45- The Lord’s Leading

October 9, 1979 We listened to a message on KNIS by the radical Christian, Art Katz: “What are your Isaac’s that you need to lay on the altar to be able to do God’s full will?” They are: my family, our meager, but cherished, possessions, our new washing machine, our popularity here in Reno, humiliation of moving again, possible pregnancy. Then he asked: “And, do you fear God or man?” I told God, I fear man!!!

God is speaking to us! Dan was re-inspired while attending a church meeting in which missionaries serving in Japan were speaking. And yesterday we met the lady who owned the antique store on the corner—Yoriko!! She is from Japan!

My worries: We don’t have a lot, but we’d need to store everything and let go of this house. Where would we stay in Japan? We need money for plane tickets and money to spend when we get there. How about Timmy’s well-being on the long flight? And health considerations for him once we get there?

Oct 11, 1979 My devotions: Matthew 17:27 Take up the fish…MONEY inside!! and v 7 Jesus told the disciples to not be afraid. Message on KNIS by Bob Mumford–die to self, and God will resurrect you!

Oct 14- Ps 96:1 Let the isles be glad! (Japan is an island) v10 Say among the NATIONS that the Lord reigneth.

The Japanese islands. — **Geographically, the Japanese Islands are slightly smaller than California.**

Oct 18- I confess, dear Father, that I am impressed with the daily faith-building messages of truth that You are bringing us! I desire to stop calculating, doubting, worrying, being embarrassed. But I slip back into not believing that You spoke to Dan that You would work out the Japan vision!

I know me, Lord, and YOU know me: I don’t like to suffer! I am not a martyr! I enjoy a measured amount of adventure if my pocket is full of sufficient funds and I know where I am going. With You there is assurance of suffering and hardship in the exploit; there’s always a possible chance of martyrdom. Only YOU can give me the faith, courage and joy to do Your will. I am definitely willing to obey when I am assured of what You are asking me to do. Jesus take glory, take honor, be magnified through this. HERE WE GO, DOWN THE ROLLER COASTER!

roller coaster — **I chose this picture to depict SOLD OUT CHRISTIANS who seek God and count the cost and then just GO!!!! Wheeeeeeeee! Holding on for dear life is A-OK!!**

44- Catching the Mission’s Vision

By temperament, I was introspective and melancholy, pouring out my heart to the Lord in my journals–and I was receiving comfort through the Bible verses that the Holy Spirit was highlighting. So I kept seeking and I kept writing.

I wrote that I was longing for meaty Bible teaching at church, unsatisfied, after months of soaking up wisdom from excellent instructors, seasoned pastors, and intrepid missionaries. I was struggling with accepting our monetary lack, while my family members, 500 miles away, were thriving with new possessions. I was loving being a mom, but feeling isolated because we did not have a second car. I was also grappling with Dan’s desire to go to Japan. JAPAN???

We had said repeatedly to our friends and family that we were going to the Capernwray Bible School to study the Bible, and not to become pastors or missionaries. But the emphasis of the school was Jesus’ heart for missions, and we caught the vision. As a new Christian I had considered going to Africa someday, but Dan began desiring to see his Japanese friends saved.

My story is that I had never been drawn to anything Japanese –the costumes, the art, the food, the music –and I was very conflicted because I wanted to honor my husband and be a good submissive wife.

Traditional Japanese instruments — This picture represents how I envisioned Japanese culture~

Also very real to me was that I was sure that I would be very humiliated before my family if we packed everything up—AGAIN—and took off on another excursion–before our 2nd wedding anniversary–which they would not understand AT ALL. Not to mention taking their baby grandson with us! Besides that I was very concerned that I would get pregnant again and troubled at how complicated everything was becoming. (We had just begun Natural Family Planning through the Catholic Church, but… we were a little too late.)

My prayer was something like: God, if you can change my heart about everything Japanese I will know you are in this! And I kept dialoguing with the Lord about it.

The following entry was written seven months after we returned from Germany and five months before we went to Japan.

October 9, 1979 I wish I had been keeping closer track of God renewing my mind regarding the possibility of going to Japan. Last night I sought Him earnestly again, knowing He would meet my need, knowing He understood where I was coming from. I said, I don’t have a heart for the people in Japan. This morning as I was reading Matthew: Jesus went to the lost sheep of the house of Israel (Matt 15:24)!!! I need to know if I am sent by You to the lost sheep of Japan!

Spoiler: God DID change my heart completely but not until we were IN Japan. I fell in love with the Japanese people, liked the food very much, appreciated the Japanese culture, and could picture our family living there.

The test of my faith came by going to Japan BY FAITH, with my heart still unchanged. I crawled out onto that limb of trusting God with what I did not understand. I wanted to be obedient above all and be in the center of His will.

One of my arguments is: but we can’t afford to go. As I kept reading the Matthew chapter, verses 32-38 stood out to me, about the loaves and fishes, knowing Jesus was saying to me that He would provide! God meets my every heart need and becalms my fears. He is saying, “Are you ready to slay family and friends for the truth? and make the choice for God?”

43- Pausing to Tell Dan’s 14-Month Travel Story

43- Pausing to Tell

Dan’s 14-Month Travel Story

Dan’s adventure story is that after college graduation in 1971, he decided to see a chunk of the world. He traveled on a Japanese freighter from San Francisco to Japan, with the goal of arriving in time to witness the season of the cherry blossoms.

Dan picked this out as a ship very much like the Brazil Maru. — Dan chose this picture of a ship very much like the one he traveled on, the Brazil Maru. Before container ships, ships like these carried passengers and cargo on all the seas.

He made friends with the Americans on the ship– Casey, Martin, and a young couple. He says: “I learned to play shogi, a Japanese form of chess, learned to love ramen noodles as a bedtime snack–and how to eat them with chopsticks. I fell in love with the ocean and the albatross. There was ample spare time so, being fresh out of art school, I got a piece of 4×4 from the ship’s carpenter and sculpted a depiction of the albatross’s flight pattern swooping back and forth over the waves. I also began learning the Japanese language and the children’s alphabet.”

Cherry Blossoms — It was seventeen days from SF to Tokyo–and Dan made it in time for the blossoming!

Dan hitchhiked around Japan for a month. In Kyoto he met some Japanese students in a park and Yoshimi san invited Dan to live with him, which he did for the remainder of his stay. He commuted by train two days a week to Osaka where he spent six months teaching English to Japanese businessmen. Deciding it was time to move on, he left on a ship from Yokohama, Japan, and traveled to Singapore (stopping in Hong Kong to explore with two Japanese men he’d met on the ship). From there he continued by ship to India. He went overland across India, but could not get to his destination in Pakistan because of their war and fighting with India, so he flew to Afghanistan, where he visited a family friend, Dave Mort, who was mapping the area for canals for an American company. After a week he traveled by bus over the Khyber Pass to Peshawar, Pakistan, where he was met by his mom and her husband (Beth and Al). Al was an American engineer, supervising the work on the Tarbela Dam. Dan lived in Pakistan for 6 months, traveling the length of it by car twice. He went overland back through Afghanistan by bus and then by train across Iran to Turkey. He became deathly ill in Istanbul. He remembers hearing the other hippies in the hostel discussing dividing up his possessions, because they were so sure he was going to die! He recovered because he was able to make his way to a nearby pharmacy where he purchased penicillin over the counter. He went by bus to Izmir then across the Aegean Sea to Thessaloniki, Greece. He traveled overland across Greece to Igoumenitsa on west coast, where he caught a ferry to Brindisi, Italy. He hitchhiked to Rome, Florence, and Milan, spending time in each city. He hitchhiked because he was running out of money and because hitchhiking was safe in Italy in those days. He hitchhiked across France and took the ferry to Dover, England. He arranged for a flight out of Heathrow Airport in London, but had to kill two weeks so hitchhiked around England, visiting Stonehenge, sleeping in parks. One early morning he heard a firm, “You can’t sleep here, mate!” from an amused bobby, and he happily moved on, after his good night’s rest. He landed in New York, hitchhiked across the US and arrived in Reno with 25 cents. He used a dime to called his dad on the payphone to pick him up. Walking those last few miles just wasn’t happening!

42- Home Again, Home Again…

42- Home Again,

Home Again…

Dan was very worried about me, and we were both concerned about our baby, due in six weeks. I was exhausted and half sick, as you can see in the picture, as I laid my body down in the airport during our layover at JFK after our flight from Zurich. On to Los Angeles, and a happy reunion with my parents and my sisters.

Tired mama at JFK, resting my weary bones!

The three of us at my parents (Timmy is hiding) — The three of us at my parents’ house (Timmy is hiding). It was always SO GOOD to be HOME!

My parents were so relieved that we were finally back on US soil. I’m sure my mom fixed my favorite foods, and everyone joined us in being concerned about my barely protruding belly and minuscule weight gain (14 pounds at this point, if I remember correctly). After a several days of family love, excellent food–and my mom’s prodding to eat hearty, and resting up, we returned to Reno, staying with Dan’s Gramma Fern for several days until we found a home.

April 4, 1979 Fears today. Little faith. I read Psalm 31, and then I faced my problem: feeling inadequacy as a parent, fear that I cannot give the love that our baby will need. We learned in our pre-natal class last night about some birth defects and genetic problems. My conclusion—we are all defective in our genetic makeup because of Adam’s sin. Everyone who ever existed is defective. Everyone, but our Lord Jesus. And someday we will all be like Him. In the meantime HE IS THE LOVE we need to accept each other as we are. He is the love I need to accept myself as I am. He is the love I need to accept baby Lemaire, just exactly as God has created him/her. If there are physical or mental deficiencies, we will be okay. By faith I married an imperfect man, (and look what love has blossomed)—and he married me! What faith. And by faith we conceived a child that we really wanted and assuredly the Lord will provide the bonds of love that will be a blessing to the three of us.

Happy happy little family — Our happy happy little family. Timothy means ‘honoring God’ and Micah means ‘who is like unto the Lord. Our good friend, Chas Sulita, from Bible School had shared with us using Micah as the middle name.

Timothy Micah Lemaire was born April 28, 1979, weighing in at 7 pounds 14 ounces! I had prayed that he would not be premature so that when people counted the months they would know he was a nine-month baby and that we had not fooled around before we got married. It was really important to me, because of my history of promiscuity. Thank You, Jesus! We had to leave Timmy in the hospital NICU (on IV antibiotics) for three days for jaundice and a suspected infection. That was SO hard. The three of us were soon reunited and snug in our little brick house on Cheney Street. Our mothers, who came to be called GG and Bebo, each came for a visit in those first few weeks, and Dan’s other grandmother, Mumbo, gave us a baby shower inviting Dan’s college friends. Dottie’s shower included friends from church and JoAnn’s shower included my teaching friends. It was humbling to receive SO MUCH! Dan bought us a small apartment-sized washing machine, and I washed the cloth diapers and hung them and everything else on the clothesline in the back yard.

41- Precious Goodbyes from Precious Friends

March 6, 1979

Yesterday we received a letter from Dan’s ex-boss, Dale, that the job is still Dan’s (interesting jobs that please Dan), along with the freedom to also be involved in ministry. Thank You!

Two days ago Mr. Moore suggested Sue take us in the van all the way to Zurich on Friday! Thank You Jesus! (rather than part way and a train the rest of the way)

Yesterday I called my parents and was greeted with cheerfulness. Thank You Jesus!

Our friends gave us a baby-shower-goodbye-SURPRISE party! God humbles us in various ways.

**In reality, there were 100 happy faces!**

May we never forget the sea of loving faces. Chas: I learned about Christian marriage. Ed: they listened. Abraham (Kenya): they loved the simple-minded (which he was NOT). Kathy Jansen: they listened and told me the right thing even if I did not want to hear it. Terri: G’s example of not having to be in the middle, but content to pray. Angel: they helped. Sue: we cried together. Tom: not separated by age from them. Daniel: example. Notes, candy boxes, baby cover-up. Principal and his wife Anita: baby sweater. VP Herb and Penny: a very cute German baby outfit. Speeches. Hugs. Tears.

May the love shown to us here rejoice our hearts forever. May God’s grace enable us to be available to these dear ones as we have boldly offered ourselves (for visits). May they know it was Jesus between us, and many prayers, never enough, but many prayers of intercession.

Thank You, God our Father for the unspeakable great gift of Jesus Christ.

40- Leery of Reading the Word

February 8, 1979

Problem: Fear about reading the Word, in studying, and in doing devotions—that I will be led astray. Lack of full trust and dependence on the Holy Spirit—my heart says: remember what happened before and how far you got into a lie (when I believed as a new Christian that God was telling me that I was going to marry a particular person and I was derailed….)

Lord, I just want to hear from you... — Lord, I just want to hear from you…

Realization: I did not have awareness then in my first few months of being a new believer of my deceitful heart. I was immature. I did not know the difference between my voice building me up and the spirit of the evil one (I will be God, I will be lifted up) and the spirit of submission to the almighty Lord, the spirit of humility.

Application: Joshua 6:1-20 God gave a promise. God gave instructions. God expected obedience and God would give victory. OBEDIENCE isn’t an OPTION. Trust and obey. For me: the promise of a child who is a reward [The fruit of the womb is His reward. Ps 127:3] –and is who is blessed. Walk by faith. Trust Him. Obey Him. ‘Don’t shout’ means to me: don’t complain, murmur, worry aloud, doubt aloud. Take your woes to Daddy and your heart should be abundant with faith in Him.

39- A Demanding Week for a Lady in her 7th Month

39- A Demanding Week for a Lady in her Seventh Month

Our Bible school’s annual evangelistic outreach to a German city 85 miles away was a real challenge for me.

February 6, 1979 Situation: Hard week in Dettingen, with no milk, but eggs and cheese, long hours, three days of door-to-door evangelism (handing out tracts, witnessing when people showed an interest) with so many staircases to climb.

We had 4 days of no door-to-door. We visited several churches to give our testimonies and invite people to accept the Lord. We stayed with a German-speaking family and a pregnant woman who was very depressed. We met a pastor who was concerned with my welfare as a pregnant lady. Enid (an RN) was concerned for my condition and health (which always causes the old Georgann to look inside for a reason to say “poor me”)—-in other words, lots of stretching. Then Sunday night diarrhea and vomiting and it was a miracle of prayer and mercy from God that I made the three-hour bus trip home without being sick or giving in to the flesh. AMEN

Back at the dorm, slept all day Monday and most of Tuesday while others went to lectures.

Going through my mind: I want to go home in February as we initially planned. Then in pity trips. But, by God’s grace, not a word to Dan. Satan even suggested suicide or falling on purpose to get attention to my plight. Praise God I knew it was him and rejected him. God has been seeing me through.

Revelation: Then Judy Johnson called and told the story of Dennis Gains getting beat up in the Lord’s service of picking up three hitchhikers, and God began speaking to me through 1 Peter 4:12,13,16,19 about what trials and testings are really all about. I got perspective.

Application: It seems that my lovely Lord allows man’s words and various circumstances to come, then come my own doubts and weaknesses, along with Satan’s encouragement to fear and do something drastic. There’s so much lying against believing in God and His goodness, His character of love, His past faithfulness. How can God win against all that? Because He’s God. Because we turn by His grace and seek Him.

Now I can write to Dennis.

38- Appealing to the Father

January 2, 1979 Since I went to the doctor two weeks ago, I have been counting contractions daily because he said six means trouble. Oh how anxious and fearful I have become. Rejoice always, be anxious for nothing, pray with thanksgiving, AND HIS PEACE WILL KEEP YOU. Philippians 4:4-7 (paraphrased)

Later: I am overcome! Slipped into the pit. Where does responsibility get practical for our baby? Do we become parents now and go home to prepare a place? Or do we continue in our role as Bible students and trust God for preparing a place? Also I am frustrated and so bored with the food. And there is more…it all makes me double-minded and easily tossed about. Continue reading “38- Appealing to the Father” →

36- Murmurings and surrenderings

36- Murmurings and Surrenderings

December 3, 1978 My Lord, I saw You, I heard You. You touched me today. Mr. Redpath looked like an ordinary man. But then Jesus exhorted us through him, rebuked us, chastened us, implored us—saying, “Love Me, spend time with Me, give yourself over to Me completely.”

I do, Lord.

Without reservations.

I long to, Lord. My life is nothing without You. Let me hate sin. Let me love. Let me have no other gods before You.

Father, I know the wilderness, the testing, and I know defeat and humility. And now I know I am in the land. In the land there is victory, blessing.

Lord in spite of the cold building, the food, the atmosphere of youthfulness, the noise, the work—have a healthy birth through me.

In spite of poor communication with the baby doctor, finances, BE VICTORIOUS. Continue reading “36- Murmurings and surrenderings” →

35-Bodenseehof

35 – Bodenseehof

I was very picky eater back then, and my greatest daily challenge was dealing with the foods in the cafeteria with its fare of sausages and wursts, cabbages, pickled eggs, and pickled beets. It was difficult to conquer the strong odors permeating the lunchroom and make selections that would set right in my tummy. The various breads, which were coveted by all, arrived warm daily in the bakery delivery boy’s bicycle basket. The fresh farm butter was creamy, and the jams were homemade and tangy. I filled up on the mouth-watering breads and pastries, had a few favorite meals, and picked at the other foods.

Continue reading “35-Bodenseehof” →