I went to Dr. Ruiz and had a positive urine test! I’m pregnant! Due in June.
God, You have definitely been preparing me and as I look at You I am at peace and in joy. In September I suspected, but with Mark being sick and in the hospital I was so distracted and stressed, I could not be sure.
When I consider facing my parents and 95% of my Christian friends my blood runs cold because they will see us as foolish. SPEAK, LORD. I NEED A RHEMA FROM YOU!
HEBREWS 10:38 Now the just shall live by faith; but if anyone draws back, My soul has no pleasure in him.
Habakkuk 2:4c But the just shall live by his faith.
Dan gave me:Psalm 23:3b He leads me in the paths of righteous for HIS NAMESAKE.
It is for Jesus’ namesake that I go this way—hallelujah!
Tynale Commentary on the Bible on Psalm 23:3: The righteous one (whether an individual or a group) who belongs to God and whose trust continues in God and His promises SHALL LIVE, i.e., shall survive the present trial and receive His eternal reward. If, however, he DRAWS BACK THROUGH fear, God shall have no pleasure in him.
Dan also gave me:Psalm 128:1-4 Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in His ways….Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table. Behold thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord.
Our sons were 4, 3, and 1 when I had the positive pregnancy test! And, yes, people’s mouths fell open as the word got around that baby #4 was due in June.
As I re-read this post of my journal entries, I sound a little like a kook! But Dan and I have walked by faith our entire experience with Jesus. We have wanted to hear from Him and we have wanted to please Him by obeying Him. If others did not understand us, it was hard to bear sometimes, but it was okay. He always made sure we had at least one or two people who got it –because they lived that way also, or because they wished they could live in that kind of faith and they admired us for doing it. As the years have passed, we have matured, and we still walk by faith, seeking Him, listening and waiting for His word.
Post-partum depression was not invented when I was going through it in the early 1980’s. I just thought I was a little koo-koo. Several years ago I calculated that I was pregnant or nursing for 7 ½ years except for two weeks.
I became pregnant on the third day of our honeymoon at age 32, nursed each of the boys for 6-12 months. Our 4th baby was born when I was 39 and I nursed him for 6 months. It’s not a Guinness record, but it is remarkable for me– since we seemed to be moving at warp speed in our Christian walk, and I was pretty much out of my comfort zone.
Our story about the birth of our third son is that I had a check-up scheduled with the doctor on my due date. I was very large and very uncomfortable and was determined to gather up my courage and insist that I deliver our baby THAT day. The doctor’s examination revealed that my body was ready, and he told us to meet him at the hospital and that our baby would be born that day.
Dan and I went home and I called my mom (no cell phones then). I packed for me, and Dan packed a bag for Timmy and Stephen. We dropped the boys off at Papa and Tutu’s and then made our way to the hospital. The doctor had been waiting two hours, expecting we had been on our way to the hospital after leaving his office. He was not very happy. He got over it, and Mark made his appearance. In those days both mom and baby automatically stayed in the hospital for 2 or 3 days. I appreciated the rest and was happy to be waited on a little bit as I snuggled our little son.
We had been considering the name Silas, because Paul and Silas were such Bible heroes for rejoicing while in prison. My mom and our good friend, Lynn, were very against Silas because they both claimed it was a very odd name to saddle a kid with.
Our niece, Jeannie, Aug’s daughter, wanted us to name our baby Auguste after her dad. Auguste was a long-time family name from the French side.
Mumbo’s friend, Daisy, said she had a dream that we named our son Mark.
So we honored them all and named our son Mark Auguste.
Our friends Bruce and Diane loaned us a beautiful cradle that Bruce had made. My Mom, Grayce, aka GG, flew to Reno to cook for us, cuddle her new grandson, and to play with the boys. Timmy and Stephen were very curious about their new little brother. Hmmm, what changes were coming with this new guy joining our family?
Soon the boys realized that life would go on pretty much as usual: Mom would still take them on walks, Dad would still read lots of books, and there would still be sandbox time every day.
Mark was born in March, 1982, and in April we moved into the solar house that Dan had built. Timmy turned 3 five weeks after Mark was born, Stevie turned 2 four months after Mark was born. Yes, they were born very close together. It was God and it was GOOD.
When I came to the Lord, I gave everything to Jesus and pursued our relationship with a consistency not my own.
The desire to please Him and to know Him camewith the bundle of salvation and the depth of my continued commitment has been steady. I believe it helped that I had traveled, had owned a fur coat, a sports car, art work, and had had a career. I had satisfied my worldly curiousities. I think it helped that I had been raised in a good home, in the Catholic faith, and had that as a spiritual foundation, even though I had walked away from it and into the world’s thinking for 8 years. I believe that from a child I had a special faith in God and a relationship with Him.
By the time I was 29 years old and became born again, I had had enough of the world and its ways and my primary life interest was a spiritual journey with Jesus.
My journals to this day, 40 years later, are about me pouring out my heart to God and seeking his consolation and His leading, and then reading the Bible and listening for the Holy Spirit to speak to me. I have been an avid note-taker during sermons, and when watching teaching DVD’s, and I underline in every book I read. In later years when I understood more about the prophetic, when someone would say they had a word for me, I would write it down. A few years ago I felt that the Spirit told me I was a scribe: I write what I hear about Jesus and His life and the Christian life. I write down prophetic words that others give me.
This steadfastness is fueled by continuous surrender to Jesus and also because I married a man with the same passion for Jesus. We have had an exciting life of faith and my God stories would fill a book, which has recently become my goal –to write a book.
In the first 7 years I was a Christian, I was being mentored by reading books by George Mueller, Oswald Chambers, Mrs. Charles E. Cowman, Hannah W. Smith, and especially the Bible. These men and women and many others’ books I read were serious-about-God, sort of old-fashioned books. Their lives were examples of total yeildedness and their purpose was bringing glory to God however He would ask. I was very submissive, always analyzing myself and striving, always striving, for close personal relationship with Jesus with the fruit of Godly attributes.
All of this does not mean in any way that I have been without faults. It means that I have seen my faults, sometimes right away, sometimes eventually, and been sorry, maybe cried, and repented, always trying to stay close to God. I am a melancholy temperament who wants to please the Lord. Like Billy Graham’s daughter, Gigi Tchividijan said on p 142 of her book, Thank You Lord forMy Home: “I have always been a good repenter. Perhaps God made me this way because He knew that I would have much for which to say, ‘I am sorry.'”
We have been very careful with our money. We have been givers more than spenders. And that put me in a position of humility–always asking for God for what we needed. Always walking by faith that He would provide.
Jan 3, 1981 Thank You that Stephen has been waking up at 6:00 sharp 3 or 4 days in a row—this means that I can have quiet time before he wakes up! Thank You for the clothes and the book JoAnn brought me, Father; You are faithful!
Jan 6 Father, it seems so silly—and certainly unimpressive—that I should need faith in such petty matters—such as the boys napping and not waking each other, a joyful attitude for this very plain day, energy to meet the physical demands of the day, patience to put off making apple butter and cookies—the things my flesh wants to accomplish—so that I can focus on playing with the boys today. But these are the mountains in my day, and so I turn to You: Jesus said, “Have faith in God.”
Thank you for the 50 minutes I had for shopping on Saturday—and alone! Thank You for the money from Mumbo to buy sleepers and a bumper pad on Sunday. Thank You for my willing heart to offer and to stay in the nursery Sunday, and for the warning and preparation from You in my heart that morning. Thank You for $11 in my purse today so I didn’t have to write a check at the doctor’s. Thank You that we could share a meal with Nancy and Mike.
Later: After a hard afternoon with the boys—I don’t even want to go to Japan to be missionaries. How did I ever think I could manage that when living here is so difficult so often…
*The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life -Hannah Whitall Smith
*The Autobiography of George Mueller
*My Utmost for His Highest (devotional) -Oswald Chambers