169- Needs Met!

169- Needs Met!

November 29, 1985

Jesus is MY PERSONAL Savior as well as the PERSONAL Savior of each one in the world.

Therefore I have the RIGHT to come before His throne

-with praises and thanksgiving and sonship

-boldly with confidence

I rebuke any unbelief in my heart, in Jesus’ name.

I have asked You for $126 for the beginning-to-read ACA program. It has not come.

Believing Your provision comes with Your will, I ask for $100 for some books I would like to order for Timmy from Hewitt-Moore.

This way we could cover more subject areas—science, social studies, reading, math, art, phonics.

ANSWERED PRAYER!

December 5, 1985

We went to Carol’s to visit, fellowship in the Lord, discuss home school. She had been thinking urgently about Timmy’s schooling, she said “last week”.

While she was talking to me about it an idea come to her to GIVE me the 6 or 7 sets of reading books she had just received!

Also she gave me a social studies syllabus called My America which will cover Social studies wonderfully for all the boys. WHERE GOD LEADS, GOD PROVIDES.

YOU amaze me, Lord. You put the need on both our hearts, then allowed Carol to be a blessing and for us to be blessed! Bless You, praise You. Wonderful Savior.

168- When I Repent, He Listens

168- When I Repent,

He Listens

November 21, 1985 – 5:15am, by the grace of God—also up early yesterday

Good experience at nap time of mending, praying, praying in prayer language. I did not FEEL that I was accomplishing anything. But I saw such a difference in my attitude later! Praise Jesus!

Also- insight (Tuesday night). Through something I read, and an experience of conversation with Dan, I saw that I really am possessive with him. Made me see how really insecure I am. Made me think about home school and how much of ME was involved in not deciding on a curriculum. Did I really want to do it myself from our own resources?

I repent of possessiveness regarding Dan and each boy.

I let go by my will. I desire to trust Your sovereign hand in each of our lives.

I repent of relying on my own resources to teach Tim. I humbly ask that You bring me the curriculum that would best suit Timmy (learning) and me (teaching). I thank You for forgiving me whenever I acknowledge my sin. I thank You for your continual love and conviction. I desire to walk before You in holiness and purity and faith.

I release myself to trust You regarding the boys’ friends and experiences.

I confess fear and insecurity and power struggling with You. I confess this because of a TINY possible voice saying it could be true.

When You said through Joyce to let go of the reins and KathyS had the Moses passage—I struggled and analyzed and thought and prayed. But I did not just say: You are God, I trust these prophetic utterances and I lay myself down and repent by faith. I still have no gut indication that this is true, but only faith. I do this now.

I pray for the following

*Dan’s ministering

*my ministering

*our ministry together

*home school curriculum

*the boys’ friendships, experiences

*Wed night area meeting

*Ladies’ Bible study

*listening to friends’ voices that have overpowered me….

Psalm 37:5 Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.

166- Accepted and Loved

166- Accepted and Loved

November 18, 1985

Up at 5:15am by the grace of Jesus.

Streams in the Desert, p. 332: My environment is of His determining. He means it to intensify my faith, to draw me into nearer communion with Himself, to ripen my power. In the dungeon my soul should prosper. Luke 7:23 And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me.

I asked for a repentant heart, waking up with a bad dream, accusations on my mind, and failures on my mind.

The Luke scripture led me to what Dan shared from the meeting on Thursday night: the woman washing Jesus’ feet with her tears, drying them with her hair, and anointing them with perfume.

He accepted her, he loved and cherished and forgave her. He even defended her before those who questioned her sanctification. Luke 7:36-50

Woman washing Jesus’ feet with her tears and drying them with her hair.

Oh, God, that these experiences in my life would tenderize my heart and give me compassion for others.

164- Confessed, Repented, and Received!

164- Confessed, Repented, and Received!

November 11, 1985

I fasted, except for two cups of bouillon, coming to God several times today.

Dan was home last night and ½ of today. Nice to have him here, but he is antsy to be working.

In my prayer time I felt so superficial, so under condemnation, and convicted of selfishness and impatience.

Also—another person in our church has hepatitis. Dan is very concerned. Both of the men (and one’s wife) that are stricken have health insurance and solid jobs. Dan is without any health insurance and between jobs.

I surrendered and prayed for everyone’s health and asked God to speak to me, inspire and instruct me. Baby woke up several times at night, and I feel like God used that, too, to keep me praying.

It occurred to me clearly that I’m to be a praising person—because the Bible says to, because Jesus is worthy of my praises, because He inhabits the praises of His people.

And we need His presence.

If I could, by His wonderful grace, become a praising person, my mind would be filled up with Him instead of with both self-deprecating and self-exalting thoughts.

I confessed not liking myself, realizing clearly deep in my Spirit that He made me—He formed me in my mother’s womb; He fashioned me, He’s had His hand on my life. Psalm 139:13a, 16b

I confessed speaking ill of the boys. When Timmy over heard me saying: “I got to go shopping without them” he said, “don’t you like to take us shopping? Is it easier without us?” I was crushed that I had confused my dear son. What an insult to speak that negative thing as if they were not there. See my need, Lord? Help! I am so sorry.

I need an attitude overhaul. I need to be filled with Jesus, overflowing with His Spirit.

By giving it to God and spilling it all out before Him, I feel encouraged!

November 14

I feel that because I confessed and repented of not liking myself and speaking rashly –that I got filled up! Now it’s Thursday and I have been so full of the presence of God since Monday and Tuesday…

It’s wonderful. At times I’m free and joyful, but mostly I’m warm, near tears, aware of God’s presence. You meet the broken-hearted, sweet Jesus!

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 38:18 NIV

162- God Keeps Loving Me

162- God Keeps Loving Me

November 4, 1985

In an intercessory prayer letter a man testified that he had been at a point where he felt he did not have anybody on his side, even his wife. God had stripped away his entire support system, isolated him in the midst of a busy life. Yet during that season he made the most important decision of his life. He decided God was enough.

Lord, I feel like I’m in and out of that position. When we had to give up our dream of going to Bible school in NY the disappointment devastated me. My life was shaken up, friends left me, I left friends—they moved away or we just fell away from each other. I quit everything. But You were enough! You saw me through my sadness. After that I accepted that Dan was doing Your work at the church for hours and hours every day. And again. You blessed me with so much grace to get through it. You truly are enough!

And You just keep loving me no matter dips and snags happen in our relationship.

Jan came over on Saturday to watch my kids while I went to the store. She read my Streams in the Desert devotional and my Bible. She rested in You. She has had a great desire to do daily devotions but just hasn’t taken the leap. Being here today she has been in touch with You. She is radiant. Bless You! That she experienced You HERE is a gift that I will always cherish.

Later she said on the phone—“I’ve always said of Georgann, “how does she do it?” But now I know. You draw your strength from Jesus daily.

Later, I felt the Lord say of Streams—this is something you can read and understand in your mind without My Spirit’s anointing. Go back to reading the Word and My Spirit will anoint it for you, to teach you and to comfort you. Get back to reading the Bible.

November 5

Boys up in the night, sick with croup, etc.

Today, Steve and Mark are sick, Tim is recovering.

I got up at 6 to go on my walk– 30 minutes. Good prayer time.

It was a GOOD day. School went WELL for Tim – 1 hour.

Put Daniel in the play pen—new idea.

Mark feeling quite sick, so I called the doctor: humidifier, cough medicine, Tylenol.

I kept my cool. Jesus was glorified!

Your grace has been sufficient, Your love has been enough!!

158- Where is the Music of Life?

158- Where is the Music of Life?

September 28, 1985

This was my day: pressures, then self-pity, then peace–as I did it God’s way.

Pressures, problems, advice, frustration, more problems, impatience, self-hate, crying, EXPLOSION!

Pity, accusations, anger, self-hate, crying, guilt, horror, no escape—BUT IN HIM!!

Remorse, repentance, cleansing, crying, peace, rest, yieldedness, His will, His way, His Word.

And then I read my devotional.

Streams in the Desert, p. 282 IT IS YOUR MISSION, tested and tried one, TO WALK OUT ON THE STAGE OF THIS WORLD AND REVEAL TO ALL EARTH AND HEAVEN THAT THE MUSIC IS NOT IN THE CONDITIONS, NOT IN THE THINGS, NOT IN EXTERNALS, BUT THE MUSIC OF LIFE IS IN YOUR OWN SOUL.”

Oh, Savior, I felt that was a precious Word for me from You. I really needed a tender word of encouragement and UNDERSTANDING. And You gave it. Thank You so much. Bless You. Bless You.

John 16:33 These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.

I was carrying that music into the evening when we saw two friends who were once strong Christians. Unfortunately the spirit of rebellion that was inhabiting Lora came to me trying to make me angry and to entice me into doing what she is doing, which is hating God and all Christians!

Afterward, Dan prayed for me strongly. I agreed with his prayers and also prayed my complete willingness to be free of that spirit and to wholeheartedly go God’s way.

Unlike the last two or three big trials of this nature, this temptation lasted minutes! –while the others lasted days or weeks! Victory in Jesus. And the music returned to my soul!

157- Bee Stings and Milking Barns

157- Bee Stings and

Milking Barns

September 25, 1985

A day only has so many hours in it. This day held a barrage of interruptions: 

*My goal was to go to Jenny’s house at 10.

*My goal also was getting some home schooling done for Tim, starting about 9:15.

*I slept in till 7am. First mistake!

*While on the phone with a strong personality, Daniel cut his lip with his teeth by falling in the bathroom. I hung up and called back two times to tend to him.

*Joyce called at 10 to check on answered prayer. I was supposed to be at Jenny’s so I told her I would call her another time.

*Immediately after I hung up Bev appeared at the door! I began fixing a snack for everyone and tea for us (I decided to just give in and enjoy this friend), and Jackie called!

*Then Dan came home! He encouraged me proceed with the schedule and to go to my friend’s, so we got to Jenny’s at 11:15.

*For some excitement the boys stirred up a bee’s nest and 3 of the seven boys got two stings each! It was a little rowdy and quite scary but we were so grateful for just a few stings, and that the babies did not get stung.

*We came home for a quick lunch, the boys rested, then it was time for the milking barns field trip!

*Dan kept Daniel. It was a wonderful trip.

*At 5:30 Dan called and had received tickets for the Silverwind concert from the airplane friend. [no grudge there!]

*Dan picked up a friend’s daughter to babysit.

*We praised God that His wonderful grace had met us at every step of this crazy day!

*The boys loved Kathy, the sitter, and she loved them.

*At the concert we got to praise our God loudly and wonderfully long-ly! I praised Him for LIFE! I got to release my thanks for sparing us catastrophe! Bless You, God!

To God belongs escapes from death. Psalm 68:20