365 – He Brings It All Into the Light

365 – He Brings It All

Into the Light

August 15, 1989 San Francisco

1 Corinthians 4:5…He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart…

v 7 who makes you different from anyone else? what do you have that you did not receive? and if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?

I feel You are speaking to me, but I need the revelation of the Spirit to understand and to make this specific.

About 15 minutes later, He was specific. In the shower the Lord said through me: “I am not better than my children in God’s eyes.”

The Light dawned. With great joy I kept saying it over and over!

Because…if I think I am better than somebody, I do not mind being rude to him. I do not mind ruling over him or sinning by being uncharitable.

I am crying out for wisdom as to how to become a different person through Christ’s help.

Proverbs 16:21 The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction.

23 A wise man’s heart guides his mouth

24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones

32 Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.

362 – Shook Up

This earthquake was not the big one but it was coming

August 8, 1989 San Francisco

Earthquake! 1:15am, and aftershock. At 9am another earthquake. We went to Auntie Yvonne’s and Grandma Fern’s motel, just to be away from this building.

Dan says this building, Bridgemont, is like the buildings in the Armenian earthquake we saw videos of recently. It is made of reinforced concrete, poured in 1935 and not structurally sound. In a big quake the floors would collapse on top of each other. There are four stories and we are lodged on number two.

We want to move as soon as possible. Anywhere! The only hangup I see is that we need to be where we can home school without stress and trouble. California and Nevada would work.

August 9

We got a letter from the McNeals that is so exciting because they are doing the STUFF of the gospel in Kenya!! Seeing Jesus work MIRACLES!

Last spring, Elim wanted us to go to Hong Kong and pass Bibles and Dan would teach Bible studies. Sounding real good now!

August 10

There has been so much stress because of the earthquakes. At church, I worshiped and fervently sought the Lord, then went forward for prayer. I asked the Lord for a word of wisdom. During the pastor’s message, the Lord said to me:

You can pray for the boys and gently teach them, but you cannot make their arms embrace Jesus or their heads bow to Him.

We read yesterday in Treasures of the Snow, Grandmother encouraged Annette: “you are going to look after little children…they won’t always be good with you. Often you will feel cross and impatient and bad tempered. But the love of Jesus is long suffering and kind; ask Him to meet those cross, bad-tempered thoughts with His love and you’ll find they will leave….If your heart is full of love, there won’t be room for discontent.” pages 236-237

Love suffereth long and is kind; love envieth not;

love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up. 1 Corinthians 13:4

363 – Who Is This Jesus

363 Who is This Jesus?

August 13, 1989 San Francisco

Let the awareness of Your love enter my heart, Jesus. Let the reality of Your love for me, my family, the world, enter my heart.

Hebrews 1:1-9 my take:

Jesus is God’s heir; God made the universe through Him; He is the radiance of God’s glory; He is the exact representation of the Father; He sustains all things by His powerful Word—and isn’t that how He sustains me?!! He provided purification for sins; He sat down at God’s right hand; He became superior to the angels; the angels worship Him by God’s command; His throne will last forever and ever; righteousness is His scepter; He hates wickedness; He has been set up by God over His companions by being anointed by God with the oil of joy.

Through reading Treasures of the Snow the Lord has told me to read about Jesus and keep my heart full of His love. But I felt first God needed to remind me of who Jesus is before I read about what He has done in the gospels.

August 14, 1989

Friends from Reno came for three Giants-Dodgers games. We ate together and swam in their motel pool. They came to church with us in the morning and to part of the evening service. Such an encouragement to have faithful friends. Thank You, Jesus.

361 – Moving Out of Conceit

361 Moving Out of Conceit

August 7, 1989, continued

Give me verses, Jesus, of what my attitude SHOULD BE:

Jeremiah 44:10 humble myself and show reverence to God

Romans 12:3 Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

4-8 use the gifts He has given

9 love must be sincere

10 be devoted to one another in brotherly love; honor one another above yourselves

14 bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse

16 live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud but be willing to associate with people of low position.

And… do not be conceited!

Galatians 5:26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying one another.

Philippians 2:3-5 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather in humility value others better than yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.

1 Peter 5:5b All of you clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

1 Peter 3:8 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.

370 – Crusade Experiences

August 23, 1989 San Francisco

Sense a cleansing and a new beginning. In my mind’s eye I see everything in me and in my life as pure white as snow. Step by Step with my High Priest, My Intercessor, will I walk today, leaving behind the OLD, wrapped up in the new life and encouraged, hopeful, pressing on, filled with the Holy Ghost.

I fully relinquish a critical spirit as part of my personality. It is no longer! If it should come near I will by faith rebuke it—as with all lusts of the eye and flesh. I will be content with what I have knowing My God IS IN control. I will receive WISDOM as I cry out for it today regarding ways of honoring my husband and loving and dealing with our children. I expect God’s provision in all areas. Amen and Hallelujah!

August 25

Mario Murillo Crusade on Wed night, Dan received an infilling of the Spirit as powerful as the first laying on of hands in Reno. He received

Do not grow weary … you will reap! Galatians 6:9

Danny Herd, who was in charge of equipment and organization, said thanks to Dan—that he wished he had ten men like Dan.

The pastor of the church was extremely grateful for Dan and the boys cleaning up each evening before the crusade.

When Dan passed out posters of the Cow Palace Crusade in Hunters Point District, he said he was well received.

Timmy and Markie went forward for the baptism of the Holy Spirit!! Markie said he almost got pushed down by the Spirit, he was swaying back and forth, but didn’t want to fall.

Tim and Markie were prayed for by Caleb Quaye and Tim also was prayed for by Pastor Stewart and Mario Murillo’s wife. Praise God. His jaw is still in place. We will see what the Lord will do.

The Holy Spirit came on me in intercession and in love.

357 Undivided Heart to Honor You

357 – Undivided Heart

to Honor You

August 3, 1989 San Francisco

Psalm 86

verse 1 hear me

v 2 save me

v 3 be merciful

v 4 bring joy to me

Psalm 4:7 You have filled my heart with greater joy –

this means You put joy in me

v 11 teach me Your way

v 11 GIVE ME AN UNDIVIDED HEART that I may fear your name.

reference: Ezekiel 11:19 I will give them an UNDIVIDED HEART and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.

20 Then they will follow My decrees and be careful to keep my laws. They will be my people and I will be their God.

18 remove vile images and detestable gods

reference: 1 Chronicles 12:33 the men of Zebulun experienced soldiers prepared for battle with every type of weapon, to help David—with UNDIVIDED LOYALTY.

reference: 1 Corinthians 7:34-35 But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in UNDIVIDED DEVOTION to the Lord.

Lord, remove pregnancy or every attitude about it that makes it a god in competition for my affections for You.

Lord, don’t take away my husband and children so I can be undivided in devotion to You, but bring us all into a place of unity of purpose—to please You in all things, and fulfill all of Your call for us.

356 – Into My Mind Popped…

356 Into My Mind Popped…

August 2, 1989 San Francisco

I woke up feeling unusual. Am I pregnant? Doubt pushed the thoughts away. I asked God to speak to me today about it—silently, in my heart. A very short time later, on my walk around Bridgemont campus, worshiping, fellowshipping with God, I asked God again to speak to me on this subject. Into my mind popped 1 Thessalonians 2:7 and 1 Thessalonians 5:1!

This is what they say:

1 Thessalonians 2:7 but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children.

1 Thessalonians 5:1-3 Now brothers about times and dates we do not need to write you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.

August 3

Depressed—not pregnant. Why do I want to be?

pure: my heart has been changed by God so that it is now the desire of my heart

truth: yet, hope deferred makes the heart grow sick

flesh: I would be able to justify sleeping more

pride: it would show me and others God’s favor on us

practical: I feel it would be good for the boys to have to become more helpful, independent in the kitchen, and good for Daniel not to be the baby.

I am always surprising myself that I am so real with God and myself.

353 Encouragement from the Holy Spirit

353 – Encouragement from the Holy Spirit

July 17, 1989 San Francisco

Dan and I were always wondering, what’s next? Are we being effective here, is this Your will, or are we to move on?

We were attending the SF Foursquare Church and also Sunday morning Japanese Sunday School. I wrote in my journal that I heard God say during the Japanese teaching: I can earthquake you out of this place and into My will. Our part is to seek Him, cry out, praise, and REST. He will get us where we need to be. This was prophetic, because we—and everybody else—were surprised by a 6.9 earthquake three months later. And we moved!

In the grocery store, observing the throng, I realized: the devil knows whose are his own. He can put thoughts in their hearts to do evil things or think evil things.

We are wise, cautions, praying, watching, avoiding.

I have found GRACE meeting me more and more—to be peaceful, to be wise, to receive from the Lord, to be quiet.

July 19

Helen prayed powerfully for us at church tonight. This is what I remember: The time is ticking away; we need to be involved with Japanese people. We can, better than born-again Japanese Christians, reach certain people for Christ. She prayed that lies and weaknesses and insecurities would be bound and that we would go forth into the relationships the Lord has for us with Japanese people.

Mary exhorted us that only arrogance and pride will refuse to accept Christ’s death as atonement for ANY sin. She gave us Exodus 14The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. Look up!

Deborah encouraged me that the Lord would provide a Japanese housewife to speak for me, that God’s language is agape (love). Agape would be my language and to not worry about it. Dan will learn it and the boys will catch it, and I am not to worry

347 – The Word Refreshes the Weary

347 – The Word Refreshes

the Weary

March 24, 1989

Feeling tired.

Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Reaping sounds like a good promise. I’ll take it.

March 25

God is teaching me faithfulness in the long haul as I keep on track with Him. I am to bear with my sons and come to Him for inspiration, revelation, joy, strength, empowerment of the Holy Spirit.

My goals for the boys:

Philippians 1:9 that your love may bound in knowledge and depth of insight so you are able to discern good and evil and be pure and blameless!

and be filled with the fruit of righteousness!

v 12 my chains (my struggle to stay upbeat, loving, fair, patient & kind) will encourage others.

My exhortation to myself from Philippians: be set on rejoicing!

v 19 It’s all going to work out through the prayers of the saints and the help of the Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit will bring my deliverance (the ability to rise above the circumstances which would pull me down otherwise)

v 20 Paul expects he will not be ashamed through all of his trials and he expects he will have sufficient courage to continue so Christ will be exalted through him.

v 21 Christ is my reason for living. All my life takes on meaning and relevance and purpose because of Christ.

v 25 Paul chooses to keep on so they will progress in the faith

so they will be joyful in growing and advancing. (I see this in my sons, a joy and a camaraderie)

NIV note: Paul puts the needs of those he ministers to ahead of his personal preference. Such an example.

344 – Conflict in the Home Soon Resolved

344 – Conflict in the Home

Soon Resolved

March 4, 1989 Sunday at church

Joyce came up to me: “Are you pregnant? I woke up thinking about you.” She prayed for me.

March 14, 1989 Tim, Steve, and Danny have had Chickenpox for a week. Mark was the first to come down with it and is now well.

Two days late. I opened up my Bible randomly, seeking the Lord.

Isaiah 66:7 Before she goes into labor, she gives birth, before the pains come upon her, she delivers a son.

What are the odds that I would see a verse about birthing?

Dan laughed when I shared all of this: “This is the third month in a row you have thought you were pregnant. I’d rather laugh than take it seriously—of course you may have the last laugh.”

Sting!

This comforted me:

Isaiah 44: 25-26 who overthrows the learning of the wise and turns it into nonsense…who carries out the words of his servants and fulfills the predictions of His messengers.

I had great sorrow from my conversation with Dan. In order to focus on my glorious God, I put my Bible on the counter and kept going back to it, highlighting truth about God, keeping my focus on HIM.

I had a wonderful prayer time with Akiko and Reiko.

Reconciliation with Dan this evening and the next morning he said is excited about the possibility of a pregnancy.

Dan and I are of one mind, waiting on the Lord.

March 15

I had a good prayer time this afternoon. I laid the pregnancy possibility out again before the Lord along with all off the thoughts in my deceitful heart as well as my heart’s desires.

It occurred to me –what if people thought I had fooled around and gotten pregnant, since I have such a checkered past. A verse I memorized years ago jumped out at me:

Proverbs 16:7 When a man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord, He makes even his enemies be at peace with him.

I believe Your word is alive, and that you just spoke to me!

Fear is gone!