257 – More Time with My Boys

257 – More Time

with My Boys

February 4, 1987

I woke up at 2:30am concerned about Stevie, feeling I’m so busy I don’t just sit and listen and play with him and his brothers. I had a few ideas on how to help each of them: an old idea that each boy could get a turn to go alone with Dan , then with me the next time, to the diner down the street, for a milkshake or something. Walk, hold hands, chat.

also: I could ask Carleen if I could bring one boy at a time to spend the morning with her boys while I am at class at Elim.

also: skip a homeschool subject once in a while to play a game with one boy.

May God help me. Why do I know He will? He always does.

Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. Psalm 37:5

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Psalm 37:23

255 – He Must Prune Me

255 – He Must Prune Me

January 24, 1987

By God’s wonderful and bountiful grace, I was 1 ½ hours in prayer from 5-6:30am.

This seems crystal clear:

John 15:2 Every branch that does not bear fruit He takes away – anger, selfishness, egocentricity – and every branch that bears fruit He prunes it that it may bear more fruit,

I see that my ministry with children (in public school) bore fruit—but all of these succeeding years have been a pruning process to get me out of me and into Him so that MORE fruit can come to His glory and honor and use.

Although today he prunes my twigs with pain,

Yet doth his blood nourish and warm my root:

Tomorrow I shall put forth buds again

and clothe myself with fruit.      -Christina Rosetti

249 – There is Payoff for Praying in Tongues

249 – There is Payoff for Praying in Tongues

December 30, 1986

These verses blessed me:

Luke 24

     v 16 But their eyes were PREVENTED from recognizing Him

     v 31 And their eyes were OPENED and they recognized Him   

     v 45 Then He OPENED their minds to understand the scriptures.

God was in charge of what they perceived.

I believe I can pray and ask Him to let my eyes recognize Him and to let my mind understand the scriptures. I know I need inspiration and revelation.

It occurred to me this morning that after I had listened to the Gloria Copeland tapes and had begun praying in the Spirit in the early morning for an hour, one Saturday morning very early Carol K, an older woman in our church, called. She had never called me. She offered to give me a ride to the Ladies’ Meeting at church. I had been feeling hesitant about going, but had turned it over to God. But God had prepared me for her call because her name had come clearly to my mind a short time earlier.

THERE IS PAYOFF IN MAKING THE SACRIFICE TO DO DEVOTIONS REGULARLY AND LONG.

THERE IS PAYOFF IN PRAYING IN TONGUES FOR ONE HOUR IN THE MORNING.

OH GOD. LET YOUR SPIRIT RULE IN MY SPIRIT IN THIS SO I WILL DENY THE SLEEPY, LAZY, STRONG FLESH AND GET UP!

v 49 And behold, I am sending forth the promise of My Father upon you; but you are to stay in the city until you are clothed in power from on high.

The promise was the Holy Spirit and the gift of tongues.

248 – His Death for Me

248 – His Death for Me

December 28, 1986

Jesus said to the disciples when He asked them to pray about what was ahead:

Pray that you may not enter into temptation. Luke 22:40

And again He said: Why are you sleeping? Rise and pray that you may not enter into temptation. v 46

I confess sleeping instead of praying all to often, Lord. I repent. Bring the grace and strength I need, PLEASE. Be faithful to Yourself because You live in me!

A couple of days ago as I was reviewing Galatians 2:20:

I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

A scenario popped into my mind that God was leading me on a journey—it was me walking The Way of the Cross. I was taking accusations that I deserved, taking beatings that I deserved because of sin in my life; people in the crowd were jeering from hatefulness—real people with faces—representing those whom I had spoken idle words against or had wounded or had ‘killed’ with gossip or accusations. They put the crown on me and laughed. They wounded me and pushed me and made me carry the cross—and made me get up on it—and I DESERVED to be on it.

Yet it was only like a dream because My Savior went in my place and took all of this FOR ME so I do not have to take it. I get the benefits of His substitutionary death.

In return, I give You my life to use as You see fit.

247 – God Encouraged Me

247 – God Encouraged Me

December 27, 1986 Saturday

Oh! I just remembered:

After Karen had finished the pep talk on Christmas day, she talked about their Christmas gathering. A young man was there who is the third of six boys in a missionary family that had lived in China during his growing up years. She asked him how his mom had done raising them and if he had any advice she could share with me.

He said he knew it was hard for his mom to raise six sons, especially because her husband was gone A LOT and the responsibility was mainly hers. But she, LEANED ON THE LORD.

He said those years in China were the best in his life and that it is excellent experience for kids to grow up in a foreign country like that.

I had been asking God the last two weeks to tell me ANYTHING I needed to know about anything at all, because everything has been so difficult.

So He encouraged has me about:

*leaning on Him

*kids loving the overseas life

*ridding us of grumbling and complaining

*advised us of the spiritual attack and creepy spirits hanging around that we were to evict in Jesus’ name.

BLESS JESUS CHRIST!

BLESS OUR LORD!

GLORY TO GOD!

He also encouraged me by:

*having Dan home recently

*having Dan share the burden of the boys’ behavior

*letting me purchase plastic containers

*giving me time to organize and a clear head to do it today.

BLESS OUR GOD!!

246 – Repenting of a Bad Attitude

246 – Repenting of a Bad Attitude

December 27, 1986

Much repenting of my bad bad attitude, and still more to do.

I had three calls on Christmas day! Mom, Susie, and Karen. I cast my cares on Karen!! She called back the next day but I was out shopping with Tim and Stevie. She was very concerned about me and suspicious that the spirits that are bothering our neighbors were affecting us adversely—and she was frightened for me.

Dan recalled an “evil, beastie-looking thing” appearing the night before!—which he had neglected to tell me about! So we took Karen’s suggestion and prayed through the house. Then we prayed again at night.

Today was much better.

Also, I did devotions with the kids yesterday morning and asked Dan if he would join us. I turned to “do all things without grumbling or disputing” (Philippians 2:14) and the whole verse was perfect. We had all just read an Arch book about the seeds falling on various types of ground, so we prayed our hearts would be GOOD ground and would receive the Word of God.

We also laid down the law that their behavior HAD to change. As a result, the last two days have been gloriously happy and positive. It’s like a huge burden lifted!

Philippians 2:14-16 Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain.

We are holding fast to the word of life. We are holding fast to Jesus.        

245 – ‘Tis the Season to Trust Him

245 – ‘Tis the Season to

Trust Him

December 24, 1986 – Christmas Eve Day

The pressures of a messy unorganized house, Christmas errands yet to do, a few more cards to write, bows to tie on the tree, excited children—all with colds, 3 with varying stages of flu—a husband out of work (on his 3rd day of fasting and prayer). We still have no vehicle of our own, but Praise God, the Greenman’s car is ‘ours’ till Sunday. Christmas dinner plans had to be cancelled because of our flu and theirs, but a turkey and all the trimmings were given to us by the local churches! AND we have a smoked turkey sent from California by Connie and Jerry! 

With all of this—I guess I ‘deserve’ to be ‘under the circumstances.’ (that was my flesh!!)

BUT a desperate cry to my Lord in the shower, prayers from Dan, and—I can see clearly again, and HEAR what You have to say to me!

I will encourage myself in the Lord as Dan is doing, with psalms.

Selected verses from Psalms:

Oh taste and see that the Lord is GOOD; blessed is the man who TRUSTS in Him! 34:8

The EYES of the Lord are on the righteous, and His EARS are open to their cry. 34:15

The GOODNESS of God endures CONTINUALLY. 52:1b

I will praise Your name, O Lord, for it is GOOD.

For He has DELIVERED me out of all trouble. 54:6b, 7a

Whenever I am afraid, I will TRUST in You. In God (I WILL PRAISE HIS WORD), In God I have put my TRUST; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me? 56:3-4

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul TRUSTS in You; and in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, until these CALAMITIES have passed by. 57:1

Merry Christmas!

240 – Let Your Word Bear Fruit

240 – Let Your Word

Bear Fruit

December 8, 1986

Your boasting is not good—indeed it is most unseemly and entirely out of place…. 1 Corinthians 5:6 Amplified

You have been speaking to me about conceit and boasting!

A seed has been planted.

Let it be watered by the Word, nurtured by the Spirit.

I am willing that you should change me; I cannot change myself. Let Your Word bear fruit!!

Praises filling this house is a seed that You planted three years ago through a ‘word’ spoken by our friend, Paul: this house should be filled with praises! Let this seed bear fruit!! Water and nurture it as You have been, please, Lord Jesus. It is not in me to make it happen. I surrender it to You. Minister it to me by the Spirit’s power.

Thank You for the EARLY prayer time this morning which YOU awakened me for, and kept me wide awake. Bless You.

And one more thing:

Yesterday was awful. I saw the results of my eating Christmas cookies. I CANNOT DO IT. Sugar is like poison to me. I became overwhelmed and confused and ugly. Thank You, Lord, for showing me this EARLY in December so that I do not have to repeat last December. In our preparation for our trip to New York last summer, the lady in the nutrition store said that if I would get off sugar several of my issues would be settled. Let Your words to me bear fruit!

Eating sugar does not work for me. Beginning the previous summer I had begun fasting sugar. Whenever I cheated, I, and everyone around me, suffered from my unhappiness.

238 – The Wonderful and Wondrous Christian Life

238 – The Wonderful and Wondrous Christian Life

December 6, 1986

On Monday we had a neat experience of seeing God work.

I suspected I had a bladder infection. Dan gave permission to go to the doctor. (The question is always—do we have the cash to cover it?)

Josie, our neighbor, needed to get to Avon to pick up her car in the shop.

I tried the doctor’s office for 20-25 minutes, praying for God to supply a same-day appointment.

Also praying for a ride to work out.

Got an 11am appointment.

The idea came to borrow Sue Skiff’s car. She was working at ShurFine, the grocery store down the street.

In her rental car, Josie took us to ShurFine (the boys and I got ready miraculously quickly and efficiently, packing color book and crayons and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and apples). They also had a big toast and jelly snack while I was bustling around.

We brought Josie’s rental car back to our yard after we picked up Sue’s car.

Then we went to Avon.

Dropped Josie off at the car place.

Drove to Honeyoe Falls.

Got to the docs at 3 minutes to 11.

Barely room to sit in the waiting room.

We were all in good spirits and they were model kids. Praise YOU, Lord!

Read a story, all of them crowded around me.

I left the kids to give a urine sample. I was then called in.

The boys colored outside my door (end of the hall, in no one’s way).

I had to change to a gown for the exam.

Tim took Danny to the restroom. They had to go down to the doctor’s bathroom in the basement because a patient had passed out in front of the restroom on our floor.

We went to the front desk to pay. Timmy pointed out Tracey Belcastro, who needed love and prayer!! Praise God.

To the pharmacy.

Back to ShurFine to get Sue. She was off at 1 and we got there at 5 minutes till!!

Had time to get more hot dogs for dinner and $5 to give her for gas, which blessed her.

We blessed each other.

Josie and I blessed each other.

Tracey and I blessed each other.

The boys and I blessed each other.

PRAISE AND GLORY TO YOU, LORD!

This is just how I wrote it in my journal. I was 41 years old, full of simple faith in Jesus. And loving living that way.

236 – A Dramatic November

236 – A Dramatic November

November 26, 1986

Mark and Brian were Dan’s passengers in the car accident. Mark, a single guy living at home, went back to school the next day, sore and still shaken, but uninjured. His friendship with Dan stood strong. Brian, who had been in the front seat, had suffered a concussion and had endured the worst of the impact. He was married. He was not angry or blaming Dan.

Dan and I visited Brian and Mark in their homes last night. We had good fellowship with both of them.

We went to see the driver of the Hostess Cupcake truck, Elizabeth, who was still in the hospital. She was not interested in hearing ANYTHING we had to say. She was angry, rude, and defensive. It hurt Dan that he could not make amends with her. We are praying for her.

The month of November had been very dramatic and traumatic.

Jimmy, our neighbor, former home group leader, and Dan’s very good friend, was in the hospital. Dan went to see him so often that our next pay check was slim. Dan thought he could help Jimmy recover and regain his mental and physical health and get back into the school routine. God finally gave Dan a vision that warned him to stay away, that his involvement would in the long run do no good at all. Wow! It was a real vision with a picture of a vacuum and Dan being sucked down into it. Receiving a vision from God in itself was impactful and made it seem imperative that we heed it.

Dan had never been in a serious car accident. And to be the cause of it was mind-blowing. We got lots of support, we were not standing alone.

My journal indicates that we received $1800 from the insurance company for the totaled Suburban. We also received $600 from Penny, a missionary. That meant we could pay our bills and put money toward our next vehicle.

We may trust Him fully, all for us to do;
They who trust Him wholly find Him wholly true*.

*lyrics from the song Like a River Glorious, by Frances Havergal, 1876