137- I Am Called to Mothering

137- I Am Called to Mothering

December 27, 1984

Father I know You have more of me now. Something really happened in my will and in my heart–since my encounter with You last week.

Christmas morning I took Mary Lynn to work at 6:30am—in fact, I just realized I have awakened at 5am each day since my revelation of materialism and covetousness. Thank You, Father. And thank You that we did not move to NY. The support of friends has been vital at this time.

It is in my heart to want to spend more time with the boys– listening, sharing, reading, playing. I want each to feel special and loved.

December 28

1 Cor 1:26 For consider your calling, brethren…

              28 …God has chosen the things that are not, that He might nullify the things that are…

             29 so that no man may boast before God…

             30 But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption,

              31 so that just as it is written, “LET HIM WHO BOASTS, BOAST IN THE LORD.

This is such a wonderful revelation to me:

     I am called to mothering. This has baffled me. Before we were married we put the subject of children in Your hands, completely relying on Your will to be done. 

    When I was released from public school teaching and then the Christian school teaching job did not work out that fall, I realized I was very relieved. The car hop and cashier jobs caused me to feel you were directing me away from kids’ work.

But God chose something that WAS NOT so that I could NOT BOAST before Him. I was not yearning to be a mom, I was yearning to do Your will. So You could give the calling to raise children back to me as Your gift.

This fills me with excitement in my Spirit from my head to my toes. Not only does this say to me that the results are Yours, but the responsibility is Yours, too. It is ‘by His doing.’

I was impure, foolish, unholy, lost. Jesus Christ became my wisdom, righteousness, my sanctification, my redemption. BY HIS DOING  I am in Christ Jesus. I am so grateful.

135- A Humbling Christmastime Revelation

135- A Humbling Christmastime Revelation

Wrestling with myself when I read this entry, I decided to post it. The thoughts about Jesus were nothing I had ever thought of! I believe it was the devil trying to snare me into despising Him and into becoming anti-Christ. BUT, I went to the Word and I was saved from the world, my flesh, and the devil. I love God’s Word.

December 22, 1984

A most wonderful and humbling revelation has come to me as I have mused on this day and this season.

I have seen that the stubbornness I was holding onto to have MY way this Christmas resulted in an angry, bitter, ugly woman, dissatisfied with everything, and bitter over the lack of money needed to make Christmas be what I felt I deserved (based on the world’s glittering standards and my own family’s traditions). I have been at odds with my children, resentful of my husband (and yet amazed at his humility and servant attitude toward me in my confusion). Before my walk this am Dan told me to meditate on:

Psalm 127:3 NIV Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him, the fruit of the womb is a reward.

1 Thessalonians 5:24 NIV The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it.

James 1:17 NIV Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

I read the verses, talked to God, and worshiped by my will–despising the hardness of my heart, yet I was set on receiving a blessing from the Lord. 

I remembered the Christmas note paper I saw yesterday: 

LET EVERY HEART PREPARE HIM ROOM

As I prayed and walked and thought, I realized that materialism was so entrenched in my heart that there was NO room for Jesus. But I heard myself saying: that does not bother me because I never liked that humble man who moved among the sick and poor, in plain and probably dirty clothing, sitting with people I did not admire and who I do not sit among myself! I really didn’t want to let Him in, poor as He was. I want the ‘good life’ with a Chrysler van, an expensive home inside and out, many presents under the tree, a perfect hairdo, well-behaved kids, a successful husband.

But then I thought—the reason I’m thinking like that is because of the world and the flesh. The reason I am blinded by that and cannot see past it—the devil.

Then—if children are God’s heritage, I AM WRONG IN MY THINKING, because God’s Word is right and truth.

So I claimed His Word to be living and active, etc., and for it to work on my hard heart.

128- Following God’s Trail – #10

128- Following God’s Trail – #10

July 1, 1984 Father, I am having a hard time believing YOU are asking us to stay in Reno. PLEASE SHOW ME.

I am having a hard time trusting You with our finances, and in finding very suitable housing here in Reno, and in finding a kindergarten acceptable for Tim. You promise to gently lead those who are with young. I am letting it all go and believing Your Word.

Here’s the story: Dan had been working for several months with the contractor on the new building for our church. It was full-time work and they worked well together.

Two of the elders went to him independently and both felt strongly from the Lord that the timing of our going off to Bible School was premature.

The pastor offered him the job of foreman.

We prayed and fasted seeking the Lord.

We handed over the keys of our solar house to Peter and Marilyn Clarke and instead of driving 3,000 miles east across the country, we drove 5 miles west to a house in a quiet subdivision on Grandview Avenue. The rent was more than we wanted to spend but we were under pressure to find a place quickly. It was within a few miles of the church and in the same area of town we had been living for 2 years.

There was an elementary school across the street which had a very good reputation. I had been prepping Timmy: “Your teacher will love you. You are such a smart and cooperative boy. She will be so happy to have you in her class. Teachers love children who will work with them, obey them, and who want to learn.”

As it happened, they did not have room for my precious first born, and I was actually relieved. I had been reading, School Can Wait, by Raymond and Dorothy Moore.

July 22, 1984—Our 6th anniversary.

On our 6th anniversary, our sons were 5, 4, 2, and one month old. We had moved 7 times, including living in two foreign countries for short periods. Dan was 36 and I was 39.

We were crushed. All of our plans had been put on hold. We had laid down our vision for Japan and for Bible School, and we were in some subsidiary plan. God knew.

We believed we had been led by God to this point of surrender. We learned later that we were experiencing “the death of a vision.”

I went to google to get an explanation of the death of a vision and found a good one at http://www.thegoodbook.com. Pastor Cecil Thompson writes:

We are all fired up when the vision is fresh and new, but almost without warning things explode. Instead of seeing our vision fulfilled, it is like death has destroyed the vision. “What do we do now?”

Reeling, floundering…what’s going on, God? We were hastily trying to pull ourselves together after the explosion! We knew we had heard from the Lord and walked with God to this point. All of the other “visions” and “God ideas” had come to pass, so what was this all about?

We believed by faith that God had specific purpose in letting us be deflated. We did not believe God was capricious, impulsive, and unpredictable. We decided to trust Him.

But we also had to regroup quickly!

Spoiler: We DID go to Elim Bible Institute two years later. And we could clearly see the wisdom in the delay.

126- Following God’s Trail – #8

126- Following God’s Trail – #8

June 1 –Although we sold our house for $8,000 less than the appraisal, bought a car we cannot afford, have not gotten the obstetrician I wanted, the peace of God is totally meeting me. It’s wonderful. We’re in a dimension of faith that is far beyond us. We have over-extended ourselves in faith. We are in His grace. Yet, I can’t think too hard about the new car. It’s done. Dan agrees. We have to rest and trust Him.

A few hours later, Reno Dodge called for us to return the car!! It had already been sold to another man who was irate when he came to pick it up and it wasn’t there. OH NO! But what a relief! Dan said when he prayed last night, wondering if we’d done the right thing, he’d felt God had said, “There’s a way out.”

This was amazing. We learned some valuable lessons without a tragic mistake. The air cleared and we could see that the car was not big enough and not gutsy enough. Praise Jesus—You saved us once again!

June 2 –packed boxes, called mom about selling the house and told her the car story.

June 3 –people in my Bible study are praying about my doctor’s stand-in ob/gyn and the house sale and the car!

The reason having baby number 4 early was so important to me is that my babies increased in size: #1 almost 8 lbs, #2 almost 9 lbs, #3 was 10 pounds. I wanted #4 to be more in the 8-9 pound range. My lady friends were taking up my cause and praying for the doctor to say okay to an early delivery!

Dan did a devotional at the church property, excellent! Praise God.

June 4 – worried about taking a newborn baby across the country in July. All the boys will have just had their birthdays: Tim 5, Steve 4, Mark 2.  Did not get into the Word today—it shows.

Dan did finances—bummed out. “God, if You want us to go to NY we will need to raise support here and I will have to work there.”

Met the on-call doctor since mine will be out of town at the time of the birth – professional, caring, compassionate. He will deliver ten days early.

HH at Elders’ meeting told Dan to “go home and ask God if you made a mistake on house sale.” (taking such a loss). He thinks God is able to deliver us from a bad decision, like He delivered us from the bad decision on the car! We do feel we were hasty, so we are before the Lord.

June 5 – I fell down out by rabbit cage two times! The second time it felt like I was PUSHED! Shaken and very worried about my baby. Called Karen to pray. Dan prayed. Worried. Called doctor. No spotting. Rested.

June 7 – Bob & Berta came by wanting advice—they are pursuing YWAM. They prayed about everything with us and we prayed for them!

June 9—signed escrow papers.

June 10 – Woke up before 5 and began thinking. BAD. Got uptight. Finally went to the Word. I felt very clearly led to psalms and felt that Ps 71:6 will be our baby’s testimony: By You I have been sustained from my birth; You are He who took me from my mother’s womb; my praise is continually of You.

June 11 –When I got up at 5:30am my Bible was opened to our guest speaker’s text yesterday at church: Isaiah 35:6b-7a For waters shall burst forth in the wilderness, and streams in the desert. The parched ground shall become a pool, and the thirsty land springs of water. Speaker said revival is coming to this valley very soon.

What am I to do with this Lord? You know our lives are before You. We would change our plans if we thought You wanted us to stay here more than going to NY. Speak, Lord, Your servant is listening.

Dan and I prayed both morning and evening – long prayers.

125- Following God’s Trail – #7

125- Following God’s Trail – #7

May 6 –at church, Sandy M prayed: “The Lord has touched your babies. He assured me that He will be there to supervise the delivery. He told me to tell you.”

May 8 –open house, a few came. I will not be discouraged because God is merciful and He is perfect in His timing. He has purposes to fulfill. I purpose to trust Him.

May 12 –car fire! Our Nova station wagon caught on fire in the grocery store parking lot. Very strange. No one was hurt.

May 20 –open house, two couples, both interested.

May 23 –to Lynn’s for Lamaze breathing practice.

May 25 –very tense day: Elim guy never called. I was under pressure to get this house ready for possible realtors’ visits before the boys and I left for Michele’s Bible study for the morning. Feeling overwhelmed. Karen called—the Lord told her it was urgent that she call me. Praise God. She prayed, I cried, and the tension broke and my perspective changed. After dinner, much baby activity. Continuous Braxton Hicks for 1 hour. Wore me out!

May 28 –recognized fear, uncertainty, lack of faith about baby’s birth. Cried out to the Lord. My resources won’t be sufficient—no confidence in the doctor, etc. I thought hard about God, but couldn’t really get ahold of Him. I thought—how can I have success? Joshua 1:8 came to mind. Decided to use my NAS Bible with the topical index. I had just bought a spiral notebook. Looking up verses on the favor of God and the faithfulness of God. Will meditate daily on them. Dan wants to read them with me. Together we will see our Lord work.

May 29 –I got up early for devotions and prayer. Meditated on my scriptures in my spiral notebook. My faith was built. Elim guy called and we have a house for $300 a month beginning in August in NY.

May 30 –A realtor, called saying the artist couple, the Clarke’s, are very interested in buying our house.

May 31 –Dan set himself to pray. He said: “God what if they offer us $92,000?” THEY DID! He felt God said, “Just sell.”

Signed the agreement to sell. They will call us back tomorrow if they agree with our date changes.

The car fire had sidelined our car. We went to a lot and bought a car. We were all out till 11:30pm.

We felt God’s grace and blessing. Dodge Colt Vista. Seven passenger. But it doesn’t FEEL like seven passenger and there is so little trunk area. Trying not to argue.

124- Following God’s Trail – #6

124- Following God’s Trail – #6

April 7, 1984 –On this sunny day, cleaned inside and outside the house. Looks great!

Lynn’s friends came by and are interested in our house. The situation seems impossible to us.

April 9 –told a lady at the gas station that I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

April 13 – We are ready to put an ad in the paper. (Dan is wanting to do this sale on our own and skip realtor fees.)

Lynn called and her friends are still interested and will look again on Monday, so we will wait on putting the ad in the paper.

Joshua 2 in devotions. Very interesting how God leads, how God rescues His own, and the people He uses to help His people.

April 16Confess I got my expectation up today that the house will sell, we will have money in our pockets, and another car in front of the house, and be on our way to Oxnard to visit my parents. I was irritable though and Carol fervently prayed with me against irritability, discontent, anger, worry. PEACE came immediately.

God is showing me I can live in the flesh or in the Spirit – it’s my choice. “What are you going to settle for, Georgann?”  It takes such determination to stand against the world, the flesh and the devil. But my prayer to love God without compromise is paying off.

April 17 – Might get to have baby early.

April 22 –I thought, why not use a realtor? It seemed like a God thought. It brought me release and peace. Dan thought about it and felt the same. This is a HUGE attitude reversal for him.

It’s Easter Sunday: Twenty-five people were saved at church today! The anointing came on the pastor about 2/3 of the way through his sermon.

April 23I cannot give away what I do not have. Give me MORE, Jesus: insights, compassion, faith with works. As I think of Your omnipotence, omnipresence, omniscience, peace floods over me. You DO know everything that we are going through, You DO have the power that we need, that we do not have, to accomplish what You have called us to do.

April 26 –The realtor came over. I am bowing out of this, I am too changeable. I will let Dan do it.

April 28 – Tim’s birthday. Jackie invited us all to dinner. She had a cake and a gift for Tim. Marsha sent McDonald’s coupons, Connie sent Sesame Street tickets.

Synopsis of last couple of weeks since I have not been writing daily: Beth was here in town for a week. Elim housing guy called and has 2 houses available. I wrote a story for Guideposts magazine and sent it off. We completed the pre-admit for Saint Mary’s hospital.

122- Following God’s Trail – #4

122- Following God’s Trail – #4

Feb 16, 1984 – Elim called—we’re IN!

What relief came over us! They are concerned about our financial status. Dan assured them we have enough money for one year. They were relieved. They are working on housing for us. Dan intends to fly out—Judy said: “You’ll find we’re like a family here!”  THAT WAS JUST THE MESSAGE GOD GAVE US THROUGH PAUL!!

Danny & Lynn need to sell their house in order to buy our house.

Lima Christian School called us. It would cost $100 a month to send Tim to kindergarten there. Lord, please provide.

I read Karen my entire prayer list and she wrote it down so she and I will be praying the same things.

Feb 24 – Somebody said he did not think we would be going to NY till summer. I am still recovering from this! I wanted so much to get organized, settled, find a new doctor in our new town in time for our baby’s birth. I’m having a hard time adjusting to the possibility of that this is true.

Dan will fast M-W for many issues.

All of January and February Dan has been mightily praying and seeking God’s will. He had felt God said at the end of February he would have all the answers. That seemed like ages ago, and here it is upon us.

One of my librarian friends offered monthly support through a club she belongs to.

I guess if we stay here in Reno till summer God has His definite reasons. I am asking for a promise for this baby, so I can rest about that. I want to know the verse is from God.

Feb 25 –Meet with Judy Smith about USCWM.  (more on USCWM later) I perceived that the Lord has yet some work to do here in Reno that may involve us spreading the vision of the need of the unreached peoples of the world.

This morning I saw clearly that I did not necessarily want His will to be done, but MY WILL to be done. I repented, and was greatly blessed.  Now I am asking, “Reveal Your will and purpose so we can know we belong here longer and make arrangements accordingly.”

Am I waffling or just staying flexible? I just hope the house will sell so we can release some of that money to pay the property taxes which are coming due quickly. GOD KNOWS.

Feb 28 –God sent 3 of His ministers to me to love me and help me readjust my perspective. You are so loving Father.

*Karen – You have always trusted in Me, do not stop now; rest in Me, let Me break the way and go before you. It is your heart I am concerned about—nothing in the physical. Walk with Me, do not try to make Me walk with you. Walk with Me. Abide with Me. Look on Me.

In my devotions today: Matt 7:9 Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?

We are humbly and simply asking for God’s direction and help so that we can proceed in doing what we believe is His will.

*JoyceAs Abraham went without knowing, so are you and Dan!

AND THAT WAS IN MY DEVOTIONS YESTERDAY.

Joyce admitted she could not go out like that. What a sweetheart. She prayed all in the church would be available to give to Dan and I financially, etc. She prayed for the Holy Spirit to fill the baby in utero. She prayed for prosperity and a good reliable car.

*Jeanette – suggested cheddar cheese milkshake because low blood sugar could be the reason for the dizziness I was experiencing. She also had a testimony of how God brought money to them from nowhere.

121- Following God’s Trail – #3

121- Following God’s Trail – #3

February 2, 1984 –  Carla had good things to say about Elim.

On KNIS, we were listening to an inspirational story about Duncan Campbell applying for missionary service at age 50. He had a family and the organization was very hesitant. They wanted single men who would serve as itinerant preachers. But it became clear to them that it was God’s will to take Duncan, and that God was expanding their minds. When Duncan was making a major decision that would affect the lives of his family members, God reminded him: He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me in not worthy of Me. Matthew 10:37-38

Boy did that hit me! I have been putting Dan down for doing just that! Thank You, Father, for Your perspective once again. Also, God wants me to assume my full share of this responsibility. He knows me, that I would easily slide and shirk.

February 4 – Connie called and is sad and upset that we are going so far away.

Dan saw a 1970 red Suburban in good shape on a car lot yesterday $3200. But someone else had already made a cash offer. The salesman almost laughed at us. He said our car was worth $100 if it were sold on a car lot. (true) We know God could hold it for us and also provide the money for it. We would LOVE to have one of those wonderful stories of His provision.

Mumbo is upset with our move and our life choice to preach the gospel.

The people who should be so happy that we are giving ourselves to such an eternally worthwhile endeavor, every one of them is worried, confused, and does not understand at all. Praise You God for the clarity and comfort of Your word.

Feb 5 – Dan went to look at the Suburban again. He called the library and Bluebook on it is only $2660. They are asking $3295.  Thank You, Jesus. The truth will set you free!

The appraisal on our house came out to be $100,000.

Feb 7  – John and Jackie had a couple over to dinner last night that was from NY. They said Lima (where Elim is located) is full of big trees and farm land and it is very green. Hallelujah!

God is using Duncan Campbell’s biography as an evangelist and a faith missionary to answer my long-time prayer for meeting a missionary that we could identify with in preparation for our mission. The people we live around are wonderful, but someone who has turned themselves over so completely and seen God work mightily through their full surrender is the inspiration and counsel we need.

Feb 12—Danny called. They qualified for $89,500 loan. That is $10,500 short of our asking price.  Dan said he still felt peace so I decided not to panic.

Feb 14—Dan called Elim. Admissions lady, Judy, sent Dan’s application to the Committee without the Bodenseehof transcripts. She said she should know this afternoon and would call us.

What if things move fast??

119- Following God’s Trail – #1

119- Following God’s Trail – #1

Many times in our walks with God, Dan and I have followed a vision that we have believed we have received from the Lord. One of the first ones was Dan hearing from the Lord that I could be his wife. I have chronicled our experience in blogs 24-31.

Dan’s goal was to get more Biblical training before we embarked on our missionary venture to Japan. That goal was formulated from our experiences when we visited Japan and Dan had the realization that we were not prepared to do the spiritual warfare that would be required to live there.

It also came from watching Peace Child, Don Richard’s missionary story. Dan was very impacted by ….

I have also mentioned the Lord’s word through our friend, Paul (blog 116), to send our application to Elim and begin the process of admission.

In my 1984 journaling, I was using a 3-ring binder. I kept a separate section which I called THE CHAIN OF EVENTS LEADING TO OUR DEPARTURE. The next ten blogs chronicle how God was speaking to us in our devotions, in the circumstances, through friends, through the prophetic word. We were sure that God was clearly directing our steps and that within a month or two we would be on our way to New York.

Spoiler: We suffered a huge disappointment in that we did not make the trip that winter, or spring, OR SUMMER as we had expected but God had us delay TWO MORE YEARS! Of course we saw the wisdom in the delay in hindsight.

Yet the 6-month faith journey became and adventure in following the Holy Spirit’s leading. His ways are mysterious. He wanted us to learn more about hearing His voice, trusting Him, and especially learning to work with the Body of believers. We were both very independent and self-sufficient, but those aren’t character traits He admires. He needed to humble us, because there is till the day we die, always pride that creeps in and needs to be acknowledged and repented of. Who knows what else He had in His mind. Obedience to Jesus is always worth it even if it does not bring what we had envisioned, and even if we seem to be taking a twisting country road rather than the freeway.

January 8, 1984 –Dan gave reference letter forms to two of the church elders.

Jan 9 –From Dan’s notes I typed his application to Elim Bible Institute, Lima, New York. And we sent it off.

Jan 12 — Believing the Bible School had missionaries in Japan, we sent a letter to Elim Fellowship, the missionary sending agency associated with the Bible school, requesting a missionary appointment from them and housing in Japan. (We learned later that it was a rather audacious request.)

Jan 13 – Our very good friends, Danny & Lynn, wanted to buy our solar house. We looked at the paperwork and discussed the sale.

Jan 15 – Dan gave Danny money to begin the loan process.

Jan 16 – In my devotions: John 4:5 The woman of Samaria could bring others to Christ because of her experience with Him firsthand.  Then, Pastor said yesterday, “We need to experience Jesus.” Yes! Jesus lifted all of my relocation cares off of me as I came to Him with crying during worship and received prayer and counsel from Dan.

2 Chronicles 16:9 For the eyes of the Lord roam to and fro throughout the earth, that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. Georgann, give God your heart again.

Bruce Mc told Dan my heart must be with missions and be in the vision, too, or it won’t work. Dan was asked by Pastor Dave to be an elder for the second time. He said there had been a unanimous vote by current elders. Dan prayed and later said yes.

Jan  17 – Dan went to the Pastoral Meeting at church and HH, one of the elders, counseled Dan NOT to sell everything and give the money away, as had been our plan. Surprisingly, we both had peace about that.

116- God’s Revealed Will For Us

116- God’s Revealed Will

For Us

November 22, 1983

Dan has been heavy and burdened. Today I felt such compassion for the frustrations he was feeling and I asked God to please speak to Dan about His will for us. My best friend’s husband, Paul, came over to get some teaching tapes from us, totally out-of-the-blue, spontaneous, and unusual.

He knew we were reviving our interest in Dan getting more training so that we could get to Japan and fulfill our calling.

He had come primarily because he felt he had a word from the Lord for us:

“there is a family and a house waiting to receive you or in the process of being prepared for you. They will appreciate your strong commitment to the Lord and His work. Love is waiting for your family. The Lord is saying: go north, far north, and do not put off applying the school there. People there are professional, stable, mature.”

Dan took this word to heart and set to work on his application to Elim Bible Institute in upstate New York. We sent it off a few weeks later. He also applied himself to completing the finishing touches to our solar house so we could put it on the market.

Besides our pastor’s sermons and the books we were reading, many visiting speakers to our church fueled our enthusiasm in trusting in Jesus and living our lives full of faith in Him.

Anthony Campolo spoke at our church and we also listened to his messages on the Christian radio station, KNIS. Campolo said:

*it’s okay to be poor if it’s because you’ve given everything away.

*we need to cry over the things God cries over.

*be yielded and surrendered so Jesus can use you.

*Jesus didn’t preach prosperity.

Paul arriving with a word for us on the day I had prayed was remarkable. We had been waiting and praying for a breakthrough and this was it.