266 – The Testimony of Jesus

266 – The Testimony of Jesus

April 8, 1987

The Testimony of Jesus

I would like to give a testimony before the great cloud of witnesses, The Throne, the angels—that my obedience at spending 1 hour and 45 minutes with God this morning (4:45-6:30 am) has resulted in me not being tired at bedtime (9:30 pm), my physical aggravations (canker sore which usually aches every night)(and another ailment)—haven’t really bothered me. I HAD long-suffering toward the boys (PTL) and took care of the three Durkee kids for 45 minutes this afternoon and the 2 McAloon kids for 1 hour this evening—gladly, easily, even sitting for at least 30-40 minutes chatting with one of the girls while I crocheted—I was relaxed and happy!

I spent extra time with Daniel and enjoyed him and did not begrudge the time, and later went with the boys down to the creek.

Four tales came regarding the boys behavior in the neighborhood, and I was not thrown into despair! PTL

I said some unkind things about someone to Debbie and quickly called and asked forgiveness and didn’t get under condemnation!!

Dan had to have the car towed ($25) and spend $90 on a new voltage regulator and did not get the wheels aligned and I was not upset, just compassionate.

He was gone till 5:45 pm and I didn’t panic or feel self pity for missing my walk!

I had a divine appointment with Donna (who brought us the groceries from her church back in December).

The house is picked up and the laundry done—PRAISE THE LORD!

214 – Praise Looses Chains

214 – Praise Looses Chains

October 3, 1986

I had a wonderful experience of  …our God inhabits the praises of His people…” (a phrase referring to Psalm 22:3)

Burdened, frustrated, overwhelmed and it was only mid-day. I went for a walk in the wind and rain and praised God determinedly and kept praising Him and acknowledging how merciful and compassionate He was. The darkness and the heaviness lifted.

I found myself hearing and welcoming some fun and creative homeschool ideas. You are wonderful and fantastic, Lord!

At home I turned some Christian music up LOUD and kept praising Him.

At home group that night I felt Dan and I were able to minister together.

Later I remembered the song by the Imperials (1979) called Praise the Lord:

“Now Satan is a liar and he wants to make us think
That we are paupers when he knows himself we’re children of the King.
So lift up the mighty shield of faith for the battle must be won,
We know that Jesus Christ has risen so the work’s already done.

Praise the Lord, for the chains that seem to bind you–

serve only to remind you–

that they drop powerless behind you–

when you praise Him.”

192 – We’ve Left Them All

192 – We’ve Left Them All

June 14, 1986

And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. Matthew 19:29

We left our awesome solar house that Dan built us. We sold it, expecting that we were headed out for Bible School in New York. We rented homes in Reno for two more years until we felt God released us to once again pick up the vision for further training in order to prepare us for our goal of being missionaries to Japan. And then we left our brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers for His sake.

During our stay at my parents’ house Dan did some odd jobs and  repaired our tent. One of my fillings fell out and I was able to get it fixed that day. I had to go back the next day because it fell out again!  On Saturday, I took a half hour walk at 5:50am, we ate breakfast together, said tearful goodbyes, and began our road trip in earnest.

Timmy made up a longer game from ‘padiddle’ which is what you say when you see a car with one headlight out. ‘Diddle’ was for two lights on and Scriddle was for 2 lights off.

Bev had given us a goodie bag! Inside were four hedgehog puppets, all-day suckers, a music tape from Life Center Sunday worship. We all sang along to the familiar songs.

There were lots of power lines and cactus and big dips in the road. Markie, age 4, said, I think they made these dips just for the kids to have fun!

In Needles, California, it was 112 degrees. We got icy sodas for everyone at our McDonald’s potty stop. Daniel spilled most of his on his lap in his car seat. It cooled him off but it was pretty sticky!

Part of the ‘hundred times as much blessing’ was that the boys had excellent behavior and excellent health as we traveled across the country from coast to coast. They were mostly happy and content.

The first night we spent $53 for a room with 3 queen beds in Kingman, AZ. The second night we set up the tent in an Albuquerque, NM, KOA campground. ($22.65). We ate cold canned tamales and chili beans, grapes, bread and butter and made the decision to eat in diners or fast food places for the remainder of the journey. And after putting the 10-man tent up (after a very long days’ drive) then taking it down in the heavy dew in the morning, repacking the car, and then traveling all day in the heat, we opted for motels for the rest of the journey. Time and efficiency were precious commodities.

 

The Lord is very very personal to his children, especially when we trust Him fully. I asked specifically and He answered specifically.

190 – Getting, Giving, and Forgiving

 190 – Getting, Giving, and Forgiving

May 28, 1986

One more week before we leave for New York.

Dan now has 3 moving crates for our all of our worldly goods, which will be loaded on the high school teacher’s flat bed and transported to Livonia, NY. Dan is pleased with them and with the price. One cost $5 and the other two cost $20 each.

Dan took several of our plants to Hydraulic Depot, our friend Jim’s business. Today when I called, the girl who is always such a crabby person on the phone was friendly! Dan said she was overjoyed when he brought the plants. We learned a lesson in softening people’s hearts—bless them!!

Our house on LaRue was snuggled in between 3 apartment buildings. Many of our neighbors worked at the casinos downtown, a few blocks away, and slept during the day. It was a challenge to get the boys and their friends to play quietly outside as they raced around our house, running or on their big wheels.

I apologized to the man with the orange truck who lives next door to us.  I felt the time was right as I saw him sitting on his front step reading. First I went to Dan and he prayed for me.

“Excuse me, but we’re moving and I want to be sure to apologize before we go, for the episode the other day. I know the kids get noisy and I was defensive because I work so hard at having them be quiet.” He replied,  “Well, kids ARE noisy and Mom’s ought to be defensive toward their kids.”

He was gracious and forgiving and grateful for the apology.

I was repentant and humble and sincere.

And I was relieved that he had not argued with me and sorry we had not made friends sooner.

180- New York is On Our Minds

180- New York is

 On Our Minds

January 27, 1986

Were we supposed to wait on God and keep waiting?  Or were we supposed to grab His hand by faith and go forward with Him? We had already been delayed a year and a half. We were ready to leave home, friends, church, city, and launch out into our preparation for our calling to be missionaries to Japan.

Dan and I agreed that we are to begin planning to go to Elim.

We also believed that there is wisdom in counsel.

…in the multitude of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 11:17

I asked Jeanette, Betty, and Bev to pray. Dan had already talked to several men and is talking to pastor right now. May Pastor Dave have the discernment from Jesus to guide us, the foresight, the faith, the courage necessary to release us or not, as God Himself wills for us. Amen

Pastor advised Dan to go into pastoring–to find a church or plant a church–not go to school. But he said he would support us whatever we choose. 

We kept praying and seeking God.

February 7

We had dinner with Norm and Marge. They paid for the baby sitter. $12. We found out that they know about Elim and the Spencer family (founders). They are excited for us! They encouraged us and prayed for us. We were very lifted up in our spirits.

Our Pastor agreed with the district supervisor that we plant a church. They believed Dan was ready to minister and not in need of further schooling. 

Norm and Marge agreed with Paul and Karen–that we begin planning to attend Elim. 

In hindsight we were doing a bold thing to step out in faith and trust God. And we have done many bold things since. 

We had just received a letter from Elim requesting: $75 fee, reference letter from our pastor, phone interview with their Dean of Married Students, list of indebtedness while attending, and our  means of support while attending the school. We replied and mailed it.

March 26

Palmer Johnson called Dan from Elim:

   ……..they want us! All is go!!…. 

173- Early Morning Surrender

173- Early Morning Surrender

December 3, 1985

I am just finishing a cold. Had a wonderful night’s sleep. I had prayed last night at bedtime to be alert and inspired to seek God in the morning! It’s 5am – PRAISE GOD! And on top of that, Dan prayed for me before we began our devotions.

Father, just as Your SUFFICIENT grace is available to completely support me in the midst of a crisis or a tragedy, SO NOW IN THE SAME MANNER WHEN I AM FEELING CAST DOWN, I say—I have no interest in dwelling on the negatives, the hardships of my life. I turn to You. Lift me above the illusion of ugliness to the reality of soaring with You. You are in control, I accept the circumstances. I have prayed about them and put them fully in Your capable, almighty hands. I give you my ATTITUDES. I do not want the heaviness and grief of my negative flesh, old nature, to encompass me. NO, I desire Christ Himself to be LIFE in me and through me to all I touch. I do not withhold the love of Jesus from my family—I open myself completely to Your surging, throbbing LOVE, Your strengthening JOY, Your incomprehensible PEACE, Your steadfast FAITH and FAITHFULNESS, Your unending KINDNESS, Your CONTROLLING of myself. BE YOURSELF THROUGH ME. MAKE ME A BLESSING as You promised Abraham. For Your glory, for my joy and fulfillment and purpose.

Isaiah 8:17a And I will wait on the Lord…and I will hope in Him.

Hebrews 2:13 and Isa 8:18 Here am I and the children whom the Lord has given me! We are for signs and wonders in Israel from the Lord of hosts…

171- Back on Track for Bible School – Part 1

171- Back on Track for Bible School – part 1

December 2, 1985

GOD HAS INTERVENED…GOD HAS MOVED…THE MIRACULOUS HAS HAPPENED!

We are back on the track to attend Elim Bible Institute in upstate New York.

Yesterday at church, Pastor Dave spoke very effectively on ILLUSIONS. That very often our reality is NOT God’s reality. We need to face our illusions and let God change them and us. We try to put our facts and our understanding of God into a box or a ritual. But God is greater than our understanding. We want Him to do things OUR way so we’ll be secure.

But we must risk stepping out by faith, and let Him be God in our lives, in our church.

The prayer afterward was a surrender, a releasing of personal fears, and an agreement with God to letting Him make our reality jive with His. We want HIM to move HIS way.

I prayed also, silently, that God would speak to Dan about Elim.

A month ago I sent for this pamphlet by Ralph Mahoney, “God’s Guidance.”

It enumerates 7 aspects of knowing God’s leading and as I look back…

The first one has been haunting me for a year-and-a-half.

1- INWARD CONVICTION: Dan received a CLEAR yearning, a call, to go to SCHOOL. It happened on our anniversary while we watched “Peace Child,” July 21, 1982. It was Don Richardson’s story.

2- GUIDANCE SIGNS: Dan showed me scripture later supporting God’s calling. We felt that our united hearts was a guidance sign also.

3- PROPHETIC UTTERANCE: That was the day when we were both depressed, and I felt I could not endure Dan’s heaviness any longer and felt so compassionate about his frustrations. I prayed (see blog #116 ). Totally out of the blue, spontaneous and unusual, my best friend’s husband came to the house with a clear word for Dan and I– that we were to pursue the schooling we desired in the far north and to do it soon.

4- GODLY COUNSEL – [this is what tangled us up almost 2 years ago]. Two elders from our church stepped in. Dan was becoming overwhelmed at the prospects of taking our young family (our sons ages 2,4,5 and one ‘on the way’) across the country to NY. Also, over the phone, a man from Elim advised us to wait because God had him wait. Yet two friends were strongly encouraging us to GO.           …to be continued…

167- Humble Recommitment

167- Humble Recommitment

November 19, 1985

Psalm 71:1a,3a,4a,5,14,22,23,24 KJV

            In Thee, O Lord, I have taken refuge…

            Be Thou a rock of habitation to which I may continually come.

            Rescue me…

            For Thou art my hope…

            O Lord, God, Thou art my confidence…

            But as for me I will hope continually and will praise Thee yet more and more.

            I will praise Thee…

            My tongue also will utter Thy righteousness all day long…

 

Father ~ for every time I have doubted You, cleanse me now. For every time I have accused You of forsaking or forgetting me, cleanse me now.

I desire to be a pure, holy, empty vessel filled with Your Holy Spirit. That is my ambition. Take my feet where You will. Let praises and testimonies of Your grace and righteousness come from my mouth because Your Spirit brings to remembrance the Word I have hidden abundantly in my heart.

Looking eye-to-eye with Jesus~

166- Accepted and Loved

166- Accepted and Loved

November 18, 1985

Up at 5:15 am, by the grace of Jesus, to read and to pray.

Streams in the Desert, p. 332: My environment is of His determining. He means it to intensify my faith, to draw me into nearer communion with Himself, to ripen my power. In the dungeon my soul should prosper. Luke 7:23 And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me.

I asked for a repentant heart, waking up with a bad dream, accusations on my mind, and failures on my mind. The dream reminded me of my worldly days away from God.

The Luke scripture led me think about to what Dan shared in the meeting on Thursday night: the woman who was washing Jesus’ feet with her tears, drying them with her hair, and anointing them with perfume. I am hearing: that woman is me. It is me as I bring my past humbly and with repentance to Him. As I pour out my soul and love Him. 

Jesus accepted her; he loved and cherished and forgave her. He even defended her before those who questioned her sanctification. Luke 7:36-50

Woman washing Jesus’ feet with her tears and drying them with her hair.

Oh, God, that these experiences in my life would tenderize my heart and give me compassion for others who have a similar story.

154- Summer Leads to Fall

154- Summer Leads to Fall…

July 1985

Our July calendar was full. I went to a home school curriculum fair with Carol and Janet and was getting together with other friends who were also interested in teaching their children. For Steve’s birthday we had a kite flying party at Rancho with 5 of his friends and their moms. On the 4th our church family met at the church property for a barbecue and to watch the fireworks and another day we all met at Lake Tahoe for sunning and swimming.

Dan and I are enjoying a 4-couple group that meets for dinner and games and lots of laughs once a month!

Mark & Tim perched in the middle of the river on a great big rock!

Dan declared a whole day off! We ate breakfast at Bob’s Big Boy at 8am, drove to the Feather River Canyon and the boys played in the river. We had dinner and ice cream cones on the way home and we all fell into bed about 10.

Daniel’s not too sure, but Steve’s happy enough for both of them.

 

 

August 17, 1985

Gen 22:24 I am impressed by the servant’s prayers. He is not saying, “oh, Lord, bless ME, give ME.…” He is asking: “give me success today by showing kindness to my master, Abraham.”  It seems a small item, but God has been impressing on me, just as I begin to pray for something for myself, to pray it instead for someone else. Such as a nice vacation for Jenny this week, nice complexions for her children  Also I am impressed to pray for Dan more respectfully.

September 16

I have been reading my Bible but not writing in my journal. Dan’s work on Life Center Church building should finally drop off this week. Soon he will need another job. He has been working 65-75 hours a week. We have all felt the strain. I have been able to go to Joyce’s prayer meetings about six times this summer while Dan has watched the kids. Home school is going okay. Have higher hopes. House is fairly organized. Meals are good –I’m a fifties cook, taking after my mom. Trying to be more consistent with discipline. Trying to spend time alone with each boy.

Spiritually I am focusing on Christ’s righteousness as my righteousness.