163- God is Greater Than Me

163-God is Greater Than Me

November 8, 1985

The house began to be messy yesterday and continued today, seeming hopeless.

I started fretting, then looked up and read Timmy’s Sunday School mobile which hangs over my head in the schoolroom.

How to be Happy: Noah obeyed God

                                        Noah trusted God

                                        Noah thanked God

 

So listen, obey, then flow, trust, believe, praise—and leave the results to God.

Interesting, it says nothing about keeping clutter in your house organized and that will bring happiness.

From the boys’ book: The Braggy King of Babylon, about King Nebuchadnezzar:

“You must learn that your God is much greater than you.” (You will be like a beast till the day that you do.)

I felt convicted of not putting God up high enough. Sometimes I feel like a beast! He must be the one I worship and give my attention to.

November 9

I prayed on the phone with my friend Joyce and she had some words of encouragement for me –

*that I needed to be open to hear afresh from the Lord

*that I need to pray about breaking my own strongholds in my mind

*that there will be newness and freshness and variety coming (not monotony)

*she exhorted me to put on the helmet of salvation, to protect my mind

*she asked if I prayed in the Spirit during the day

This goes along with keeping my eyes on Jesus and exalting Him always. These are some specific things that I can do.

157- Bee Stings and Milking Barns

157- Bee Stings and

Milking Barns

September 25, 1985

A day only has so many hours in it. This day held a barrage of interruptions: 

*My goal was to go to Jenny’s house at 10.

*My goal also was getting some home schooling done for Tim, starting about 9:15.

*I slept in till 7am. First mistake!

*While on the phone with a strong personality, Daniel cut his lip with his teeth by falling in the bathroom. I hung up and called back two times to tend to him.

*Joyce called at 10 to check on answered prayer. I was supposed to be at Jenny’s so I told her I would call her another time.

*Immediately after I hung up Bev appeared at the door! I began fixing a snack for everyone and tea for us (I decided to just give in and enjoy this friend), and Jackie called!

*Then Dan came home! He encouraged me proceed with the schedule and to go to my friend’s, so we got to Jenny’s at 11:15.

*For some excitement the boys stirred up a bee’s nest and 3 of the seven boys got two stings each! It was a little rowdy and quite scary but we were so grateful for just a few stings, and that the babies did not get stung.

*We came home for a quick lunch, the boys rested, then it was time for the milking barns field trip!

*Dan kept Daniel. It was a wonderful trip.

*At 5:30 Dan called and had received tickets for the Silverwind concert from the airplane friend. [no grudge there!]

*Dan picked up a friend’s daughter to babysit.

*We praised God that His wonderful grace had met us at every step of this crazy day!

*The boys loved Kathy, the sitter, and she loved them.

*At the concert we got to praise our God loudly and wonderfully long-ly! I praised Him for LIFE! I got to release my thanks for sparing us catastrophe! Bless You, God!

To God belongs escapes from death. Psalm 68:20

156- An Amazing Testimony

156- An Amazing Testimony!

September 24, 1985

Last night our friend Lanny called at 7:00, inviting us to go on an airplane ride the next morning. He had his plane up for sale, and it had surprisingly sold earlier than expected, hence the short notice of taking us on a promised ride. My first reaction: what a wonderful experience. My second reaction: Keith Green’s disastrous experience popped into my brain with –a premonition? a warning? 

Also Lanny said, “It will be a tight squeeze but we can get everyone in.”

Dan’s first reaction when he got home and I told him: DANGER. He left us eating dinner and went into the other room and prayed for 15 minutes. He called Lanny and felt better. He agreed to 7:30 breakfast and plane trip.

I called Joyce for prayer. It was 8:30 pm. I wondered if I should disturb Jenny. I asked God to have her call me if He wanted me to ask for her prayers. Joe (her husband) called immediately! –to talk to Dan, and then I talked to Jenny. Oh what a wonderful Lord you are!!

The next morning God and the baby woke me up at 4:30am. I fumbled around till the thought of the plane ride came to my mind—I was immediately wide awake and praying in the living room. The dream I had two years ago—that Dan died and I was left with a baby boy named Dan, came to my mind. I thought and prayed—and I felt like God’s grace met me!! PEACE.

Debated as to weather or not to tell Dan the dream.

Crawled back into bed. Decided to tell Dan the dream at 7, when the alarm went off. We were due at their house at 7:30 for breakfast. Dan prayed and called and said “no” to the ride. We still went for breakfast.

Stevie cried—disappointed.

Lanny was hurt and upset, but trying to be a good sport. He’d already been to work and had had a terrible start to the day.

As soon as we sat down to eat our eggs—A KEITH GREEN SONG CAME ON THE RADIO!!  Keith Green was a wonderful and very famous Christian musician and singer who overloaded a private plane and crashed with two of his children and another family. All eleven passengers died.

When I got home I picked up an old devotional which I had found last week and one of the boys had carried into the kitchen. I opened to today’s dateActs 16:7 After they had come to Mysia, they tried to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit did not permit them.

This was one of those awesome confirmations of why walking close to Jesus is so important! I love how the entire experience flowed and how real the Holy Spirit was throughout.

Another confirmation for Dan was that later that day while visiting a friend he noticed a plaque on the wall which said, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life!”

This event only caused a slight disruption in our relationship with our friend.

149- Shouldn’t Be Under It, But I Am

149- Shouldn’t be Under It,  But I Am

June 11, 1985

Father, how do I get myself under you? I mean under your dominion!

I stay overwhelmed by the chores, children, clothes, errands, cleaning, etc.

Then I despise myself for being such a weak Christian and do nothing well.

Bless me, Father, bless me.

Why can’t I heed instruction (as in Proverbs 1) and be consistent?

Why have I become afraid of fellowship?

Because I feel like a failure as a Christian, I hate myself!

Bless me, bless me, Father.

Proverbs 8:34-36

~ listen to wisdom daily

~ excitedly

~ wait for wisdom with anticipation

~ you will find life

~ you will find Jesus

~ you will get his favor

~ if you hate wisdom you love death.

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 8:34 Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my gates waiting at my doorposts, for it is he who finds life and obtains favor from the Lord.

Day by day, Georgann. Recognize your condition for what it is, pour out your heart to the Lord, and go quickly to Jesus and to the Bible. Truth waits for you, truth transforms you.  You are okay. Just stay tight with Him.

137- I Am Called to Mothering

137- I Am Called to Mothering

December 27, 1984

Father I know You have more of me now. Something really happened in my will and in my heart–since my encounter with You last week.

Christmas morning I took Mary Lynn to work at 6:30am—in fact, I just realized I have awakened at 5am each day since my revelation of materialism and covetousness. Thank You, Father. And thank You that we did not move to NY. The support of friends has been vital at this time.

It is in my heart to want to spend more time with the boys– listening, sharing, reading, playing. I want each one to feel special and loved.

December 28

1 Cor 1:26 For consider your calling, brethren…

              28 …God has chosen the things that are not, that He might nullify the things that are…

             29 so that no man may boast before God…

             30 But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption,

              31 so that just as it is written, “LET HIM WHO BOASTS, BOAST IN THE LORD.

This is such a wonderful revelation to me:

     I am called to mothering. This has baffled me. Before Dan and I were married we put the subject of having children in Your hands, completely relying on Your will to be done. 

    When I was released from public school teaching and then the Christian school teaching job did not work out that fall, I realized I was very relieved. The car hop and cashier jobs caused me to feel you were directing me away from kids’ work.

But God chose something that WAS NOT so that I could NOT BOAST before Him. I was not yearning to be a mom, I was yearning to do Your will. And You gave me the calling to raise children as Your gift.

This fills me with excitement in my Spirit from my head to my toes. Not only does this say to me that the results are Yours, but the responsibility is Yours, too. It is ‘by His doing.’

I was impure, foolish, unholy, lost. Jesus Christ became my wisdom, righteousness, my sanctification, my redemption. BY HIS DOING  I am in Christ Jesus. I am so grateful.

135- A Humbling Christmastime Revelation

135- A Humbling Christmastime Revelation

Wrestling with myself when I read this entry, I decided to post it. The thoughts about Jesus were nothing I had ever thought of! I believe it was the devil trying to snare me into despising Him and into becoming anti-Christ. BUT, I went to the Word and I was saved from the world, my flesh, and the devil. I love God’s Word.

December 22, 1984

A most wonderful and humbling revelation has come to me as I have mused on this day and this season.

I have seen that the stubbornness I was holding onto to have MY way this Christmas resulted in an angry, bitter, ugly woman, dissatisfied with everything, and bitter over the lack of money needed to make Christmas be what I felt I deserved (based on the world’s glittering standards and my own family’s traditions). I have been at odds with my children, resentful of my husband (and yet amazed at his humility and servant attitude toward me in my confusion). Before my walk this morning Dan told me to meditate on:

Psalm 127:3 NIV Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him, the fruit of the womb is a reward.

1 Thessalonians 5:24 NIV The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it.

James 1:17 NIV Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

I read the verses, talked to God, and worshiped by my will–despising the hardness of my heart, yet I was set on receiving a blessing from the Lord. 

I remembered the Christmas note paper I saw yesterday: 

LET EVERY HEART PREPARE HIM ROOM

As I prayed and walked and thought, I realized that materialism was so entrenched in my heart that there was NO room for Jesus. But I heard myself saying: that does not bother me because I never liked that humble man who moved among the sick and poor, in plain and probably dirty clothing, sitting with people I did not admire and who I do not sit among myself! I really didn’t want to let Him in, poor as He was. I want the ‘good life’ with a Chrysler van, an expensive home inside and out, many presents under the tree, a perfect hairdo, well-behaved kids, a successful husband.

But then I thought—the reason I’m thinking like that is because of the world and the flesh. The reason I am blinded by that and cannot see past it—the devil.

Then—if children are God’s heritage, I AM WRONG IN MY THINKING, because God’s Word is right and truth.

So I claimed His Word to be living and active, etc., and for it to work on my hard heart.

128- Following God’s Trail – #10

128- Following God’s Trail – #10

July 1, 1984 Father, I am having a hard time believing YOU are asking us to stay in Reno. PLEASE SHOW ME.

I am having a hard time trusting You with our finances, and in finding very suitable housing here in Reno, and in finding a kindergarten acceptable for Tim. You promise to gently lead those who are with young. I am letting it all go and believing Your Word.

Here’s the story: Dan had been working for several months with the contractor on the new building for our church. It was full-time work and they worked well together.

In one week, two of the church elders went to Dan independently and both felt strongly from the Lord that the timing of our going off to Bible School was premature. We were dumbfounded.

The pastor offered him the job of foreman, overseeing the building of the church and managing the many volunteers who wanted to help out.

We prayed and fasted seeking the Lord.

We handed over the keys of our solar house to Peter and Marilyn Clarke and instead of driving 3,000 miles east across the country, we drove 5 miles west to a house in a quiet subdivision on Grandview Avenue. The rent was more than we wanted to spend but we were under pressure to find a place quickly. It was within a few miles of the church and in the same area of town we had been living for 2 years.

There was an elementary school across the street which had a very good reputation. I had been prepping Timmy: “Your teacher will love you. You are such a smart and cooperative boy. She will be so happy to have you in her class. Teachers love children who will work with them, obey them, and who want to learn.”

As it happened, they did not have room in the filled-to capacity first grades for my precious first born, and I was actually relieved. I had been reading, School Can Wait, by Raymond and Dorothy Moore.

July 22, 1984—Our 6th anniversary.

On our 6th anniversary, our sons were 5, 4, 2, and one month old. We had moved 7 times, including living in two foreign countries for short periods. Dan was 36 and I was 39.

We were crushed. All of our plans had been put on hold. We had laid down our vision for Japan and for Bible School, and we were in some subsidiary plan. God knew.

We believed we had been led by God to this point of surrender. We learned later that we were experiencing “the death of a vision.”

I went to google to get an explanation of the death of a vision and found a good one at http://www.thegoodbook.com. Pastor Cecil Thompson writes:

We are all fired up when the vision is fresh and new, but almost without warning things explode. Instead of seeing our vision fulfilled, it is like death has destroyed the vision. “What do we do now?”

Reeling, floundering…what’s going on, God? We were hastily trying to pull ourselves together after the explosion! We knew we had heard from the Lord and had walked with God to this point. All of the other “visions” and “God ideas” had come to pass, so what was this all about?

We believed by faith that God had specific purpose in letting us be deflated. We did not believe God was capricious, impulsive, and unpredictable. We decided to trust Him.

But we also had to regroup quickly!

Spoiler: We DID go to Elim Bible Institute two years later. And we could clearly see the wisdom in the delay.

126- Following God’s Trail – #8

126- Following God’s Trail – #8

June 1 –Although we sold our house for $8,000 less than the appraisal, bought a car we cannot afford, have not gotten the obstetrician I wanted, the peace of God is totally meeting me. It’s wonderful. We’re in a dimension of faith that is far beyond us. We have over-extended ourselves in faith. We are in His grace. Yet, I can’t think too hard about the new car. It’s done. Dan agrees. We have to rest and trust Him.

A few hours later, Reno Dodge called for us to return the car!! It had already been sold to another man who was irate when he came to pick it up and it wasn’t there. OH NO! But what a relief! Dan said when he prayed last night, wondering if we’d done the right thing, he’d felt God had said, “There’s a way out.”

This was amazing. We learned some valuable lessons without a tragic mistake. The air cleared and we could see that the car was not big enough and not gutsy enough. Praise Jesus—You saved us once again!

June 2 –packed boxes, called mom about selling the house and told her the car story.

June 3 –people in my Bible study are praying about my doctor’s stand-in ob/gyn and the house sale and the car!

The reason having baby number 4 early was so important to me is that my babies increased in size: #1 almost 8 lbs, #2 almost 9 lbs, #3 was 10 pounds. I wanted #4 to be more in the 8-9 pound range. My lady friends were taking up my cause and praying for the doctor to say okay to an early delivery!

Dan did a devotional at the church property, excellent! Praise God.

June 4 – worried about taking a newborn baby across the country in July. All the boys will have just had their birthdays: Tim 5, Steve 4, Mark 2.  Did not get into the Word today—it shows.

Dan did finances—bummed out. “God, if You want us to go to NY we will need to raise support here and I will have to work there.”

Met the on-call doctor since mine will be out of town at the time of the birth – professional, caring, compassionate. He will deliver ten days early.

HH at Elders’ meeting told Dan to “go home and ask God if you made a mistake on house sale.” (taking such a loss). He thinks God is able to deliver us from a bad decision, like He delivered us from the bad decision on the car! We do feel we were hasty, so we are before the Lord.

June 5 – I fell down out by rabbit cage two times! The second time it felt like I was PUSHED! Shaken and very worried about my baby. Called Karen to pray. Dan prayed. Worried. Called doctor. No spotting. Rested.

June 7 – Bob & Berta came by wanting advice—they are pursuing YWAM. They prayed about everything with us and we prayed for them!

June 9—signed escrow papers.

June 10 – Woke up before 5 and began thinking. BAD. Got uptight. Finally went to the Word. I felt very clearly led to psalms and felt that Ps 71:6 will be our baby’s testimony: By You I have been sustained from my birth; You are He who took me from my mother’s womb; my praise is continually of You.

June 11 –When I got up at 5:30am my Bible was opened to our guest speaker’s text yesterday at church: Isaiah 35:6b-7a For waters shall burst forth in the wilderness, and streams in the desert. The parched ground shall become a pool, and the thirsty land springs of water. Speaker said revival is coming to this valley very soon.

What am I to do with this Lord? You know our lives are before You. We would change our plans if we thought You wanted us to stay here more than going to NY. Speak, Lord, Your servant is listening.

Dan and I prayed both morning and evening – long prayers.

125- Following God’s Trail – #7

125- Following God’s Trail – #7

May 6 –at church, Sandy M prayed: “The Lord has touched your babies. He assured me that He will be there to supervise the delivery. He told me to tell you.”

May 8 –open house, a few came. I will not be discouraged because God is merciful and He is perfect in His timing. He has purposes to fulfill. I purpose to trust Him.

May 12 –car fire! Our Nova station wagon caught on fire in the grocery store parking lot. Very strange. No one was hurt.

May 20 –open house, two couples, both interested.

May 23 –to Lynn’s for Lamaze breathing practice.

May 25 –very tense day: Elim guy never called. I was under pressure to get this house ready for possible realtors’ visits before the boys and I left for Michele’s Bible study for the morning. Feeling overwhelmed. Karen called—the Lord told her it was urgent that she call me. Praise God. She prayed, I cried, and the tension broke and my perspective changed. Then after dinner, much baby activity. Continuous Braxton Hicks for 1 hour. Wore me out!

May 28 –recognized fear, uncertainty, lack of faith about baby’s birth. Cried out to the Lord. My resources won’t be sufficient—no confidence in the doctor, etc. I thought hard about God, but couldn’t really get ahold of Him. I thought—how can I have success? Joshua 1:8 came to mind. Decided to use my NAS Bible with the topical index. I had just bought a spiral notebook. Looking up verses on the favor of God and the faithfulness of God. Will meditate daily on them. Dan wants to read them with me. Together we will see our Lord work.

May 29 –I got up early for devotions and prayer. Meditated on my scriptures in my spiral notebook. My faith was built. Elim guy called and we have a house for $300 a month beginning in August in NY.

May 30 –A realtor, called saying the artist couple, the Clarke’s, are very interested in buying our house.

May 31 –Dan set himself to pray. He said: “God what if they offer us $92,000?” THEY DID! He felt God said, “Just sell.”

Signed the agreement to sell. They will call us back tomorrow if they agree with our date changes.

The car fire had sidelined our car. We went to a lot and bought a car. We were all out till 11:30pm.

We felt God’s grace and blessing. Dodge Colt Vista. Seven passenger. But it doesn’t FEEL like seven passenger and there is so little trunk area. Trying not to argue.

124- Following God’s Trail – #6

124- Following God’s Trail – #6

April 7, 1984 –On this sunny day, cleaned inside and outside the house. Looks great!

Lynn’s friends came by and are interested in our house. The situation seems impossible to us.

April 9 –I told a lady at the gas station that I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

April 13 – We are ready to put an ad in the paper. (Dan is wanting to do this sale on our own and skip realtor fees.)

Lynn called and her friends are still interested and will look again on Monday, so we will wait on putting the ad in the paper.

Joshua 2 in devotions. Very interesting how God leads, how God rescues His own, and the people He uses to help His people.

April 16Confess I got my expectation up today that the house will sell, we will have money in our pockets, and another car in front of the house, and be on our way to Oxnard to visit my parents. I was irritable though and Carol fervently prayed with me against irritability, discontent, anger, worry. PEACE came immediately.

God is showing me I can live in the flesh or in the Spirit – it’s my choice. “What are you going to settle for, Georgann?”  It takes such determination to stand against the world, the flesh and the devil. But my prayer to love God without compromise is paying off.

April 17 – Might get to have baby early. 

April 22 –I thought, why not use a realtor? It seemed like a God thought. It brought me release and peace. Dan thought about it and felt the same. This is a HUGE attitude reversal for him.

It’s Easter Sunday: Twenty-five people were saved at church today! The anointing came on the pastor about 2/3 of the way through his sermon.

April 23I cannot give away what I do not have. Give me MORE, Jesus: insights, compassion, faith with works. As I think of Your omnipotence, omnipresence, omniscience, peace floods over me. You DO know everything that we are going through, You DO have the power that we need, that we do not have, to accomplish what You have called us to do.

April 26 –The realtor came over. I am bowing out of this, I am too changeable. I will let Dan do it.

April 28 – Tim’s birthday. Jackie invited us all to dinner. She had a cake and a gift for Tim. Marsha sent McDonald’s coupons, Connie sent Sesame Street tickets.

Synopsis of last couple of weeks since I have not been writing daily: Beth was here in town for a week. Elim housing guy called and has 2 houses available. I wrote a story for Guideposts magazine and sent it off. (I thought it was great, they did not!)We completed the pre-admit for Saint Mary’s hospital.