280 – Behold the Children

280– Behold the Children

November 1, 1987

Tony Martorana spoke on the Flow of the Spirit that he’s been privileged to be part of. God has been using him to help people and see God heal them. He invited all of us, especially the children, to join him for the baptism of the Holy Spirit. He suggested the parents talk to their children and offer to come up to the front with them. Steve and Mark were enthusiastic to go up. It just happened to be communion Sunday so all the kids were in the service.

Dan took the boys up and Palmer Johnson (a beloved teacher) met them. He sat on the step and talked with them and they followed him in prayer.

Timmy sitting next to me, cried. He had told me a few weeks earlier that he was having some questions about the Lord. Perhaps being in the public school setting is stirring him up. I feel he will be able to fully decide soon. Dan is going to talk to him at home.

Stevie and I went to Elim for the evening service. A missionary who served in Jamaica spoke: Jesus is entrusting you with people He cherishes and we are to treat them carefully.

He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” Mark 10:14

November 3

The kids and I had a good close time of prayer and talking before Timmy left for school. Then Stevie, Markie, and Daniel and I danced and sang and praised God!

I talked to Barb and we prayed for our sons in their second grade classroom. Downstairs Steve and Mark were singing a praise song where you have to scream and shout over and over!

Through the praise of children and infants you have established a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger. Psalm 8:2

279 – God’s Encouragements Abound

279- God’s Encouragements Abound

October 27, 1987

Yesterday on my walk I had cried out—Lord, I make consistent effort yet my life is so unhappy during these days. I realized I have just been sliding along with the current, day in and day out, being busy, pedaling fast to keep up–but not expending any effort to grab hold of the Lord through gratitude or praise.

I MUST ENCOURAGE MYSELF IN THE LORD!

Today I kept on top of my attitude! IT WAS WONDERFUL!

After Tim went to school, I loaded up the three boys and we went to Steve’s tutoring at Tom and Carley’s. Then to the post office, then directly home so I could type a 15 page paper for Dan.

I kept being kind, loving, helpful, by God’s grace, and kept on top of impatience and kept it OUT of my heart. I kept submitting myself to the Lord.

I finished the paper at 4:40 just in time load all the boys in the car and drive to Elim and pick Dan up. I felt rested and joyful. Then Vivian offered to babysit so I could go back to Elim and go to class (Signs and Wonders) with Dan. Praise God!

When I went to the post office we had received a package from Jan with coloring books, sticker books, science things, and the children’s Pilgrim’s Progress!

We also received a package from my mom with Halloween party good, cute ‘spooky’ cards for the kids, and a letter from her.

Connie called, but I missed the call.

Karen called and said that Paul said that “Breakthrough is coming. School is an unbelievable strain on a man and his family but you’ll make it! and it’s worth it and your Elim experience is invaluable for you.” Very ENCOURAGING words from the Lord. Thank You, Paul.

Therefore ENCOURAGE one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

But ENCOURAGE one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. Hebrews 3:13

278 – Still Receiving

September 25, 1987

I had a wonderful experience this Monday night. When I grocery shopped I kept to my carefully planned list and spent only $63. I asked God to add to our provisions for the week and Donna brought a bag of groceries in which were two meals of pasta and sauce, plus a treat to serve at the home group on Thursday night. AND Donna said they are bringing us their our old couch!

Vivian’s boyfriend gave us a large box of powdered milk, government issue.

Our Reno church sent $60.

Praise the Lord, God is good!

September 28

After church at Elim, Joan offered to pay for me to go to Women’s Leadership Retreat. I was not very interested but I did not react negatively. I have put the matter in God’s hands. It would be a hardship on Dan because Tuesday through Friday he would need to take the boys to sitters as well as prepare all of the meals. He has been working at SouthCo (a manufacturing company) long hours and many nights for over a month. Yet, the Lord could make this a glorious blessing for all. I feel I am neutral in this. To go or not go is fine with me. Joan called again, pressing me for an answer so she could register me. She offered to call Karen to see if she would be willing to babysit.

October 2

Dan said he REALLY wanted me to go to the retreat if I had the courage. I believe I do. Everything began to fall into place. Barb will keep Tim, Karen is very glad to watch the other three boys. So, Lord, by faith I have registered and called Joan. She will pay today.

I thank You in advance by faith and I will keep it in Your hands and pray Your all-sufficient grace is on the entire four days.

277 – New Faith Territory

August 31, 1987

Talked to mom, and she encouraged me to let Timmy go have the experiences that will be offered to him in the public school. She related how difficult it was for her to let us go to school, to college, to leave home!! THAT HELPED!!

And I finally got to talk to Donna’s friend, Diane. She called me four times and finally reached me at 9:30 pm! She pursued!! I was impressed.

She faced this same trauma of letting her children ‘go’ last January. They left the Christian school and went to the public school. She has nothing negative to say about it. She said the principal is a born again Christian! She and her husband have even prayed with him! He only hires teachers with high moral standards. He has strong convictions. PRAISE THE LORD! She even said to pray about Stevie going to school also because the first grade teacher is a Christian man who is excellent with the kids. So we are praying.

God, you are setting me free by loving me, leading me gently. You are explaining, comforting, encouraging me. You are wonderful. WONDERFUL…

So, Timmy was released by Dan and I to go to public school. He loved it every day. Steve stayed home with us and we hired a woman to tutor him in reading, and he excelled. The Lord provided a prayer partner who was an Elim friend, Barb. She and I prayed passionately for our sons almost every day on the phone. They both came through unscathed.

O you of little faith, why did you doubt? Matthew 14:31

I doubted because my Lord was taking me into brand new territory!

(v 32 – sort of) And when Georgann got into the boat AND TRUSTED JESUS, the wind stopped!

God always meets me when I come to Him. I just have to stay connected for the journey of faith.

276 -Still Working Something Out with Jesus

276 – Still Working Something Out with Jesus

August 28, 1987

The pain continues over whether Tim is going to Christian or public school. Dan and I prayed yesterday before he went to work, and talked, and I don’t feel QUITE so uptight.

And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice, and yielded up His spirit. Matthew 27:50

I know my God will save me, He is faithful. He can change any situation into a blessing as He pleases. The results of putting Tim in public school, as I give up my spirit and my will, could be absolutely wonderful. It could result in relationships and conversions that lead to salvations that absolutely could not happen otherwise.

August 29

Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who has been crucified. Matthew 28:5

The disciples were paralyzed with fear, but their fears were calmed by God.

Then Jesus said to them, Do not be afraid… Matthew 28:10

I have been praying and little by little I have received peace.

And You are saying this to me. I hear You, my Lord.

Make it real to me, Jesus. Love me in the way I need to be loved, and have it make sense to me. Encourage me by giving me unshakable faith and peace and joy. I really need You. This is a trial of my faith and I know You will be faithful.

275 – Jesus Died, I Must Die

August 26 and 27 1987

Gramma Fern must have sent us a good amount of money. How to spend it was the topic of several of Dan’s and my conversations in my journals and many days of seeking the Lord’s will. We went back to seriously thinking about Christian school for Timmy—at least I did.

This confuses me, Lord, and I need to hear from You. It feels we are getting ‘tossed about’ over this!

Lord, You know the whole issue, but now Dan feels very strongly that Timmy should go to public school. I sort of stormed out of the house and headed out to the country roads. I took an hour and a half brisk walk and confessed all my pride and rebellion, pouring out my heart’s confusion and sadness.

All I could say at the end of praying and praising and seeking You was, “Lord, carry me through this.” I definitely cannot cope.

I was wanting someone to pray with about submission who could be neutral and non-judgmental and give me wisdom. Donna brought a friend she had not seen in years to our Bible study after she ran into her at her son’s soccer game. I almost opened it up, but I didn’t want a big discussion with everyone’s advice and people hearing our problems without Dan there. But this Diane had moved her kids from the Christian School to the public school! I felt in my spirit that she would have encouragement and wisdom to share.

Matthew 27:43 …He trusts in God, let Him deliver Him now if He takes pleasure in Him…

People were saying of Jesus–HA! Let God deliver this man from the cross! I feel this is happening to me—I cannot come down from the cross. There are mockings and insults all around me. I feel I let my children down because they did not do well on the SAT test. I feel foolish and misunderstood by the neighbors AND the homeschoolers.

Then it occurred to me by the Spirit that Jesus did get off the cross. And so will I.

He got off when He died!I will get off —–when I die to this!

When I can really totally say, “Thy will be done.”

And when I do not get emotionally involved in what ANYONE thinks, but only in what YOU think, Lord.

274 – You Did It to Me

August 24, 1987

On Saturday I was upset again because the neighbor kids, Leah and David, wanted to have dinner with us. I said, raking the grass, Lord, if You want me to joyfully feed these neighborhood children, You tell me by the word of God—calculating quickly in my mind that in my devotions I was reading in the end chapters in Matthew and it wouldn’t again say to give cold water, or –I was hungry and you fed Me.

Feeling quite safe with my bargain I soon saw Dan bringing the mower in. I began to speak to him over my dismay at the neighborhood kids hanging around at mealtime. He said, Well Jesus says, “When I was hungry and you fed me……” AWWW! The verbal word!!

They stayed. I repented of my stingy bad attitude.

Tonight, reading my Bible, looking for something else, there it was:

For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat;

I was thirsty, and you gave Me drink;

I was a stranger, and you invited Me in;

I was sick, and you visited Me;

I was in prison, and you came to Me.

To the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me!

Matthew 25:35-36, 37-38

God, You are amazing!

273 – Interrogation

August 19, 1987

Bema was an 80 year old woman who lived in a cute green house with yellow-trimmed shutters directly across the street from us. She was Leslie’s and Julie’s mother, and the boys’ friend Chris’s grandmother. The daughters would gather daily to visit with their mom on the small patio. Bema and I really liked each other and oftentimes she would venture an opinion.

Yesterday Bema brought us home from Bingo at the rest home and voiced her concerns about homeschooling. She had decided that third grade was getting over my head when I‘d only taught first grade. What about preparation time and having the kids underfoot all day, every day?

I told her that I’d taught first, second, and third grades, and said just the right things, thank the Lord. I was surprised and caught off guard, but did not get defensive.

Just then Markie fell in the street while crossing it to get to our house. Praise God. I was forced, I should say– I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY, to leave the uncomfortable situation quickly.

Later in the evening Leslie came over with more questions about homeschooling. She had been sitting with Bema and Julie on Bema’s patio, probably chitchatting about us! I felt quizzed and uncomfortable. They were prying and I was trying to act like a Christian. This small town living is having its challenges.

Their concern was the prevailing attitude of the 80’s: how can a mom be smart enough and together enough to teach her kids at home, especially when there’s a bunch of them and they are all ages. AND how audacious are you to keep your children at home when they need the socializing that school offers.

All I knew was that the Lord had led me very clearly, Dan had agreed (reluctantly at first, but then wholeheartedly) and God had given me the verse: And when he brings out his own sheep, he goes before them; and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. John 10:5

We did not want the boys to follow just any voice.

I had felt assurance that Jesus was with us in this endeavor.

272 – God Always Meets Me

272 -God Always Meets Me

August 13, 1987

I was in a deep quandary about homeschooling. I cried out to my Lord:

Be gracious to me, O Lord, for to Thee I cry ALL DAY LONG. In the day of my trouble I shall call upon Thee’ for Thou wilt answer me. There is NO ONE like Thee among the gods, O Lord; nor are there any works like Thine. Psalm 86:3,7

Mike, dean of married students, made an appointment to meet with us and came to our house. He asked us to be home group leaders. He also wanted to discuss homeschooling. Last year a homeschool family had caused havoc and ended up in court! He loves our testimony of homeschooling and he said that Elim would back our decision to homeschool UNLESS it went against the school district’s recommendations (which is what the other family had done). Here’s the rub: because of their scores on the SAT test, the district wanted Tim and Steve enrolled. I told Mike and he and Dan agreed it would be a good idea to enroll the boys in September. I was horrified.

I went to the Lord, crying, pouring out my heart to the Lord, trying to wrap my head around sending my sons away to school. (The school was in reality just a short walk across the field behind our house).

Then I went to the Word. Nothing really made clear sense in Matthew 10 and 11 that I could relate to our situation. Then the Lord met me with His words:

Matthew 12:25 Any kingdom divided against itself is laid waste; and any city or house divided against itself cannot stand.

Matt 14:25 TAKE COURAGE, IT IS I, DO NOT BE AFRAID!

We can not afford to send the boys to Christian school. So it was important that I surrender and not cause havoc in our home by my stubbornness. I needed to give in, honor my husband, and trust God for our sons’ welfare. And I needed to not be fearful but trust Him.

This brought clarity and the peace of the Holy Spirit. Not that I did not waffle in the days ahead–I did, and so did Dan.

271 – Free Travel, Vending Machines and Law Suits

271 – Free Travel, Vending Machines, and Lawsuits

July 31, 1987

We just got back from two full weeks in Reno. Jan and Jim sold their vacation trailer and took up a collection at church to pay for our family’s plane tickets. WOW! We were humbled. Bob and Janet were on vacation and gave us their house to use! To top it off my parents came to town for a 3-day visit. We saw friends and family; we were loved and gave love.

August 10

We came back to Livonia to the reality of three lawsuits: Dan’s passenger, Brian; the owner of the Hostess Cupcake truck; and Elizabeth the driver of the truck.

I read in Matt 5:40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also.

It was God’s word, and amazing that I ‘just happened’ to read it today.

But it was not very comforting.

August 14

On a family outing we stopped in a gas station along the highway. Inside the bathroom some obscene materials were offered for sale from a vending machine. I felt conscience-bound to call the corporate head of the gas station company for making the materials available.

I wrote out what I was going to say and respectfully told the top-guy my concerns.

Once I cried spontaneously (for the children who have seen this type of machine in a public place). The man I was talking to said, “I understand, believe me!” I followed up with a letter and included the gospel message. I felt so free and relieved afterward.