117- Dan Loves Me and Jesus Loves Me

117- Dan Loves Me, and Jesus Loves Me

December 1, 1983

Dan loves me. I believe him.

December 8

The Homemaking Bible Study today ended up being a very painful experience. Dan prayed for me. Perhaps the Lord will give me feedback. I praise God for His continual unfailing love.

December 9

I need a revelation about my personality. There is something I think God is trying to get across. Dan says I am alright.

December 10

I am trying to justify being snarky, moody, and sour. The scripture gives me no support whatsoever.

Psalm 34:13 Keep your tongue from evil

                   14 Seek peace and pursue it

Proverbs 12:15 There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health.

December 18

Dan confessed our relationship is not what it should be. That he has been working hard at other things and has been taking me for granted. Praise the Lord.

January 19, 1984

3am A dream woke me up. It was about a former relationship and was upsetting. I got up to tend the fire and make sure the boys were covered and I felt I should stay up and settle some things with God.

When I said to God: “Dan is just a man. How long can he love me?”

God said: “As long as I can love you!”

Dan belongs to God, the relationship is divinely ordained and divinely sustained. (we have always known that God brought us together) I got assurance that I need have NO FEAR of God’s or Dan’s love running out the more they get to know me. We both will keep putting wrongs at the foot of the cross. Jesus will give us ongoing love for Himself and one another.

116- God’s Revealed Will For Us

116- God’s Revealed Will

For Us

November 22, 1983

Dan has been heavy and burdened. Today I felt such compassion for the frustrations he was feeling and I asked God to please speak to Dan about His will for us. My best friend’s husband, Paul, came over to get some teaching tapes from us, totally out-of-the-blue, spontaneous, and unusual.

He knew we were reviving our interest in Dan getting more training so that we could get to Japan and fulfill our calling.

He had come primarily because he felt he had a word from the Lord for us:

“there is a family and a house waiting to receive you or in the process of being prepared for you. They will appreciate your strong commitment to the Lord and His work. Love is waiting for your family. The Lord is saying: go north, far north, and do not put off applying the school there. People there are professional, stable, mature.”

Dan took this word to heart and set to work on his application to Elim Bible Institute in upstate New York. We sent it off a few weeks later. He also applied himself to completing the finishing touches to our solar house so we could put it on the market.

Besides our pastor’s sermons and the books we were reading, many visiting speakers to our church fueled our enthusiasm in trusting in Jesus and living our lives full of faith in Him.

Anthony Campolo spoke at our church and we also listened to his messages on the Christian radio station, KNIS. Campolo said:

*it’s okay to be poor if it’s because you’ve given everything away.

*we need to cry over the things God cries over.

*be yielded and surrendered so Jesus can use you.

*Jesus didn’t preach prosperity.

Paul arriving with a word for us on the day I had prayed was remarkable. We had been waiting and praying for a breakthrough and this was it.

110- A Letter from Jeanette

110- A Letter from Jeanette

I must have deeply insulted Jeanette. I admired then, and I do now, that she wrote me a heartfelt, loving letter as a way of initiating the healing process between us.

July 6, 1983

Dear Georgann, I have a burden in my heart for you and myself. I am praying for more discernment and the capability to perceive and communicate in a way the Lord would want me to.

I prayed the hurt I have would heal. God has answered my prayer.

He has given me a vision.  I pray you will be open to receive what the Lord has revealed to me.

I saw a beautiful stone with rough and ugly edges on it. The Lord wants this stone to be polished, to be a perfect and precious jewel.

I believe the Lord is using me as a tool to pray for you and tell you He wants you to rest and be at peace and not be defensive to yourself and others in your role as Mother.

I still love you as my friend even though I was deeply hurt. I praise God that he has shown me that the hurt doesn’t matter. I need only to step out in faith and continue to love my sister in Christ.

Philippians 1:3-10 I thank my God upon every remembrance of you… being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the thins that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God.

My dear sister, it hurts to be polished and shaped in the way the Lord wants us to be, but praise God what beautiful results and masterpieces He will have when He gets done with us.

Love, Jeanette

You can hear that she is past anger and in the process of healing from the pain I inflicted on her. You can hear her pure heart. You can hear the love. Our friendship survived. 

107- Dan says, Sell All

107- Dan Says, Sell All

June 29, 1983

Dan felt very strongly yesterday that the Lord said clearly to him to sell all and give the money to the poor.

It really is the desire of his heart and has been all his Christian life —to be really sold out to God.

He remembered telling Bill Denney (when we were having marriage counseling), “Georgann’s the only one I know who would ‘sell all’ for God.”

And now I’m faced once again with this reality.

(I gave away most of my possessions to the poor once before: see blog 22.)

It’s a greater step of faith being married with kids to think of taking this step of faith.

My folks would really believe I’d flipped out, although they wouldn’t have to know all the details. That release Pastor gave on Sunday – chains over the congregation being broken – releasing us from a paranoia of God. It was REAL release. I know God broke something in me and Dan.

Dan said, “We’re still in control, still running our lives. Only when we sell all will we be in the Lord’s control.”

Luke 12:33 Sell what you have and give alms

         34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

and –

Matthew 19:21 Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.

106- Love and Comfort

 106- Love and Comfort

I wanted to title this: Love and comfort coming from fasting, from the Word, from a friend, and from praising God.

But it would have been too long.

June 28, 1983 I’m fasting breakfast and lunch, but I will eat something after devotions-

In reading certain latter chapters in Isaiah, so much comfort comes out. I feel that God wants me to receive it. But how do I know that I can legitimately receive what is written to Israel?

Later after reading Wycliffe commentary and talking to Dan I found out: it’s okay to BELIEVE and RECEIVE what was written to Israel!

June 29

I had to STOP READING yesterday. So much love was pouring out I was not able to receive it.

Wycliffe says chapters 40-66 is called, The Volume of Comfort.

June 30

At Homemaking Bible Study we praised God and then prayed for Eva V. She kept looking at me saying she loved me. (Why am I always surprised when people express caring for me?) She is leaving her house—just moving away to follow what she feels is Jesus’ leading. She expects her husband to buy the house, but is not sure! We asked her about how she is always singing and praising so loudly. She said, “In Tulsa the churches praise like that and the Lord comes and people fall over as He sweeps over them. He loves it.”

When we praised the Lord with Eva’s loud singing filling the room, we were all encouraged and filled with joy. We will miss our friend!

105- Not Worthy? That’s a Lie.

105- Not Worthy?

That’s a Lie!

In the original entry this encompassed more thoughts and verses. I simplified it.

June 27, 1983

I think I just saw something!!

Psalm 51:6 Behold, You desire TRUTH in the inward parts, and in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.

There is a lie in my innermost being that continually says I am not worthy.

YES, THERE IS A LIE. WHAT IS THE LIE, FATHER? EXPOSE IT PLEASE.

Is there an incident, a person,  or a sin my mother passed on to me?

I think—all I need to do is BELIEVE I am worthy—

The flesh says: you will be a traitor to me if you believe you are loved. You would not be as I have trained you to be—willful, selfish, spoiled, negative, impatient.

But I say: I am in the image of my heavenly Father. The fruit of His Spirit is to flow from me continually.

I am free to love my children as an imperfect person and I am free to not expect them to be perfect.

I am free to let Christ himself live through me.

The chains are broken to my flesh, my house, my past.

I am free to let go and enjoy my husband and my children.

I am free to trust Christ.

I am free TO TRUST CHRIST.

I am free to be near or leave my parents and sisters.

I am free to leave Reno, Life Center, the safety of the known for the unknown.

102- Consider Your Temperament – Part II

102 – Consider Your Temperament – 

And Cling to Christ – Part II

 

June 22, 1983 -continued

Through the daily prayer guide we are reading I was led to this verse:

Samuel said this to the people:

1 Samuel 12:20-24 (paraphrased) Do not turn aside from following the Lord, serve the Him with all your heart; don’t turn to vain things because they cannot profit nor deliver you. The Lord will not forsake His people for His great name’s sake because it pleased Him to make you His own. He will teach you the good and the right way. Serve Him in truth with all your heart, considering the great things He has done for you.

The Holy Spirit said this to me personally:

If I don’t serve Him with all my heart and soul, I will find myself following vain things—things which will not be of any benefit to me and they will not deliver me. Jesus will not ever forsake me. He has an investment me. Think of the great things He has done for me. He was happy to make me His own. The Holy Spirit will pray for me and teach me. He is saying, “Georgann, fear God, serve Him the way He wants to be served. Honor Him for all He has done for you.”

On my Bible tapes, I heard through Galatians 5 and 6: You cannot fool God. You will grow what you plant! If you plant your flesh, you will grow flesh—this pertains to my character as well as to my sons—do I want to grow flesh-filled kids or Spirit-filled kids??? HEAVY!

I am to press in to the Spirit and not stay in discouragement or weariness. I am to keep myself encouraged in Christ! I WILL REAP good fruit if I hang in there with Jesus all the way!

95- Guilty of Faultfinding!

95- Guilty of Faultfinding!

A little article in Guideposts magazine by Catherine Marshall brought a big conviction!

Catherine Marshall was the wife of Peter Marshall a famous Presbyterian pastor who also served as Chaplain of the Senate in Washington DC. She is known for her writings of fiction, non-fiction, and books she edited of her husband’s sermons and prayers. Her best known books are: A Man Called Peter, which was on the NY Bestseller’s List for three years in the 1950’s, and Christy, the story of her mother’s years as a teacher of children in the Appalachians.

February 24, 1983

One day, Catherine asked the Lord if He had any special word for her that day. He told her she was to fast from faultfinding, to accept people as they were and to drop her judgment of them.

Catherine wrote that she was inclined to be a perfectionist, meaning critical of herself and others—“a habit that tends toward judgment.”

She proposed that the cessation of faultfinding leads to creativity, goodwill, mercy, better health, better relationships.

Father–I am the faultfinder of the age! It’s sickening! I judge everyone and everything. I always have an opinion. I feel I see things rightly and others quite often are misguided.

I remember: when I was about 12 my mom said, “You used to be so tactful.”

I need to be done with this very seriously detrimental traitMy God shall supply all my need to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:19

You know, Lord, I wonder what Dan thinks I think of him, I find so much fault in others.  Let me try by Your divine enablement, to fast from faultfinding.

From a World MAP (missionary) magazine: do a sober self-evaluation to assess your personal resources for the Lord’s use in future fruitful endeavors.

Remembering: 2 Corinthians 12:9 My grace is sufficient for you, My strength is made perfect in weakness. This means: sufficient for me to live victoriously despite the devil’s buffeting!

March 4  Lord, You are faithful. I am realizing that what I have NOT LIKED in several people–what has really separated us–has been faultfinding! And I see that I am a chief offender.

94- A Message That Became Prophetic

94- A Message That Became Prophetic

December 1982 Dan was asked by our pastor to speak one Sunday morning. These are my notes:

*self-centeredness is against God’s heart and God’s gospel

*Christ died for the church, for the kingdom, not just for me

*Romans 5 – Christ died for us

*Ephesians 5 – Christ gave Himself for the church

*Ephesians 1 – The church is the fullness of Him who fills all in all

*therefore we are not to love for ourselves

*be a servant, even if you work for a difficult taskmaster

*care not for ME

*do everything heartily as unto the Lord

Three months after this message we invited a family from our church to move into our home.

Continue reading “94- A Message That Became Prophetic”

92- Willing and Obedient

92- Willing and Obedient

December 11, 1982

Dan has been offered a position as program director at KNIS—full time! Could mean a move to Carson City. I’m sort of shaken.

We are on the brink of an adventure, a certain step of faith.

Guest speaker at church last night and this a.m. is Anthony Campolo. He is speaking on self-denial, sacrifice, giving, meekness, peacemaking, mourning over the world condition.

He was teaching us Jesus’ heart.

I have definitely come to appreciate Dan’s sincere and anointed edification of the saints on the radio. It’s not his own personality making it up. It’s a man seeking and serving a living , loving, worthy Lord, and sincerely encouraging others to do the same.

Moving is not my idea and it sounds hard. I do not care for the small town of Carson at all.

But I lay aside these for Your perfect and blessed will. That we might be in fellowship with You, that our boys would know You and Your reality.

December 12

Campolo got onto missions in today’s message.

He asked for full surrender and full commitment. Pastor Dave asked for hands of those interested in missions. 

He seemed to acknowledge Dan and I. Dan gave his testimony tonight at church and some teaching. It came off well, serious, sincere, Spirit-filled. Gene gathered everyone around us to pray for KNIS job and our lives and Pastor prayed for the missions interest to be confirmed, put together, and moved along.

ONLY BY YOU, LORD! My feet are cold; my faith is small, but I am willing and obedient.

Looking back, I am in awe that one dear friend prayed about the job offer, and our faithful Pastor picked up from the Spirit about the missions calling. God, You are amazing in how You work!