289 -I Will Live for Your Approval

289 – I Will Live for Your Approval

January 18, 1988

There is a sensation of Your presence as I move in praise and joy.

The victory for this wonderful day was purchased by my Savior’s blood 2000 years ago. I praise and thank You, Jesus, for a day full of JOY in spite of often-adverse circumstances and other people’s often adverse attitudes.

Today is the birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr. Tim was home from school. Mark was sick. Late afternoon I was able to get them to Elim to the nurse. They both have strep.

The JOY lifted me, caressed me, filled me, encouraged me, strengthened me.  JOY joyJOY joyjoy

Dan is getting tracts from R. Libby. He has led 400 people to the Lord at Kodak (where Wayne works). His wife is an intercessor. Jesus is the power.

I keep thinking of another baby.

joy joyjoyjoy  joy joy   joy joy  joy JOY joy joyJOY JOY

I believe You, Jesus, for more of it ….. joy joyjoyjoy

January 20

John 12:  27-19 When the Father spoke from heaven to Jesus, some heard thunder, some confessed an angel had spoken.

Let me hear the words You speak, Father.

            42-43 Some did not confess Him because they loved the approval and praise of men rather than the approval of God.

Let me be one who confesses You before men, my Lord, and wins Your approval.

286 – Pride Speaks Out of My Mouth

286 – Pride Speaks

Out of My Mouth

January 7, 1988

INSIGHT: It just occurred to me that when I do NOT understand a story about Jesus or am offended by His words to someone in the Bible—that I am being a Pharisee! If I REALLY believed He was God—anything I did not understand I would merely set aside and ask Him for insight, respectfully—because He IS GOD!!

But to scoff or judge is saying: “because I don’t understand, You are wrong, God.”

It is putting me and my intellect ABOVE Almighty God!!!!!

And then I think, “Well, I don’t respect Him when He acts in rude ways—who does He think He is?—God?” YES!

Proverbs 8:8 (wisdom speaking) All of the utterances of my mouth are in righteousness, there is nothing crooked or perverted in them.

This is referring to all the utterances of God’s mouth are righteous, not ever crooked or perverted.

And what about this:

The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; pride and arrogance and the evil way and the perverse mouth I hate. Proverbs 8:13

Well, I guess I feel like a fool. But, God does not push me away –ever!

YOU ARE GOD. You can do ANY thing You want in my life. I ask to be content with what You bring and to recognize what is not of You. I repent of the pride that has been so arrogant before You, and ask that You would make this a life-changing insight. Thank You in advance, Holy Spirit, for it.

283 – He is Wonderful!

283 -He is Wonderful!

December 8, 1987

We just received $500 from &&& in the mail! It came with two specifications:

*don’t tell anyone [30 years later I will still honor their request]

*it’s for Christmas only—so the boys will have lots of gifts under the tree

*it’s for food and your needs.

PRAISE THE LORD!

My first thoughts were for things that money can’t buy:

*I want a loving heart and control over my tongue

*the boys to be more manageable

*for Bema to be well

*for my dad to be well

*time to crochet all kinds of towels for Christmas gifts

I am remembering that Ben Dodzweit said, if you need money, GIVE. And we have. And it came back many-fold.

I got up really early. I had prayed for God to let me. I prayed and walked. And I was at the Laundromat by 6:45! You are wonderful! WONDERFUL!!

Blessed is that man who makes the Lord his trust….Many, O Lord my God, are Your wonderful works which You have done; and Your thoughts toward us cannot be recounted to You in order; if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered.

Psalm 40:4a,5

282 – God said, I Will Help You

282 – God said,

I Will Help You

December 7, 1987

Father! I’m not organized! They don’t mind me! The clutter is overwhelming me!

How can you help me? 

For my part: I will wake up at 4:30 to pray, read, walk, and plan. Please help me to go to bed early—9 or 9:30—and help me get up!

I closed my eyes and opened my Bible randomly hoping to land on a special word from my Lord– and got the concordance!

I opened it again and got the introduction to Daniel, which I had not read.

It’s about 4 boys!!!

“Their refusal to be seduced by the pagan world in which they live and the dangers that threaten them because of their faithfulness are the essence of the drama. Their deliverances from the fiery furnace and the lion’s den demonstrate the power and love of God….”

I believe by faith God is telling me:

You have a very important task of setting the course of these boys’ lives. The training of Shadrach, Meshach, Abed-Nego, and Daniel was careful, so that they had such INTEGRITY.

Let this inspire you and motivate you to good works daily, even moment-by-moment, with your four sons.

I will help you.

I love those who love Me, and those who seek Me diligently will find Me. Proverbs 8:17

281 – A Death and a Near Death

281– A Death

and a Near Death

Our friend from Reno, a single man, Jim, had come for a weekend visit in August. We had introduced him to Eva, a single lady on staff at the school. They had seemed to ‘click’ and had stayed in touch.

November 29, 1987

Yesterday Pastor Dave called to say that Jim died in Brazil on his mining trip. We are slowly getting over the shock and trying to get in touch with Eva. I sought the Lord and He gave me:

Let not your heart be troubled…. In My Father’s house are many mansions….I go and prepare a place for you. John 14: 2-3

As unsettling as sudden death is, Jim is safe with Jesus and I am not to worry. But grieving is good. We weep with those who weep. This was so jarring and upsetting and we will miss our friend so much. It seemed so wrong. To add to our sorrow, we found out later that there may have been foul play against him.

December 4

Mom called and Dad is in intensive care with a bleeding ulcer. He is in ICU and is so weak that visits must be kept short.

“I want to go home!”

But I cannot. Marsha, Connie, and Aunt Virgi are with Mom. I called Joan, Barb, Donna, Karen, Diane, Eva—to pray! Later Virgi told us the doctor said daddy had lost half of his blood. Praise God for modern medicine and blood transfusions.

Our God is the God of salvation; and to God the Lord belong escapes from death. Psalm 68:20

Why did one dear person die and one dear person live?

I have learned to put questions like this in a Mystery box. God will reveal the answers at some point in this life or in eternal life. I do not have to understand everything. For my sanity, my part is to trust Him without wavering. Every thing will become clear.

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23

276 -Still Working Something Out with Jesus

276 – Still Working Something Out with Jesus

August 28, 1987

The pain continues over whether Tim is going to Christian or public school. Dan and I prayed yesterday before he went to work, and talked, and I don’t feel QUITE so uptight.

And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice, and yielded up His spirit. Matthew 27:50

I know my God will save me, He is faithful. He can change any situation into a blessing as He pleases. The results of putting Tim in public school, as I give up my spirit and my will, could be absolutely wonderful. It could result in relationships and conversions that lead to salvations that absolutely could not happen otherwise.

August 29

Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who has been crucified. Matthew 28:5

The disciples were paralyzed with fear, but their fears were calmed by God.

Then Jesus said to them, Do not be afraid… Matthew 28:10

I have been praying and little by little I have received peace.

And You are saying this to me. I hear You, my Lord.

Make it real to me, Jesus. Love me in the way I need to be loved, and have it make sense to me. Encourage me by giving me unshakable faith and peace and joy. I really need You. This is a trial of my faith and I know You will be faithful.

273 – Interrogation

273 – Interrogation 

August 19, 1987

Bema was an 80 year old woman who lived in a cute green house with yellow-trimmed shutters directly across the street from us. She was Leslie’s and Julie’s mother, and the boys’ friend Chris’s grandmother. The daughters would gather daily to visit with their mom on the small patio. Bema and I really liked each other and oftentimes she would venture an opinion.

Yesterday Bema brought us home from Bingo at the rest home and voiced her concerns about homeschooling. She had decided that third grade was getting over my head when I‘d only taught first grade. What about preparation time and having the kids underfoot all day, every day?

I told her that I’d taught first, second, and third grades, and said just the right things, thank the Lord. I was surprised and caught off guard, but did not get defensive.

Just then Markie fell in the street while crossing it to get to our house. Praise God. I was forced, I should say– I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY, to leave the uncomfortable situation quickly.

Later in the evening Leslie came over with more questions about homeschooling. She had been sitting with Bema and Julie on Bema’s patio, probably chitchatting about us! I felt quizzed and uncomfortable. They were prying and I was trying to act like a Christian. This small town living is having its challenges.

Their concern was the prevailing attitude of the 80’s: how can a mom be smart enough and together enough to teach her kids at home, especially when there’s a bunch of them and they are all ages. AND how audacious are you to keep your children at home when they need the socializing that school offers.

All I knew was that the Lord had led me very clearly, Dan had agreed (reluctantly at first, but then wholeheartedly) and God had given me the verse: And when he brings out his own sheep,  he goes before them; and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice.  John 10:5

We did not want the boys to follow just any voice.

I had felt assurance that Jesus was with us in this endeavor.

272 – God Always Meets Me

272 -God Always Meets Me

August 13, 1987

I was in a deep quandary about homeschooling. I cried out to my Lord:

Be gracious to me, O Lord, for to Thee I cry ALL DAY LONG. In the day of my trouble I shall call upon Thee’ for Thou wilt answer me. There is NO ONE like Thee among the gods, O Lord; nor are there any works like Thine. Psalm 86:3,7

Mike, dean of married students, made an appointment to meet with us and came to our house. He asked us to be home group leaders. He also wanted to discuss homeschooling. Last year a homeschool family had caused havoc and ended up in court! He loves our testimony of homeschooling and he said that Elim would back our decision to homeschool UNLESS it went against the school district’s recommendations (which is what the other family had done). Here’s the rub: because of their scores on the SAT test, the district wanted Tim and Steve enrolled. I told Mike and he and Dan agreed it would be a good idea to enroll the boys in September. I was horrified.

I went to the Lord, crying, pouring out my heart to the Lord, trying to wrap my head around sending my sons away to school. (The school was in reality just a short walk across the field behind our house).

Then I went to the Word. Nothing really made clear sense in Matthew 10 and 11 that I could relate to our situation. Then the Lord met me with His words:

Matthew 12:25 Any kingdom divided against itself is laid waste; and any city or house divided against itself cannot stand.

Matt 14:25 TAKE COURAGE, IT IS I, DO NOT BE AFRAID!

We can not afford to send the boys to Christian school. So it was important that I surrender and not cause havoc in our home by my stubbornness. I needed to give in, honor my husband, and trust God for our sons’ welfare. And I needed to not be fearful but trust Him.

This brought clarity and the peace of the Holy Spirit. Not that I did not waffle in the days ahead–I did, and so did Dan.

271 – Free Travel, Vending Machines and Law Suits

271 – Free Travel, Vending Machines, and Lawsuits

July 31, 1987

We just got back from two full weeks in Reno. Jan and Jim sold their vacation trailer and took up a collection at church to pay for our family’s plane tickets. WOW! We were humbled. Bob and Janet were on vacation and gave us their house to use! To top it off my parents came to town for a 3-day visit. We saw friends and family; we were loved and gave love.

August 10

We came back to Livonia to the reality of three lawsuits: Dan’s passenger, Brian; the owner of the Hostess Cupcake truck; and Elizabeth the driver of the truck.

I read in Matt 5:40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also.

It was God’s word, and amazing that I ‘just happened’ to read it today.

But it was not very comforting.

August 14

On a family outing we stopped in a gas station along the highway. Inside the bathroom some obscene materials were offered for sale from a vending machine. I felt conscience-bound to call the corporate head of the gas station company for making the materials available.

I wrote out what I was going to say and respectfully told the top-guy my concerns.

Once I cried spontaneously (for the children who have seen this type of machine in a public place). The man I was talking to said, “I understand, believe me!” I followed up with a letter and included the gospel message. I felt so free and relieved afterward.

270 – At the End Again

270 – At the End Again

April 22, 1987

We find ourselves once again at the END.

Dan’s drafting work has ended. 

No other jobs have come up. He’s made calls to newspaper ads.

I’ve been praying for two days–You are our ONLY HOPE, Jesus–

*for a job for Dan

*for money for groceries on Friday

*for rent in 1 1/2 weeks

*for paying bills

*for Dan to get pants –he’s wearing the insulated ones his mom sent for Christmas

*for shoes for Dan–he’s wearing his dress shoes around the house

around noon…I went to prayer, felt a great need, burdened by the flesh and heavy. I needed to commune with my Savior. I asked Him to speak and help me to believe He was speaking. I saw Jesus, then the cross, then Jesus. I heard Him say: “I went to the cross and came off the cross so you could have life. I give you My life today–don’t worry about the future, even tomorrow. Give My life away. There’s more for tomorrow.”

He met me at the end, which wasn’t really the end at all.

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we may boldly say: “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” Hebrews 13:5-6