132- I’ve Got My Rights, You Know!

132- I’ve Got My Rights,

You Know!

December 17,1984

I just want what You’ve promised me:

Psalm 113:9 He makes the barren woman abide in the house, as a JOYFUL MOTHER OF CHILDREN.

I want JOY!

Ps 116:5-9 Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; yes, our God is compassionate. The Lord preserves the simple; I was brought low, and He saved me. Return to your rest O my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you. For You have rescued my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. I shall walk before the Lord in the land of the living.

I want You to save me, rescue me, and deal bountifully with me!

My flesh, OLD MAN, is on the throne. I’ve got this ache and this ailment and this Christmas is NOT working out like I think it should. 

“I haven’t”

“I can’t”

“I don’t have”

“I’ve got my rights you know”

…so I’ll throw my tantrum by withdrawing. I’ll be angry when people break in on my sacred space. And yet, this demeanor does not allow the entrance of the Holy Spirit with His peace, joy, love, self-control, etc.

Come, Lord Jesus, come to me!

131- Endure it? Or–Face It and Smash It!

131- Endure It?

Or – Face It and Smash It!

December 12, 1984

2 Corinthians 1:8 we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength…

This is how I feel. Barely able to go on. Everything has overwhelmed me. I am confused and of course guilty-feeling that as a ten year old Christian I cannot cope with my daily life. Bought vitamins today—they will take a few days to take effect. Exercise, very good nutrition, and an acceptance of my condition. I need discipline that I do not of myself possess to keep eating right and walking daily. I am putting my trust in You, Jesus.

*Awesome verse from Susie this morning: Nahum 1:7 The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, and He knows those who trust Him.

December 14

1 Peter 4:6-7 Humble yourselves therefore, under the mighty hand of God that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all our anxiety on Him for He cares for you.

December 15

*from a fortune cookie at Pastor’s ministry dinner last night:

Psalm 37:11 The meek shall inherit the earth and shall delight …in the abundance of peace.

*from the calendar for Friday:

Isaiah 29:19 The meek also shall increase their joy in the Lord, and the poor among men shall rejoice in the Holy One of Israel.

*meek meaning humble

Several days ago I felt drawn to Exodus 34 regarding Moses before the Lord on behalf of the children of Israel. I put verses 5-16 up by the sink. As I was reading it, doing the dishes, it occurred to me that the troubles I’ve been having could be in order to drive out the ‘ites’ in me. He says make no covenants. I wonder if saying I have PMS is binding me to it, when I could smash it!

Also, my jaw was aching awfully; sang and prayed the boys’ prayers at bedtime. I was really relieved.

Jenny is troubled very similarly, hormonally. She said it’s spiritual, don’t look for an out. Face God with it. [Although a few months later she went to a PMS clinic in California and received vitamins and hormone therapy.]

130- I Accept Your Mercies

130- I Accept Your Mercies

December 11, 1984

2 Corinthians 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort-

*the Father of mercies – my Bible says: this is His job and His joy

*the God of all comfort – all means ALL – when I need it, He’s got it

v 4 who comforts us in all our affliction

*once again, all means all

*affliction refers to trouble and calamity

2 Timothy 3:16-17 All scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.

The Bible is inspired by God for everything I need. 

 am God’s born again child.

The Bible is true.

Every word is Spirit-breathed – 2 Timothy 3:16

None of my trouble, then, is out of His interest.

ALL means ALL. I receive Your comfort, Father.

Lamentations 3:22-23 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.

I receive Your mercy—new every morning 

With great gratefulness. Humbly.

Because proudly I cannot receive.

When I am proud I do not see my need.

And if I do…I do not ask.

When my flesh and the devil say God has put up with me all He can and I’m on my own, help me remember this verse, Father. 

Self-diagnosis: PMS was the pop ailment of the day, and I had all of the symptoms. Dan said I could get whatever I needed in the way of food and vitamins. This was answered prayer.

A few days ago I wanted to comfort Mark. He held tightly to his blankie, which he calls his “wankily” and would not accept my love. I saw that You must be so crushed when we turn away from Your offered love.

 

129- Busy Days and Bleak Moods

129- Busy Days and Bleak Moods

August – November, 1984

Every room in the solar house had large windows. It was open and bright and full of light. Even on gray days, we could watch the configurations of the clouds moving across the great expanse of sky.

Standing on the coffee table was allowed. Timmy and Steve are watching the snowy weather on a blizzardy afternoon. Mark is absorbed with something else.

In contrast, the Grandview house was not grand at all. It was in a subdivision and had only a few skimpy windows. My friends Jan and Susan volunteered and pitched in to help me clean, but the landlord would not allow us to paint. The house was north facing and the walls were gray and dreary and the natural light was dim. It became a depressing place for me.

My saved calendars showed that we kept up our active life. Three days after we moved, I packed up the boys and drove Tim to a church in Sparks where he enthusiastically went to Vacation Bible School every morning for a week. Then we visited my parents and family in southern California for a week.

We were a few blocks from the city park which hosted the annual hot air balloon races.

We took a 24-hour family vacation at River Rest Resort in ___. PICTURE

Dan worked long hours at the church building project, like 50, and later 60. We went to Sunday morning, Sunday night church, and joined a class and Wed Bible study in friends’ homes.

In October, 1984, Mark was hospitalized for possible thyroid pills overdose. I had gone into the bathroom and found that Dan’s pill bottle was open, the contents spilled (no child locks then). We could not determine how many had fallen down the heater vent and how many Mark might have ingested. He acted normal. Dan rushed our 2 1/2 year old to the ER and I called the church prayer chain. I wish I could remember the man’s name who prayed with me. He professed with perfect confidence that Jesus is the healer, prayed Bible verses, and affirmed that Mark would suffer no ill effects. He proclaimed that Jesus had intervened and that it would be as if the event had never happened. Mark never exhibited any adverse symptoms and was released after three days. I truly believe the Lord stepped in through the man’s faith-filled dynamic prayers.

Nancy sent perfect little red capes that she had sown for the boys so they could play Superman, and we used them for their Halloween costumes over their long underwear.

We had a harvest party every year at church. This is one of my all-time favorite pictures of our precious boys.

My calendar notes show that we had the family Christmas dinner at our place. That meant eight extra people–and I’m sure that brought a lot of stress!

My journaling appears to have decreased sharply soon after we moved to Grandview. I am missing almost three months of devotional pages. That journal/binder is old and the rings are wobbily and some pages may have fallen out. OR it could be that I was feeling old and wobbily and overwhelmed, and did not pursue the Lord with diligence. When the dated pages resume, they have skimpy notes and there is no record of any interaction with the Lord, just scattered verses and quotes from books. Another notebook has notes from sermons, so I was getting to church. Besides recovering from the great disappointment of not moving into what we felt was the next phase of our calling to Japan, my hormones were probably drastically depleted and going crazy because of six years of pregnancies and nursing babies. I was worn down and my moods were bleak.

128- Following God’s Trail – #10

128- Following God’s Trail – #10

July 1, 1984 Father, I am having a hard time believing YOU are asking us to stay in Reno. PLEASE SHOW ME.

I am having a hard time trusting You with our finances, and in finding very suitable housing here in Reno, and in finding a kindergarten acceptable for Tim. You promise to gently lead those who are with young. I am letting it all go and believing Your Word.

Here’s the story: Dan had been working for several months with the contractor on the new building for our church. It was full-time work and they worked well together.

Two of the elders went to him independently and both felt strongly from the Lord that the timing of our going off to Bible School was premature.

The pastor offered him the job of foreman.

We prayed and fasted seeking the Lord.

We handed over the keys of our solar house to Peter and Marilyn Clarke and instead of driving 3,000 miles east across the country, we drove 5 miles west to a house in a quiet subdivision on Grandview Avenue. The rent was more than we wanted to spend but we were under pressure to find a place quickly. It was within a few miles of the church and in the same area of town we had been living for 2 years.

There was an elementary school across the street which had a very good reputation. I had been prepping Timmy: “Your teacher will love you. You are such a smart and cooperative boy. She will be so happy to have you in her class. Teachers love children who will work with them, obey them, and who want to learn.”

As it happened, they did not have room for my precious first born, and I was actually relieved. I had been reading, School Can Wait, by Raymond and Dorothy Moore.

July 22, 1984—Our 6th anniversary.

On our 6th anniversary, our sons were 5, 4, 2, and one month old. We had moved 7 times, including living in two foreign countries for short periods. Dan was 36 and I was 39.

We were crushed. All of our plans had been put on hold. We had laid down our vision for Japan and for Bible School, and we were in some subsidiary plan. God knew.

We believed we had been led by God to this point of surrender. We learned later that we were experiencing “the death of a vision.”

I went to google to get an explanation of the death of a vision and found a good one at http://www.thegoodbook.com. Pastor Cecil Thompson writes:

We are all fired up when the vision is fresh and new, but almost without warning things explode. Instead of seeing our vision fulfilled, it is like death has destroyed the vision. “What do we do now?”

Reeling, floundering…what’s going on, God? We were hastily trying to pull ourselves together after the explosion! We knew we had heard from the Lord and walked with God to this point. All of the other “visions” and “God ideas” had come to pass, so what was this all about?

We believed by faith that God had specific purpose in letting us be deflated. We did not believe God was capricious, impulsive, and unpredictable. We decided to trust Him.

But we also had to regroup quickly!

Spoiler: We DID go to Elim Bible Institute two years later. And we could clearly see the wisdom in the delay.

127- Following God’s Trail – #9

127- Following God’s Trail – #9

June 12 –My new doctor, I found out, is controversial. Karen’s friend had a bad experience with him. He seemed so nice and cooperative. We made an appointment for Friday induction and delivery, 6:30am.

June 13 –Jackie S offered to take our three boys on Friday!

Heard from Life (missionary organization)—they don’t take a couple that has divorce in their history to Japan. Ps 44:3 is working for us—His FAVOR is moving on our behalf.

For they did not gain possession of the land by their own sword, nor did their own arm save them; but it was Your right hand, Your arm, and the light of Your countenance, because You favored them.

Heard from another Bible School, but we are already taken!

June 14 –FAITHFUL IS HE WHO CALLS YOU, AND HE ALSO WILL BRING IT TO PASS. 1 Thessalonians 5:24 Need I say more?

During this season I was reading: Andrew Murray, Basilea Schlink, Keith & Melodie Green’s Last Days’ Ministries newsletter, Don Bashama (Face Up with a Miracle), Dorrie Aldrich (Musings of a Mother),  Alan Redpath (Victorious Christian Living), Oswald Chambers, Bible.

June 15 –At the hospital: Dan and I had the leisure to pray for several hours, as a very kind Christian nurse supervised the induction procedure and increased the pitocin very very slowly. Daniel George [my father is George] was 9 pounds. The idea to deliver early was the right one! And God was gracious to give me ladies to stand with me so that it happened!

Timmy, Stevie, and Mark visited their new brother in the hospital.

Sweet baby Daniel was born with very bowed legs and two hours after he was born his legs were put in casts! [The casts remained on his legs for 6 weeks and his legs turned out perfectly. Praise God for the wonders of medical science and for competent doctors and nurses.]

Peggy took the 3 boys on Monday and brought a roast beef dinner when she brought them home! Karen came every day to do laundry and pick up and wash dishes, to make sure I kept my legs elevated. The doctor was concerned about the veins in my legs and prescribed compression nylons. Gramma and Auntie, who were our next door neighbors, also popped in to help. Susie took the kids on Tues morning, then Lynn came by and took them overnight! Jenny took them on Thursday and Dan was home on Friday. Michelle took the boys two separate days the next week.

We had a strong group of friends and faithful prayer warriors. We knew we were blessed. 

126- Following God’s Trail – #8

126- Following God’s Trail – #8

June 1 –Although we sold our house for $8,000 less than the appraisal, bought a car we cannot afford, have not gotten the obstetrician I wanted, the peace of God is totally meeting me. It’s wonderful. We’re in a dimension of faith that is far beyond us. We have over-extended ourselves in faith. We are in His grace. Yet, I can’t think too hard about the new car. It’s done. Dan agrees. We have to rest and trust Him.

A few hours later, Reno Dodge called for us to return the car!! It had already been sold to another man who was irate when he came to pick it up and it wasn’t there. OH NO! But what a relief! Dan said when he prayed last night, wondering if we’d done the right thing, he’d felt God had said, “There’s a way out.”

This was amazing. We learned some valuable lessons without a tragic mistake. The air cleared and we could see that the car was not big enough and not gutsy enough. Praise Jesus—You saved us once again!

June 2 –packed boxes, called mom about selling the house and told her the car story.

June 3 –people in my Bible study are praying about my doctor’s stand-in ob/gyn and the house sale and the car!

The reason having baby number 4 early was so important to me is that my babies increased in size: #1 almost 8 lbs, #2 almost 9 lbs, #3 was 10 pounds. I wanted #4 to be more in the 8-9 pound range. My lady friends were taking up my cause and praying for the doctor to say okay to an early delivery!

Dan did a devotional at the church property, excellent! Praise God.

June 4 – worried about taking a newborn baby across the country in July. All the boys will have just had their birthdays: Tim 5, Steve 4, Mark 2.  Did not get into the Word today—it shows.

Dan did finances—bummed out. “God, if You want us to go to NY we will need to raise support here and I will have to work there.”

Met the on-call doctor since mine will be out of town at the time of the birth – professional, caring, compassionate. He will deliver ten days early.

HH at Elders’ meeting told Dan to “go home and ask God if you made a mistake on house sale.” (taking such a loss). He thinks God is able to deliver us from a bad decision, like He delivered us from the bad decision on the car! We do feel we were hasty, so we are before the Lord.

June 5 – I fell down out by rabbit cage two times! The second time it felt like I was PUSHED! Shaken and very worried about my baby. Called Karen to pray. Dan prayed. Worried. Called doctor. No spotting. Rested.

June 7 – Bob & Berta came by wanting advice—they are pursuing YWAM. They prayed about everything with us and we prayed for them!

June 9—signed escrow papers.

June 10 – Woke up before 5 and began thinking. BAD. Got uptight. Finally went to the Word. I felt very clearly led to psalms and felt that Ps 71:6 will be our baby’s testimony: By You I have been sustained from my birth; You are He who took me from my mother’s womb; my praise is continually of You.

June 11 –When I got up at 5:30am my Bible was opened to our guest speaker’s text yesterday at church: Isaiah 35:6b-7a For waters shall burst forth in the wilderness, and streams in the desert. The parched ground shall become a pool, and the thirsty land springs of water. Speaker said revival is coming to this valley very soon.

What am I to do with this Lord? You know our lives are before You. We would change our plans if we thought You wanted us to stay here more than going to NY. Speak, Lord, Your servant is listening.

Dan and I prayed both morning and evening – long prayers.

125- Following God’s Trail – #7

125- Following God’s Trail – #7

May 6 –at church, Sandy M prayed: “The Lord has touched your babies. He assured me that He will be there to supervise the delivery. He told me to tell you.”

May 8 –open house, a few came. I will not be discouraged because God is merciful and He is perfect in His timing. He has purposes to fulfill. I purpose to trust Him.

May 12 –car fire! Our Nova station wagon caught on fire in the grocery store parking lot. Very strange. No one was hurt.

May 20 –open house, two couples, both interested.

May 23 –to Lynn’s for Lamaze breathing practice.

May 25 –very tense day: Elim guy never called. I was under pressure to get this house ready for possible realtors’ visits before the boys and I left for Michele’s Bible study for the morning. Feeling overwhelmed. Karen called—the Lord told her it was urgent that she call me. Praise God. She prayed, I cried, and the tension broke and my perspective changed. After dinner, much baby activity. Continuous Braxton Hicks for 1 hour. Wore me out!

May 28 –recognized fear, uncertainty, lack of faith about baby’s birth. Cried out to the Lord. My resources won’t be sufficient—no confidence in the doctor, etc. I thought hard about God, but couldn’t really get ahold of Him. I thought—how can I have success? Joshua 1:8 came to mind. Decided to use my NAS Bible with the topical index. I had just bought a spiral notebook. Looking up verses on the favor of God and the faithfulness of God. Will meditate daily on them. Dan wants to read them with me. Together we will see our Lord work.

May 29 –I got up early for devotions and prayer. Meditated on my scriptures in my spiral notebook. My faith was built. Elim guy called and we have a house for $300 a month beginning in August in NY.

May 30 –A realtor, called saying the artist couple, the Clarke’s, are very interested in buying our house.

May 31 –Dan set himself to pray. He said: “God what if they offer us $92,000?” THEY DID! He felt God said, “Just sell.”

Signed the agreement to sell. They will call us back tomorrow if they agree with our date changes.

The car fire had sidelined our car. We went to a lot and bought a car. We were all out till 11:30pm.

We felt God’s grace and blessing. Dodge Colt Vista. Seven passenger. But it doesn’t FEEL like seven passenger and there is so little trunk area. Trying not to argue.

124- Following God’s Trail – #6

124- Following God’s Trail – #6

April 7, 1984 –On this sunny day, cleaned inside and outside the house. Looks great!

Lynn’s friends came by and are interested in our house. The situation seems impossible to us.

April 9 –told a lady at the gas station that I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

April 13 – We are ready to put an ad in the paper. (Dan is wanting to do this sale on our own and skip realtor fees.)

Lynn called and her friends are still interested and will look again on Monday, so we will wait on putting the ad in the paper.

Joshua 2 in devotions. Very interesting how God leads, how God rescues His own, and the people He uses to help His people.

April 16Confess I got my expectation up today that the house will sell, we will have money in our pockets, and another car in front of the house, and be on our way to Oxnard to visit my parents. I was irritable though and Carol fervently prayed with me against irritability, discontent, anger, worry. PEACE came immediately.

God is showing me I can live in the flesh or in the Spirit – it’s my choice. “What are you going to settle for, Georgann?”  It takes such determination to stand against the world, the flesh and the devil. But my prayer to love God without compromise is paying off.

April 17 – Might get to have baby early.

April 22 –I thought, why not use a realtor? It seemed like a God thought. It brought me release and peace. Dan thought about it and felt the same. This is a HUGE attitude reversal for him.

It’s Easter Sunday: Twenty-five people were saved at church today! The anointing came on the pastor about 2/3 of the way through his sermon.

April 23I cannot give away what I do not have. Give me MORE, Jesus: insights, compassion, faith with works. As I think of Your omnipotence, omnipresence, omniscience, peace floods over me. You DO know everything that we are going through, You DO have the power that we need, that we do not have, to accomplish what You have called us to do.

April 26 –The realtor came over. I am bowing out of this, I am too changeable. I will let Dan do it.

April 28 – Tim’s birthday. Jackie invited us all to dinner. She had a cake and a gift for Tim. Marsha sent McDonald’s coupons, Connie sent Sesame Street tickets.

Synopsis of last couple of weeks since I have not been writing daily: Beth was here in town for a week. Elim housing guy called and has 2 houses available. I wrote a story for Guideposts magazine and sent it off. We completed the pre-admit for Saint Mary’s hospital.