156- An Amazing Testimony

156- An Amazing Testimony!

September 24, 1985

Last night our friend Lanny called at 7:00, inviting us to go on an airplane ride the next morning. He had his plane up for sale, and it had surprisingly sold earlier than expected, hence the short notice of taking us on a promised ride. My first reaction: what a wonderful experience. My second reaction: Keith Green’s disastrous experience popped into my brain with –a premonition? a warning? 

Also Lanny said, “It will be a tight squeeze but we can get everyone in.”

Dan’s first reaction when he got home and I told him: DANGER. He left us eating dinner and went into the other room and prayed for 15 minutes. He called Lanny and felt better. He agreed to 7:30 breakfast and plane trip.

I called Joyce for prayer. It was 8:30 pm. I wondered if I should disturb Jenny. I asked God to have her call me if He wanted me to ask for her prayers. Joe (her husband) called immediately! –to talk to Dan, and then I talked to Jenny. Oh what a wonderful Lord you are!!

The next morning God and the baby woke me up at 4:30am. I fumbled around till the thought of the plane ride came to my mind—I was immediately wide awake and praying in the living room. The dream I had two years ago—that Dan died and I was left with a baby boy named Dan, came to my mind. I thought and prayed—and I felt like God’s grace met me!! PEACE.

Debated as to weather or not to tell Dan the dream.

Crawled back into bed. Decided to tell Dan the dream at 7, when the alarm went off. We were due at their house at 7:30 for breakfast. Dan prayed and called and said “no” to the ride. We still went for breakfast.

Stevie cried—disappointed.

Lanny was hurt and upset, but trying to be a good sport. He’d already been to work and had had a terrible start to the day.

As soon as we sat down to eat our eggs—A KEITH GREEN SONG CAME ON THE RADIO!!  Keith Green was a wonderful and very famous Christian musician and singer who overloaded a private plane and crashed with two of his children and another family. All eleven passengers died.

When I got home I picked up an old devotional which I had found last week and one of the boys had carried into the kitchen. I opened to today’s dateActs 16:7 After they had come to Mysia, they tried to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit did not permit them.

This was one of those awesome confirmations of why walking close to Jesus is so important! I love how the entire experience flowed and how real the Holy Spirit was throughout.

Another confirmation for Dan was that later that day while visiting a friend he noticed a plaque on the wall which said, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life!”

This event only caused a slight disruption in our relationship with our friend.

153- Praying Loud and Long!

153- Praying Loud and Long!

July 8, 1985

Pastor Dave gave a great message yesterday on Preparing for Entering into our Promised Land:

         ~keep defining your purpose,

         ~keep it fresh,

         ~keep facing it in faith.

Today my purpose was to get Mark and Daniel their much overdue shots.

Everyone slept till 8 except Steve. He woke up early and had a 30 minute crying spell! I wavered–should I still try to go?

NO–I will not waver! My purpose was so firm, I was determined. 

EVERYTHING WORKED OUT BEAUTIFULLY. We found out once we got there that Steve needed a shot and a polio booster, too. Didn’t tell him. He was first and didn’t even flinch!

Steve and Mark stayed with Dan at the property. Did wonderfully!

Tim and Daniel went with me to SaknSave—did wonderfully!

Miraculous—everyone’s attitude was great!

What Steve’s mysterious fussing pushed me to was long and desperate prayer. Plus I prayed aloud all the way to the Health Dept and then all the way to the store.

Last night we met Dan at the property. We were late, rushed. I prayed loud, long, desperately. It went SO WELL. I even took 9 of the kids on a hike (that’s NOT me!) and organized them for frisbee and catch. JOYFULLY!

Later: I had read an article discussing following God with your whole heart. Which included:

Jeremiah 29:13 And you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.

So I prayed with my whole heart.

Also I’ve been thinking about: If you want to be great in God’s kingdom, learn to be the servant of all.

I prayed accordingly and got my opportunity tonight night with all 4 boys fussing at one point! Dan was at church at the elders’ meeting. He and I got to bed at 11:30, then Dan was up 1:30 and then at 3:00 with boys. I took over till 4:30. We all slept till 6:30 then I walked ½ hour.

Rather than getting mad, rather than trying to sneak away if they seemed settled, only to have to get up again, I prayed for Jesus’ servant heart. I became content, kind, ministered, prayed. I woke up relatively rested and in a good mood! Miracle.

151- God Gave Me His Perspective

151- God Gave Me His Perspective

July 2, 1985

Prayed today that I could cry tears [I don’t cry easily] over the up 6-8 times a night ordeal and really give it to God. I tried to pray tonight. What do I ask? What do I say? So I asked the Spirit to pray.

I was in the midst of getting the boys to bed on this hot summer’s night. Everyone was resisting. Daniel (age 1 ½) wanted to be walked then took his jammies off so he could cool off. Mark and Steve both said: “I’m scared.” Timmy wanted more water—“it’s too hot!”

By 9:20 I’m saying to myself: “they’re taking my life—my whole life!” And I hear –“no, it’s ME taking your whole life—won’t you die so I can have all of it? You are not resisting the boys only (and that makes you feel guilt enough)—you’re resisting ME, You’re Savior.”

I argue—“but what about my monthly letters home—I’m two behind– and thehomeschool library book due in 3 days—I’m only halfway through it (School Can Wait); and Redpath’s book, and the ironing. I could have done all of those tonight! They’re all good things—it’s not like I’m watching dumb tv shows or gabbing on the phone. I just don’t get it!! I’ve already let go of so much.”

Redpath, p 83 (Victorious Christian Living) “Fellow Christian, do not be afraid of the knife. It is in the hand of the lover of your soul, Jesus your Savior. Whatever be the cost…let today be the place of absolute renunciation of everything that the Spirit of God reveals to you is contrary to His will.” (crabbing and having a stinky attitude are not Your will, Lord, I repent!)

        page 84 As you submit, God becomes real. Obey Him.

       page 85 Five minutes in heaven will make all of the suffering and agony real—the suffering and the agony is about the conflict and the battle to do the will of God. Until we get to heaven, God’s purpose is that we should feast on our Lord Jesus. I must enjoy Jesus in my heart before I can tell others about Him.  (I’m not enjoying You, Lord, I’m not rejoicing in all things and having faith that they will settle down eventually.)

       page 86 How much time have you spent with God in quiet, opened Bible, waiting on Him? IN THE QUIET PLACE YOUR WEAKNESS COULD HAVE ABSORBED HIS STRENGTH, your restlessness could have been stilled by His power and peace, your impatience could have absorbed the grace and long-suffering of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Thank you, Alan Redpath, for perspective on my wonderful life and Jesus’ availability.

148- He is My Refuge

148- He is My Refuge

June 7, 1985

We’ve been going to the library and getting lots of picture books each week, like 30-40! Today I had asked God to remind me to get Better Late Than Early about home schooling if it was important for me to read it. He did.

It was not in the card catalog. I went to the stacks anyway to see if it was there. All I could think of was Morris, Robert Morris. I asked God to guide me to the author and HE DID! Even though the author was actually Raymond Moore! And even though the book I was looking for was not there BUT School Can Wait was there. God, it is so special to walk with You.

My day began nervously—over-tired from being up at least 15 times last night. Mark had a fever, Daniel is teething, Dan was sleeping heavily from yesterday’s vasectomy. I stopped to play a tape and praise You and my perspective came. Praise God.

It is so good to praise the Lord!

Tim and Steve helped me weed, Daniel was happy in the walker, Mark rested on the couch.

Psalm 62, Living Bible

I stand silently before the Lord, waiting for him to rescue me. For salvation comes from Him alone. Yes, He alone is my Rock, my rescuer, defense and fortress. Why then should I be tense with fear when troubles come?…My protection and success come from God alone. He is my refuge, a Rock where no enemy can reach me. O my people, trust him all the time. Pour out your longings before Him for He can help! verses 1,2,7,8. My Refuge, I love you!

146- My Stingy Heart Receives JOY

146- My Stingy Heart Receives JOY

March 9, 1985 Dan’s grandmother, Mumbo, had been ill for weeks and eventually was hospitalized. It was my job to ready her house for her return. Here is my report:

Very busy day yesterday. The boys and I went to Mumbo’s, after getting the key from Aug, to turn on the heat and change her bed sheets. Then we went to hear a homeschool pitch (1 ½ hours). Back to our house to pack up some lunch goodies, then off to the hospital. We nibbled at our snacks and the kids played on the sidewalk in the loading zone while Dan was inside for one hour getting her discharged. We took Mumbo to her house and got her settled. No naps today. No Dan. He will spend tonight with his grandmother, alternating with Aug for as long as it takes until she is well. The boys were asleep by 8. I was so angry. I pleaded to God to grant me repentance after many tears and why’s.

I had a hard heart toward Dan’s grandmother for a couple of reasons and had a difficult time interacting with her. I resented the time it took to take care of her. When I cried before the Lord, He changed my heart and —

I WAS FLOODED WITH GRATITUDE, GRATEFULNESS, JOY.

I received an insight that blessed me regarding loving Mumbo: if it were not for her (and some others) there would not be a Daniel Arthur Lemaire.

Mumbo, a few months before her hospitalization, greeting her great grandson Danny.

What a wonderful reason to love her unconditionally and to be kind and do good works for her without expecting appreciation and without getting hung up on being rejected by her. She is part of Dan’s heritage. She had much input into him and he is so wonderful and I am so appreciative.

Led to: Deuteronomy 32:3-4 Moses speaking: For I proclaim the name of the Lord; ascribe greatness to our God! The Rock! His work is perfect, for all His ways are just. A God of faithfulness and without injustice, righteous and upright is He.

I had to cry and be sick of ME and plead. It was worth the entire episode for the peace and joy He gave me. Now if I can just pray earnestly after this without the anger. If I could only LIVE in that place of joy and peace and one-ness with God and man. OH! life would be glorious. 

Grant me, Lord, to GROW UP and not speak the first thought in my head.

140- The Old Birth Control Issue Rises Again

140- The Old Birth Control Issue Rises Again

January 22, 1985

Dear Lord, Do You care if we do something permanent about birth control?  

Dan called to make a vasectomy appointment.

He called back to ask about paying on the installment plan. She told him that $350 was due at the time of the operation. He cancelled the appointment.

I’m not sure if this operation is Your will for us, but it seems to be people’s will for us: we have been given money by Dan’s dad, Danny and Lynn, the Theilmans, and my parents, just not quite enough.

February 17

Because of the nighttime ups and downs with the boys, it seems sensible to say—no more!

March 7

This is the day that the vasectomy appointment was scheduled to be done. I have been praying in the Spirit about this issue. I am struggling: my ingrained Catholic conscience about birth control  interferes with my logic and also it is my desire to not go back on our deal with the Lord that He would plan our family.

June 4

Yesterday I asked God to show me my hearts’ desire about our family. The thoughts came today that I would like a dozen children! But the reality is that I have not the years left, the money, the nervous system for it. The thought also came that God gives us CHOICES: I cannot do everything. I am one person with so much time, money and energy. I would like to teach the boys at home, because I feel so led by God. I love teaching, I am experienced and feel gifted. It would give me input into the boys’ lives now at the time I can really relate to them. Then when the time comes to let them go, I would be more ready for it. I feel like I’ve had so little personal one-on-one time with them. Is this of You, Father? Please speak to me about it. The vasectomy is in 2 days. Bless You.

Thank You for working out praising in me. Let it be…let it continue. Such peace and contentment have come to me these last few days through praise. I refuse to worry and fear: I look not at the messy house and I do not compare myself with Jenny. I praise You that I’m ME and that You are in my life and leading me. It’s just us, living daily here—so who’s there to impress? I’m less uptight, more relaxed. Singing…

June 6 Our little platoon trooped into the waiting room to raised eyebrows, I’m sure– and Dan had the operation… more on this in a few years.

133- Firmly Established Hope

133- Firmly Established Hope

December 18, 1984

The phone just rang—it was Michele with a compassionate heart. Yesterday when I asked Dan about counseling with someone he suggested Carla, but now I’m thinking Michele.

Received a letter from Bruce, in Florida.

Both Michele and Bruce said the same thing: stand on the Word.

Luke 21:33 Heaven and earth will pass away, but MY WORDS will not pass away.

I can depend on God’s word.

1 Corinthians 1:7 and our hope for you is firmly grounded, knowing that as you are sharers of our sufferings you are also sharers of our comfort.

There is HOPE. It is firmly established hope. We have sufferings as Christians, but we also have much comfort: 

1-in Christ  2 Cor 9:8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed

2-in the Holy Spirit – John 14:16 I will pray the Father, and He shall give you another Comforter, that He may abide with you forever.

3in the Father of all mercies, the God of all comfort – Corinthians 1:3  Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort.

I still feel my burdens are far beyond my ability to cope right now.

2 Corinthians 1:8-9 For we…were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead.

There is a reason for these sufferings which are putting our own resources to death. It is so we will not trust in ourselves but in God.

2 Corinthians 1:10 who (God) delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, HE ON WHOM WE HAVE SET OUR HOPE. AND HE WILL YET DELIVER US.

I really was in despair. I was clinging to God the best I knew how, but I was very depressed. At some point during these months that we lived at the Grandview place, I loaded the boys into the car and drove up to the church property and told Dan that I felt completely hopeless and could only see blackness. He said, “It’s the devil. Don’t listen to his lies.” He prayed a quick prayer for me and something awful broke off of me. It had been sucking me into darkness and hopelessness. Jesus said: And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. John 8:32    Praise God, I was free. It was that easy. And that spirit never returned.

127- Following God’s Trail – #9

127- Following God’s Trail – #9

June 12 –My new doctor, I found out, is controversial. Karen’s friend had a bad experience with him. He seemed so nice and cooperative. We made an appointment for Friday induction and delivery, 6:30am.

June 13 –Jackie S offered to take our three boys on Friday!

Finally heard from Life Bible School (missionary organization)—they don’t take a couple that has divorce in their history to Japan. Ps 44:3 is working for us—His FAVOR is moving on our behalf.

For they did not gain possession of the land by their own sword, nor did their own arm save them; but it was Your right hand, Your arm, and the light of Your countenance, because You favored them.

Heard from another Bible School, but we are already taken!

June 14 –FAITHFUL IS HE WHO CALLS YOU, AND HE ALSO WILL BRING IT TO PASS. 1 Thessalonians 5:24 Need I say more?

During this season I was reading: Andrew Murray, Basilea Schlink, Keith & Melodie Green’s Last Days’ Ministries newsletter, Don Basham (Face Up with a Miracle), Dorrie Aldrich (Musings of a Mother),  Alan Redpath (Victorious Christian Living), Oswald Chambers, Bible.

June 15 –At the hospital: Dan and I had the leisure to pray for several hours, as a very kind Christian nurse supervised the induction procedure and increased the pitocin very very slowly. Daniel George [my father is George] was 9 pounds. The idea to deliver early was the right one! And God was gracious to give me ladies to stand with me so that it happened!

Timmy, Stevie, and Mark visited their new brother in the hospital.

Sweet baby Daniel was born with very bowed legs and two hours after he was born his legs were put in casts! [The casts remained on his legs for 6 weeks and his legs turned out perfectly. Praise God for the wonders of medical science and for competent doctors and nurses.]

Peggy took the 3 boys on Monday and brought a roast beef dinner when she brought them home! Karen came every day to do laundry and pick up and wash dishes, to make sure I kept my legs elevated. The doctor was concerned about the veins in my legs and prescribed compression nylons. Gramma and Auntie, who were our next door neighbors, also popped in to help. Susie took the kids on Tues morning, then Lynn came by and took them overnight! Jenny took them on Thursday and Dan was home on Friday. Michelle took the boys two separate days the next week.

We had a strong group of friends and faithful prayer warriors. We knew we were blessed. 

121- Following God’s Trail – #3

121- Following God’s Trail – #3

February 2, 1984 –  Carla had good things to say about Elim.

On KNIS, we were listening to an inspirational story about Duncan Campbell applying for missionary service at age 50. He had a family and the organization was very hesitant. They wanted single men who would serve as itinerant preachers. But it became clear to them that it was God’s will to take Duncan, and that God was expanding their minds. When Duncan was making a major decision that would affect the lives of his family members, God reminded him: He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me in not worthy of Me. Matthew 10:37-38

Boy did that hit me! I have been putting Dan down for doing just that! Thank You, Father, for Your perspective once again. Also, God wants me to assume my full share of this responsibility. He knows me, that I would easily slide and shirk.

February 4 – Connie (my little sister) called and is sad and upset that we are going so far away.

Dan saw a 1970 red Suburban in good shape on a car lot yesterday $3200. But someone else had already made a cash offer. The salesman almost laughed at us. He said our car was worth $100 if it were sold on a car lot. (true) We know God could hold the car for us and also provide the money for us to buy it. We would LOVE to have one of those wonderful stories of His provision.

Mumbo (Dan’s grandmother) is upset with our move and our life choice to preach the gospel.

The people who should be so happy that we are giving ourselves to such an eternally worthwhile endeavor, every one of them is worried, confused, and does not understand at all. Praise You God for the clarity and comfort of Your word. Praise God that Dan and I were in complete agreement about this move.

Feb 5 – Dan went to look at the Suburban again. He called the library and Bluebook on it is only $2660. They are asking $3295.  Thank You, Jesus. The truth will set you free!

The appraisal on our house came out to be $100,000.

Feb 7  – John and Jackie had a couple over to dinner last night that was from NY. They said Lima (where Elim is located) is full of big trees and farm land and it is very green. Hallelujah!

God is using Duncan Campbell’s biography as an evangelist and a faith missionary to answer my long-time prayer for meeting a missionary that we could identify with in preparation for our mission. The people we live around are wonderful, but someone who has turned themselves over so completely and seen God work mightily through their full surrender is the inspiration and counsel we need.

Feb 12—Danny called. They qualified for $89,500 loan. That is $10,500 short of our asking price.  Dan said he still felt peace so I decided not to panic.

Feb 14—Dan called Elim. Admissions lady, Judy, sent Dan’s application to the Committee without the Bodenseehof transcripts. She said she should know this afternoon and would call us.

What if things move fast??

116- God’s Revealed Will For Us

116- God’s Revealed Will

For Us

November 22, 1983

Dan has been heavy and burdened. Today I felt such compassion for the frustrations he was feeling and I asked God to please speak to Dan about His will for us. That evening my best friend’s husband, Paul, came over to get some teaching tapes from us, totally out-of-the-blue, spontaneous, and unusual.

He knew we were reviving our interest in Dan getting more training so that we could get to Japan and fulfill our calling.

He had come primarily because he felt he had a word from the Lord for us:

“there is a family and a house waiting to receive you or in the process of being prepared for you. They will appreciate your strong commitment to the Lord and His work. Love is waiting for your family. The Lord is saying: go north, far north, and do not put off applying the school there. People there are professional, stable, mature.”

Dan took this word to heart and set to work on his application to Elim Bible Institute in upstate New York. We sent it off a few weeks later. He also applied himself to completing the finishing touches to our solar house so we could put it on the market.

Besides our pastor’s sermons and the books we were reading, many visiting speakers to our church fueled our enthusiasm in trusting in Jesus and living our lives full of faith in Him.

Anthony Campolo spoke at our church and we also listened to his messages on the Christian radio station, KNIS. Campolo said:

*it’s okay to be poor if it’s because you’ve given everything away to help others.

*we need to cry over the things God cries over.

*be yielded and surrendered so Jesus can use you.

*Jesus didn’t preach prosperity.

Paul arriving with a word for us on the day I had prayed was remarkable. We had been waiting and praying for a breakthrough and this was it.