256 – Stay or Go Home

256 – Stay or Go Home

February 1, 1987 5am

Dan woke up with a vision of a jar with a vacuum in it—sucking his hands, rendering him helpless. It related to his friend in the mental institution. It struck fear into Dan’s heart. He felt it was definitely a warning to get out of this relationship. We obviously cannot help this friend.

I believe that Dan has been trying to save someone who does not want to be saved. And that this has put us in a place of impotency. It has clouded his present judgment. 

Such a tragic situation for this couple and for the rest of us. But our God restores.

Dan has been talking of leaving Elim in the middle of this semester. He had thought of not signing up for any classes at all so we could leave easily. As he shared this I felt peace though I was a little dismayed at moving on so soon from this wonderful place.

Show us the way, Lord.

Psalm 34:1 I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.

7 The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear Him, and delivers them.

O LORD, lead me in Your righteousness because of my foes; make Your way straight before me. Psalm 5:8

255 – He Must Prune Me

255 – He Must Prune Me

January 24, 1987

By God’s wonderful and bountiful grace, I was 1 ½ hours in prayer from 5-6:30am.

This seems crystal clear:

John 15:2 Every branch that does not bear fruit He takes away – anger, selfishness, egocentricity – and every branch that bears fruit He prunes it that it may bear more fruit,

I see that my ministry with children (in public school) bore fruit—but all of these succeeding years have been a pruning process to get me out of me and into Him so that MORE fruit can come to His glory and honor and use.

Although today he prunes my twigs with pain,

Yet doth his blood nourish and warm my root:

Tomorrow I shall put forth buds again

and clothe myself with fruit.      -Christina Rosetti

253 – We Are Getting Revived

253 – We Are Getting Revived

January 14, 1987 up early

Today I begin my class at Elim, Cults and World Religions, taught by Ruth Rodriquez. I believe she is the only woman on staff here, and she requested to be addressed as Sister Ruth. I have been nervous, but quickly turning to God as I try to imagine how this will be accomplished since I feel I am already over-extended. But just now in prayer I got a confidence and peace from God that He will do it as I pray desperately about all areas and keep it all in His hands. Bless You, Father.

Woman where are they? Did no one condemn you? And she said No one, Lord. And Jesus said, Neither do I condemn you; go your way; from now on sin no more. John 8:10

As I am considering this verse, Jesus does not condemn me—ever, for any reason. I am not to denounce myself. Ever, for any reason. Just take it all to Him.

Later in the evening: I am realizing that my husband and my God have given me a beautiful gift: Tuesday and Thursday mornings away from my routine so I can be at Elim. Studying, being with adults, learning. Today, I felt a little bit like a fish out of water, but I believe I will very quickly get used to being at Elim for my class and then chapel from 11-12. Today chapel was all praising and worshipping. Nice.

January 21

So much has been happening, I cannot record it all. But the Lord is reviving Dan and I.

The verse in Haggai reminded me that our obedience and reverence for the Lord results in the Lord stirring up the spirits of those in our household. (Haggai 1:1-14)

Yesterday at chapel a man from Uganda spoke, encouraging us to not grow weary, to not be satisfied with where we are in Christ. He exhorted us to hunger for a deeper walk. Also, to lay our foundation in Jesus Christ solidly. The church in Uganda is flourishing, sin is diminishing. They are founded in CHRIST.

The stone which the builders rejected has become the chief corner stone. Psalm 118:22

Jesus said to them, “Did you never read in the Scriptures, ‘THE STONE WHICH THE BUILDERS REJECTED, THIS BECAME THE CHIEF CORNERSTONE; THIS CAME ABOUT FROM THE LORD, AND IT IS MARVELOUS IN OUR EYES’? Matthew 21:42

[Jesus as the Rock is also found in Mark 12:10; Luke 2:17; Acts 4:11; Romans 9:33; 1 Peter 2:7 and other places.]

251 – Musings of a Mother

251 – Musings of a Mother

January 6, 1986

I’m sitting in bed, jammied, creamed, teeth glistening and minty, in Momma’s pink robe, listening to the faint strains of Josie’s worship tape from her rooms below me. I look up and hundreds of pink and white fist-sized roses are cascading down from ‘rose heaven’ on the yellow wallpapered walls all around me. I love roses. I adore roses. Thank You, Father.

I love old things—like this house, 2-story, oak-framed windows and oak doors downstairs, old oak furniture left from original owners, lace curtains in the living room, beveled glass windows and a large bay window where the boys can sit and read. Praise You Father.

And the grass outside on these three beautiful acres is always green even under 13 inches of 4 day old snow. The wind is howling outside, but the house stands solidly around, under, and over me. Bless God. Bless My God.

The mudroom is a precious bonus and much used for muddy, or swimming-pool wet, or snowy-wet or rainy-wet boys.

Our sons–healthy, tired from the hours of this day filled with school work, play, sledding and sliding on icy hills on bottoms—are sound asleep in two bunk beds, warm, jammied in new blue GGDup Christmas jammies—with layers of covers, clean faces, prayed over, kissed, very much loved, daily forgiven. Thank You, Father. Praise my God.

Dear dear Dan, my wonderful God-given man, is at a week-of-prayer meeting hearing from You, worshiping You, being moved, changed, healed by You. Praise You for this once-in-a-lifetime, life-changing opportunity You have given us to grow and be ‘formed for service.’

Who knows what tomorrow brings, what next week or this summer brings? May I please be given, and receive JOYFULLY, the grace to praise You in and for all of the circumstances of my life. Especially, the closeness of my husband and children. May the law of kindness be on my lips; may I truly be the joyful mother of my children.

For Your glory, for my rest.

He makes the barren woman abide in the house as a joyful mother of children. Praise the Lord! Psalm 113:9

The law of kindness is on her tongue. Psalm 31:26

249 – There is Payoff for Praying in Tongues

249 – There is Payoff for Praying in Tongues

December 30, 1986

These verses blessed me:

Luke 24

     v 16 But their eyes were PREVENTED from recognizing Him

     v 31 And their eyes were OPENED and they recognized Him   

     v 45 Then He OPENED their minds to understand the scriptures.

God was in charge of what they perceived.

I believe I can pray and ask Him to let my eyes recognize Him and to let my mind understand the scriptures. I know I need inspiration and revelation.

It occurred to me this morning that after I had listened to the Gloria Copeland tapes and had begun praying in the Spirit in the early morning for an hour, one Saturday morning very early Carol K, an older woman in our church, called. She had never called me. She offered to give me a ride to the Ladies’ Meeting at church. I had been feeling hesitant about going, but had turned it over to God. But God had prepared me for her call because her name had come clearly to my mind a short time earlier.

THERE IS PAYOFF IN MAKING THE SACRIFICE TO DO DEVOTIONS REGULARLY AND LONG.

THERE IS PAYOFF IN PRAYING IN TONGUES FOR ONE HOUR IN THE MORNING.

OH GOD. LET YOUR SPIRIT RULE IN MY SPIRIT IN THIS SO I WILL DENY THE SLEEPY, LAZY, STRONG FLESH AND GET UP!

v 49 And behold, I am sending forth the promise of My Father upon you; but you are to stay in the city until you are clothed in power from on high.

The promise was the Holy Spirit and the gift of tongues.

244 – I Choked the Word in the Christmas Rush

244 – I Choked the Word in the Christmas Rush

December 22, 1986

I’m glad I wrote on Dec 1 and Dec 2 all of our prayer requests. I see that God is answering prayers. Thank You, Father.

I was awful for 3 days. Finally today, as I address last package that we had to take to UPS—it broke! Whatever was on me, oppressing me, from the stress of Christmas duties is gone.

Included in my overwhelming feelings were female issues, stress of getting presents purchased and wrapped, finishing our craft projects, packages prepared for mailing. I also ate a few sugar cookies and some licorice—bad. Totally worked against me.

Dan prayed, Karen called, God moved.

I read in a book by Ruth H. Calkins: “God, I resign!” “–Good, You’re Promoted!”

I resign, Lord. But I want kindness and patience NOW! (I said as I threw a tantrum)(not really)

Going to my Bible to get the Word back into me:

Love is patient, love is kind. 1 Corinthians 13:4.

… love covers all transgressions. Proverbs 10:12

And we urge you brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with all men. 1 Thessalonians 5:1

Above all keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

Remembering something I heard from the Spirit the moment the last of the packages was wrapped: “the cares of this world CHOKED the good seed.” –i.e., my concern for the trappings of Christmas choked the life of Jesus, the Word, in my life. And I’ve been miserable!

243 – A Good News Day

243 – A Good News Day!

December 16, 1986

THIS WAS A GOOD NEWS DAY!

It was a huge battle just getting out of the house. My nerves were frayed. BUT Josie came out of her apartment and prayed for me just as we were leaving and gave me directions so I could get to the WIC office. I would have ended up on the wrong road! The drive was therefore pleasant in Tim and Brenda Robbins’ Subaru listening to Keith Green.

*We received our first WIC checks! They are good for 5 months and then we will be interviewed again. They are for both Mark and Daniel. Mark’s will just be for 3 months until he is 5 years old. Bless God. We were eligible for WIC because our income is $1,565 per month (average) (which includes $300 a month estimated contributions).

*We got another letter of confirmation that we will receive $1,800 for the Suburban from the insurance company. It’s more than we ever thought we’d get. It only cost $2,100 (which the church paid) a year ago. Bless God.

*Donna Tresize came over and brought a very large plastic bag with four NEW AND BEAUTIFUL AND EXPENSIVE LOOKING LARGE STUFFED ANIMALS IN IT. (we will save them for the boys to open on Christmas)

*The UPS lady brought 2 large boxes from Aunt Connie and Uncle Jerry and 2 boxes from Bebo and GrampAl.

*Nicole and Donna Vandermeid brought over 10 bags of groceries yesterday from Vivian’s church! TEN!!!

I found myself saying this is ENOUGH BLESSING, Lord…stop! I feel overwhelmed and yet so loved.

In my devotions: 1 Corinthians 12:1-11 which speaks of the various functions of various parts of the body…that there are diversities of gifts, differences of ministries, diversities of activities—but the same God who works all in all.

v 26 And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it.

This spoke to me regarding our receiving groceries from the village churches. Our fellow Christians have had generous compassion with our predicament and have been gracious in sharing with us.

240 – Let Your Word Bear Fruit

240 – Let Your Word

Bear Fruit

December 8, 1986

Your boasting is not good—indeed it is most unseemly and entirely out of place…. 1 Corinthians 5:6 Amplified

You have been speaking to me about conceit and boasting!

A seed has been planted.

Let it be watered by the Word, nurtured by the Spirit.

I am willing that you should change me; I cannot change myself. Let Your Word bear fruit!!

Praises filling this house is a seed that You planted three years ago through a ‘word’ spoken by our friend, Paul: this house should be filled with praises! Let this seed bear fruit!! Water and nurture it as You have been, please, Lord Jesus. It is not in me to make it happen. I surrender it to You. Minister it to me by the Spirit’s power.

Thank You for the EARLY prayer time this morning which YOU awakened me for, and kept me wide awake. Bless You.

And one more thing:

Yesterday was awful. I saw the results of my eating Christmas cookies. I CANNOT DO IT. Sugar is like poison to me. I became overwhelmed and confused and ugly. Thank You, Lord, for showing me this EARLY in December so that I do not have to repeat last December. In our preparation for our trip to New York last summer, the lady in the nutrition store said that if I would get off sugar several of my issues would be settled. Let Your words to me bear fruit!

Eating sugar does not work for me. Beginning the previous summer I had begun fasting sugar. Whenever I cheated, I, and everyone around me, suffered from my unhappiness.

239 – Spirit Led

239 – Spirit Led

December 6, 1986

We, especially Dan, feel the ’77 Pontiac isn’t for us….through the Spirit and through circumstances.

Once we had made that decision on Thursday night and prayed, then Friday night as we were borrowing Pletcher’s car, Cheryl mentioned—“you DO have a car! Tresize’s have a van they will sell!”

That’s just what Dan had wanted, for long-range going-back-to-Reno reasons.

Then at home group last night, the Robinson’s mentioned they need a car! So maybe the ’77 Pontiac is for them.

But that means we have to spend our totaled car money on another vehicle (hopefully there will be enough!) and we won’t have extra $ for snow clothes, bills and Christmas!

Praise God—I put this ALL in Your wonderful hands.

Last night at home group, I realized that we have a group of friends in this group whose #1 goal is to serve God. They are seeking Him, seeking to hear His voice directing them, looking to Him to provide. We are not weirdos! WE FIT IN. We are growing to love them. Our prayer time was blessed.

Our needs specifically:

*snow boots TSMDG

*snow gloves TS

*snow suits SM

*Christmas tree

*ideas & time to shop for/make gifts

*$ to mail packages

*company here for Christmas dinner or somewhere to go for Christmas dinner

*car/van

*gifts for our boys

*dental appointments DGTSM

*$ for boys’ doctor appointments which are needed for the WIC program requirements MD

*more good friends for the boys with opportunities to have them here and go to their homes

*curtain rods, etc., to hang curtains, time to do it with Dan

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

238 – The Wonderful and Wondrous Christian Life

238 – The Wonderful and Wondrous Christian Life

December 6, 1986

On Monday we had a neat experience of seeing God work.

I suspected I had a bladder infection. Dan gave permission to go to the doctor. (The question is always—do we have the cash to cover it?)

Josie, our neighbor, needed to get to Avon to pick up her car in the shop.

I tried the doctor’s office for 20-25 minutes, praying for God to supply a same-day appointment.

Also praying for a ride to work out.

Got an 11am appointment.

The idea came to borrow Sue Skiff’s car. She was working at ShurFine, the grocery store down the street.

In her rental car, Josie took us to ShurFine (the boys and I got ready miraculously quickly and efficiently, packing color book and crayons and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and apples). They also had a big toast and jelly snack while I was bustling around.

We brought Josie’s rental car back to our yard after we picked up Sue’s car.

Then we went to Avon.

Dropped Josie off at the car place.

Drove to Honeyoe Falls.

Got to the docs at 3 minutes to 11.

Barely room to sit in the waiting room.

We were all in good spirits and they were model kids. Praise YOU, Lord!

Read a story, all of them crowded around me.

I left the kids to give a urine sample. I was then called in.

The boys colored outside my door (end of the hall, in no one’s way).

I had to change to a gown for the exam.

Tim took Danny to the restroom. They had to go down to the doctor’s bathroom in the basement because a patient had passed out in front of the restroom on our floor.

We went to the front desk to pay. Timmy pointed out Tracey Belcastro, who needed love and prayer!! Praise God.

To the pharmacy.

Back to ShurFine to get Sue. She was off at 1 and we got there at 5 minutes till!!

Had time to get more hot dogs for dinner and $5 to give her for gas, which blessed her.

We blessed each other.

Josie and I blessed each other.

Tracey and I blessed each other.

The boys and I blessed each other.

PRAISE AND GLORY TO YOU, LORD!

This is just how I wrote it in my journal. I was 41 years old, full of simple faith in Jesus. And loving living that way.