169- Needs Met!

169- Needs Met!

November 29, 1985

Jesus is MY PERSONAL Savior as well as the PERSONAL Savior of each one in the world.

Therefore I have the RIGHT to come before His throne

-with praises and thanksgiving and sonship

-boldly with confidence

I rebuke any unbelief in my heart, in Jesus’ name.

I have asked You for $126 for the beginning-to-read ACA program. It has not come.

Believing Your provision comes with Your will, I ask for $100 for some books I would like to order for Timmy from Hewitt-Moore.

This way we could cover more subject areas—science, social studies, reading, math, art, phonics.

ANSWERED PRAYER!

December 5, 1985

We went to Carol’s to visit, fellowship in the Lord, discuss home school. She had been thinking urgently about Timmy’s schooling, she said “last week”.

While she was talking to me about it an idea come to her to GIVE me the 6 or 7 sets of reading books she had just received!

Also she gave me a social studies syllabus called My America which will cover Social studies wonderfully for all the boys. WHERE GOD LEADS, GOD PROVIDES.

YOU amaze me, Lord. You put the need on both our hearts, then allowed Carol to be a blessing and for us to be blessed! Bless You, praise You. Wonderful Savior.

167- Humble Recommitment

167- Humble Recommitment

November 19, 1985

Psalm 71:1a,3a,4a,5,14,22,23,24 KJV

            In Thee, O Lord, I have taken refuge…

            Be Thou a rock of habitation to which I may continually come.

            Rescue me…

            For Thou art my hope…

            O Lord, God, Thou art my confidence…

            But as for me I will hope continually and will praise Thee yet more and more.

            I will praise Thee…

            My tongue also will utter Thy righteousness all day long…

 

Father ~ for every time I have doubted You, cleanse me now. For every time I have accused You of forsaking or forgetting me, cleanse me now.

I desire to be a pure, holy, empty vessel filled with Your Holy Spirit. That is my ambition. Take my feet where You will. Let praises and testimonies of Your grace and righteousness come from my mouth because Your Spirit brings to remembrance the Word I have hidden abundantly in my heart.

Looking eye-to-eye with Jesus~

166- Accepted and Loved

166- Accepted and Loved

November 18, 1985

Up at 5:15am by the grace of Jesus.

Streams in the Desert, p. 332: My environment is of His determining. He means it to intensify my faith, to draw me into nearer communion with Himself, to ripen my power. In the dungeon my soul should prosper. Luke 7:23 And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me.

I asked for a repentant heart, waking up with a bad dream, accusations on my mind, and failures on my mind.

The Luke scripture led me to what Dan shared from the meeting on Thursday night: the woman washing Jesus’ feet with her tears, drying them with her hair, and anointing them with perfume.

He accepted her, he loved and cherished and forgave her. He even defended her before those who questioned her sanctification. Luke 7:36-50

Woman washing Jesus’ feet with her tears and drying them with her hair.

Oh, God, that these experiences in my life would tenderize my heart and give me compassion for others.

164- Confessed, Repented, and Received!

164- Confessed, Repented, and Received!

November 11, 1985

I fasted, except for two cups of bouillon, coming to God several times today.

Dan was home last night and ½ of today. Nice to have him here, but he is antsy to be working.

In my prayer time I felt so superficial, so under condemnation, and convicted of selfishness and impatience.

Also—another person in our church has hepatitis. Dan is very concerned. Both of the men (and one’s wife) that are stricken have health insurance and solid jobs. Dan is without any health insurance and between jobs.

I surrendered and prayed for everyone’s health and asked God to speak to me, inspire and instruct me. Baby woke up several times at night, and I feel like God used that, too, to keep me praying.

It occurred to me clearly that I’m to be a praising person—because the Bible says to, because Jesus is worthy of my praises, because He inhabits the praises of His people.

And we need His presence.

If I could, by His wonderful grace, become a praising person, my mind would be filled up with Him instead of with both self-deprecating and self-exalting thoughts.

I confessed not liking myself, realizing clearly deep in my Spirit that He made me—He formed me in my mother’s womb; He fashioned me, He’s had His hand on my life. Psalm 139:13a, 16b

I confessed speaking ill of the boys. When Timmy over heard me saying: “I got to go shopping without them” he said, “don’t you like to take us shopping? Is it easier without us?” I was crushed that I had confused my dear son. What an insult to speak that negative thing as if they were not there. See my need, Lord? Help! I am so sorry.

I need an attitude overhaul. I need to be filled with Jesus, overflowing with His Spirit.

By giving it to God and spilling it all out before Him, I feel encouraged!

November 14

I feel that because I confessed and repented of not liking myself and speaking rashly –that I got filled up! Now it’s Thursday and I have been so full of the presence of God since Monday and Tuesday…

It’s wonderful. At times I’m free and joyful, but mostly I’m warm, near tears, aware of God’s presence. You meet the broken-hearted, sweet Jesus!

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 38:18 NIV

161- Notice me!

161- Notice me!

November 3, 1985

Dan went to church taking Stevie and Mark.

I stayed home with Timmy and Daniel who had runny noses and sore throats.

I began to resent Dan being so well respected, enjoying another ‘feeding’ of the Word of God when for weeks I have been in the church nursery or been home with sick kids.

I’ve also been thinking about people who are oozing love and joy when their personal circumstances stink or their health is broken, or their hearts are broken.

Why not me oozing love and joy?

God spoke to me clearly—you still want glory for yourself. You’re jealous of your husband’s time away, his position of honor within the church. You don’t want to stand beside or behind him—you want to be in front. Also with ME (not verbatim remembering): You still want glory for yourself or at least lots of attention regarding your ‘difficult’ circumstances. You want everyone to know you are sacrificing. The flesh is alive and well, Georgann.

I repented and I was IMMEDIATELY release of bitterness and heaviness.  wow

YET, later with JoAnn, I made sure she knew something of my sacrifices! Groan!! 

Lord, I prayed later, release me to be a child whose life exemplifies Christ’s acceptance of Your will and His trust in Your leading.

159- Are You Willing to do Some Bold Things?

159- Are You Willing to do Some Bold Things?

October 5, 1985

Saturday night Dan had been awakened by Daniel, but rather than being groggy, he found himself alert and interested in talking to God, and he said, “I really want to serve You and be fruitful in what I do for You. But I don’t want to move. Can we stay here for 5 years?”

He remembered back to Bible School in Germany when we were first married, saying to God, “I want to be in construction” – that’s where his heart was then.

Recently Gramma offered to loan him chunk of money so that he could build another house and he had picked up the forms to apply for his contractor’s license. He could envision designing and building a home.

Tonight he felt God said, “Are you willing to do some bold things? Are you willing to move out of this house?”

Those questions jolted Dan out of his comfort place.

The next day the Pastor’s sermon included some of the things God had been speaking to Dan.

We’ll see.

I thought it was interesting when I read in my Streams in the Desert devotional for today: “It is safe to trust God’s methods and go by His clock.”

Pastor Dave talked to Dan about the Suburban Dan has his eye on.

What do You have for us, Father? We are ready for Your call, ready to say yes to whatever You offer. I feel something is in the offing. We have been bold before. Your part is to supply the direction and the grace, our part is to say yes and start moving. We are listening!

158- Where is the Music of Life?

158- Where is the Music of Life?

September 28, 1985

This was my day: pressures, then self-pity, then peace–as I did it God’s way.

Pressures, problems, advice, frustration, more problems, impatience, self-hate, crying, EXPLOSION!

Pity, accusations, anger, self-hate, crying, guilt, horror, no escape—BUT IN HIM!!

Remorse, repentance, cleansing, crying, peace, rest, yieldedness, His will, His way, His Word.

And then I read my devotional.

Streams in the Desert, p. 282 IT IS YOUR MISSION, tested and tried one, TO WALK OUT ON THE STAGE OF THIS WORLD AND REVEAL TO ALL EARTH AND HEAVEN THAT THE MUSIC IS NOT IN THE CONDITIONS, NOT IN THE THINGS, NOT IN EXTERNALS, BUT THE MUSIC OF LIFE IS IN YOUR OWN SOUL.”

Oh, Savior, I felt that was a precious Word for me from You. I really needed a tender word of encouragement and UNDERSTANDING. And You gave it. Thank You so much. Bless You. Bless You.

John 16:33 These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.

I was carrying that music into the evening when we saw two friends who were once strong Christians. Unfortunately the spirit of rebellion that was inhabiting Lora came to me trying to make me angry and to entice me into doing what she is doing, which is hating God and all Christians!

Afterward, Dan prayed for me strongly. I agreed with his prayers and also prayed my complete willingness to be free of that spirit and to wholeheartedly go God’s way.

Unlike the last two or three big trials of this nature, this temptation lasted minutes! –while the others lasted days or weeks! Victory in Jesus. And the music returned to my soul!

151- God Gave Me His Perspective

151- God Gave Me His Perspective

July 2, 1985

Prayed today that I could cry tears [I don’t cry easily] over the up 6-8 times a night ordeal and really give it to God. I tried to pray tonight. What do I ask? What do I say? So I asked the Spirit to pray.

I was in the midst of getting the boys to bed on this hot summer’s night. Everyone was resisting. Daniel (age 1 ½) wanted to be walked then took his jammies off so he could cool off. Mark and Steve both said: “I’m scared.” Timmy wanted more water—“it’s too hot!”

By 9:20 I’m saying to myself: “they’re taking my life—my whole life!” And I hear –“no, it’s ME taking your whole life—won’t you die so I can have all of it? You are not resisting the boys only (and that makes you feel guilt enough)—you’re resisting ME, You’re Savior.”

I argue—“but what about my monthly letters home—I’m two behind– and thehomeschool library book due in 3 days—I’m only halfway through it (School Can Wait); and Redpath’s book, and the ironing. I could have done all of those tonight! They’re all good things—it’s not like I’m watching dumb tv shows or gabbing on the phone. I just don’t get it!! I’ve already let go of so much.”

Redpath, p 83 (Victorious Christian Living) “Fellow Christian, do not be afraid of the knife. It is in the hand of the lover of your soul, Jesus your Savior. Whatever be the cost…let today be the place of absolute renunciation of everything that the Spirit of God reveals to you is contrary to His will.” (crabbing and having a stinky attitude are not Your will, Lord, I repent!)

        page 84 As you submit, God becomes real. Obey Him.

       page 85 Five minutes in heaven will make all of the suffering and agony real—the suffering and the agony is about the conflict and the battle to do the will of God. Until we get to heaven, God’s purpose is that we should feast on our Lord Jesus. I must enjoy Jesus in my heart before I can tell others about Him.  (I’m not enjoying You, Lord, I’m not rejoicing in all things and having faith that they will settle down eventually.)

       page 86 How much time have you spent with God in quiet, opened Bible, waiting on Him? IN THE QUIET PLACE YOUR WEAKNESS COULD HAVE ABSORBED HIS STRENGTH, your restlessness could have been stilled by His power and peace, your impatience could have absorbed the grace and long-suffering of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Thank you, Alan Redpath, for perspective on my wonderful life and Jesus’ availability.

147- Just Another Day of Normal Christian Life

147- Just Another Day of Normal Christian Life

March 11, 1985

Last night after Servants’ Class (at church), driving home,  I passed an accident. Saw two young 6-8 year old boys being led from a crunched car by an ambulance attendant. An adult was still behind the wheel. I was overcome with emotion which I believe was the Holy Spirit. The trauma of the accident, then the trauma of separation from their parent—oh did we pray! the Spirit and I. Then peace came. Interesting.

With Carol on the phone today and Daniel began screaming in the midst of our prayer, obviously hurt. I tended to him. When I called Carol back I had a ‘picture’ of a lost sheep, alone, no flock. Wow. It was perfect for her situation. She agreed. Meet her Jesus!

Dan will be at Mumbo’s all night from 5:30pm-8am. It occurred to me that I’ll be alone with the kids a lot now because of Mumbo’s needs and later over the church building project. Perhaps in preparation for Dan’s schooling in the fall when he will be gone a lot and studying?? Just a thought. Thy will be done, Lord.

Timmy, Steve and Markie are practicing ‘winking’ while baby Daniel looks on.

Experiencing much rejection from friends…some persecution, loneliness—separation from Dan—but I am having victory over the flesh. Insisting on not worrying, not fearing, not getting angry. Walking CLOSE to God. How wonderful.

March 14

VICTORY SO SWEET with Sally and Julie. Should have felt mad, hurt by the way they treated me. But it all totally lifted from me as I stood in the TRUTH that God is for me and what can man do to me!! I am really living by my will and by the truth and not by my emotions.

Mark 8:33 [Jesus rebuked Peter soundly for setting his mind on man’s interests and not on God’s.]

Mark 8:34 deny self, take up cross, follow Jesus..

137- I Am Called to Mothering

137- I Am Called to Mothering

December 27, 1984

Father I know You have more of me now. Something really happened in my will and in my heart–since my encounter with You last week.

Christmas morning I took Mary Lynn to work at 6:30am—in fact, I just realized I have awakened at 5am each day since my revelation of materialism and covetousness. Thank You, Father. And thank You that we did not move to NY. The support of friends has been vital at this time.

It is in my heart to want to spend more time with the boys– listening, sharing, reading, playing. I want each one to feel special and loved.

December 28

1 Cor 1:26 For consider your calling, brethren…

              28 …God has chosen the things that are not, that He might nullify the things that are…

             29 so that no man may boast before God…

             30 But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption,

              31 so that just as it is written, “LET HIM WHO BOASTS, BOAST IN THE LORD.

This is such a wonderful revelation to me:

     I am called to mothering. This has baffled me. Before Dan and I were married we put the subject of having children in Your hands, completely relying on Your will to be done. 

    When I was released from public school teaching and then the Christian school teaching job did not work out that fall, I realized I was very relieved. The car hop and cashier jobs caused me to feel you were directing me away from kids’ work.

But God chose something that WAS NOT so that I could NOT BOAST before Him. I was not yearning to be a mom, I was yearning to do Your will. And You gave me the calling to raise children as Your gift.

This fills me with excitement in my Spirit from my head to my toes. Not only does this say to me that the results are Yours, but the responsibility is Yours, too. It is ‘by His doing.’

I was impure, foolish, unholy, lost. Jesus Christ became my wisdom, righteousness, my sanctification, my redemption. BY HIS DOING  I am in Christ Jesus. I am so grateful.