240 – Let Your Word Bear Fruit

240 – Let Your Word

Bear Fruit

December 8, 1986

Your boasting is not good—indeed it is most unseemly and entirely out of place…. 1 Corinthians 5:6 Amplified

You have been speaking to me about conceit and boasting!

A seed has been planted.

Let it be watered by the Word, nurtured by the Spirit.

I am willing that you should change me; I cannot change myself. Let Your Word bear fruit!!

Praises filling this house is a seed that You planted three years ago through a ‘word’ spoken by our friend, Paul: this house should be filled with praises! Let this seed bear fruit!! Water and nurture it as You have been, please, Lord Jesus. It is not in me to make it happen. I surrender it to You. Minister it to me by the Spirit’s power.

Thank You for the EARLY prayer time this morning which YOU awakened me for, and kept me wide awake. Bless You.

And one more thing:

Yesterday was awful. I saw the results of my eating Christmas cookies. I CANNOT DO IT. Sugar is like poison to me. I became overwhelmed and confused and ugly. Thank You, Lord, for showing me this EARLY in December so that I do not have to repeat last December. In our preparation for our trip to New York last summer, the lady in the nutrition store said that if I would get off sugar several of my issues would be settled. Let Your words to me bear fruit!

Eating sugar does not work for me. Beginning the previous summer I had begun fasting sugar. Whenever I cheated, I, and everyone around me, suffered from my unhappiness.

239 – Spirit Led

December 6, 1986

We, especially Dan, feel the ’77 Pontiac isn’t for us….through the Spirit and through circumstances.

Once we had made that decision on Thursday night and prayed, then Friday night as we were borrowing Pletcher’s car, Cheryl mentioned—“you DO have a car! Tresize’s have a van they will sell!”

That’s just what Dan had wanted, for long-range going-back-to-Reno reasons.

Then at home group last night, the Robinson’s mentioned they need a car! So maybe the ’77 Pontiac is for them.

But that means we have to spend our totaled car money on another vehicle (hopefully there will be enough!) and we won’t have extra $ for snow clothes, bills and Christmas!

Praise God—I put this ALL in Your wonderful hands.

Last night at home group, I realized that we have a group of friends in this group whose #1 goal is to serve God. They are seeking Him, seeking to hear His voice directing them, looking to Him to provide. We are not weirdos! WE FIT IN. We are growing to love them. Our prayer time was blessed.

Our needs specifically:

*snow boots TSMDG

*snow gloves TS

*snow suits SM

*Christmas tree

*ideas & time to shop for/make gifts

*$ to mail packages

*company here for Christmas dinner or somewhere to go for Christmas dinner

*car/van

*gifts for our boys

*dental appointments DGTSM

*$ for boys’ doctor appointments which are needed for the WIC program requirements MD

*more good friends for the boys with opportunities to have them here and go to their homes

*curtain rods, etc., to hang curtains, time to do it with Dan

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

234 – Letting Go

November 20, 1986

You are drawing me to Yourself through hardship, awareness of my inadequacies, and the ministry you have given me with the boys.

You really desire to live through me in such a way that sweetness and life come out of my mouth.

I believe You want me to be overflowing with the Holy Spirit.

I remember Gloria Copeland’s tapes on walking in the Spirit—pray 1 hour a day in the Spirit–why is is so crazily hard to do this!!

JoAnn (new friend) yesterday said, “To remove worldliness He comes with a scourge, in order to make us a house of prayer. Then the lame and the blind will come. He shows us how defiled we are. He shows us pride. He wants us completely dependent on Him.” Interesting viewpoint.

Last night I let go, caved in, gave it to you—regarding the money we haven’t got for food. I’m going to stop pushing and by God’s grace accept His allotment. That means I’m going to buy what I can and expect Him to provide the rest. Yesterday we got government powdered milk, cornmeal, cheddar cheese, through Joan who has a foster son and gets government help. I was going to the store to get milk, cereal, eggs, and oven cleaner. But after Joan’s visit I decided to make cornmeal mush and trust God for the oven cleaner. I have the dough for baking crackers, but I cannot bake them till the chicken grease (from it popping when I roasted the chicken yesterday) is cleaned. It smokes badly. Maybe I can clean it without cleaner, just hot water and elbow grease.

Lord, You are our provider. As we have surrendered, You are moving. Also, Joan invited us to join their family for dinner after church on Sunday. I am excited to see You bringing a new friendship, yet I am a bit discouraged to have to surrender not being able to fix what I want for my family. Letting go and letting God be in charge of that area is long overdue.

I look for Your bountiful grace to come forth into my obedience. May You please show me any other area of obedience and surrender I need to make! And let me do it easily and quickly!

Soon after this we qualified for WIC (Women, Infants and Children) and picked up our own blocks of cheddar, approved cereals, peanut butter, milk, etc. We were able to stay on the program the rest of the time we were in NY, one and a half years longer.

238 – The Wonderful and Wondrous Christian Life

December 6, 1986

On Monday we had a neat experience of seeing God work.

I suspected I had a bladder infection. Dan gave permission to go to the doctor. (The question is always—do we have the cash to cover it?)

Josie, our neighbor, needed to get to Avon to pick up her car in the shop.

I tried the doctor’s office for 20-25 minutes, praying for God to supply a same-day appointment.

Also praying for a ride to work out.

Got an 11am appointment.

The idea came to borrow Sue Skiff’s car. She was working at ShurFine, the grocery store down the street.

In her rental car, Josie took us to ShurFine (the boys and I got ready miraculously quickly and efficiently, packing color book and crayons and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and apples). They also had a big toast and jelly snack while I was bustling around.

We brought Josie’s rental car back to our yard after we picked up Sue’s car.

Then we went to Avon.

Dropped Josie off at the car place.

Drove to Honeyoe Falls.

Got to the docs at 3 minutes to 11.

Barely room to sit in the waiting room.

We were all in good spirits and they were model kids. Praise YOU, Lord!

Read a story, all of them crowded around me.

I left the kids to give a urine sample. I was then called in.

The boys colored outside my door (end of the hall, in no one’s way).

I had to change to a gown for the exam.

Tim took Danny to the restroom. They had to go down to the doctor’s bathroom in the basement because a patient had passed out in front of the restroom on our floor.

We went to the front desk to pay. Timmy pointed out Tracey Belcastro, who needed love and prayer!! Praise God.

To the pharmacy.

Back to ShurFine to get Sue. She was off at 1 and we got there at 5 minutes till!!

Had time to get more hot dogs for dinner and $5 to give her for gas, which blessed her.

We blessed each other.

Josie and I blessed each other.

Tracey and I blessed each other.

The boys and I blessed each other.

PRAISE AND GLORY TO YOU, LORD!

This is just how I wrote it in my journal. I was 41 years old, full of simple faith in Jesus. And loving living that way.

237 – The Mind of Christ

December 3, 1986

Colossians 3:12-17

And so those who have been CHOSEN OF GOD, holy and beloved,

PUT ON A HEART OF COMPASSION

KINDNESS

HUMILITY

GENTLENESS

PATIENCE

BEARING WITH ONE ANOTHER, whoever has a complaint against any one;

JUST AS THE LORD FORGAVE YOU, so also should you.

And beyond all these things

PUT ON LOVE, which is the perfect bond of unity

And let the PEACE OF CHRIST

RULE

in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body

AND BE THANKFUL.

LET THE WORD OF CHRIST RICHLY DWELL WITHIN YOU,

with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs,

SINGING WITH THANKFULNESS IN YOUR HEARTS TO GOD.

And whatever you do in word or deed, DO ALL in the name of the LORD JESUS,

GIVING THANKS through Him to God the Father.

Precious words. It is the mind of Christ. And that is what I want, Lord.

236 – A Dramatic November

November 26, 1986

Mark and Brian were Dan’s passengers in the car accident. Mark, a single guy living at home, went back to school the next day, sore and still shaken, but uninjured. His friendship with Dan stood strong. Brian, who had been in the front seat, had suffered a concussion and had endured the worst of the impact. He was married. He was not angry or blaming Dan.

Dan and I visited Brian and Mark in their homes last night. We had good fellowship with both of them.

We went to see the driver of the Hostess Cupcake truck, Elizabeth, who was still in the hospital. She was not interested in hearing ANYTHING we had to say. She was angry, rude, and defensive. It hurt Dan that he could not make amends with her. We are praying for her.

The month of November had been very dramatic and traumatic.

Jimmy, our neighbor, former home group leader, and Dan’s very good friend, was in the hospital. Dan went to see him so often that our next pay check was slim. Dan thought he could help Jimmy recover and regain his mental and physical health and get back into the school routine. God finally gave Dan a vision that warned him to stay away, that his involvement would in the long run do no good at all. Wow! It was a real vision with a picture of a vacuum and Dan being sucked down into it. Receiving a vision from God in itself was impactful and made it seem imperative that we heed it.

Dan had never been in a serious car accident. And to be the cause of it was mind-blowing. We got lots of support, we were not standing alone.

My journal indicates that we received $1800 from the insurance company for the totaled Suburban. We also received $600 from Penny, a missionary. That meant we could pay our bills and put money toward our next vehicle.

We may trust Him fully, all for us to do;
They who trust Him wholly find Him wholly true*.

*lyrics from the song Like a River Glorious, by Frances Havergal, 1876

235 – Spinning on an Icy Road

November 21, 1986

I was home with the boys hosting a potluck for our weekly Bible study group that Dan taught. The house was full of good friends and neighbors. Even now I thank the Lord for the support we had that night.

Dan and two fellow Elim students worked part-time at a construction job while taking classes at the school. That night was stormy and on the way home from work, Dan lost control of his vehicle on a slick country road and collided with a Hostess Cupcake truck. The woman driver was taken to the hospital by ambulance and one of Dan’s passengers also was injured. Our Suburban was totaled.

When Dan finally arrived at home with the distressing story of the accident and our car being towed away, we were all dumbfounded. Someone gathered us to pray.

Dan was stunned and feeling horrible about his helplessness to avoid the collision and being the cause of two people’s serious injuries.

Our downstairs neighbor and friend, Josie, who was a fellow student, drove him to the site of the crash the next day. They searched everywhere but his glasses had disappeared. Josie didn’t hesitate, but took Dan to an optometrist and bought him new eyeglasses! We received offers of loaned cars by seven different couples and two single ladies. Over the next couple of weeks we borrowed several of the loaners for a few days at a time and eventually purchased a huge green van from the Trezises.

We received sympathy and encouraging words from fellow-students, and also from neighbors and even strangers in our very small town. There were prayers at chapel by the entire student body, money gifts, meals, and humbling support.

A sorrowful thing happened. The injured passenger in Dan’s car sued us for one million dollars. A sheriff came to the house and handed me the legal document. After I closed the door, I went immediately into shock, BUT the Lord met me IMMEDIATELY! He spoke a word to me that gave me a deep peace. Later, the friend and his wife came to the house to say that they did not blame Dan and had no hard feelings against him. They said they were suing our insurance company because they saw it as a way to buy a farm and have a business. We were able to be polite, by God’s grace.

And after many months of prayers by people at the school and friends and family back in Reno, the suit went away. All praise to God.

And grateful tears are falling from my eyes as I write about it 31 years later.

233 – Focus on His Presence

233 – Focus on His Presence, not Fear

November 19, 1986

Fear brings a fight-or-flight response. In my case, I pretty quickly go to panic. Fears can be real or imagined.

Here is the list I had in my journal on this day. It is a continuation of the previous blog:

*fear that I am losing the boys and I’ll not regain ‘control’ once they get distracted

*fear that they will grow up and be weird

*fear someone will see the house messy

*fear the boys will be seen by others while they are fighting

*fear I will not be able to get Daniel playing happily with the toys and I will lose the boys’ interest in the school work while I am helping him

*fear people will see all of us as we really are, so often at odds, it seems.

Often I recognize the moment the fearful thought comes to me and I find myself going with it instead of holding every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

9pm After my half hour walk, I had a good time praying with Dan. I heard myself saying: “I let go of the boys, I just want to be in Your presence, Jesus.” WHAT PEACE CAME TO ME!!

Could this be the missing link?? Please continue to speak, Lord…. what comes immediately to mind is the book about George Mueller, which I began reading last night. As a newly saved believer, when he focused on his girlfriend and was infatuated with her, he had no communication or peace or presence of God. The moment he turned away from her and chose God, God was there. Is that what happens to me, Lord? Please speak to me!

10:30pm I love these verses, thank You!

In Thy presence is fullness of joy. Psalm 16:11

God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved.; God will help her when morning dawns. Psalm 46:5

Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving, let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms. Psalm 95:2

232 – Sorting Out My Fears

November 19, 1986

Let us function in love and brotherly kindness in our home! You are my only hope. There is less friction than ever, but sometimes I want to SCREAM.

I do not want cover everything over and just learn how to COPE! HEAL ME DEEPLY! I want my reactions to be in love and kindness.

Dan discovered the book Inner Healing by Paula and John Sandford. I stopped at the library at Elim to pick it up before my Prophet’s class last night.

My challenges:

*the boys being disobedient—specifically: playfully disregarding me but enjoying each other!

*boys playing too rough and hurting each other

*Daniel being fussy and distracting us from schoolwork

*the stress of trying to keep to our school schedule

*focusing on the messy house

*anger at not having more food, toys, socks for the boys, personal time for me.

I was praying, and this verse came to my mind: When I am afraid I will put my trust in Thee. Psalm 56:3.

Hmmmm…the root of my anger seems to be FEAR—

I sought the Lord and, He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4

to be continued on blog 233!

231 – Organized and Praising

231 – Getting Organized and Praising Jesus

November 17, 1986

Last week I was able to surrender organizing the house, I had been harping on it in prayer and grinding and striving about it in my mind. And then He came through for me. Praise the Lord!

I made a special trip to the campus book store to get the book Dan had heard about in a chapel service this week: The Organized Woman. Then on Saturday Dan provided the time and the Lord gave me clarity to work on the kitchen and the mudroom. The mudroom is huge and home to yard tools, winter boots, extra shoes, coats, outside toys, snow toys, washer and dryer, and laundry piles. These are the two rooms I spend my time in the most and that were the MOST important. The play room I had done last week, and it is still organized.

For God is not the author of confusion but of peace…. 1 Corinthians 14:33

I will continue praising and worshiping You today.

Let praises fill this house as You exhorted me 3 years ago. It has been happening. The boys are loving spending time praising You. Their Spirits become immediately joyful!

My lips will shout for joy when I sing praises to You. Psalm 71:23

…and those the Lord has rescued will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away. Isaiah 35:10