351- Prayer and Support

351 – Prayer and Support

April 3, 1989 Monday

Prayed believing prayers & verses. Still uptight. Everything is difficult!

In the afternoon I picked up Dennis Bennett’s book, 9:00 in the Morning, which Linda lent us. It is the story of his baptism in the Holy Spirit. Cried. Began praying in tongues.

Everything lifted. I became a changed person.

Till later… when I focused on the house mess. We have extra furniture from Deborah, clothes from Beth—aaaaaa! This place is too small for all of this!! Began praying in tongues again.

Yesterday I really looked at the boys’ Sunday schedule and marveled.

Sunday morning they have Sunday School – I teach Daniel, Dan teaches Mark and Stevie. There are no other students. Timmy goes with Helen’s class. Then the kids sit through the worship and teaching of the main service.

We go home for lunch and are back at the church at 4:30 for a meeting, then service at 6. There is no planned activity for them, yet they are amazingly content. Supernaturally content. God, you are supremely gracious as we go through these things.

April 5 – my 44th birthday

God came through via Karen! She sent $50! We all went out to pizza!! Thank You so much, Jesus!

April 6

Victorious day!! Got prayer from Dan and good support from God!

350 – A Grisly Vision

350 – A Grisly Vision

April 3, 1989 San Francisco

Awakened wide awake at 4am.

What Lord?

Abortion March.

Oh, God, please change their hearts!

– IN A FLASH I SAW: skeletons walking with clothes on.

Oh, Lord, they don’t have hearts if they’re skeletons!

I knew it was DEATH – they are in the power of the spirit of DEATH.

Bind the strongman. They are in its power. It is controlling them.

This was a vision with a profound revelation. I saw skeletons with loose clothes on. The people were completely deceived by this spirit.

They were choosing death rather than life.

They were choosing death to the baby, rather than life to the baby.

And at times it would mean death to the mother also. The enemy does not care who dies.

If the mother did not die, she would at some point be in torment over what she had done.

People have seen visions of all of the aborted babies in heaven, whole and complete, happy, waiting for their mothers and fathers.

And of course this is all under the blood of Jesus: the doctors, nurses, moms and dads, need only to turn to Jesus for full restoration. And go to counseling if they cannot get set free. I certainly forgive them all. I was on the verge of walking through this myself when I was 23, and would have, but I was not pregnant after all.

349 – Lots of Encouragement

349 – Lots of Encouragement

April 2, 1989 Sunday

I went forward for prayer for homeschool—that I could be Christ-like in it. We were instructed by Joyce to let God speak to us on the issue we had brought forth. I am not always trusting  to do this, but took a risk and said, “okay, God—please speak!” In rapid succession, these verses popped into my mind:

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me; My grace is sufficient for thee–for My strength is made perfect in weakness; whether you turn to the right or to the left, you will hear a voice behind you saying this is the way, walk in it.*

WOW He spoke completely by His Word!

I confided to Joyce that I had been up and down on this issue many times. She said very emphatically, “That sounds like doubt.” And it was.

Before the night meeting started, Joyce said she had prayed about our homeschooling (it was still something that few people did in 1989, and not everyone believed it was a good idea), and she felt the Lord had said: “The boys are at home because the constant change of friends and schools would end up being too traumatic over time. So He’s covering the bases.”

Dan prayed for a man who was a newcomer, and then the man prayed for Dan. He prayed that Dan would bring in the harvest, many souls, that we would go overseas, that our whole family would be involved in bringing people to the Lord. PRAISE GOD! The man himself was surprised at his own prayer! Dan wept.

Thank You for all of the encouragement, Lord.

*Philippians 4:13; 2 Corinthians 12:9; Isaiah 30:21.

348 – Completely Healed

BlogZZ 348 – Completely Healed

April 1, 1989 Saturday

My upper leg began hurting two days ago. Extremely painful yesterday. Then I hurt my ankle when a heavy door slammed on it last night. Dan and the boys had already planned a fishing trip for this morning, so I was looking forward to resting.

Daniel, age 5, stayed home because of a bad cold. We slept till 8, and he stayed tucked in his little sleeping bag in the living room even longer, bless his heart. I read him stories then he got his own Frosty Flakes that my mom had sent—feeling very grown up.

Dan and the boys came home at noon as planned. Dan had promised he’d make French toast and he did.

Surprisingly Timmy, Mark, and Daniel slept from 2:30-5:30. Stevie slept 1 hour, which was great for him. (The fishermen had gotten up very early.)

Dan suggested I continue to stay in bed. I wanted to write some letters and it felt good just to rest. I felt very content but did not want to receive ‘the affliction’ as my own! Even then I believed Jesus is the Healer.

I planned my Sunday School lesson, and I was up and down. The pain had not lessened at all—staying in bed had just caused me to experience less of it.

April 2

I woke up and still was not feeling good—but as I got going, I realized I was COMPLETELY HEALED!

And I remembered: as I had been in bed on Saturday, I had looked up a verse for the boys to memorize in the Good News Bible: Hebrews 11:1. I had realized I sure didn’t have much faith, but I had decided to pray believing prayers—I believe You can and will heal me. I believe You will encourage us all at church tomorrow. AND GOD WORKED!!

To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1 

 

 

347 – The Word Refreshes the Weary

347 – The Word Refreshes

the Weary

March 24, 1989

Feeling tired.

Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Reaping sounds like a good promise. I’ll take it.

March 25

God is teaching me faithfulness in the long haul as I keep on track with Him. I am to bear with my sons and come to Him for inspiration, revelation, joy, strength, empowerment of the Holy Spirit.

My goals for the boys:

Philippians 1:9 that your love may bound in knowledge and depth of insight so you are able to discern good and evil and be pure and blameless!

and be filled with the fruit of righteousness!

v 12 my chains (my struggle to stay upbeat, loving, fair, patient & kind) will encourage others.

My exhortation to myself from Philippians: be set on rejoicing!

v 19 It’s all going to work out through the prayers of the saints and the help of the Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit will bring my deliverance (the ability to rise above the circumstances which would pull me down otherwise)

v 20 Paul expects he will not be ashamed through all of his trials and he expects he will have sufficient courage to continue so Christ will be exalted through him.

v 21 Christ is my reason for living. All my life takes on meaning and relevance and purpose because of Christ.

v 25 Paul chooses to keep on so they will progress in the faith

so they will be joyful in growing and advancing.  (I see this in my sons, a joy and a camaraderie)

NIV note: Paul puts the needs of those he ministers to ahead of his personal preference. Such an example.

 

346 – Identifying with Much-Afraid*

346 – Identifying with

Much-Afraid*

March 19, 1989 Sunday morning

I was led to read Psalm 128:3-4 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Yes, this will be the blessing for the man who fears the LORD.

Later reading Babar, a children’s book, to the kids: triplets were born! that causes my heart to skip.

March 20

Calling out to the Lord, as Much Afraid*, putting my hope in HIM.

March 21

Middle of the night, very nauseous.

Lay real still.

Cautious this a.m.

Rich food last night.

As I come to my Lord this morning I am NOT going to try to do this myself and be tough!

HELP SHEPHERD!

Let us get a pregnancy test. Let the truth, yea or nay, be known before we travel to Oxnard. I’m not going to try doing this on my own without YOU. I’m falling upon my precious Savior, BELIEVING You will SAVE ME and be a blessed Redeemer today for us all. I lay down my self will and accept your will, in  abandonment, fully trusting You. 

March 22 Up early to pray and humble myself before the Lord.

Humble yourselves–feeling very insignificant–in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.–He will lift you up and make your lives significant. James 4:10 Amplified

The squeeze of my family’s questionings and probing always concerns me before I go to visit them–and I see acutely the need I have for strength to stand in faith because I am so weak.

Habakkuk 3:17-18 Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.

NIV notes: Habakkuk has learned the lesson of faith—to trust God’s providence regardless of circumstances. He declares that even if God should send suffering and loss, he would still rejoice in His Savior God—one of the strongest affirmations of faith in all scripture.

v. 19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to tread on the heights.

NIV notes: He gives me sure-footed confidence.

You always meet me, Jesus, You always come to me in a way I can understand.

*Much-Afraid is the protagonist in Hannah Hurnard’s bestselling book Hinds’ Feet on High Places, an allegory published in 1955. Much-Afraid finds comfort and understanding and a new kind of accepting love from the Shepherd. She desires only to please Him and always turns to Him for advice. Her greatest joy is in serving Him. I identified with her and her relationship with Jesus on her spiritual journey.

345 – My Faith Gets Shaken

345 – My Faith Gets Shaken

March 16, 1989

One night, ten years ago, when we were attending Bible school in Germany and I was anxious about the well being of my baby in the womb, and I was crying out to God, He gave me this verse. It is a precious promise that the children I bear are blessed by God.

Praise the Lord, O Jerusalem!
Praise your God, O Zion!
For He has strengthened the bars of your gates;
He has blessed your sons within you.
He makes peace in your borders;
He satisfies you with the finest of the wheat. Psalm 147:12-14

March 17, 1989

4am awakened with a distressing physical symptom.

Confused. If I cannot believe that all of the way we’ve come in this baby issue was Your leading –how can I believe You about Your leading to homeschool, Your leading that we are going to Japan….

Will I now have to question everything else that we are doing by faith?

Back to bed.

Felt waves of comfort and grace!

Dan was compassionate. He quoted:

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all. Psalm 34:18-19

Dan came in later and said, “In some way that only God can do, this whole experience you are having is going to confirm our calling.”

I talked to God.

Dan said, rest and pray in the Spirit all day, not in words that could express doubt and fear.

So I began my day expecting Jesus to be very near to me and very real. Bless You, Savior.

The thought also came to me: to have another baby is not a selfish desire of mine—that is a lie. To have been home already for ten years and if I had another baby, it would add five more years to the tail end of that. I know myself well enough that I know I would not choose that. Yet, if a baby is God’s will for us, I would gladly do this for Him, for His will, for His plan.

This lifted me also, encouraged me. It is the will of the Lord I am seeking. Yes, my heart is pure about this.

344 – Conflict in the Home Soon Resolved

344 – Conflict in the Home

Soon Resolved

March 4, 1989 Sunday at church

Joyce came up to me: “Are you pregnant? I woke up thinking about you.” She prayed for me.

March 14, 1989  Tim, Steve, and Danny have had Chickenpox for a week. Mark was the first to come down with it and is now well.

Two days late. I opened up my Bible randomly, seeking the Lord.

Isaiah 66:7 Before she goes into labor, she gives birth, before the pains come upon her, she delivers a son.            

What are the odds that I would see a verse about birthing?

Dan laughed when I shared all of this: “This is the third month in a row you have thought you were pregnant. I’d rather laugh than take it seriously—of course you may have the last laugh.”

Sting!

This comforted me:

Isaiah 44: 25-26 who overthrows the learning of the wise and turns it into nonsense…who carries out the words of his servants and fulfills the predictions of His messengers.

I had great sorrow from my conversation with Dan. In order to focus on my glorious God, I put my Bible on the counter and kept going back to it, highlighting truth about God, keeping my focus on HIM.

I had a wonderful prayer time with Akiko and Reiko.

Reconciliation with Dan this evening and the next morning he said is excited about the possibility of a pregnancy.

Dan and I are of one mind, waiting on the Lord.

March 15

I had a good prayer time this afternoon. I laid the pregnancy possibility out again before the Lord along with all off the thoughts in my deceitful heart as well as my heart’s desires.

It occurred to me –what if people thought I had fooled around and gotten pregnant, since I have such a checkered past. A verse I memorized years ago jumped out at me:

Proverbs 16:7 When a man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord, He makes even his enemies be at peace with him.

I believe Your word is alive, and that you just spoke to me!

Fear is gone!

343 – Baby Yearnings

343 – Baby Yearnings

February 16, 1989

New friend, Mary, down the hall from us. Mary’s mother-in-law is visiting: she said that in her family, four boys were born then her. 

Of course I thought of our four sons and then a girl being added!

February 17

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father to who be glory forever and ever. Amen. Galatians 1:3-5

Realization and praise for what Christ has done. Determination in the Spirit to go forth in praises—and not be overcome by sickness or sin or insecurities.

For two hours I cared for Mary’s baby twin boys, Ambrose and Austin, while she counseled her brother on the phone. Prayed in support of her. Our boys were in and out, up and down the deserted hall, back and forth from her place to ours.

February 18

This morning Dan and I prayed. And later I realized how disappointed I am that I am not pregnant. I called out for God’s comfort. Disappointed that my womb is empty, but ALSO that I misinterpreted God again. But God began to minister to me.

I NOW KNOW what countless women experience who greatly desire children of their own, looking every month for signs of pregnancy. Praise the Lord.

Instantly I understood too that this is preparation for CARING FOR other’s babies.

Jan (back in Reno) took in three homeless children. Dan and I can take care of babies of women who are not aborting or provide temporary care. It would be a blessing for our whole family, Lord. You turned my mourning into JOY and DANCING! Also I realized: I never experienced this yearning before. Our sons came so fast that I never had time to yearn!

Unfortunately I did not hold fast to this position of this being about caring for other people’s babies, which would have been CORRECT!! Because that is what we eventually did. INSTEAD, for two more years I wondered every month if I was pregnant. My poor husband!