355 – The Way of Escape

355 The Way of Escape

July 28, 1989 San Francisco

Poured out my heart to the Lord. I know He knows, but He says in psalms to cry out!

*2 months behind in rent

*Dan’s office, which was switched two months ago, is now needed to be used as a rental, so we are not sure what we will do.

*friend suggested we begin Japanese language study

*desire in our heart is to move to the Sunset District of SF

*our prayer letters are folded, not addressed or notes added

*home school materials are needed for fall

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man, and God is faithful and will provide the way of escape that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

*Gramma and Auntie Yvonne will arrive Saturday and fly out Sunday

*Need nursery coordinator to take my place

*Life Center is in debt, appealing strongly for money

I opened my Bible to search out the Way of Escape:

Nehemiah 12:24 praise and give thanksgiving

27 celebrate joyfully , with songs of thanks

giving and music

31 give thanks

40 give thanks

43 rejoicing because God had given them great joy; the women and children rejoiced. The sound of rejoicing in Jerusalem could be heard far away.

Praise and thanksgiving is God’s way, all the time for all things.

354 – Rejoice Instead

July 26, 1989 San Francisco

I am still obsessed with thoughts of pregnancy. I try to keep relinquishing it to the Lord. The trouble is that I know He is able to perform His will against all physical impediments. And I love miracles. And besides, every other day there is something to draw my attention to it. Today Mr. Rogers said—Oh, sometimes ladies feel wonderful when they’re pregnant, better than normal! So my mind turns that way. And I have friends who have the baby yearnings, also.

The boys had an autobiography of John Newton. Some of this is quoted, some is paraphrased.

Through ignorance and unbelief we often mistake the Lord’s dealings with us, and are ready to complain. If we knew all, we would rejoice instead! When our eye is fixed upon the Lord, we are more than conquerors over all that would withstand our progress.

Looking back, I see that mercy and goodness directed every step.

What our ignorance once called adversities and evils, were in reality blessings which we could not have done well without. Nothing befell us without a cause; no trouble came upon us sooner or pressed down more heavily or continued longer than our case required. Our many afflictions were, each in their place, among the means employed by divine grace and wisdom to bring us to the possession of that exceeding and eternal weight of glory which the Lord has prepared for His people.

Interesting. Be a rejoicing person. Be prayerful.

353 Encouragement from the Holy Spirit

353 – Encouragement from the Holy Spirit

July 17, 1989 San Francisco

Dan and I were always wondering, what’s next? Are we being effective here, is this Your will, or are we to move on?

We were attending the SF Foursquare Church and also Sunday morning Japanese Sunday School. I wrote in my journal that I heard God say during the Japanese teaching: I can earthquake you out of this place and into My will. Our part is to seek Him, cry out, praise, and REST. He will get us where we need to be. This was prophetic, because we—and everybody else—were surprised by a 6.9 earthquake three months later. And we moved!

In the grocery store, observing the throng, I realized: the devil knows whose are his own. He can put thoughts in their hearts to do evil things or think evil things.

We are wise, cautions, praying, watching, avoiding.

I have found GRACE meeting me more and more—to be peaceful, to be wise, to receive from the Lord, to be quiet.

July 19

Helen prayed powerfully for us at church tonight. This is what I remember: The time is ticking away; we need to be involved with Japanese people. We can, better than born-again Japanese Christians, reach certain people for Christ. She prayed that lies and weaknesses and insecurities would be bound and that we would go forth into the relationships the Lord has for us with Japanese people.

Mary exhorted us that only arrogance and pride will refuse to accept Christ’s death as atonement for ANY sin. She gave us Exodus 14The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. Look up!

Deborah encouraged me that the Lord would provide a Japanese housewife to speak for me, that God’s language is agape (love). Agape would be my language and to not worry about it. Dan will learn it and the boys will catch it, and I am not to worry

352 – Comfortable Routines

April 18 1989 San Francisco

I looked around at our very little living room approvingly after breakfast this morning. We like it here, at Bridgemont, in this little apartment. It’s comfortable, we have routines. I’m walking every day, Dan can do his drafting in the room down the hall. The boys can run down to the Red Room and play and not bother anyone, the pool is always available, though a bit of a hike. Neighbors come and go, meaning they move in and move out fairly often, but there’s a good feeling among us and camaraderie happens easily when new tenants arrive.

Again, we began seriously to call on Jesus for success in our attitude and perseverance about home school. As a result, the kids are more cooperative and less complaining, and I am more organized and patient, and more confident that they are really learning something.

But my hope, my fulfillment, my satisfaction, are in Christ my Lord. For me to live successfully, peacefully, fulfilled, is all Christ. If I slide in my persistent seeking of Him and skip my Bible reading, my focus shifts and I’m in agitation and insecurities.

My journal notes are Bible verses and notes, enough to keep me going, but nothing stunning to write here about. I was re-reading Hannah Whitall Smith’s book, The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life. We had many good friends from church and we were very busy with home group, potlucks, following Giants and A’s baseball games with Bill.

We went to Reno for the wedding of one of Dan’s friends. We had overnight guests.

There is no diary of other family activities until July 6.

July 6

Last night after church the car would not start. Deborah and Cathy walked home from church and we took the bus. A bit of adventure doing it at night! We arrived home at 10:40pm. The boys were not able to attend a friend’s overnight backyard campout. They were very good sports about it.

351- Prayer and Support

351 – Prayer and Support

April 3, 1989 Monday

Prayed believing prayers & verses. Still uptight. Everything is difficult!

In the afternoon I picked up Dennis Bennett’s book, 9:00 in the Morning, which Linda lent us. It is the story of his baptism in the Holy Spirit. Cried. Began praying in tongues.

Everything lifted. I became a changed person.

Till later… when I focused on the house mess. We have extra furniture from Deborah, clothes from Beth—aaaaaa! This place is too small for all of this!! Began praying in tongues again.

Yesterday I really looked at the boys’ Sunday schedule and marveled.

Sunday morning they have Sunday School – I teach Daniel, Dan teaches Mark and Stevie. There are no other students. Timmy goes with Helen’s class. Then the kids sit through the worship and teaching of the main service.

We go home for lunch and are back at the church at 4:30 for a meeting, then service at 6. There is no planned activity for them, yet they are amazingly content. Supernaturally content. God, you are supremely gracious as we go through these things.

April 5 – my 44^th birthday

God came through via Karen! She sent $50! We all went out to pizza!! Thank You so much, Jesus!

April 6

Victorious day!! Got prayer from Dan and good support from God!

350 – A Grisly Vision

April 3, 1989 San Francisco

Awakened wide awake at 4am.

What Lord?

Abortion March.

Oh, God, please change their hearts!

– IN A FLASH I SAW: skeletons walking with clothes on.

Oh, Lord, they don’t have hearts if they’re skeletons!

I knew it was DEATH – they are in the power of the spirit of DEATH.

Bind the strongman. They are in its power. It is controlling them.

This was a vision with a profound revelation. I saw skeletons with loose clothes on. The people were completely deceived by this spirit.

They were choosing death rather than life.

They were choosing death to the baby, rather than life to the baby.

And at times it would mean death to the mother also. The enemy does not care who dies.

If the mother did not die, she would at some point be in torment over what she had done.

People have seen visions of all of the aborted babies in heaven, whole and complete, happy, waiting for their mothers and fathers.

And of course this is all under the blood of Jesus: the doctors, nurses, moms and dads, need only to turn to Jesus for full restoration. And go to counseling if they cannot get set free. I certainly forgive them all. I was on the verge of walking through this myself when I was 23, and would have, but I was not pregnant after all.

349 – Lots of Encouragement

April 2, 1989 Sunday

I went forward for prayer for homeschool—that I could be Christ-like in it. We were instructed by Joyce to let God speak to us on the issue we had brought forth. I am not always trusting to do this, but took a risk and said, “okay, God—please speak!” In rapid succession, these verses popped into my mind:

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me; My grace is sufficient for thee–for My strength is made perfect in weakness; whether you turn to the right or to the left, you will hear a voice behind you saying this is the way, walk in it.*

WOW He spoke completely by His Word!

I confided to Joyce that I had been up and down on this issue many times. She said very emphatically, “That sounds like doubt.” And it was.

Before the night meeting started, Joyce said she had prayed about our homeschooling (it was still something that few people did in 1989, and not everyone believed it was a good idea), and she felt the Lord had said: “The boys are at home because the constant change of friends and schools would end up being too traumatic over time. So He’s covering the bases.”

Dan prayed for a man who was a newcomer, and then the man prayed for Dan. He prayed that Dan would bring in the harvest, many souls, that we would go overseas, that our whole family would be involved in bringing people to the Lord. PRAISE GOD! The man himself was surprised at his own prayer! Dan wept.

Thank You for all of the encouragement, Lord.

*Philippians 4:13; 2 Corinthians 12:9; Isaiah 30:21.

348 – Completely Healed

BlogZZ 348 – Completely Healed

April 1, 1989 Saturday

My upper leg began hurting two days ago. Extremely painful yesterday. Then I hurt my ankle when a heavy door slammed on it last night. Dan and the boys had already planned a fishing trip for this morning, so I was looking forward to resting.

Daniel, age 5, stayed home because of a bad cold. We slept till 8, and he stayed tucked in his little sleeping bag in the living room even longer, bless his heart. I read him stories then he got his own Frosty Flakes that my mom had sent—feeling very grown up.

Dan and the boys came home at noon as planned. Dan had promised he’d make French toast and he did.

Surprisingly Timmy, Mark, and Daniel slept from 2:30-5:30. Stevie slept 1 hour, which was great for him. (The fishermen had gotten up very early.)

Dan suggested I continue to stay in bed. I wanted to write some letters and it felt good just to rest. I felt very content but did not want to receive ‘the affliction’ as my own! Even then I believed Jesus is the Healer.

I planned my Sunday School lesson, and I was up and down. The pain had not lessened at all—staying in bed had just caused me to experience less of it.

April 2

I woke up and still was not feeling good—but as I got going, I realized I was COMPLETELY HEALED!

And I remembered: as I had been in bed on Saturday, I had looked up a verse for the boys to memorize in the Good News Bible: Hebrews 11:1. I had realized I sure didn’t have much faith, but I had decided to pray believing prayers—I believe You can and will heal me. I believe You will encourage us all at church tomorrow. AND GOD WORKED!!

To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1

347 – The Word Refreshes the Weary

347 – The Word Refreshes

the Weary

March 24, 1989

Feeling tired.

Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Reaping sounds like a good promise. I’ll take it.

March 25

God is teaching me faithfulness in the long haul as I keep on track with Him. I am to bear with my sons and come to Him for inspiration, revelation, joy, strength, empowerment of the Holy Spirit.

My goals for the boys:

Philippians 1:9 that your love may bound in knowledge and depth of insight so you are able to discern good and evil and be pure and blameless!

and be filled with the fruit of righteousness!

v 12 my chains (my struggle to stay upbeat, loving, fair, patient & kind) will encourage others.

My exhortation to myself from Philippians: be set on rejoicing!

v 19 It’s all going to work out through the prayers of the saints and the help of the Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit will bring my deliverance (the ability to rise above the circumstances which would pull me down otherwise)

v 20 Paul expects he will not be ashamed through all of his trials and he expects he will have sufficient courage to continue so Christ will be exalted through him.

v 21 Christ is my reason for living. All my life takes on meaning and relevance and purpose because of Christ.

v 25 Paul chooses to keep on so they will progress in the faith

so they will be joyful in growing and advancing. (I see this in my sons, a joy and a camaraderie)

NIV note: Paul puts the needs of those he ministers to ahead of his personal preference. Such an example.

346 – Identifying with Much-Afraid*

346 – Identifying with

Much-Afraid*

March 19, 1989 Sunday morning

I was led to read Psalm 128:3-4 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Yes, this will be the blessing for the man who fears the LORD.

Later reading Babar, a children’s book, to the kids: triplets were born! that causes my heart to skip.

March 20

Calling out to the Lord, as Much Afraid*, putting my hope in HIM.

March 21

Middle of the night, very nauseous.

Lay real still.

Cautious this a.m.

Rich food last night.

As I come to my Lord this morning I am NOT going to try to do this myself and be tough!

HELP SHEPHERD!

Let us get a pregnancy test. Let the truth, yea or nay, be known before we travel to Oxnard. I’m not going to try doing this on my own without YOU. I’m falling upon my precious Savior, BELIEVING You will SAVE ME and be a blessed Redeemer today for us all. I lay down my self will and accept your will, in abandonment, fully trusting You.

March 22 Up early to pray and humble myself before the Lord.

Humble yourselves–feeling very insignificant–in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.–He will lift you up and make your lives significant. James 4:10 Amplified

The squeeze of my family’s questionings and probing always concerns me before I go to visit them–and I see acutely the need I have for strength to stand in faith because I am so weak.

Habakkuk 3:17-18 Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.

NIV notes: Habakkuk has learned the lesson of faith—to trust God’s providence regardless of circumstances. He declares that even if God should send suffering and loss, he would still rejoice in His Savior God—one of the strongest affirmations of faith in all scripture.

v. 19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to tread on the heights.

NIV notes: He gives me sure-footed confidence.

You always meet me, Jesus, You always come to me in a way I can understand.

*Much-Afraid is the protagonist in Hannah Hurnard’s bestselling book Hinds’ Feet on High Places, an allegory published in 1955. Much-Afraid finds comfort and understanding and a new kind of accepting love from the Shepherd. She desires only to please Him and always turns to Him for advice. Her greatest joy is in serving Him. I identified with her and her relationship with Jesus on her spiritual journey.