231 – Organized and Praising

231 – Getting Organized and Praising Jesus

November 17, 1986

Last week I was able to surrender organizing the house, I had been harping on it in prayer and grinding and striving about it in my mind. And then He came through for me. Praise the Lord!

I made a special trip to the campus book store to get the book Dan had heard about in a chapel service this week: The Organized Woman. Then on Saturday Dan provided the time and the Lord gave me clarity to work on the kitchen and the mudroom. The mudroom is huge and home to yard tools, winter boots, extra shoes, coats, outside toys, snow toys, washer and dryer, and laundry piles. These are the two rooms I spend my time in the most and that were the MOST important. The play room I had done last week, and it is still organized.

For God is not the author of confusion but of peace…. 1 Corinthians 14:33

I will continue praising and worshiping You today.

Let praises fill this house as You exhorted me 3 years ago. It has been happening. The boys are loving spending time praising You. Their Spirits become immediately joyful!

My lips will shout for joy when I sing praises to You. Psalm 71:23

…and those the Lord has rescued will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away. Isaiah 35:10

230 – I Perceive a Grudge

230 – I Perceive a Grudge

November 14, 1986

Something really ‘clicked’ this morning.

God showed me a great boulder, a stronghold of a GRUDGE against Him, which has transferred to Dan and the boys as discontentment. PRAISE GOD.

The GRUDGE resulted in double-mindedness, which Joyce mentioned briefly a couple of weeks ago that her prayer group had received a revelation about.

This is it: I have not released the standards of the world (something I have always judged in my best friend!). My family has always upheld: security, position, home, money in the bank, nice clothes, nice car, having a comfortable life with the world’s goods.

Jesus says that for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven is very difficult. That it’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Matt 19:23. That just came to mind and it makes a lot of sense.

A huge stronghold, not discernable to me until now, has been forming in me. It has worked against my missionary mindset! It has caused angst. In fact, right this second I see that part of the attraction of going to Japan was because the missionaries we visited there all had quaint comfortable houses and had not FORSAKEN ALL THINGS.

You knew it, Jesus, and that is probably why you let us visit Japan. So I could SEE that I could identify with being there in clean Japan. Not in a dry land in a dusty hut with bugs and cooking over an outside fire. I believe You work with us and that it’s fine if I don’t care to go to the jungle or the tundra.

It’s always embarrassing to realize the depth of my SELF. But it is wonderful to be free of its secret hold on me as God brings it into the open.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Ps 139:23-24

227 -Something Was Not Right

227 – Something Was Not Right

November 3, 1986

Suddenly something was not right with our home group leader. This man had seemed normal and stable. He was well liked. He did well in his classes at the Bible school. Dan admired him. And then one day he seemed to have a break with reality. There was a terrifying episode at the school and it was a very sad event on campus when Jimmy had to be restrained and taken to the hospital. An expanse of prayers went out for both Jimmy and his wife Josie.

Jimmy and Josie shared the two-story Victorian house with us in the village of Livonia, twelve miles from the school. They lived in the smaller one-story parlor, to which had been added a bathroom and a very small kitchen. We shared a connecting door at the base of the stairs. The door was kept locked in order to keep the two residences completely separate and private. (And to keep little boys from running back and forth.) Jimmy and Josie were second- year students and we, of course, were first-year students. They were in their 40’s like Dan and I.

From my journal the next day: Josie came over early this morning to discuss with us her intention of committing Jimmy to an institution. Jimmy was not in agreement and was still not acting in his right mind. We could hear him yelling and objects crashing thunderously. I was crazily worried that he would come bursting through our adjoining door.  

Dan had left for work hours before, and fear came over me big time. The boys helped me gather our school books and cheese and crackers and juice boxes we hurried up the stairs and locked ourselves in the boys’ bedroom! We did not get anything done. We huddled together and sent up some pleas to God to save us and to  protect Josie.

Several hours later Josie let us know that the ambulance had taken Jimmy to a facility. We were all badly shaken. We comforted Josie as best we could. She drove over to the hospital to sign papers then went to the school to talk to the administrators. She ate dinner with us that evening.

I found out two days later that one of the Elim women who led a prayer group on campus, fully aware of Jimmy’s mania, but not aware of our plight that day, had felt strongly to pray for our protection on Monday morning. On Wednesday she came to our house to encourage me and showed me in her journal that her prayers for that day included our names!

Thank You, Jesus! I am so grateful. Joan’s prayers were probably the reason I was not wildly over-reacting to the distress I heard and the distress I felt! Thank You for putting our dilemma on Joan’s heart.

Thank you for delivering us.

Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name. He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. Psalm 91:14-15

The fervent prayer of a righteous (woman) accomplishes much! James 5:16b

224 – A Friend’s Timely Advice

224 – A Friend’s Timely Advice

November 2, 1986

Jenny had been on my mind to call for advice about my crazy, roller-coastering hormones. I had become pregnant on the honeymoon. When we celebrated our 6th anniversary, I had just turned 39 and our fourth son had been born 3 weeks earlier. I experienced only a few weeks in the 6 years where I was not pregnant or nursing. My hormones did not know how to act. I was trying to eat healthy, with no sugar or caffeine at all. I was trying to walk every day and keep my stress down. 

As soon as we walked in the door from church and shopping, the phone rang. It was Pastor Dave in Reno – with Jenny! Neither had called us in New York before. Thank You, Jesus!

Jenny had had a wonderful experience after church that morning and she had been sharing it with the pastor. She had been counseling with two Japanese-speaking women and Dave knew who would really appreciate the story…the ones who hoped to go to Japan someday. We were very excited!

Three hours later Jenny called again to talk about my issue with my hormones. God, You are so faithful. It was such a help to have her understanding and support. She also had 4 children close together and wacky hormonal dips and dives. I have no one here who identifies with me on this, and Jenny was the only one in Reno who ‘got it.’ Validation that one is not c-r-a-z-y is very important.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Ecclesiastes 4:10

221 – Exhorted to Live in His Presence

221 – Exhorted to Live in His Presence

October 15, 1986

I see that the only way we can be gracious and go with the flow is to have come through our  experiences and stressful times being in continual companionship with Jesus.

I got to go to early morning chapel on campus yesterday. It was wonderful and God was present and moving.

Brother Edwards spoke of seeing the Lord’s presence manifested and His manifest presence. I forget which is which.

But as I read in Acts 2 this morning:

22 Jesus the Nazarene, a man attested to you by God with miracles and wonders and signs which God performed through Him in your midst.

25 “For David says of Him, ‘I SAW THE LORD ALWAYS IN MY PRESENCE; FOR HE IS AT MY RIGHT HAND, SO THAT I WILL NOT BE SHAKEN.”

26 ‘THEREFORE [being in His Presence] MY HEART WAS GLAD AND MY TONGUE EXULTED; MOREOVER MY FLESH ALSO WILL LIVE IN HOPE;

28 ‘YOU HAVE MADE KNOWN TO ME THE WAYS OF LIFE; YOU WILL MAKE ME FULL OF GLADNESS WITH YOUR PRESENCE.’

O Lord, My God. In your presence I will not be shaken. In Your presence my heart is glad and I have hope. In Your presence we fellowship and I am full of gladness. I love gladness!

219 – Pity Party

219 – Pity Party

October 14, 1986  -early Tuesday morning, day off school

All I see is their faults and mine – noisy gongs and clanging symbols.

What will God do to revive our love??

I see that I am closed to accepting help. In many ways I am trying to do it all myself.

Relax, Georgann, let loose. Let the Body of Believers, work.

I cannot see God as Big Enough to orchestrate my kids going with other kids (although no one has asked but Leslie, who invited them to a worldly movie (groan)).

And so I carry this burden of bringing up four boys alone day after day.

My desire is that Dan be more available.

But do I just need to let go and let God get more involved? — and ask for some relief?

Actually—Vivian (new neighbor who moved into Josie’s part of our house) babysits every Tuesday night and Angela babysits every Friday night.

Chris Pletcher, age 13, comes over and plays GI Joes and runs around with them outside with them once a week and Nicole comes and helps with Daniel once in a while, too.

It’s just a pity party… giant groan….

216 – Praising Him Makes a Difference

216- Praising Him Makes a Difference

October 5, 1986

Last night Tim, 8, and Stevie, 7, and I went to Elim to watch a missionary movie about Rochunga Podaite, a Moora Indian in northern India. It was called Beyond the Next Mountain.* It was impactful to all of us. It was fun to have a movie night with my wonderful sons.

October 6

Dan left at 6:15 am and will not be home till 10:30 pm.

It has been quite an amazing day of walking with God, being lifted by Him. I’ve been mostly peaceful—flowing with our school day, even making it interesting and not being so hard nose.

PRAISE TO MY GOD!

It’s 9 pm and I still feel awake and interested in reading my Isaiah chapters and then Swindoll’s ‘Serve’ book. Praising lightens the load.

I do believe God’s grace has lifted me—and I do believe the continuing insistence on praising Him has lifted me. May I never stray from singing Your praises. May I live moment by moment with You, My Lord!

*In 1910 a missionary spent only 5 days with the Hmar people who were called the “worst headhunters” of northern India. A few people were saved and one man believed his son could be used by God to bring the Bible to their people. It’s a great story, 1 ½ hours, on YouTube.

* Chuck Swindoll, Improving Your Serve, 1981.

215 – Too Personal too Quickly

215 – Too Personal Too Quickly

October 4, 1986

I saw – in an instant – last night at home group–that I too quickly get very personal with people. It’s like I am saying: “I can see into you, and here’s what I see.” Awkward.

I have known that I do this, but I have gotten reinforced for it, so I thought it was a good thing. People have said I am honest and transparent. I have felt I was validated.

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Philippians 2:3

I see that I need to go slow and let the Holy Spirit lead me carefully. It seems I am always saying words that I would like to put back in my mouth. May that please change, Lord!

Thank You for this insight!

Trust must be built before I become too familiar with people or they just turn me off and decide I am someone to avoid because I could hurt them. That kind of person is seen as threatening and to be avoided. I miss relationships this way.

Keep cleansing me, Jesus. I want to be equipped and fitted for service to You.

213 – Narrow, Then Steeper

213 – Narrow, Then Steeper

October 3, 1986

It was so easy to follow You when I was a new Christian. Walking on the narrow road was such a blessed experience in comparison to the wide and wicked one I had been trodding. For a time, I felt so loved, almost pampered, by You. Seeking You had few distractions. I was set determinedly to please You, know You, and be abandoned to Your will.

Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it. Matthew 7:13-14

But the way, 12 years later, has become much steeper. Each day is an Everest. I am so emotional and impatient with myself, I have been saying—“could this be the way? Surely my Lord could not expect this of His darling daughter.”

The circumstances seem to be beyond my ability to cope. The self-control needed becomes so painful to exert. Gently, I am praying—let me act gently, lovingly with my sons, my husband, and my friends. Make my feet like *hinds’ feet for these high places. Give me opportunity and the heart for prayer time with You. My Lord and My God. Thy Will Be Done.

*referring to Hinds’ Feet on High Places, by Hannah Hurnard–an allegory about Much Afraid on her journey through the Christian life with its perils, challenges and trials. The way is sometimes treacherous but she is transformed as she pursues her goal to know Him and to reach the High Places of Faith. I could identify with her timidity and tentativeness.

212 – More on His Love

212 – More on His Love

September 28, 1986

The Lord is showing me AGAIN that my heaviness, which is a result of analyzing myself and introspection, is putrid. I should spend my thoughts on praising and worshiping HIM. Everything else will take proper perspective and those around me will be encouraged.

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Psalm 150:6

Praise God for forgiveness, for the cross, for the blood shed for me, for Dan, Tim, Stevie, Markie, and Daniel….

September 29

I took a walk on the Livonia Central school grounds. Sweet communion with God. Read Philippians chapter 2 in the Phillips’ version:

Live together in harmony, live together in love, as though you had only one mind and one spirit between you.

Never act from motives of rivalry or personal vanity, but in humility think more of each other than you do of yourselves….

Do all you have to do without grumbling or arguing….

Don’t worry over anything whatever, tell God every detail of your needs in earnest and thankful prayer…and peace will keep and guard you.