165- Fred Said to Plant a Church

165- Fred Said to Plant a Church

November 16 1985

Streams in the Desert, devotional, today shook me up:

Rev 12:11 They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and they loved not their lives unto death.

I had just been reading the mail with Dan, and we were especially impacted by a New Tribes Mission newsletter regarding some missionaries captured by natives in Columbia and how they were doing after their release.

To open my devotional to this verse about martyrdom gave me quite a shake. In all honesty and confidence, I have felt for a long time that we would be with New Tribes and that our boys would go to a mission school.

Correlated to that possibility: Dan was able to talk to Fred W our district supervisor. He said he is praying this verse for us:

Colossians 1:9-11

For this reason also, since the day we heard of it, we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding—so that you may walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience, joyously giving thanks to the Father.

Fred did not suggest going to Bible School at all, but promoted  evangelism and church planting. He suggested we pray and see what the Lord might do. He spoke of going to a city to start a church, getting a job to support the family, and then meeting people and evangelizing them.

[This is an example of a person having a vision or a goal that he wants to fit you into. We could have taken it as confirmation of what our Pastor had said, because he said the same thing. But we had been praying diligently and walking with the Lord through this for years, and we knew it was not what God had put on our hearts. He had put Bible School on our hearts and we respectfully stuck with that.]

162- God Keeps Loving Me

162- God Keeps Loving Me

November 4, 1985

In an intercessory prayer letter a man testified that he had been at a point where he felt he did not have anybody on his side, even his wife. God had stripped away his entire support system, isolated him in the midst of a busy life. Yet during that season he made the most important decision of his life. He decided God was enough.

Lord, I feel like I’m in and out of that position. When we had to give up our dream of going to Bible school in NY the disappointment devastated me. My life was shaken up, friends left me, I left friends—they moved away or we just fell away from each other. I quit everything. But You were enough! You saw me through my sadness. After that I accepted that Dan was doing Your work at the church for hours and hours every day. And again. You blessed me with so much grace to get through it. You truly are enough!

And You just keep loving me no matter dips and snags happen in our relationship.

Jan came over on Saturday to watch my kids while I went to the store. She read my Streams in the Desert devotional and my Bible. She rested in You. She has had a great desire to do daily devotions but just hasn’t taken the leap. Being here today she has been in touch with You. She is radiant. Bless You! That she experienced You HERE is a gift that I will always cherish.

Later she said on the phone—“I’ve always said of Georgann, “how does she do it?” But now I know. You draw your strength from Jesus daily.

Later, I felt the Lord say of Streams—this is something you can read and understand in your mind without My Spirit’s anointing. Go back to reading the Word and My Spirit will anoint it for you, to teach you and to comfort you. Get back to reading the Bible.

November 5

Boys up in the night, sick with croup, etc.

Today, Steve and Mark are sick, Tim is recovering.

I got up at 6 to go on my walk– 30 minutes. Good prayer time.

It was a GOOD day. School went WELL for Tim – 1 hour.

Put Daniel in the play pen—new idea.

Mark feeling quite sick, so I called the doctor: humidifier, cough medicine, Tylenol.

I kept my cool. Jesus was glorified!

Your grace has been sufficient, Your love has been enough!!

150- Living the ‘at home mom’ Life

150- Living the

‘at-home mom’ life

June 12, 1985

Walked early, unburdened myself, praised, prayed.

Had time with Tim (school), with Steve (hanging out with us), Mark (game), and Danny (snuggling and making him laugh).

Oh, it was so satisfying!                          [PICTURE OF THEM)

They water-colored, then played outside with our neighbor, Sandra.

By 1:00 I was exhausted, short-tempered. BUT I RECOVERED QUICKLY! Praise the Lord!!

Five or six nights of little sleep is getting to me.

I do believe the verses from yesterday and my agreement with God over them, my disgust with myself and repentance, helped this day to be clear and abundant. Bless God.

Here we go again—God is reminding me:

Prov 16:32 He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who captures a city.

June 18

I have sinusitis or strep infection. Doc gave me amoxicillan and a decongestant. I have still been up 6-8 times a night with hot weather (the weather is HOT!) or sick boys or bright-eyed baby. Tired! But my attitude has been pretty good.

‘Bless me’ prayers and petitions continue.

Dan is still really ‘carrying’ the building, bearing weight of it.

We went out to dinner Friday—we both feel we may be released in the fall to go to Bible School after the building is completed.

I see how God is helping me to be less dependent on Dan and have an easier time making decisions around the house. I am taking more responsibility and not putting it all on him, i.e., weeding, cleaning basement, arranging toys, allowances (spending, saving, tithing), homeschool decisions, etc. I’m complaining less and accepting Dan’s absence more, I’m happier because of the acceptance.

Psalm 57:2 I will cry to God Most High, to God who accomplishes all things for me.

144- Our God is a Redeeming Father

144- Our God is a

Redeeming Father

February 27, 1985

During those midnight hours while walking baby Daniel, I was recalling Jamie Buckingham’s message on KNIS: Find your purpose in God’s eternal plan and go after it and walk in it. You will find it through your ‘cross’ experience! Through pain and trouble!

Jamie’s story: As a pastor he was caught in immorality twice and fired twice. Completely devastated and repentant and broken, he felt led to attend a Guideposts magazine Writers’ Conference. On his second day there he received a challenge to write Nicky Cruz’s story, and co-authored ‘Run Baby Run.’ Millions of copies were sold, and many many people came to the Lord and into the baptism of the Holy Spirit. He wrote 36 books in the next 12 years. That is a redeemed life. That is a Father’s unconditional love.

Remembering this story, dove-tailed with what God was showing me. He did not leave Jamie in a gutter, He directed him into years of active front-line ministry. God did not leave me shattered in a gutter from my own troubles. He already had His plan in motion: In my brokenness, His servant, Jackie (a different Jackie—see blog post #19), took me to her church. In talking to her and reading my Bible I understood His forgiveness and repented. Two years later He directed me to marriage to Dan and then immediately into building our family. My Lord loves me with an unconditional and everlasting love. My Lord is a Redeemer.

Jamie found His purpose. Could they—Dan and Timmy and Stevie and Mark and Daniel –be where I find God’s purpose for me?

136- A Humbling Christmastime Revelation, part 2

136- A Humbling Christmastime Revelation, part 2

December 22, 1984–continued

The realization came to me that Jesus is a King who stepped down from glory for a time and then went back to glory. He spent a few short years on earth despised among men because He hung around with the street people and the bag ladies, the lepers and the sick and the maimed. BUT HE STILL WAS A KING. HE STILL OWNED EVERYTHING AND WAS RICH AND POWERFUL. He left robes and crowns and riches. And He went back to them. He likes power too.

And I AM SEATED WITH HIM IN THE HEAVENLIES. He became flesh and dwelt among us so we could go back to be with Him forever.

So can’t I accept His call for me in this life? It’s temporary, my place in heaven is certain. I’m serving a king who wore a disguise so that I, and everyone, could identify with Him. I did identify with Him at salvation and for a few years, but then I wanted my heritage back.

He’s the King of all kings.

He’s Lord of all.

He’s the Prince of Peace.

And He will live in me as much as I will let Him.

My heart has been cleaned up, Lord Jesus. I see You more clearly. I love You. I have been a hypocrite and I am a hypocrite to change camps now because I see Your riches. But that’s okay.

THY WILL BE DONE TODAY AND EVERY DAY IN THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON. My King. Thank You for enlightening me.

Ephesians 1:7-19 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe.

131- Endure it? Or–Face It and Smash It!

131- Endure It?

Or – Face It and Smash It!

December 12, 1984

2 Corinthians 1:8 we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength…

This is how I feel. Barely able to go on. Everything has overwhelmed me. I am confused and of course guilty-feeling that as a ten year old Christian I cannot cope with my daily life. Bought vitamins today—they will take a few days to take effect. Exercise, very good nutrition, and an acceptance of my condition. I need discipline that I do not of myself possess to keep eating right and walking daily. I am putting my trust in You, Jesus.

*Awesome verse from Susie this morning: Nahum 1:7 The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, and He knows those who trust Him.

December 14

1 Peter 4:6-7 Humble yourselves therefore, under the mighty hand of God that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all our anxiety on Him for He cares for you.

December 15

*from a fortune cookie at Pastor’s ministry dinner last night:

Psalm 37:11 The meek shall inherit the earth and shall delight …in the abundance of peace.

*from the calendar for Friday:

Isaiah 29:19 The meek also shall increase their joy in the Lord, and the poor among men shall rejoice in the Holy One of Israel.

*meek meaning humble

Several days ago I felt drawn to Exodus 34 regarding Moses entreating the Lord on behalf of the children of Israel. I put verses 5-16 up by the sink. As I was reading it, doing the dishes, it occurred to me that the troubles I’ve been having could be in order to drive out the ‘ites’ in me. He says make no covenants. I wonder if saying I have PMS is binding me to it, when I could smash it!

Also, my jaw was aching awfully; sang and prayed the boys’ prayers at bedtime. I was really relieved.

Jenny is troubled very similarly, hormonally. She said it’s spiritual, don’t look for an out. Face God with it. [Although a few months later she went to a PMS clinic in California and received vitamins and hormone therapy.]

120- Following God’s Trail – #2

120 – Following God’s Trail – #2

Jan 17, 1984 – Loan girl called. Things are happening. We need to put the house on the market.

I went to an appointment with the doctor who had delivered all three boys, and Dan came with me. Baby is due mid-June. I called Mom—she is not excited about our possible soon departure.

We have RECEIVED AND BELIEVED the word of the Lord to us that Elim is for us and that there is a place for us to live. By God’s grace we have begun moving in this direction. We have some clothes bags from the church, and I am sorting and packing all the kids’ clothes and setting aside the infant clothes.

God gave me nine double boxes of the type I wanted just as I walked into the store yesterday, and a parking place right by the door. And since I was alone, the kids were not tagging along for the 6 trips to the car! Thank You for REALLY increasing my faith through this experience, Jesus.

Jan 18—doubts came. Then God reminded me of the word through Paul to “apply now.”

Jan 21—Pete from Elim Fellowship called: 1-there is no work at this time in Japan, 2-there is no family there available to take us in (and they had never had a request like that and had never done it before), 3-he asked about Dan’s preaching experience, 4- and if Dan had ministerial papers. (Dan has had scant preaching experience and is not a licensed minister.)

Were we discouraged? NO! Perhaps God wants us to be forerunners because it is such a great idea to live with a Japanese family in order to become familiar with the food, the language, the culture. I do not see 3 or 4 as handicaps.

Jan 23—we received a letter from Elim!! Positive. Waiting for our Germany Bible School transcripts.

Jan 24—we called to get an appraisal appointment for the solar house.

Jan 25 –appraiser was here today! We put it in God’s hands. We have no floor coverings, just area rugs, 1 bathroom is unfinished, there are no baseboards.

Jan 26 –Looking through an envelope of some Japanese keepsakes: a newspaper, a McDonald’s menu from Tokyo, a place mat from a restaurant–and became so aware of the fact of how little I know about the culture. What am I getting into? HELP! Have we really counted the cost?

Jan 28—I panicked over all that had to be done! Prayed over everything for 1½ hours.

Jan 29—Our pastor preached a message that was right on target for us! Visionaries “see” (understand) there is something they can’t yet see that God wants to make happen for them and for Him. He doesn’t move in our time but in our faith. We participate by seeking Him diligently. The Spirit is our resource.

My resources are in the Spirit. Wow! This sure seems to fit.

Marianne from church offered to support us at Bible school!

107- Dan says, Sell All

107- Dan Says, Sell All

June 29, 1983

Dan felt very strongly yesterday that the Lord said clearly to him to sell all and give the money to the poor.

It really is the desire of his heart and has been all his Christian life —to be really sold out to God.

He remembered telling Bill Denney (when we were having marriage counseling), “Georgann’s the only one I know who would ‘sell all’ for God.”

And now I’m faced once again with this reality.

(I gave away most of my possessions to the poor once before: see blog 22.)

It’s a greater step of faith being married with kids to think of taking this step of faith.

My folks would really believe I’d flipped out, although they wouldn’t have to know all the details. That release that Pastor gave on Sunday – chains over the congregation being broken – releasing us from a paranoia of God. It was REAL release. I know God broke something in me and Dan.

Dan said, “We’re still in control, still running our lives. Only when we sell all will we be in the Lord’s control.”

Luke 12:33 Sell what you have and give alms

         34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

and –

Matthew 19:21 Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.

106- Love and Comfort

 106- Love and Comfort

I wanted to title this: Love and comfort coming from fasting, from the Word, from a friend, and from praising God.

But it would have been too long.

June 28, 1983 I’m fasting breakfast and lunch, but I will eat something after devotions-

In reading certain latter chapters in Isaiah, so much comfort comes out. I feel that God wants me to receive it. But how do I know that I can legitimately receive what is written to Israel?

Later, after reading Wycliffe commentary and talking to Dan, I found out: it’s okay to BELIEVE and RECEIVE what was written to Israel!

June 29

I had to STOP READING yesterday. So much love was pouring out I was not able to receive it.

Wycliffe says chapters 40-66 is called, The Volume of Comfort.

June 30

At Homemaking Bible Study we praised God and then prayed for Eva V. She kept looking at me saying she loved me. (Why am I always surprised when people express caring for me?) She is leaving her house—just moving away to follow what she feels is Jesus’ leading. She expects her husband to buy the house, but is not sure! We asked her about how she is always singing and praising so loudly. She said, “In Tulsa the churches praise like that and the Lord comes and people fall over as He sweeps over them. He loves it.”

When we praised the Lord with Eva’s loud singing filling the room, we were all encouraged and filled with joy. We will miss our friend!

104- A Foot Washing

104- A Foot Washing

For several weeks the boys and I had been attending a women’s Bible study with other ladies and their children in our church. The older women arranged it so that babysitting was provided and the moms could have a break to get together around the Bible.

June 24, 1983

We washed each other’s feet at Carla’s Homemaking Bible Study. I washed Lynn’s. Diane washed mine.

Diane loves me. This always surprises me. She really thinks I am wonderful. Possibly the admiration I feel toward Jenny. It is humbling.

Kathy S called today and said that one of the things Diane had prayed for me was for a beautiful crown. Kathy said she had wanted to tell me a couple of weeks ago that she felt that’s what God had for me. (That week, I’m remembering, I had been bellyaching about finances and while God was thinking about me wearing a beautiful crown!)

In my reading this morning:

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

You amaze me, Lord. Thank You—this is written to all who love You. This helps me to want to not complain even more. I am getting a CROWN for the test so why would I bellyache when I could be choosing to walk in the Spirit, which is pleasing to God, to my husband, and to my children.

Romans 8:6-8 For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God…But if the spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, WHICH HE DOES, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His spirit who dwells in you.

I choose life in the Spirit.