107- Dan says, Sell All

107- Dan Says, Sell All

June 29, 1983

Dan felt very strongly yesterday that the Lord said clearly to him to sell all and give the money to the poor.

It really is the desire of his heart and has been all his Christian life —to be really sold out to God.

He remembered telling Bill Denney (when we were having marriage counseling), “Georgann’s the only one I know who would ‘sell all’ for God.”

And now I’m faced once again with this reality.

(I gave away most of my possessions to the poor once before: see blog 22.)

It’s a greater step of faith being married with kids to think of taking this step of faith.

My folks would really believe I’d flipped out, although they wouldn’t have to know all the details. That release Pastor gave on Sunday – chains over the congregation being broken – releasing us from a paranoia of God. It was REAL release. I know God broke something in me and Dan.

Dan said, “We’re still in control, still running our lives. Only when we sell all will we be in the Lord’s control.”

Luke 12:33 Sell what you have and give alms

         34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

and –

Matthew 19:21 Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.

106- Love and Comfort

 106- Love and Comfort

I wanted to title this: Love and comfort coming from fasting, from the Word, from a friend, and from praising God.

But it would have been too long.

June 28, 1983 I’m fasting breakfast and lunch, but I will eat something after devotions-

In reading certain latter chapters in Isaiah, so much comfort comes out. I feel that God wants me to receive it. But how do I know that I can legitimately receive what is written to Israel?

Later after reading Wycliffe commentary and talking to Dan I found out: it’s okay to BELIEVE and RECEIVE what was written to Israel!

June 29

I had to STOP READING yesterday. So much love was pouring out I was not able to receive it.

Wycliffe says chapters 40-66 is called, The Volume of Comfort.

June 30

At Homemaking Bible Study we praised God and then prayed for Eva V. She kept looking at me saying she loved me. (Why am I always surprised when people express caring for me?) She is leaving her house—just moving away to follow what she feels is Jesus’ leading. She expects her husband to buy the house, but is not sure! We asked her about how she is always singing and praising so loudly. She said, “In Tulsa the churches praise like that and the Lord comes and people fall over as He sweeps over them. He loves it.”

When we praised the Lord with Eva’s loud singing filling the room, we were all encouraged and filled with joy. We will miss our friend!

104- A Foot Washing

104- A Foot Washing

For several weeks the boys and I had been attending a women’s Bible study with other ladies and their children in our church. The older women arranged it so that babysitting was provided and the moms could have a break to get together around the Bible.

June 24, 1983

We washed each other’s feet at Carla’s Homemaking Bible Study. I washed Lynn’s. Diane washed mine.

Diane loves me. This always surprises me. She really thinks I am wonderful. Possibly the admiration I feel toward Jenny. It is humbling.

Kathy S called today and said that one of the things Diane had prayed for me was for a beautiful crown. Kathy said she had wanted to tell me a couple of weeks ago that she felt that’s what God had for me. (That week, I’m remembering, I had been bellyaching about finances and He was thinking about me wearing a beautiful crown!)

In my reading this morning:

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

You amaze me, Lord. Thank You—this is written to all who love You. This helps me to want to not complain even more. I am getting a CROWN for the test so why would I bellyache when I could be choosing to walk in the Spirit, which is pleasing to God, to my husband, and to my children.

Romans 8:6-8 For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God…But if the spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, WHICH HE DOES, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His spirit who dwells in you.

I choose life in the Spirit.

103- Cling to Christ – Part III

103- Cling to Christ – Part III

On June 17, 1983 – last week I groaned over my actions and wrote in my journal:

Galatians 4:19 My little children, for whom I labor in birth again until Christ is formed in you—

WOW! that’s it—I want to do this for my own little children—care carefully for them so that Christ will be formed in them!

Proverbs 17:27 He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.

What are my two biggest problems?

*too many words

*a negative, depressive, cast down spirit.

All of this says to me, you’ve got a rotten heart – the flesh nature – I sense the Lord saying:

“Don’t turn to men or put your trust in men in order to build yourself up, to get feedback, or to vent your frustrations!

Look to Me. You can get knowledge and understanding and have the self-control and the joyful spirit you so greatly desire. TRUST WHOLLY IN THE LORD!

Your friend [Jenny] sought Me out for three weeks and received! Let’s go.”

What a great and glorious miracle I am asking for! You met Jenny in her seeking, You will meet me.

Lead, my dear Spirit

96- How God Met Us in Our Time of Need

96- How God Met Us in Our Time of Need

Dan with Tim, Steve, Mark–ages 4, 3, 1 1/2

 March 4, 1983  I also need to see more victory in my relationship with Dan. We are going through a hard time. I am having trouble accepting how busy he is for You. I am sorry. Let me not retaliate in any way, but in loving him more.

March 7, 1983  Saturday we left the boys with Lynn and Danny for 3 hours to have time together. What a blessing it was. We resolved to follow our interest in missions, after laying out our lives afresh and seeing a few areas we could begin moving in. We trust God’s continued leading. We decided to write several missionary groups (so as to “keep moving” in the direction of missions). Dan will contact the bank regarding re-financing so we can get some cash for our necessities. We prayed and relaxed and felt closer. We had needed the time for communication.

Thank you for Anointed for Burial and for the time to read it. This couple, young in the Lord, but totally available, greatly used by your Spirit, breathtakingly. Hallelujah. 

Sunday morning. I prayed about where to sit because I really wanted to worship. We put our things down, but someone took our seats, and the only seats available were even closer to the front! After tears and tears and tears during worship (I had also prayed against self consciousness in worshiping), there was mighty prophecy over Dan—“able to teach clearly” (which is his heart’s desire), “you will give bread to the hungry,” and “you will say God sustained you during this time.”

I wept and wept. We needed to hear from You so much Lord, almost more than we realized, but You knew.

Psalm 7:9…for the righteous God tests the hearts and minds.

Ps 37:3 …trust in the Lord…feed on His faithfulness

        v 19 …in days of famine they shall be satisfied

        v 25 …not begging bread

        v 39 …the salvation of the righteous is from the Lord

                …He is their strength in time of trouble

        v 40 …He shall help them and deliver them…and save them

              because they trust in Him.          

85- Taking a Stand Against Anger

85- Taking a Stand Against Anger

October 5, 1982

Dearest Lord Jesus, I have been experiencing anger, manifesting in impatience and yelling, which has come up during this ‘squeeze’ of me trying to juggle my home life with a part-time job–I’ve gotten into a bad habit.

I have been grieved over this ugly sin of losing control of myself. Satan has made me feel condemned—and, in the twisted way we humans think, I find myself arguing with myself that I am justified in screaming in order to get control of the situation.

But last Sunday morning I missed church, two boys sick. Dan relayed the Pastor’s message to me, and he encouraged me, and we read scripture together.

Dan said he had taken a stand against anger. One day he realized  he’d been enjoying anger and making clear choices to engage in it and decided that was not how he wanted to live—I had to agree with him, his story is my story.

Now, for 2 ½ days I have been experiencing victory in Your precious name, Jesus. I have many times made the conscious willful choice to be joyful, to be loving—and have not fallen into anger.

Tim-Mark-Steve, our wonderful sons-

The boys have been inside the house and ill, so I stopped my life and ministered to them which cut the stress a lot by not trying to do too much housework. Thank You, Jesus. May it please You to continue to give me this resolve to stand against the temptations to fall into anger.

81- Cultivate Faithfulness

81- Cultivate Faithfulness

Just as this man is diligently working his land, I am to steadily put my best effort into keeping the soil of my heart fertile–free of fretting, doubting God’s goodness, envy, and every strife.

August 13, 1982

Psalm 37:1  Fret not yourself because of evildoers, be not envious toward wrong doers.

Proverbs 23:17 Do not let your heart envy sinners, but live in the fear of the Lord.

Psalm 37:3-5  Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight Yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He will do it. 

Conviction:

*I am focusing on imperfect people, rather than on God.

*I am focusing on myself, rather than God.

*I look at others’ prosperity (my parents, my sisters, even other Christians) and then feel unhappy with my own situation.

*I am looking inward, and listening to others say: “Georgann, How do you do it with three kids?” –makes me panic and say to myself: yes—how DO I do it? And also gives me an open door to self pity.

*I get very shakey and tottery looking at these things rather than at God.

Oswald Chambers says: It is impossible for a believer, no matter what his experience, to keep right with God if he will not take the trouble to spend time with God….spend plenty of time with God; let other things go, but don’t neglect Him.

Psalm 37:9 For evildoers will be cut off. But those who wait for the Lord, they will inherit the land.

Strong’s Concordance 6960: wait means to expect, to gather together, to look patiently, tarry.

Lord, help me to wait patiently for you, and to keep my eyes fixed on You through reading my Bible daily and building my faith in You. 

72- Looking Back to the ’80’s from 2017 Vantage Point

72- Looking Back to the 80’s from 2017 Vantage Point

Looking back to another time…

As I (now age 72) am reading my journals for this blog, looking WAY back to another time, they were full of my crying out to the Lord. I was trading my brokenness for His strength. I was overwhelmed in my circumstances and knew that I needed the life of Jesus which was inside me to pour forth out of me in order to cope with the day-to-day, to make sense of everything, to keep me afloat.

I felt earnestly my responsibility of raising our boys carefully so that they would grow up to love the Lord, be strong in their walks with Him, and be prepared for the mission field, should God resume and confirm our call.

I also wanted to please God and please my husband. I had married a man who was a real man: smart, responsible, hard working, mature. He had failed in his first marriage, as had I, and we were both committed to our success as a team. He read and studied his Bible, and lived for God and family. He also adopted the ‘going to church’ mentality, which meant we all went to church together. There were lots of meetings in all the churches in the 1980’s.

Everyone we knew in Life Center Church was there every time the doors were opened, a minimum of Sunday morning, Sunday evening, and also for the Wednesday night home groups. That’s where we worshiped the Lord, that’s where our friendships were. As the boys grew up, their friends were our friends’ kids, friendships that lasted through their teen years, into adulthood, and continuing to this day. Our sons are turning 38, 37, 35, 33 this year. Even though people have moved, they keep in touch through Facebook, etc.

The following are verses that motivated me in my early walk in pursuing Jesus every day and still motivate me today. The thing is, my journals are still full of me pouring my heart out to Him.

You will seek Me and find Me when you search for me with all your heart.

I sought the Lord and He heard me and delivered me from all my fears.

But as for me, I TRUST in You, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in Your hand.

But he who TRUSTS in the Lord, mercy shall surround him.

You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance.

Behold the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, on those who hope in His mercy.

Jeremiah 29:13; Psalm 34:4; Psalm 31:14-15a; Psalm 32:10; Psalm 32:7;Psalm 33:18.

My message is: be glad if you are weak, insecure, not confident—that means that more than other people you will go to Jesus continuously for His strength, for His security, and for His confidence.  And for your daily life you will need His perspective and His ability to persevere in you through your trials. Because you are aware of what you are not–You will be diligently seeking Him and leaning on Him, and you will receive much favor.

Psalm 147:11 The Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love. NIV

Psalm 149:4 For the Lord takes delight in his people; He crowns the humble with victory. NIV

Be glad if you feel that you are untalented, because in time He will unearth gold in you and use you!

Don’t wallow in what you are not. Jesus has everything we need and is the most generous Person I know. He loves to share His life. As He writes blogs and books through me, He gets the credit because I am dialoguing with Him through every paragraph! People will say: “SHE can write?? I never knew it was in her.”

As He sings through you, people will say: “I’ve sat near her in church and she really worships and loves the Lord,” and He gets the credit.

As you become strong in everyone’s sight because you are relying on Jesus for everything, those who know the real you (the insecure you who feels ineffectual and inferior) will be amazed at how the Lord shines through you.

And in all these things, He gets the attention, He gets the glory! And that is really what it is all about.

30- Navigating Gullies and Gulches

30- Navigating Gullies and Gulches

As I consider these events of my life and all of the God stories I have told so far, I am not doing justice to 

the process…

the-processLife has problems continuously. They are called trials, tests, and challenges and they end up as GOD STORIES as I stop and cry out to the Lord and bring Him into the situation. He then has an opportunity to answer me, deliver me, change my heart, hold me tight…whatever I happen to need. Continue reading “30- Navigating Gullies and Gulches”