy bad attitude.

Tonight, reading my Bible, looking for something else, there it was:

For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat;

I was thirsty, and you gave Me drink;

I was a stranger, and you invited Me in;

I was sick, and you visited Me;

I was in prison, and you came to Me.

To the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me!

Matthew 25:35-36, 37-38

God, You are amazing!

271 – Free Travel, Vending Machines and Law Suits

271 – Free Travel, Vending Machines, and Lawsuits

July 31, 1987

We just got back from two full weeks in Reno. Jan and Jim sold their vacation trailer and took up a collection at church to pay for our family’s plane tickets. WOW! We were humbled. Bob and Janet were on vacation and gave us their house to use! To top it off my parents came to town for a 3-day visit. We saw friends and family; we were loved and gave love.

August 10

We came back to Livonia to the reality of three lawsuits: Dan’s passenger, Brian; the owner of the Hostess Cupcake truck; and Elizabeth the driver of the truck.

I read in Matt 5:40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also.

It was God’s word, and amazing that I ‘just happened’ to read it today.

But it was not very comforting.

August 14

On a family outing we stopped in a gas station along the highway. Inside the bathroom some obscene materials were offered for sale from a vending machine. I felt conscience-bound to call the corporate head of the gas station company for making the materials available.

I wrote out what I was going to say and respectfully told the top-guy my concerns.

Once I cried spontaneously (for the children who have seen this type of machine in a public place). The man I was talking to said, “I understand, believe me!” I followed up with a letter and included the gospel message. I felt so free and relieved afterward.